mookie2001
09-28-2005, 10:40 AM
by Chunklet
1,000 Unrelated Overrated Things
by the entire Chunklet staff
Daring rescue mission: Jessica Lynch
Paranormal experience: Past-life regression
New Age alternative medicine: Intestinal massage
Fashion trend: Low-cut waist gypsy belts
Institute of higher learning: Harvard
Wax museum: Madam Tussaud’s
Space campaign: Apollo
Religious cult: Scientology
Diet food: Celery sticks
Party: Costume
Cowboy: Kevin Costner
Game show host: Pat Sajak
Teen year: 16
Murderer: Charles Manson
Patriotic disaster: Challenger explosion
Porn title: Saving Ryan’s Privates
End to civilization: (tie) Fire and ice
Air conditioner setting: 72BC F
Tom Hanks movie: Forrest Gump
Statue: Statue of Liberty
Breakfast table item: Aunt Jemima maple syrup
Plastic surgery: Collagen lip injections
Firework: Sparkler
The Price Is Right game: The one with the mountain climber
Vegetable: Sweet corn niblets
Form of canine discipline: Hitting nose with newspaper
Symbol of the ‘60s: Peace sign
Punctuation symbol: Comma
Gag item: Alfred E. Neuman $3 bill
Jane Fonda reference: (tie) Fuckin’ Vietnam and Barbarella
‘90s sitcom: Seinfeld
Medieval form of protection: Moat
Cast member on Gilligan’s Island: Gilligan
Decadent purchase: Jukebox in the bathroom
Football commentator: John Madden
Form of aerial transportation: Blimp
Prison gag: Dropping the soap in the shower
Monty Python gag: The Holy Hand Grenade
Brady: Marsha
Bogus law: “Do not remove this tag”
Cartoon-like spokesperson: Kool Aid’s “Oh yeah!” pitcher
Talk-show sidekick: Ed McMahon
Lazy Saturday afternoon activity: Cuddling in a hammock
All-female porn concept: Women in prison
Wordplay on “History”: Kisstory
Import: All the tea in China
Yogurt: Go-Gurt
Condiment: Ketchup
European sport: Soccer
War: World War II
Mud flap: Keep on Truckin’
Yearbook title: The Carousel
Simpsons character: Bart
No-wave band: Television
Pillsbury character: The Doughboy
Chappy’s Deli slogan: “Just one bite will set you free”
Smoothie: Mr. Mongo at Planet Smoothie
Thing for a parent to be proud of: Honor student
Bum sign: “I’m not gonna lie to you, I just want a beer”
Planet of the Apes movie: Escape From The...
Form of humiliation: Peeing in your pants
Edgy prank: Videotaping strangers in the toilet
Watering hole pastime: Sexual harassment
Chronicle Books release: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Guide
Revolutions per minute: 33 1/3
Pickup truck: Dodge Ram
Giant moth: Mothra
March: Million Man
Zipper: YKK
Drug magazine: High Times
Internal organ: Cloaca
Dead clown: Emmett Kelly
Mime: Marcel Marceau
20th century decor: ‘60s Tiki/lounge
Grooming activity: Filing your fingernails
Late-night drinking activity: Vomiting in a friend’s car
Chevy Chase movie: National Lampoon’s Vacation
Children’s television host: Mister Rogers
Article in this issue of Chunklet: Overrated record survey
Fashion designer: Christian Dior
Frozen Mexican treat: Choco Taco
Trip: Moses leading his people out of Egypt
Dead porn star: John Holmes
Death in their own vomit: Jimi Hendrix
Secret queer person: David Hyde Pierce
Action hero: Jean-Claude Van Damme
Comic book character: Harvey Pekar
Ancient structure: Pyramids of Giza
Song on Bob Seger’s Like A Rock album: “Like A Rock”
Visible element in your stool: (tie) Corn and peanuts
Legendary baseball teasm: The 1969 Mets
Character on Kids in the Hall: The “I’m Crushing Your Head” guy
Sonic Youth associate: Lydia Lunch
Sexual preference: Hetero
Christmas gift-giving technique: The Secret Santa game
John Hughes movie: The Breakfast Club
Cult movie: Rocky Horror Picture Show
Protection from a stalker tactic: Restraining order
Member of Fugazi: Ian MacKaye
Piece of chicken: Breast
Living porn star: Ron Jeremy
Contemporary artist: Jeff Koons
Hipster store: Urban Outfitters
Goth fetish: Drinking blood
Cannibal: Jeffrey Dahmer
Rock club: CBGB
Place to ejaculate: Tits
Political scandal: Watergate
Caliber: .38
Trench: Marianas
Page number: 3
Breakfast cereal: Frosted Mini-Wheats
Silent film star: Rudolph Valentino
Hideously deformed person: John Merrick
Source of band names: Any movie reference
Contemporary slang word: Blog
High-end alcoholic beverage: Cristal
1960s racial protest: March on Selma, Alabama
Ronco product: Ginsu knife
Movie villain: Hannibal Lechter
Sex symbol: Pamela Anderson
Gay reality television show: Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
Lame-ass rockabilly haircut: The pomp
Froofy chick drink: Sex on The Beach
Indie director: Vincent Gallo
Key-chain do-dad: Rabbit’s foot
Freeze-dried pet: Sea monkey
Jihad: Salman Rushdie
Breed of dog: Jack Russell terrier
Druid structure: Stonehenge
Irish icon: Leprechaun
Continent: Europe
Halo of Flies single: Rubber Room
Hot Hollywood actor: Orlando Bloom
Contemporary artist: Matthew Barney
Use of sesame seeds: Hamburger buns
Time: Quittin’ time
Solstice: Summer
Early ‘90s poster artist: Coop
Fantagraphics cartoonist: Chris Ware
Spice: Paprika
Spice Girl: Posh
Picnic food: Deviled eggs
Club drug: GHB
Mixer: Orange juice
Film festival: Cannes
Dead poet: Jack Kerouac
BBC Channel: 1
Homonym: Whole/Hole
Animal actor: Spuds McKenzie
Emotion: Melancholy
Guitar String: E
Reptile: Amphetamine
Igneous rock: Granite
American landmark: Mount Rushmore
Music format: Compact disc
Speaker manufacturer: Bose
Flip Wilson character: Geraldine
Rose: Yellow Rose of Texas
Jewish symbol: Star of David
Letterpress shop: Hatch Show Print
Regional video format: NTSC
Macromedia program: Dreamweaver
Big Mac ingredient: Special Sauce
Vanilla flavor: French
Mohawk: Mr. T
Novelty pet: Chia
Circus: Ringling Brothers
Sugar substitute: Equal
F-stop: 5
Talk show host: Oprah
Serial killer: Ed Gein
Children’s book: Goodnight Moon
Ethnic food: Chinese Sweet-n-Sour
Time zone: Eastern
Herb for animals: Catnip
Animal narcotic: Ketamine
Diet craze: Atkins
Flavor of Jell-o: Orange
Chapter in the Bible: Genesis
World religion: Christianity
Third World ethnic food: Taramosalata
Marilyn Monroe movie: Some Like It Hot
Art movement: Abstract Post-War Expressionism
Urban Outfitters purchase: The butterfly chair
Part of Rocket From The Crypt: The horn section
New Zealander: Peter Jackson
Homophobic gay basher: Fred Durst
Reason not to finish a Dutch Baby at the Original Pancake House: Getting sick
Plastic surgery chin implant: Reese Witherspoon
Kid Michael Jackson fucked in the butt: Macaulay Culkin
Euphemism for a bong: Water pipe
‘90s-era SNL cast member: Rob Schneider
European currency: Swedish kronor
Vanity endeavor for hip-hop artists: Designing their own sneakers
Term for feminists: Wymyn
Twins: Barbie
Power broker: Donald Trump
Vitamin: K
Gypsy shtick: Palm reading
“Smells Like Teen Spirit” rip-off: The ‘jam’ in the beginning scene of ‘90s comedy flick PCU
Dorm room poster: “Enter At Your Own Risk”
Body piercing: Belly button
Term for a female dog: Bitch
Magician: David Blaine
McKenzie: McKenzie Phillips
Bicentennial: America’s Spirit of ‘76
Vegetarian “excuse”: Meat Is Murder
Toupee: David Spade’s
Abbreviation: abbr.
Marriage compromise: (tie) Hyphenation of bride’s surname and divorce
Reason not to hug your grandmother: She smells like old, used diapers
Year in James Brown’s career: 1969
Hostage: Patty Hearst
Season of Buffy: Second
Beatle: Paul McCartney
Atari 2600 video cartridge: Asteroids
Thomas Pynchon book: The Crying of Lot 49
Sports announcer: Studs Terkel
Breakdance move: The Windmill
Elvis Costello song: “Pump It Up”
Ceiling fan speed: High
Sense: Taste
Finger: Index
Season: Summer
Hipster perfume: Toga
Razor: Mach Three
Male sexual fantasy: Threesome
Element of spaghetti westerns: Tumbleweed
Breakfast cereal cartoon character: Cap’n Crunch
Annoying backyard pool dive: The Cannonball
Latino gang fashion: Having the top button buttoned on a short-sleeve button-down shirt
Circus sideshow attraction: Siamese twins
Member of Thin Lizzy: Phil Lynott
Postponement: “I haven’t found myself yet.”
Rumor-that’s-really-not-a-rumor about George Clinton: He smokes crack
Foreign exchange student: That one dude from Kenya
Courtney Love conspiracy theory: That she actually has talent
Slang term for being fired: Shitcanned
Form of electrocution: Sticking your finger in the socket
Gene Hackman movie: The French Connection
Comparison analogy: Apples to oranges
‘60s graphic icon: Peace symbol
“Director’s Cut” ending: Blade Runner
Remake of a foreign film: Vanilla Sky
Use of cardboard: Spending hours constructing a table out of three iMac boxes
Pancakes at IHOP: Polynesian
Recording studio tool: Computer
Soft drink ploy: Clear anything
Hour in primetime: 8 to 9 p.m.
Street name: Main
Horror author: Dean Koontz
Cigarette: Camel Lights
Afro styling: High fade
Thing to reenact: The U.S. Civil War
Bait-and-switch: The “mystery” box
Ex-Spiegel model: Matthew Barney
Rock band manager: Peter Grant
Stain on Andrew WK’s T-shirt: Shit brown smudge in left pectoral zone
Pro Tools plug-in: Aphex Big Bottom Pro
Term for marijuana: Kind bud (a.k.a. “KB”)
Mideastern conflict: Israel vs. Palestine
Member of Tenacious D: Jack Black
Long-standing songwriter: Randy Newman
George Carlin skit: “The Seven Dirty Words You Can’t Say on Television”
Flashback: The one right before you die
Method of suicide: Autoerotic asphyxiation
Word that starts with the letter “N”: The “N-word”
Mid-life hairstyle: The comb-over
Cell phone service: Virgin mobile
Issue of Chunklet: #15, The Asshole Issue
Gerry Anderson marionette show: Thunderbirds
Women exploitation restaurant: Hooters
Sexually transmitted disease: HIV
Perversion: Peeping Tom
Type of brassiere: Wonder Bra
Form of ice: Crushed
Opiate: Heroin
Chocolate: Truffle
Hippie pet: The ferret
Plague: Bubonic
Party favor: Kazoo
Diaper: Plastic
Single malt whiskey: Jack Daniels
1960s cult television show: The Prisoner
Late ‘90s garage rock band: Electric Frankenstein
Member of Public Enemy: Chuck D
Ad campaign: The ineffectual truth.com anti-smoking ads
Hollywood movie practice: Making sequels
Slang for a motorcycle: Crotch Rocket
Name for a gay couple’s pet: Jazz
Pet name for a frat boy: (3-way tie) Guinness, Bud and Hoss
Tropical fruit: Mango
Fictional item that dogs chase: Chuck wagon
Howard Stern sidekick: Stuttering John
Herb: Ginseng
Cast member of 21 Jump Street: Richard Grieco
“Friendly” nickname from a shop teacher who can’t remember your name: Boss
Yard chore: Raking the leaves
Blooper overdub: “Boing!”
Angus Young stage get-up that’s not the schoolboy one: Zorro outfit
Pre-Butthole Surfers Butthole Surfers band name: Dick Gas Five
Space on Hollywood Squares: The center square to block
State beneath the Mason-Dixon line: Florida
Surprise: Flamingo-a-Friend in your front lawn
Beneficial insect: Ladybug
“How to”: Our Bodies, Our Selves
Dessert: Cr8Fme br9El8Ee
Table manner: Saying “please”
Unused space in a U-Haul truck: Grandma’s Attic
Item in Grandma’s Attic: Her love letters
Explorer: Columbus
Brand of pancake mix: Bisquick
Constellation visible in nighttime sky: Orion
Indicator of future success: Test scores
Trendy parking lot etiquette: Reserved spaces for expectant mothers
Abuse of personal freedom: Acting like a jerk
Fast food moniker: “Biggie”
Waffle House hashbrown tier in the Scattered, Smothered, etc. line-up: “Chunked”
Suffix: -est
Additive: MSG
Mythical hybrid: Griffin
Succulent cactus: Yucca
Arcane ritual: Marriage
Secret society: Freemasons
Ground cover: Shore juniper
Adhesive: Crazy Glue
Dead lesbian poet: Sappho
Planned resort community: Seaside
Way of death: In your sleep
Brand of ice cream: Ben & Jerry’s
Missing person: Amelia Earhart
Nazi believed to have fled to South America: Goebbels
Nobel Prize winner: Pearl S. Buck
Expression when saying goodbye: “Take it easy”
Dead lesbian hostess: Gertrude Stein
Delivery service: United States Postal Service
Local news feature: Kid stuck down a well
Drunk-at-a-bar pastime: Watching women fight
Fictitious mixed drink: Roofie colada
Required high school reading assignment: The Great Gatsby
Marlon Brando movie: The Godfather
‘70s AOR artist: Steely Dan
In-city ethnic locale: Chinatown
Saturday morning cartoon: 6 a.m. farm report
Washed up 4-letter 1980s rock band: Styx
Hollywood “yukster”: Andy Dick
Hope/Crosby “Road” movie: The Road to Hong Kong
Dairy Queen menu item: Blizzard
First lady: Jackie Kennedy
Smell in a pillow: Fart
Contest: Project Greenlight
Autopsy: Orson Welles’
Hors d’oeuvre: Crudit8Es
Sex toy: Ben Wa balls
Man: Dr. Phil
Rapper: 50 Cent
NASCAR number: 3
Sitarist: Ravi Shankar
Shoe collection: Imelda Marcos
African country: Kenya
Campbell’s soup: Chicken Noodle
New York crime family: Gambino
British form of transit: Double-decker bus
Childhood prank: Taking a dump in somebody’s shoes
Happy Days cast member: Scott Baio
Method of departing New York City: Holland Tunnel
Lame-o Atlanta scene created as an excuse to do coke, get shitty tattoos, play cowbilly and spin David Allan Coe records:
The Redneck Underground
Energy drink: (tie) Rush! and Pimp Juice
Symptom of urinary tract infection: Visible amount of blood in urine
Member of the Taliban: John Walker Lindh
Tiresome filler part of weekly shit rags: “News of the Weird”-type bullshit
Children’s character who is a dog: Clifford
Boohoo tale of harsh working conditions: The Jungle by Upton Sinclair
Reason for not having sex: “Not tonight, I’m bleeding”
Gateway conspiracy book: Future by Alvin Toffle
Novel based on the premise that God will help you through female puberty: ”Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret”
Christmas record: Boogie Woogie Christmas by Brian Setzer
Excuse for death: (tie) Natural causes and old age
Non-fictional racehorse name: Seabiscuit
Butt of blue-collar jokes: A Hooters waitress
Hanna-Barbera sidekick: Morocco Mole (Secret Squirrel)
Reason to exercise: (tie) Staying thin and preventing cancer
Reason to get a divorce: Abusive husband
Time to get an abortion: First trimester
Portion of the procedure of getting a gun: The background check
Member of Simon and Garfunkel: Paul Simon
Tennessee Williams play: Cat On a Hot Tin Roof
Russian violinist: Jascha Heifetz
Hotel perk: The continental breakfast
Religious hat: The Pope’s miter
Part of being a Muslim: The pilgrimages
Book on Taoism: Tao Te Ching
Feature of quantity: Quality
Feature of quality: Quantity
Jugs: Carmen Electra
Toupee: Bono
Penis: Tommy Lee
Nazi war criminal: Hermann G9Aring
Lens to use in a rap video: Fish eye
Food group not to eat: Meat
Foot fashion: Not wearing socks
Beat-era boy molester: Allen Ginsberg
Donna to feel up: Donna C
Way for a celebrity to have a child: Adopt them from a poor Asian country
Word used to describe what someone does with cancer: Battle
Accidental break-dancer: Michael J. Fox
Term used to describe increasing security: “Beef up”
Thing to recycle: Aluminum cans
Baseball-loving nation: Cuba
Book on the shelf of a 30-plus losing-touch Americana-listening-sap: Woody Guthrie’s Bound for Glory
Female star of a Russ Meyer film: Tura Satana
Vietnam War-era physical tragedy agent or ailment with a name containing a color and which is used to name punk
bands: (tie) Agent Orange and Gangrene
Show that you once videotaped religiously: The X-Files
Word that comes up in describing early Bowie: Androgynous
Atomic disaster: Chernobyl
Part of Southern Confederate flag-waving culture: (tie) Ignorance and Stupidity
Art form: Performance art
Easy-ass target for a terrorist to attack: An embassy in their country of origin
Dead reggae artist: Peter Tosh
Street in New Orleans: Bourbon
Way to convey someone going on and on about something: Da, da, da, dum
Rockstar behavior: (tie) Shooting heroin and killing yourself
Profession after you failed at what you really wanted to do: Teach college
Place to dump a dead body in Atlanta: Chattahoochee River
Body adornment for a 40-plus-year-old guy in the music business to have: Single earring in the left ear
Death mourned by gay men: Princess Di
Film to make old people feel that the fact that they can’t fuck any more and will soon die ain’t really that bad: (tie) Cocoon
and On Golden Pond
Piano movie: Shine
Fashion magazine: Flaunt
Food group: Dairy and eggs
Cleaning tool: The Swiffer
Foucaultian acolyte: Naomi Wolf
Nefertiti revisionist: Camille Paglia
Gap between teeth: Lauren Hutton
National music scene: New Zealand
Way to die in Bangladesh: Cyclone
Tired L.A. music couple dynasty: Aimee Mann/Michael Penn
Genre term used to describe records that Irwin Chusid likes: Esoterica
Part of Barbara Streisand’s body to have your crotch rubbed by: Nose
Logo using a guitar neck as part of the image: Africa with a guitar neck design used for Live Aid
Way for British pussies to take out their frustration for the lack of ever having a decent meal: Football riots
Term used to rationalize genocide: Manifest Destiny
Failed attempt at morality control: Prohibition
Pre-1960 way for a white woman to divert attention from some stupid fucked-up thing she did: Lie and claim a young black
man raped her
Way to get 99X to play your record: Have (more) drugs and hookers sent to Jay Harren’s office
Description for your ass-ugly, nerdy, retro-looking girlfriend: “Classic beauty”
Thing to try to teach your retarded child: Bible verses
Type of music to play as a sports radio show bumper: Surf
Member of Love and Rockets: Daniel Ash
Drum playing grip: Matched
Thing pre-pubescent Jewish boys regularly beat off to: Norman Rockwell Saturday Evening Post prints
Anorexic: (tie) Karen Carpenter and Gandhi
Trailer park family activity: (three-way tie) Sex abuse, physical abuse and saying grace before dinner
Facial movement made by Lynyrd Skynyrd members before crashing in Mississippi: Opening their eyes really wide
Sax player: Clarence Clemons
Way for a girl band to divert attention from their obvious lack of talent: Being pretty
Week in New York: Fashion week
Extracurricular hobby for famous poets: Alcoholism
Blue Blockers glasses wearer: Jeff Lynne
Space dog: Laika
Contradiction imposed by consumerism and revolution: Having an S22 t-shirt with Ernesto “Che” Guevara on it
Free speech student leader: Mario Savio
Ritual that Satanists are too pussy to really do: Sacrificing babies
San Francisco promoter: Bill Graham
Kennedy assassination: JFK
Hippie activity: (tie) Not bathing and face painting
Robyn Hitchcock song: “Balloon Man”
Metaphorical war/survival hobby for sexually repressed men with IQs under 100: Deer hunting
Metaphorical war/survival hobby for sexually repressed men with IQs between 100 and 105: Paintball
Television programming for married men to secretly fag out to: Professional wrestling
Unfathomably profitable capitalization on fatal student shootings: (tie) Michael Moore’s Bowling For Columbine and
Buffalo Springfield’s ‘Ohio’
Produce boycotted on large scale by the influence of C8Esar Chavez: Lettuce
Temple used as a backdrop in action movies: Angkor Wat
American cult: The Mormons
Singer of all time: Frank Sinatra
Gospel singer: Mahalia Jackson
Chess champion: Bobby Fischer
Subtext that is merely a bi-product of war: The Olympics
Underground militant flag logo: Symbionese Liberation Army cobra
Defection: Mikhail Baryshnikov
Celebratory maneuver for neckless college thugs and braindead assistant coaches to do after a big victory: Pour
Gatorade on the head coach
AIDS victim: Liberace
Technique Americans use to get a tight grip on the title of being the fattest nation in the world: Eating fast food
Way to waste the money your parents spent on your college education: Start a rock band
Area of New York to show the haphazard, played-out, uninspired shit stains you call art: Soho
Classical guitar virtuoso: Andres Segovia
Place to write your memoirs: Prison
Beatles’ album artwork: Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band
Manfred Mann song: “The Mighty Quinn”
Music documentary: (tie) D. A. Pennebaker’s Don’t Look Back and David Maysles’ Gimme Shelter
‘70s cult film: Harold and Maude
All-girl punk band that’s really not an all-girl punk band: X-Ray Spex
School to get a design degree: Parsons
Clown: (tie) Bozo and Shakes
College football coach: “Bear” Bryant
Post-adolescent diarist: Anne Frank
Performance artist: Karen Finley
Figurative artist feminist: Kiki Smith
Zephyr: Hindenburg
19th Century confectioner: Little Debbie
Midwestern murderess: Lizzie Borden
Metaphysical Oscar quack: Shirley MacLaine
Flash-in-the-pan TV clairvoyant: Miss Cleo
Sentence used in a movie pitch session to a major Hollywood executive: “It practically writes itself”
Memorial in Washington, DC: Vietnam Veterans Memorial
Silent Western film star: Tom Mix
Chunklet column that is no longer part of the magazine (thank God): Noser Knows
Dario Argento film: Suspiria
Italian prog soundtrack band: Goblin
City that John Waters champions: Baltimore
Poet: (four-way tie) William Blake, Rainer Maria Rilke, Sylvia Plath and John Keats
Song of all-time: “Cheeseburger In Paradise” by Jimmy Buffett
Fat-assed black TV talk show host: Star Jones
Writing invention in the last 25 years: The EraserMate
Microphone sound: Rush Limbaugh “Golden” E.I.B.
Record liner note author: David Fricke
Synth of the last ten years: The Nord Lean
Zaireeka listening party sub-theme: Botox injection
Sax solo: President Bill Clinton on Arsenio Hall
Kangaroo performance: (tie) The cgi’ed one in Kangaroo Jack and Ice-T in Tank Girl
Group of the psychedelic era: The Moody Blues
Item at Andy Baker’s home studio: Manley Vox Box pre-amp
Edible yougurt add-on: Sprinkles
Race of the last 5,000 years: Caucasian
Race of the last 20 years: Black
Performance art piece: Sleeping
Cereal: Frosted Mini Wheats
Thing to eat on a video shoot: an everything bagel
Show on NPR: This American Life
Thing about Thurston Moore: (tie) Being in Sonic Youth and collecting records
Television prank show: Punk’d
Celebrity soon to be Alice Cooper’s golfing partner: Marilyn Manson
Film that tricks you into believing that Anton Newcombe has a shred of credibility: Dig
Dead black man: Tupac Shakur
Way to present yourself in a Spin contributor photo: Flattering
Future activity for terrorists: Killing/torturing celebrities of the Tiger Woods caliber
BOLD I would NOT agree
1,000 Unrelated Overrated Things
by the entire Chunklet staff
Daring rescue mission: Jessica Lynch
Paranormal experience: Past-life regression
New Age alternative medicine: Intestinal massage
Fashion trend: Low-cut waist gypsy belts
Institute of higher learning: Harvard
Wax museum: Madam Tussaud’s
Space campaign: Apollo
Religious cult: Scientology
Diet food: Celery sticks
Party: Costume
Cowboy: Kevin Costner
Game show host: Pat Sajak
Teen year: 16
Murderer: Charles Manson
Patriotic disaster: Challenger explosion
Porn title: Saving Ryan’s Privates
End to civilization: (tie) Fire and ice
Air conditioner setting: 72BC F
Tom Hanks movie: Forrest Gump
Statue: Statue of Liberty
Breakfast table item: Aunt Jemima maple syrup
Plastic surgery: Collagen lip injections
Firework: Sparkler
The Price Is Right game: The one with the mountain climber
Vegetable: Sweet corn niblets
Form of canine discipline: Hitting nose with newspaper
Symbol of the ‘60s: Peace sign
Punctuation symbol: Comma
Gag item: Alfred E. Neuman $3 bill
Jane Fonda reference: (tie) Fuckin’ Vietnam and Barbarella
‘90s sitcom: Seinfeld
Medieval form of protection: Moat
Cast member on Gilligan’s Island: Gilligan
Decadent purchase: Jukebox in the bathroom
Football commentator: John Madden
Form of aerial transportation: Blimp
Prison gag: Dropping the soap in the shower
Monty Python gag: The Holy Hand Grenade
Brady: Marsha
Bogus law: “Do not remove this tag”
Cartoon-like spokesperson: Kool Aid’s “Oh yeah!” pitcher
Talk-show sidekick: Ed McMahon
Lazy Saturday afternoon activity: Cuddling in a hammock
All-female porn concept: Women in prison
Wordplay on “History”: Kisstory
Import: All the tea in China
Yogurt: Go-Gurt
Condiment: Ketchup
European sport: Soccer
War: World War II
Mud flap: Keep on Truckin’
Yearbook title: The Carousel
Simpsons character: Bart
No-wave band: Television
Pillsbury character: The Doughboy
Chappy’s Deli slogan: “Just one bite will set you free”
Smoothie: Mr. Mongo at Planet Smoothie
Thing for a parent to be proud of: Honor student
Bum sign: “I’m not gonna lie to you, I just want a beer”
Planet of the Apes movie: Escape From The...
Form of humiliation: Peeing in your pants
Edgy prank: Videotaping strangers in the toilet
Watering hole pastime: Sexual harassment
Chronicle Books release: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Guide
Revolutions per minute: 33 1/3
Pickup truck: Dodge Ram
Giant moth: Mothra
March: Million Man
Zipper: YKK
Drug magazine: High Times
Internal organ: Cloaca
Dead clown: Emmett Kelly
Mime: Marcel Marceau
20th century decor: ‘60s Tiki/lounge
Grooming activity: Filing your fingernails
Late-night drinking activity: Vomiting in a friend’s car
Chevy Chase movie: National Lampoon’s Vacation
Children’s television host: Mister Rogers
Article in this issue of Chunklet: Overrated record survey
Fashion designer: Christian Dior
Frozen Mexican treat: Choco Taco
Trip: Moses leading his people out of Egypt
Dead porn star: John Holmes
Death in their own vomit: Jimi Hendrix
Secret queer person: David Hyde Pierce
Action hero: Jean-Claude Van Damme
Comic book character: Harvey Pekar
Ancient structure: Pyramids of Giza
Song on Bob Seger’s Like A Rock album: “Like A Rock”
Visible element in your stool: (tie) Corn and peanuts
Legendary baseball teasm: The 1969 Mets
Character on Kids in the Hall: The “I’m Crushing Your Head” guy
Sonic Youth associate: Lydia Lunch
Sexual preference: Hetero
Christmas gift-giving technique: The Secret Santa game
John Hughes movie: The Breakfast Club
Cult movie: Rocky Horror Picture Show
Protection from a stalker tactic: Restraining order
Member of Fugazi: Ian MacKaye
Piece of chicken: Breast
Living porn star: Ron Jeremy
Contemporary artist: Jeff Koons
Hipster store: Urban Outfitters
Goth fetish: Drinking blood
Cannibal: Jeffrey Dahmer
Rock club: CBGB
Place to ejaculate: Tits
Political scandal: Watergate
Caliber: .38
Trench: Marianas
Page number: 3
Breakfast cereal: Frosted Mini-Wheats
Silent film star: Rudolph Valentino
Hideously deformed person: John Merrick
Source of band names: Any movie reference
Contemporary slang word: Blog
High-end alcoholic beverage: Cristal
1960s racial protest: March on Selma, Alabama
Ronco product: Ginsu knife
Movie villain: Hannibal Lechter
Sex symbol: Pamela Anderson
Gay reality television show: Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
Lame-ass rockabilly haircut: The pomp
Froofy chick drink: Sex on The Beach
Indie director: Vincent Gallo
Key-chain do-dad: Rabbit’s foot
Freeze-dried pet: Sea monkey
Jihad: Salman Rushdie
Breed of dog: Jack Russell terrier
Druid structure: Stonehenge
Irish icon: Leprechaun
Continent: Europe
Halo of Flies single: Rubber Room
Hot Hollywood actor: Orlando Bloom
Contemporary artist: Matthew Barney
Use of sesame seeds: Hamburger buns
Time: Quittin’ time
Solstice: Summer
Early ‘90s poster artist: Coop
Fantagraphics cartoonist: Chris Ware
Spice: Paprika
Spice Girl: Posh
Picnic food: Deviled eggs
Club drug: GHB
Mixer: Orange juice
Film festival: Cannes
Dead poet: Jack Kerouac
BBC Channel: 1
Homonym: Whole/Hole
Animal actor: Spuds McKenzie
Emotion: Melancholy
Guitar String: E
Reptile: Amphetamine
Igneous rock: Granite
American landmark: Mount Rushmore
Music format: Compact disc
Speaker manufacturer: Bose
Flip Wilson character: Geraldine
Rose: Yellow Rose of Texas
Jewish symbol: Star of David
Letterpress shop: Hatch Show Print
Regional video format: NTSC
Macromedia program: Dreamweaver
Big Mac ingredient: Special Sauce
Vanilla flavor: French
Mohawk: Mr. T
Novelty pet: Chia
Circus: Ringling Brothers
Sugar substitute: Equal
F-stop: 5
Talk show host: Oprah
Serial killer: Ed Gein
Children’s book: Goodnight Moon
Ethnic food: Chinese Sweet-n-Sour
Time zone: Eastern
Herb for animals: Catnip
Animal narcotic: Ketamine
Diet craze: Atkins
Flavor of Jell-o: Orange
Chapter in the Bible: Genesis
World religion: Christianity
Third World ethnic food: Taramosalata
Marilyn Monroe movie: Some Like It Hot
Art movement: Abstract Post-War Expressionism
Urban Outfitters purchase: The butterfly chair
Part of Rocket From The Crypt: The horn section
New Zealander: Peter Jackson
Homophobic gay basher: Fred Durst
Reason not to finish a Dutch Baby at the Original Pancake House: Getting sick
Plastic surgery chin implant: Reese Witherspoon
Kid Michael Jackson fucked in the butt: Macaulay Culkin
Euphemism for a bong: Water pipe
‘90s-era SNL cast member: Rob Schneider
European currency: Swedish kronor
Vanity endeavor for hip-hop artists: Designing their own sneakers
Term for feminists: Wymyn
Twins: Barbie
Power broker: Donald Trump
Vitamin: K
Gypsy shtick: Palm reading
“Smells Like Teen Spirit” rip-off: The ‘jam’ in the beginning scene of ‘90s comedy flick PCU
Dorm room poster: “Enter At Your Own Risk”
Body piercing: Belly button
Term for a female dog: Bitch
Magician: David Blaine
McKenzie: McKenzie Phillips
Bicentennial: America’s Spirit of ‘76
Vegetarian “excuse”: Meat Is Murder
Toupee: David Spade’s
Abbreviation: abbr.
Marriage compromise: (tie) Hyphenation of bride’s surname and divorce
Reason not to hug your grandmother: She smells like old, used diapers
Year in James Brown’s career: 1969
Hostage: Patty Hearst
Season of Buffy: Second
Beatle: Paul McCartney
Atari 2600 video cartridge: Asteroids
Thomas Pynchon book: The Crying of Lot 49
Sports announcer: Studs Terkel
Breakdance move: The Windmill
Elvis Costello song: “Pump It Up”
Ceiling fan speed: High
Sense: Taste
Finger: Index
Season: Summer
Hipster perfume: Toga
Razor: Mach Three
Male sexual fantasy: Threesome
Element of spaghetti westerns: Tumbleweed
Breakfast cereal cartoon character: Cap’n Crunch
Annoying backyard pool dive: The Cannonball
Latino gang fashion: Having the top button buttoned on a short-sleeve button-down shirt
Circus sideshow attraction: Siamese twins
Member of Thin Lizzy: Phil Lynott
Postponement: “I haven’t found myself yet.”
Rumor-that’s-really-not-a-rumor about George Clinton: He smokes crack
Foreign exchange student: That one dude from Kenya
Courtney Love conspiracy theory: That she actually has talent
Slang term for being fired: Shitcanned
Form of electrocution: Sticking your finger in the socket
Gene Hackman movie: The French Connection
Comparison analogy: Apples to oranges
‘60s graphic icon: Peace symbol
“Director’s Cut” ending: Blade Runner
Remake of a foreign film: Vanilla Sky
Use of cardboard: Spending hours constructing a table out of three iMac boxes
Pancakes at IHOP: Polynesian
Recording studio tool: Computer
Soft drink ploy: Clear anything
Hour in primetime: 8 to 9 p.m.
Street name: Main
Horror author: Dean Koontz
Cigarette: Camel Lights
Afro styling: High fade
Thing to reenact: The U.S. Civil War
Bait-and-switch: The “mystery” box
Ex-Spiegel model: Matthew Barney
Rock band manager: Peter Grant
Stain on Andrew WK’s T-shirt: Shit brown smudge in left pectoral zone
Pro Tools plug-in: Aphex Big Bottom Pro
Term for marijuana: Kind bud (a.k.a. “KB”)
Mideastern conflict: Israel vs. Palestine
Member of Tenacious D: Jack Black
Long-standing songwriter: Randy Newman
George Carlin skit: “The Seven Dirty Words You Can’t Say on Television”
Flashback: The one right before you die
Method of suicide: Autoerotic asphyxiation
Word that starts with the letter “N”: The “N-word”
Mid-life hairstyle: The comb-over
Cell phone service: Virgin mobile
Issue of Chunklet: #15, The Asshole Issue
Gerry Anderson marionette show: Thunderbirds
Women exploitation restaurant: Hooters
Sexually transmitted disease: HIV
Perversion: Peeping Tom
Type of brassiere: Wonder Bra
Form of ice: Crushed
Opiate: Heroin
Chocolate: Truffle
Hippie pet: The ferret
Plague: Bubonic
Party favor: Kazoo
Diaper: Plastic
Single malt whiskey: Jack Daniels
1960s cult television show: The Prisoner
Late ‘90s garage rock band: Electric Frankenstein
Member of Public Enemy: Chuck D
Ad campaign: The ineffectual truth.com anti-smoking ads
Hollywood movie practice: Making sequels
Slang for a motorcycle: Crotch Rocket
Name for a gay couple’s pet: Jazz
Pet name for a frat boy: (3-way tie) Guinness, Bud and Hoss
Tropical fruit: Mango
Fictional item that dogs chase: Chuck wagon
Howard Stern sidekick: Stuttering John
Herb: Ginseng
Cast member of 21 Jump Street: Richard Grieco
“Friendly” nickname from a shop teacher who can’t remember your name: Boss
Yard chore: Raking the leaves
Blooper overdub: “Boing!”
Angus Young stage get-up that’s not the schoolboy one: Zorro outfit
Pre-Butthole Surfers Butthole Surfers band name: Dick Gas Five
Space on Hollywood Squares: The center square to block
State beneath the Mason-Dixon line: Florida
Surprise: Flamingo-a-Friend in your front lawn
Beneficial insect: Ladybug
“How to”: Our Bodies, Our Selves
Dessert: Cr8Fme br9El8Ee
Table manner: Saying “please”
Unused space in a U-Haul truck: Grandma’s Attic
Item in Grandma’s Attic: Her love letters
Explorer: Columbus
Brand of pancake mix: Bisquick
Constellation visible in nighttime sky: Orion
Indicator of future success: Test scores
Trendy parking lot etiquette: Reserved spaces for expectant mothers
Abuse of personal freedom: Acting like a jerk
Fast food moniker: “Biggie”
Waffle House hashbrown tier in the Scattered, Smothered, etc. line-up: “Chunked”
Suffix: -est
Additive: MSG
Mythical hybrid: Griffin
Succulent cactus: Yucca
Arcane ritual: Marriage
Secret society: Freemasons
Ground cover: Shore juniper
Adhesive: Crazy Glue
Dead lesbian poet: Sappho
Planned resort community: Seaside
Way of death: In your sleep
Brand of ice cream: Ben & Jerry’s
Missing person: Amelia Earhart
Nazi believed to have fled to South America: Goebbels
Nobel Prize winner: Pearl S. Buck
Expression when saying goodbye: “Take it easy”
Dead lesbian hostess: Gertrude Stein
Delivery service: United States Postal Service
Local news feature: Kid stuck down a well
Drunk-at-a-bar pastime: Watching women fight
Fictitious mixed drink: Roofie colada
Required high school reading assignment: The Great Gatsby
Marlon Brando movie: The Godfather
‘70s AOR artist: Steely Dan
In-city ethnic locale: Chinatown
Saturday morning cartoon: 6 a.m. farm report
Washed up 4-letter 1980s rock band: Styx
Hollywood “yukster”: Andy Dick
Hope/Crosby “Road” movie: The Road to Hong Kong
Dairy Queen menu item: Blizzard
First lady: Jackie Kennedy
Smell in a pillow: Fart
Contest: Project Greenlight
Autopsy: Orson Welles’
Hors d’oeuvre: Crudit8Es
Sex toy: Ben Wa balls
Man: Dr. Phil
Rapper: 50 Cent
NASCAR number: 3
Sitarist: Ravi Shankar
Shoe collection: Imelda Marcos
African country: Kenya
Campbell’s soup: Chicken Noodle
New York crime family: Gambino
British form of transit: Double-decker bus
Childhood prank: Taking a dump in somebody’s shoes
Happy Days cast member: Scott Baio
Method of departing New York City: Holland Tunnel
Lame-o Atlanta scene created as an excuse to do coke, get shitty tattoos, play cowbilly and spin David Allan Coe records:
The Redneck Underground
Energy drink: (tie) Rush! and Pimp Juice
Symptom of urinary tract infection: Visible amount of blood in urine
Member of the Taliban: John Walker Lindh
Tiresome filler part of weekly shit rags: “News of the Weird”-type bullshit
Children’s character who is a dog: Clifford
Boohoo tale of harsh working conditions: The Jungle by Upton Sinclair
Reason for not having sex: “Not tonight, I’m bleeding”
Gateway conspiracy book: Future by Alvin Toffle
Novel based on the premise that God will help you through female puberty: ”Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret”
Christmas record: Boogie Woogie Christmas by Brian Setzer
Excuse for death: (tie) Natural causes and old age
Non-fictional racehorse name: Seabiscuit
Butt of blue-collar jokes: A Hooters waitress
Hanna-Barbera sidekick: Morocco Mole (Secret Squirrel)
Reason to exercise: (tie) Staying thin and preventing cancer
Reason to get a divorce: Abusive husband
Time to get an abortion: First trimester
Portion of the procedure of getting a gun: The background check
Member of Simon and Garfunkel: Paul Simon
Tennessee Williams play: Cat On a Hot Tin Roof
Russian violinist: Jascha Heifetz
Hotel perk: The continental breakfast
Religious hat: The Pope’s miter
Part of being a Muslim: The pilgrimages
Book on Taoism: Tao Te Ching
Feature of quantity: Quality
Feature of quality: Quantity
Jugs: Carmen Electra
Toupee: Bono
Penis: Tommy Lee
Nazi war criminal: Hermann G9Aring
Lens to use in a rap video: Fish eye
Food group not to eat: Meat
Foot fashion: Not wearing socks
Beat-era boy molester: Allen Ginsberg
Donna to feel up: Donna C
Way for a celebrity to have a child: Adopt them from a poor Asian country
Word used to describe what someone does with cancer: Battle
Accidental break-dancer: Michael J. Fox
Term used to describe increasing security: “Beef up”
Thing to recycle: Aluminum cans
Baseball-loving nation: Cuba
Book on the shelf of a 30-plus losing-touch Americana-listening-sap: Woody Guthrie’s Bound for Glory
Female star of a Russ Meyer film: Tura Satana
Vietnam War-era physical tragedy agent or ailment with a name containing a color and which is used to name punk
bands: (tie) Agent Orange and Gangrene
Show that you once videotaped religiously: The X-Files
Word that comes up in describing early Bowie: Androgynous
Atomic disaster: Chernobyl
Part of Southern Confederate flag-waving culture: (tie) Ignorance and Stupidity
Art form: Performance art
Easy-ass target for a terrorist to attack: An embassy in their country of origin
Dead reggae artist: Peter Tosh
Street in New Orleans: Bourbon
Way to convey someone going on and on about something: Da, da, da, dum
Rockstar behavior: (tie) Shooting heroin and killing yourself
Profession after you failed at what you really wanted to do: Teach college
Place to dump a dead body in Atlanta: Chattahoochee River
Body adornment for a 40-plus-year-old guy in the music business to have: Single earring in the left ear
Death mourned by gay men: Princess Di
Film to make old people feel that the fact that they can’t fuck any more and will soon die ain’t really that bad: (tie) Cocoon
and On Golden Pond
Piano movie: Shine
Fashion magazine: Flaunt
Food group: Dairy and eggs
Cleaning tool: The Swiffer
Foucaultian acolyte: Naomi Wolf
Nefertiti revisionist: Camille Paglia
Gap between teeth: Lauren Hutton
National music scene: New Zealand
Way to die in Bangladesh: Cyclone
Tired L.A. music couple dynasty: Aimee Mann/Michael Penn
Genre term used to describe records that Irwin Chusid likes: Esoterica
Part of Barbara Streisand’s body to have your crotch rubbed by: Nose
Logo using a guitar neck as part of the image: Africa with a guitar neck design used for Live Aid
Way for British pussies to take out their frustration for the lack of ever having a decent meal: Football riots
Term used to rationalize genocide: Manifest Destiny
Failed attempt at morality control: Prohibition
Pre-1960 way for a white woman to divert attention from some stupid fucked-up thing she did: Lie and claim a young black
man raped her
Way to get 99X to play your record: Have (more) drugs and hookers sent to Jay Harren’s office
Description for your ass-ugly, nerdy, retro-looking girlfriend: “Classic beauty”
Thing to try to teach your retarded child: Bible verses
Type of music to play as a sports radio show bumper: Surf
Member of Love and Rockets: Daniel Ash
Drum playing grip: Matched
Thing pre-pubescent Jewish boys regularly beat off to: Norman Rockwell Saturday Evening Post prints
Anorexic: (tie) Karen Carpenter and Gandhi
Trailer park family activity: (three-way tie) Sex abuse, physical abuse and saying grace before dinner
Facial movement made by Lynyrd Skynyrd members before crashing in Mississippi: Opening their eyes really wide
Sax player: Clarence Clemons
Way for a girl band to divert attention from their obvious lack of talent: Being pretty
Week in New York: Fashion week
Extracurricular hobby for famous poets: Alcoholism
Blue Blockers glasses wearer: Jeff Lynne
Space dog: Laika
Contradiction imposed by consumerism and revolution: Having an S22 t-shirt with Ernesto “Che” Guevara on it
Free speech student leader: Mario Savio
Ritual that Satanists are too pussy to really do: Sacrificing babies
San Francisco promoter: Bill Graham
Kennedy assassination: JFK
Hippie activity: (tie) Not bathing and face painting
Robyn Hitchcock song: “Balloon Man”
Metaphorical war/survival hobby for sexually repressed men with IQs under 100: Deer hunting
Metaphorical war/survival hobby for sexually repressed men with IQs between 100 and 105: Paintball
Television programming for married men to secretly fag out to: Professional wrestling
Unfathomably profitable capitalization on fatal student shootings: (tie) Michael Moore’s Bowling For Columbine and
Buffalo Springfield’s ‘Ohio’
Produce boycotted on large scale by the influence of C8Esar Chavez: Lettuce
Temple used as a backdrop in action movies: Angkor Wat
American cult: The Mormons
Singer of all time: Frank Sinatra
Gospel singer: Mahalia Jackson
Chess champion: Bobby Fischer
Subtext that is merely a bi-product of war: The Olympics
Underground militant flag logo: Symbionese Liberation Army cobra
Defection: Mikhail Baryshnikov
Celebratory maneuver for neckless college thugs and braindead assistant coaches to do after a big victory: Pour
Gatorade on the head coach
AIDS victim: Liberace
Technique Americans use to get a tight grip on the title of being the fattest nation in the world: Eating fast food
Way to waste the money your parents spent on your college education: Start a rock band
Area of New York to show the haphazard, played-out, uninspired shit stains you call art: Soho
Classical guitar virtuoso: Andres Segovia
Place to write your memoirs: Prison
Beatles’ album artwork: Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band
Manfred Mann song: “The Mighty Quinn”
Music documentary: (tie) D. A. Pennebaker’s Don’t Look Back and David Maysles’ Gimme Shelter
‘70s cult film: Harold and Maude
All-girl punk band that’s really not an all-girl punk band: X-Ray Spex
School to get a design degree: Parsons
Clown: (tie) Bozo and Shakes
College football coach: “Bear” Bryant
Post-adolescent diarist: Anne Frank
Performance artist: Karen Finley
Figurative artist feminist: Kiki Smith
Zephyr: Hindenburg
19th Century confectioner: Little Debbie
Midwestern murderess: Lizzie Borden
Metaphysical Oscar quack: Shirley MacLaine
Flash-in-the-pan TV clairvoyant: Miss Cleo
Sentence used in a movie pitch session to a major Hollywood executive: “It practically writes itself”
Memorial in Washington, DC: Vietnam Veterans Memorial
Silent Western film star: Tom Mix
Chunklet column that is no longer part of the magazine (thank God): Noser Knows
Dario Argento film: Suspiria
Italian prog soundtrack band: Goblin
City that John Waters champions: Baltimore
Poet: (four-way tie) William Blake, Rainer Maria Rilke, Sylvia Plath and John Keats
Song of all-time: “Cheeseburger In Paradise” by Jimmy Buffett
Fat-assed black TV talk show host: Star Jones
Writing invention in the last 25 years: The EraserMate
Microphone sound: Rush Limbaugh “Golden” E.I.B.
Record liner note author: David Fricke
Synth of the last ten years: The Nord Lean
Zaireeka listening party sub-theme: Botox injection
Sax solo: President Bill Clinton on Arsenio Hall
Kangaroo performance: (tie) The cgi’ed one in Kangaroo Jack and Ice-T in Tank Girl
Group of the psychedelic era: The Moody Blues
Item at Andy Baker’s home studio: Manley Vox Box pre-amp
Edible yougurt add-on: Sprinkles
Race of the last 5,000 years: Caucasian
Race of the last 20 years: Black
Performance art piece: Sleeping
Cereal: Frosted Mini Wheats
Thing to eat on a video shoot: an everything bagel
Show on NPR: This American Life
Thing about Thurston Moore: (tie) Being in Sonic Youth and collecting records
Television prank show: Punk’d
Celebrity soon to be Alice Cooper’s golfing partner: Marilyn Manson
Film that tricks you into believing that Anton Newcombe has a shred of credibility: Dig
Dead black man: Tupac Shakur
Way to present yourself in a Spin contributor photo: Flattering
Future activity for terrorists: Killing/torturing celebrities of the Tiger Woods caliber
BOLD I would NOT agree