If You Had To Pick Which Religion Would You Choose....

[Koolaid_Man]

Pick one or die a slow death by having honey rubbed up your ass while tied to a tree under a massive fire ant bed in the amazon rainforest.....

[RD2191]

jehovah witness. it's the truth my brothers.

[Buddy Mignon]

I'd design my own.

I'd take the chosen people aspect from the Jews.
I'd take the multi-level marketing aspect from the Scientologists.
I'd take the going to heaven and getting a score of virgins from the muslims.
I'd make myself a christ-like figure.
And we would not accept tithes or offerings. We would raise money getting a one million insurance policy on every convert... beneficiary made out to The Church of Luv.

[Avante]

Avanteism

[Koolaid_Man]

I'd design my own.

I'd take the chosen people aspect from the Jews.
I'd take the multi-level marketing aspect from the Scientologists.
I'd take the going to heaven and getting a score of virgins from the muslims.
I'd make myself a christ-like figure.
And we would not accept tithes or offerings. We would raise money getting a one million insurance policy on every convert... beneficiary made out to The Church of Luv.

:lolThat's not bad.... Island of Dr. Moreau type shit huh....

[Koolaid_Man]

Avanteism

would this be your credo?


Colossians 3:20 (http://www.biblestudytools.com/colossians/3-20.html/)


20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. (http://www.biblestudytools.com/colossians/3-20.html/)

[Koolaid_Man]

jehovah witness. it's the truth my brothers.

why do you say that...are you one?

[Malik Hairston]

Probably Islam(NOI), tbh..

[apalisoc_9]

None tbh...

But If i really had to pick one, probably Islam.

It's a lot better than the alternatives.

It also makes much more sense.

[TeyshaBlue]

Buddhism, hands down.

[Avante]

I can't toss out common sense, so there goes Christianity, Mormon, Jehovah Witness.

I can't follow anything a desert murderer started.

I know nothing about Hindu/Buddism.

Yep, Avanteism for me. An all powerful supreme being who gave us all we have. There just aren't any stupid stories or do's and don'ts. You let it be known you accept "it" as your God and you will be taken care of. If you don't you will simply be ignored.

[Blake]

Yep, Avanteism for me. An all powerful supreme being who gave us all we have. There just aren't any stupid stories or do's and don'ts. You let it be known you accept "it" as your God and you will be taken care of. if you don't you will simply be ignored.

Yeah, i can't follow a god this stupid

[Avante]

Yeah, i can't follow a god this stupid

Wow~~~~~~~~~

I'll go slow..AGAIN!

It's not the God that is stupid little man, ok? It's us, we are the ones making up all that stupid shit, ok?

Wow!

[Blake]

I'll go slow..AGAIN!



That's your only speed, tbh

[Avante]

That's your only speed, tbh

But here you are CONSTANTLY, right? Little man, you come here to bug people, I play with ya son. ok? Can't believe you haven't figured that out by now. You really are a moron.

Dude, more than a few times I point you out to friends, you are fucked up, ok? Mason called you....Flake.

You suck ya little shit ,ok?

[Buddy Mignon]

:lolThat's not bad.... Island of Dr. Moreau type shit huh....

Moreau was on to something. I know they went all sci-fi on it but he was showing us something about ourselves there.

"Dr. Moreau (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000008/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): Permit me Mr.Douglas, to tell you something of the Devil as I've come to know him. The Devil is that element in human nature, that impels us to destroy and debase.
Edward Douglas (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000667/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): And what are you about upon this island but destruction and debasement.
Dr. Moreau (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000008/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): Oh well, I can tell you very plainly...
[Majai interrupts by putting his foot on the dinner table to which Dr.Moreau reacts]
Dr. Moreau (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000008/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): No please, don't do that.
[Majai removes foot from table]
Dr. Moreau (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000008/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): For 17 years I have been striving to create a... some measure of refinement in the human species you see. And it is here, on this very island, that I sir, have found the very essence of the Devil.
Edward Douglas (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000667/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): What do you mean?
Dr. Moreau (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000008/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): I've seen the Devil, in my microscope and I have chained him, and I suppose you could say in a sense metaphorically speaking, I have cut him to pieces. The Devil, Mr.Douglas, I've found is nothing more than a tiresome collection of genes, and it is with great assurance that I can tell you, that Lucifer, Son of Morning is no more."

Religion would be no more if man could grasp that simple concept.

[Trill Clinton]

hebrew israelites just for the fuckery


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F23cn4zjZn0



https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=106&v=d3vENZVSPt4

[apalisoc_9]

I can't toss out common sense, so there goes Christianity, Mormon, Jehovah Witness.

I can't follow anything a desert murderer started.

I know nothing about Hindu/Buddism.

Yep, Avanteism for me. An all powerful supreme being who gave us all we have. There just aren't any stupid stories or do's and don'ts. You let it be known you accept "it" as your God and you will be taken care of. If you don't you will simply be ignored.

you realize every religion was started by a desert dweller right?

[DMC]

jehovah witness. it's the truth my brothers.
lol Watchtower... elders... lol

[RD2191]

lol Watchtower... elders... lol
So did you vote?

[DMC]

The rain forest idea doesn't sound so bad.

[DMC]

So did you vote?
Yeah. The non-theistic religion which is basically a lifestyle choice. Anything that has a deity as a central figure is more than I can stomach.

[phyzik]

Pretty limited list of religions since there are literally thousands available..... but I'll play along.....

Following the premise of the thread title, if I HAD to pick one of these religions listed with no other choice, I would choose Scientology.... here are my reasons....

1) Off chance of hanging out with filthy rich mofo's like Tom Cruise and John Travolta. Might as well make the best of a shitty situation.

2) Aliens. More probable than an invisible sky daddy.

3) It is arguably the most bat shit insane religion of the modern day, which tickles my funny bone... If you're forced to go retard, might as well go all the way.

[bigzak25]

I'm not going to your church. If I go, I go Baptist.

[spurraider21]

Pastafarianism

[Koolaid_Man]

Moreau was on to something. I know they went all sci-fi on it but he was showing us something about ourselves there.

"Dr. Moreau (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000008/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): Permit me Mr.Douglas, to tell you something of the Devil as I've come to know him. The Devil is that element in human nature, that impels us to destroy and debase.
Edward Douglas (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000667/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): And what are you about upon this island but destruction and debasement.
Dr. Moreau (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000008/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): Oh well, I can tell you very plainly...
[Majai interrupts by putting his foot on the dinner table to which Dr.Moreau reacts]
Dr. Moreau (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000008/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): No please, don't do that.
[Majai removes foot from table]
Dr. Moreau (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000008/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): For 17 years I have been striving to create a... some measure of refinement in the human species you see. And it is here, on this very island, that I sir, have found the very essence of the Devil.
Edward Douglas (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000667/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): What do you mean?
Dr. Moreau (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000008/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): I've seen the Devil, in my microscope and I have chained him, and I suppose you could say in a sense metaphorically speaking, I have cut him to pieces. The Devil, Mr.Douglas, I've found is nothing more than a tiresome collection of genes, and it is with great assurance that I can tell you, that Lucifer, Son of Morning is no more."

Religion would be no more if man could grasp that simple concept.




That's deep for me brah.....but I still think the devil is a spirit...because it is my belief from my own personal brain trust....nothing i've read or been told...that what we see all around us (including genetic make up) is nothing more than a manifestation of what we cant see...

For example....take a seed.....that seed if broken down at a molecular level can get so small past the neutrino stage till it becomes non existent....but something invisible caused it to become at a level we not only cant see but cant detect....that level to me is the other realm.....

Everything we see around us is nothing more than a representative of what already exists in a spirit format....

I believe that just like the physical realm...angels or spirit creatures whatever want to call them are exact mirrors of us....they copulate, have spirit kids that grow up and die just like us...they have spiritual planets and universes just like us...again we're nothing but a physical replica....

I came to this conclusion on my own as I've tried to make sense of my life over the years and pondered what's next for me...

The legend of the Phoenix I'm giving a second look.....

By the way I just got back from tagging me some Spanish ass....so Im now free to fuck around online for as long as I want...:lol

[DMC]

Pastafarianism
His noodly appendages be praised.

[DMC]

That's deep for me brah.....but I still think the devil is a spirit...because it is my belief from my own personal brain trust....nothing i've read or been told...that what we see all around us (including genetic make up) is nothing more than a manifestation of what we cant see...

For example....take a seed.....that seed if broken down at a molecular level can get so small past the neutrino stage till it becomes non existent....but something invisible caused it to become at a level we not only cant see but cant detect....that level to me is the other realm.....

Everything we see around us is nothing more than a representative of what already exists in a spirit format....

I believe that just like the physical realm...angels or spirit creatures whatever want to call them are exact mirrors of us....they copulate, have spirit kids that grow up and die just like us...they have spiritual planets and universes just like us...again we're nothing but a physical replica....

I came to this conclusion on my own as I've tried to make sense of my life over the years and pondered what's next for me...

The legend of the Phoenix I'm giving a second look.....

By the way I just got back from tagging me some Spanish ass....so Im now free to fuck around online for as long as I want...:lol
Bend over, I'll let you take some seed.

[Koolaid_Man]

Bend over, I'll let you take some seed.

With what?....Your pussy

[byrontx]

I saw some little flick the other day with Jesus all of a sudden showing up in troubled people's lives and acting all encouraging and stuff...He seemed like a serious wuss. I got to thinking what the modern Jesus should be like to match his tribe. You know, packing a Glock and a AR15, tearing up a bakery for making a cake for a gay wedding, throwing blood at clinics that perform aborations, building a mega-mega church, and rocking some "Supported by the Koch Bros." patches on his robes. The modern Jesus would be a lot more entertaining than that ol' "love your neighbor one." I think he would be quite popular, especially if he preached cutting kids access to healthcare, lowering taxes, and bombing Iranians.