The Lunar Goddess - wish I could fly

[Franklin]

The Lunar Goddess - wish I could fly

I never think she'll ever let me down
And now she is set to stay in town
But somehow I did not feel no delight
I'm worried she is gonna fly so high

If she can do it, I'll also do it
There I'll always be, wherever she is

I wish I could fly
I wish to hug her every night
I will travel with her through the day
Because I don't wanna get away

I wish I could score
I'll love the goddess no matter rich or poor
I wish I could fly, I wish I could fly
I wish I could fly

At times I felt I was about to melt down
But her encouragement kept me strong
She is the goddess in whom I believe
The biggest treasure in the world for me

If she can do it, I'll also do it
I'll just do it, though I don't really like it

I think I can't cry
I think I ought to be man-like
I'll act it out which I've never had
No matter the result good or bad

I won't feel any sore
I know it's just a life's learning course
So I've never lied, and I'll never lie
Love her till I die

[Franklin]

I ain't gonna act like a pussy. I mean, if she can get hired by that counterfeit chinks' version of PwC I don't see no reason why I can't. I'm smarter and I'm male (the preferable gender in the market place), not to say my education background that's far superior to hers. I just didn't have no interest in such glorified treadmill jobs in the first place but even though I know the whole shit is a sham and a trap, now I've decided to go there regardless since she's already signed there. Am I stupid, or is it just what a man should do for the girl he loves?

She's also facing a dilemma imho. Like that Wednesday two weeks ago when we went to that college for a job interview. We encountered a friend of hers there (a classmate of hers from undergraduate years), we took seats in an office waiting for the interview. They talked about something in a very low voice while I was sitting just a few yards away, I never had much interest in the whispers between girls, but unintentionally I heard LG said something like "what should I do?"... of course that question was asked concerning me, and apparently her friend didn't give her a certain answer. So what did she really think? Here are my two brief presumptions:

a. she likes me and wants to get me as soon as possible, but as a respectable women she doesn't want to make the "move" herself. She wants me to act just like most guys do, yet I'm still procrastinating... She has a hard time deciding whether she should continue waiting for me to act, or give up her pride and act it herself.

b. she doesn't like me yet she doesn't want to hurt me either. She knows I love her but she already has a boyfriend or shit, so all she can afford is being a common friend to me, and that's all... She wants to tell me the truth, yet she doesn't know how to make me accept this gruesome truth without breaking my heart.

I think the likelihood ratio between the two presumptions is 7:3. I mean if she already has a bf or if she doesn't have no interest in me, my friend Rhea (who's also her friend and knows her very well) would've warned me and told me the truth straight away, instead of letting me sink deeper and deeper into the emotional quagmire. If b is true, then it'd only mean Rhea is a class-one sadist asshole who enjoys and gloats about her friend's suffering. But anyway, I will act within this month, ask LG the question straight forward and get a result no matter if it's good or bad. I ain't gonna put off the shit to next year, tbh.

[Franklin]

There's another small possibility that I forgot to mention above. She may be thinking about moving on, she's tired of waiting and she's looking for new targets, but this is just a minimal possibility compared to the above 2 because:

I'm pretty sure that she still liked me just two weeks ago, and I don't think a Cancer girl could change her mind so quickly and drastically (even with that PwC offer considered). And more importantly, nearly the whole school know that I love her (and she doesn't seem to resist it, which means she probably likes me too), so if she jilts me and starts to date someone else, she'd have to face some severe moral accusations from our classmates (except the very best friend of hers of course) and even some of our teachers as well. So I think that neither of us could negotiate any other relationship at this point of time, without putting an end first to the current rumors about us on a mutual basis, tbh. I'll give her this chance in about two weeks maybe, and also a chance for me, to conclude a final answer to the past several months of mutual crush between us. (maybe it should've never been this complex, in the first place?)

[Reck]

Sounds like you're conflicted in having feelings for her and also despising her at the same time.

Work shit out, son. This is no good.

[Franklin]

I don't see where I ever despised her. I will continue to love her for a very long time whatever the "result". I'm just such a type of person, when I've already fallen in love for someone it's very hard for me to get out of it even if I know she no longer likes me or doesn't like me at all, and that's why I was so afraid to fall in love back then, tbh :cry

LG knows what a person I am (she's read my Stranger in Hometown) so if she's a good girl she wouldn't have played me around imho. She flirted me back in June so I assumed immediately that she liked me, and I gradually fell in love for her, otherwise my mind would've been strong enough to prevent me from stepping into another "woman's trap" tbh. If I somehow come to love some girl that doesn't love me, my mind and life would be even more fucked up than my nigga Jacob's tbh.

[Jacob1983]

She got married in Montana. I haven't seen pics. I'm sure her breasts looked great in her wedding dress.

[Franklin]

Who's "she", tbh? The girl you once had a crush on or a legit girlfriend you once had? I have total sympathy for you. A current classmate of mine experienced something similar... he had a girlfriend during undergraduate years but bitch left him in the end, went to NY and got married to some yank. But there're still decent girls out there around you bro, just don't get too upset with yourself imho. All you need to do is see the brighter side of life, there're better girls just waiting for you which you haven't noticed yet. Missing out on a bad girl will only turn out to be a blessing in disguise tbh.

[m>s]

Just ask her out already!!

[Franklin]

I'll ask her out before Christmas but I'm not doing it in a hurry, bro. I'll wait another week or two for the offer of a job that I interviewed for on Monday this week (which I'm confident enough I will get), I think it'd be great to make the "move" when I also had a contract at hand tbh. Plus, LG will spend a week in Beijing this month for a training session (she's been working part-time at a private education institute), she told me about it a long time ago. I want to make the "move" after she returns home tbh. And, I'm gonna purchase a necklace online for her on Dec.12 (because on that day every commodity is sold at a discount, chinks call it "double twelve"), and I believe my scholarship money will have been sent to my account by then. I just want her to know that, I have bought the gift with my own scholarship money rather than my parents' money tbh, and it'd be especially meaningful to buy her my first gift with scholarship money imho.