ObiwanGinobili
09-14-2005, 12:12 PM
Ok folks.
after a bit of badgering I have given into a demand to submit an article to Parenting magazine. I've never done this before and untill last week had not even entertained the idea. I just post articles on my mother's forums for public enjoyment.
So here is the one thats won the popular vote - I tried to "freshen" it up a bit with spelling and grammer corrections. (although I'm sure there are still plenty of mistakes).
I'm posting it here at a non-mommy related forum hoping for a bit more "honest" opinion.
So please read and have at it folks. ( I promise not to cry if you think it sucks).
My main questions are:
1. Do you think it is "Parenting Magazine" worthy?
2. am i having paragraph problems?
3. do you feel it's a smooth read?
4. Not set on the title - suggestions welcome!
ok. thanks!
__________________________________________________ _________
Of Toilets and Related Musings.......
by Casandra *blank*
Many years ago I was a Girl Scout. Ohhhh memories. I was a Junior Girl Scout, a Cadet, and a Senior. I earned a lot of badges. One badge that I earned on 2 separate occasions was Childcare... one 3 separate occasions I also earned First Aid. The bulk of "earning" for these badges was nightly classes at the local Red Cross; where I learned a very valuable safety/babysitting/childcare lesson:
When going to the Bathroom take infants and young toddlers with you.
WOW! Such words of wisdom, those were.
Years pass and I faithfully employ this gem with every munchkin I watch and every sibling or cousin I entertain. Until finally, one day, after 5 years of marriage, I have a little munchkin of my own – Isabella. And yes - I take her to the bathroom with me. At first she's strapped to my chest in her sling. Later I drag her down the hall in her bouncy seat, and then she sits in her Bumbo chair. Eventually she's toddling to the bathroom right on my heels.
A quick pee, mommy's shower or bath......even “#2”. All are certain & trusted entertainment for my darling daughter.
Well today I am 34 weeks pregnant. I pee all the time. I don't hunt my daughter down and drag her to the bathroom anymore, no need. She’s old enough to go without mommy for 5 minutes, or so you would think. She's 17 months old and takes every opportunity to demonstrate what a BIG girl she is. (Hates to be coddled, can feed herself every morsel, etc. etc) She can play in her room for up to an hour alone with out a single thought of where her mother has gone off to. But, god forbid I take a 2-minute trip to the restroom with the door closed! Yep.. she can sense that a mile away.
So these days I pee with the door open and try to regulate my bowels to nap times. (Showers and baths are a different story because I, queen of all the clumsy people, am not "allowed" to take them if another adult is not home.) Sometimes Isabella comes into the bathroom when I'm peeing... she wants to crawl around to the back of the toilet... or get everything out from under the sink cabinet (where she knows she's not allowed to go but also knows I'm stuck on the toilet)...or get the toilet tissue unrolled and ready (even if she thinks I only need 2 squares, it’s very sweet)...and sometimes she wants to flush the toilet.
But no matter what - every time is party time in Isabella's mind! It’s a time for singing, booty shaking, foot stomping and toys! Lots of toys! After all - what's a quick trip to the restroom with out rubber duckies and coloring books?? How could anyone take a piss without a bit of entertainment??
All of this I put up with. I deal and smile a motherly smile. Sure it’s not the most comfortable situation in the world for me... but I try to console myself that I'm avoiding unnecessary tantrums. And do I really have a right to complain?? I did put myself in this situation to start with. Maybe Isabella's keen bathroom interest will help in potty training - (an exercise we will soon be starting) - at least she's not afraid of the flush!
And then today I had to do #2. I had to take a dump. I had to empty my bowels. In short I really needed to take a crap. Badly. Quite unusual to have that feeling so early in the morning... but maybe that had something to do with the two plates of spaghetti and the bowl of fresh spinach I had for dinner last night. Eh, who knows? The point is that with naptime still 3 hours away I was forced to take my first BM during Isabella waking hours. Oh great. Just great.
Being 34 weeks pregnant makes BM's a bit.. well.. different. I have to take my time. There's no getting around it... time and patience must be exercised. So I wait, patiently, as long as I can. Finally my dear child looks to be thoroughly occupied with a beetle out on the patio. I'm sure she's torturing the poor thing to death, but I have my own worries! So I sneak down the hall to the guest restroom and shut the door all but 2 inches.
No sooner am I happily perched on the porcelain throne before this worrisome thought crosses my mind "I hope she doesn't eat that beetle!!" No need to worry because her she comes at full speed: "wa blegolugly luu-luucklu, freditglu ..." or whatever language she speaks. She has found me. No sign on beetle in the mouth - whew! Good.
"Yes, mommy's on the potty." I can clearly hear 64 Zoo Lane emanating from the living room. “Don’t you want to go see Georgina? She’s incredibly tall.”
Zoom!! Isabella goes running to the living room.
Yeah for mommy! Then I hear the volume on the TV go up...and up. (When did she learn that?) And then there she is back in the bathroom again, happily dancing to the 64 Zoo Lane theme song. She spots the rubber duckies in the bathtub, and of course I'm in no position to stop her. In she goes - head first. Ugh. Four seconds of crying before she realizes her hands are wrapped tightly around the prize ducks. So she joyfully climbs back out - head first. Luckily I could break her fall on this side with my foot.
Mommy spends the next 20 minutes jailed on the toilet, the main audience to a constant parade of coloring books, stuffed monkeys, little tykes noise hammers, a giant spinning plastic beetle, a Finding Nemo child’s lawn chair, a sippy cup, a football, the remote for the TV, the remote for the DVD, 3 new diapers, a giant tub of cocoa butter, mommy's wallet (great, she figured out the zipper on the diaper bag), and my new 3x9 Partylite candle (great, she pulled out a dining room chair and got on the table).
Ugh. What have I gotten myself into?
But who doesn’t feel a slight lump of pride when 17month old claps and yells her approval at your amazing ability to not only wipe yourself, but also pull up your own pants?? And don’t we all deserve a victory dance when we flush the toilet???
After all- that has got to be magic!
__________________________________________________ _________
allright - fire away.
after a bit of badgering I have given into a demand to submit an article to Parenting magazine. I've never done this before and untill last week had not even entertained the idea. I just post articles on my mother's forums for public enjoyment.
So here is the one thats won the popular vote - I tried to "freshen" it up a bit with spelling and grammer corrections. (although I'm sure there are still plenty of mistakes).
I'm posting it here at a non-mommy related forum hoping for a bit more "honest" opinion.
So please read and have at it folks. ( I promise not to cry if you think it sucks).
My main questions are:
1. Do you think it is "Parenting Magazine" worthy?
2. am i having paragraph problems?
3. do you feel it's a smooth read?
4. Not set on the title - suggestions welcome!
ok. thanks!
__________________________________________________ _________
Of Toilets and Related Musings.......
by Casandra *blank*
Many years ago I was a Girl Scout. Ohhhh memories. I was a Junior Girl Scout, a Cadet, and a Senior. I earned a lot of badges. One badge that I earned on 2 separate occasions was Childcare... one 3 separate occasions I also earned First Aid. The bulk of "earning" for these badges was nightly classes at the local Red Cross; where I learned a very valuable safety/babysitting/childcare lesson:
When going to the Bathroom take infants and young toddlers with you.
WOW! Such words of wisdom, those were.
Years pass and I faithfully employ this gem with every munchkin I watch and every sibling or cousin I entertain. Until finally, one day, after 5 years of marriage, I have a little munchkin of my own – Isabella. And yes - I take her to the bathroom with me. At first she's strapped to my chest in her sling. Later I drag her down the hall in her bouncy seat, and then she sits in her Bumbo chair. Eventually she's toddling to the bathroom right on my heels.
A quick pee, mommy's shower or bath......even “#2”. All are certain & trusted entertainment for my darling daughter.
Well today I am 34 weeks pregnant. I pee all the time. I don't hunt my daughter down and drag her to the bathroom anymore, no need. She’s old enough to go without mommy for 5 minutes, or so you would think. She's 17 months old and takes every opportunity to demonstrate what a BIG girl she is. (Hates to be coddled, can feed herself every morsel, etc. etc) She can play in her room for up to an hour alone with out a single thought of where her mother has gone off to. But, god forbid I take a 2-minute trip to the restroom with the door closed! Yep.. she can sense that a mile away.
So these days I pee with the door open and try to regulate my bowels to nap times. (Showers and baths are a different story because I, queen of all the clumsy people, am not "allowed" to take them if another adult is not home.) Sometimes Isabella comes into the bathroom when I'm peeing... she wants to crawl around to the back of the toilet... or get everything out from under the sink cabinet (where she knows she's not allowed to go but also knows I'm stuck on the toilet)...or get the toilet tissue unrolled and ready (even if she thinks I only need 2 squares, it’s very sweet)...and sometimes she wants to flush the toilet.
But no matter what - every time is party time in Isabella's mind! It’s a time for singing, booty shaking, foot stomping and toys! Lots of toys! After all - what's a quick trip to the restroom with out rubber duckies and coloring books?? How could anyone take a piss without a bit of entertainment??
All of this I put up with. I deal and smile a motherly smile. Sure it’s not the most comfortable situation in the world for me... but I try to console myself that I'm avoiding unnecessary tantrums. And do I really have a right to complain?? I did put myself in this situation to start with. Maybe Isabella's keen bathroom interest will help in potty training - (an exercise we will soon be starting) - at least she's not afraid of the flush!
And then today I had to do #2. I had to take a dump. I had to empty my bowels. In short I really needed to take a crap. Badly. Quite unusual to have that feeling so early in the morning... but maybe that had something to do with the two plates of spaghetti and the bowl of fresh spinach I had for dinner last night. Eh, who knows? The point is that with naptime still 3 hours away I was forced to take my first BM during Isabella waking hours. Oh great. Just great.
Being 34 weeks pregnant makes BM's a bit.. well.. different. I have to take my time. There's no getting around it... time and patience must be exercised. So I wait, patiently, as long as I can. Finally my dear child looks to be thoroughly occupied with a beetle out on the patio. I'm sure she's torturing the poor thing to death, but I have my own worries! So I sneak down the hall to the guest restroom and shut the door all but 2 inches.
No sooner am I happily perched on the porcelain throne before this worrisome thought crosses my mind "I hope she doesn't eat that beetle!!" No need to worry because her she comes at full speed: "wa blegolugly luu-luucklu, freditglu ..." or whatever language she speaks. She has found me. No sign on beetle in the mouth - whew! Good.
"Yes, mommy's on the potty." I can clearly hear 64 Zoo Lane emanating from the living room. “Don’t you want to go see Georgina? She’s incredibly tall.”
Zoom!! Isabella goes running to the living room.
Yeah for mommy! Then I hear the volume on the TV go up...and up. (When did she learn that?) And then there she is back in the bathroom again, happily dancing to the 64 Zoo Lane theme song. She spots the rubber duckies in the bathtub, and of course I'm in no position to stop her. In she goes - head first. Ugh. Four seconds of crying before she realizes her hands are wrapped tightly around the prize ducks. So she joyfully climbs back out - head first. Luckily I could break her fall on this side with my foot.
Mommy spends the next 20 minutes jailed on the toilet, the main audience to a constant parade of coloring books, stuffed monkeys, little tykes noise hammers, a giant spinning plastic beetle, a Finding Nemo child’s lawn chair, a sippy cup, a football, the remote for the TV, the remote for the DVD, 3 new diapers, a giant tub of cocoa butter, mommy's wallet (great, she figured out the zipper on the diaper bag), and my new 3x9 Partylite candle (great, she pulled out a dining room chair and got on the table).
Ugh. What have I gotten myself into?
But who doesn’t feel a slight lump of pride when 17month old claps and yells her approval at your amazing ability to not only wipe yourself, but also pull up your own pants?? And don’t we all deserve a victory dance when we flush the toilet???
After all- that has got to be magic!
__________________________________________________ _________
allright - fire away.