Padres #1 FAN!!!!!11
06-20-2015, 11:10 PM
In addition to being a hardworking, tactful pre-med student who constantly finishes at the top of the class with humility and grace and pays attention to detail, there are also other things I excel at. One of the many is that I constantly display characteristics of a specific species that is commonly known as the alpha male. And over the next few months I will continually spread advice to the community that has given me oh so much over the years on how you too, can become this same dominant figure.
Today is my first lesson on being the alpha male. To start, what exactly is an alpha male? To be the alpha, you have to live it every single day and make everyone in your presence known that they are about to be dominated and that you are the apex predator. And what better way to do that than to constantly attempt to bed another man's women? Whenever a good friend brings around his girlfriend, you immediately begin hitting on her and/or try to bed her within 5 minutes. If your friend tries to stop you, you bend your knees at a 35 degree angle like below in Figure 1 spread your elbows outward like you're boxing out your opponent. Keep him "boxed out" by thumping your ass in his chest and/or occasionally throw a 'wild' elbow near his face. If he turns to violence, that's when you switch roles. Say something like "Hey bro, why the need to get violent? I was just messing around." I've stolen many girls with this technique and after having their girls cheat on them with me, my friends usually thank me continually for showing them how to be alpha. Now you have to do this repeatedly throughout the day to keep the momentum going. An added bonus is breaking up marriages and ruining their children's lives. Nothing gives me more pleasure than to find out that a women I bedded, had a faithful marriage, and it all gets ruined just because of me. And of course after they divorce I never hit her up again. Now this all doesn't just stop with friends. Incest, is never frowned upon in a true alpha's book. After all, women are just means to satisfy an alpha's sexual conquest. So if you've been on a dry spell and your sister's looking good, just remember "If it's old enough to pee, it's good enough for me"
Thank you guys, see you next time.
http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2010/1015/nba_g_beasley_b1_288v.jpg
Figure 1
Today is my first lesson on being the alpha male. To start, what exactly is an alpha male? To be the alpha, you have to live it every single day and make everyone in your presence known that they are about to be dominated and that you are the apex predator. And what better way to do that than to constantly attempt to bed another man's women? Whenever a good friend brings around his girlfriend, you immediately begin hitting on her and/or try to bed her within 5 minutes. If your friend tries to stop you, you bend your knees at a 35 degree angle like below in Figure 1 spread your elbows outward like you're boxing out your opponent. Keep him "boxed out" by thumping your ass in his chest and/or occasionally throw a 'wild' elbow near his face. If he turns to violence, that's when you switch roles. Say something like "Hey bro, why the need to get violent? I was just messing around." I've stolen many girls with this technique and after having their girls cheat on them with me, my friends usually thank me continually for showing them how to be alpha. Now you have to do this repeatedly throughout the day to keep the momentum going. An added bonus is breaking up marriages and ruining their children's lives. Nothing gives me more pleasure than to find out that a women I bedded, had a faithful marriage, and it all gets ruined just because of me. And of course after they divorce I never hit her up again. Now this all doesn't just stop with friends. Incest, is never frowned upon in a true alpha's book. After all, women are just means to satisfy an alpha's sexual conquest. So if you've been on a dry spell and your sister's looking good, just remember "If it's old enough to pee, it's good enough for me"
Thank you guys, see you next time.
http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2010/1015/nba_g_beasley_b1_288v.jpg
Figure 1