View Full Version : feaking Bexar County Sheriffs
CosmicCowboy
04-01-2015, 01:36 PM
My wife has been driving for 40 years and never got a ticket.
She's driving this morning and a dove hits her windshield and she kind of freaks out. It killed the bird and it was stuck on her windshield. She said she just wanted it gone so she turned on the windshield wipers and then it kind of got stuck under the left wiper and it was rubbing the bird back and forth, smearing blood on her windshield.
My wife is a neat freak and keeps her car spotless. So she is freaking out about the dead bird and the smeared blood. So she cranks up the wipers all the way and it literally throws the bird off her car and into the lane next to her.
It's a two lane and the dove hits the oncoming car right in the windshield and it turns out to be a sheriff that whips a Uey, turns on the lights and pulls her over.
He chewed her out for a few seconds and then wrote her a ticket.
Unbelievable! She will be fighting this one even if we have to hire a lawyer.
The Reckoning
04-01-2015, 02:01 PM
:lmao
Cry Havoc
04-01-2015, 02:02 PM
So as opposed to pulling off to the side of the road, she launched a projectile at high speed across a lane of traffic? If the oncoming car thought it was something heavy they might have swerved to avoid it.
A ticket isn't entirely necessary but I completely understand the cop's position. Probably scared the crap out of him. I doubt the court is going to let this ticket go unless the cop fails to show up.
cantthinkofanything
04-01-2015, 02:07 PM
My wife has been driving for 40 years and never got a ticket.
She's driving this morning and a dove hits her windshield and she kind of freaks out. It killed the bird and it was stuck on her windshield. She said she just wanted it gone so she turned on the windshield wipers and then it kind of got stuck under the left wiper and it was rubbing the bird back and forth, smearing blood on her windshield.
My wife is a neat freak and keeps her car spotless. So she is freaking out about the dead bird and the smeared blood. So she cranks up the wipers all the way and it literally throws the bird off her car and into the lane next to her.
It's a two lane and the dove hits the oncoming car right in the windshield and it turns out to be a sheriff that whips a Uey, turns on the lights and pulls her over.
He chewed her out for a few seconds and then wrote her a ticket.
Unbelievable! She will be fighting this one even if we have to hire a lawyer.
total bullshit
Avante
04-01-2015, 02:07 PM
Tell the wife this....
Honey, the next time that happens, pull over, get out and remove the bird. I'll buy you a pair of gloves to keep in the car just in case that ever happens again.
Trainwreck2100
04-01-2015, 02:09 PM
So she turned a dangerous situation into a more dangerous situation. And got a ticket for ut
lil'mo
04-01-2015, 02:13 PM
This joke is poorly paraphrased
CosmicCowboy
04-01-2015, 02:15 PM
not very funny. we are fighting it.
Cry Havoc
04-01-2015, 02:15 PM
Tell the wife this....
Honey, the next time that happens, pull over, get out and remove the bird. I'll buy you a pair of gloves to keep in the car just in case that ever happens again.
So she turned a dangerous situation into a more dangerous situation. And got a ticket for ut
:tu
Blake
04-01-2015, 02:17 PM
What was the ticket for exactly?
i don't see it sticking like the bird did
CosmicCowboy
04-01-2015, 02:21 PM
What was the ticket for exactly?
i don't see it sticking like the bird did
Flipping him the bird.
Happy 4/1/2015
Blake
04-01-2015, 02:22 PM
Flipping him the bird.
Lol.
seriously, what was the ticket for
DJR210
04-01-2015, 02:23 PM
Texas Penal Code 147.8 specifically states that you may never use your windshield wipers to launch dead birds at oncoming traffic. Your wife is wrong for that, and I hope she is prosecuted to the highest extent of the law.
God bless.
TeyshaBlue
04-01-2015, 02:24 PM
*April Rimshot*
cantthinkofanything
04-01-2015, 02:24 PM
Lol.
seriously, what was the ticket for
probably prostitution
CosmicCowboy
04-01-2015, 02:24 PM
Lol.
seriously, what was the ticket for
April Fools :lol
The Reckoning
04-01-2015, 02:28 PM
My wife has been driving for 40 years and never got a ticket.
dead giveway
Blake
04-01-2015, 02:35 PM
April Fools :lol
It's so late in the day, forgot all about it.
side note, please take the dead bird and shove it up your pee hole
baseline bum
04-01-2015, 03:17 PM
Flipping him the bird.
Happy 4/1/2015
I was like WTF? What was she doing out of the kitchen? Good one CC. :toast
TheSanityAnnex
04-01-2015, 03:19 PM
It's so late in the day, forgot all about it.
side note, please take the dead bird and shove it up your pee hole
The Kinduru Bird
Sportcamper
04-01-2015, 03:59 PM
I was like WTF? What was she doing out of the kitchen?
:lmao
SnakeBoy
04-01-2015, 09:23 PM
Flipping him the bird.
Happy 4/1/2015
I lol'ed. Good one CC.
pgardn
04-01-2015, 10:07 PM
My wife has been driving for 40 years and never got a ticket.
She's driving this morning and a dove hits her windshield and she kind of freaks out. It killed the bird and it was stuck on her windshield. She said she just wanted it gone so she turned on the windshield wipers and then it kind of got stuck under the left wiper and it was rubbing the bird back and forth, smearing blood on her windshield.
My wife is a neat freak and keeps her car spotless. So she is freaking out about the dead bird and the smeared blood. So she cranks up the wipers all the way and it literally throws the bird off her car and into the lane next to her.
It's a two lane and the dove hits the oncoming car right in the windshield and it turns out to be a sheriff that whips a Uey, turns on the lights and pulls her over.
He chewed her out for a few seconds and then wrote her a ticket.
Unbelievable! She will be fighting this one even if we have to hire a lawyer.
Holy shit.
How bad would I want to have been there? Very, very bad.
Thats unadulterated comedy.
Did he call your wife a little pumpkin pie-headed freak...
Holy crap what a fantastic day in the life of police relations.
Btw, the description was A+
pgardn
04-01-2015, 10:09 PM
Totally sucked me in and I don't care who knows about it.
RD2191
04-01-2015, 11:39 PM
Crofl blake. Superior intelligent atheist.:lmao
SnakeBoy
04-02-2015, 12:29 AM
Crofl blake. Superior intelligent atheist.:lmao
:lol easily fooled. Still couldn't figure it out even after CC told him it was a joke.:lol
RD2191
04-02-2015, 12:53 AM
:lol easily fooled. Still couldn't figure it out even after CC told him it was a joke.:lol
:lol
Koolaid_Man
04-02-2015, 06:46 AM
My wife has been driving for 40 years and never got a ticket.
She's driving this morning and a dove hits her windshield and she kind of freaks out. It killed the bird and it was stuck on her windshield. She said she just wanted it gone so she turned on the windshield wipers and then it kind of got stuck under the left wiper and it was rubbing the bird back and forth, smearing blood on her windshield.
My wife is a neat freak and keeps her car spotless. So she is freaking out about the dead bird and the smeared blood. So she cranks up the wipers all the way and it literally throws the bird off her car and into the lane next to her.
It's a two lane and the dove hits the oncoming car right in the windshield and it turns out to be a sheriff that whips a Uey, turns on the lights and pulls her over.
He chewed her out for a few seconds and then wrote her a ticket.
Unbelievable! She will be fighting this one even if we have to hire a lawyer.
I agree with the cop..we need to keep old ass skeezers from behind the wheel....now go pay the fucking ticket for her....Wipe your mouth off once your done...:lol
e4vJ1XWUAd8
Blake
04-02-2015, 08:06 AM
:lol easily fooled. Still couldn't figure it out even after CC told him it was a joke.:lol
He edited his post to add "April fools", genius.
Blake
04-02-2015, 08:08 AM
Crofl blake. Superior intelligent atheist.:lmao
Croflmao you've been told over and over that the Bible is a huge April fools day joke on humanity, and you still willingly fall for it.
RD2191
04-03-2015, 03:42 PM
:lol
RD2191
04-03-2015, 03:52 PM
What was the ticket for exactly?
i don't see it sticking like the bird did
Lol.
seriously, what was the ticket for
He edited his post to add "April fools", genius.
:lmao
Blake
04-03-2015, 04:20 PM
Dude you're trying wayy too hard
SnakeBoy
04-03-2015, 04:29 PM
:lol Blake is still wondering what the ticket was for
RD2191
04-03-2015, 05:11 PM
:lol Blake is still wondering what the ticket was for
:lol
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