I'm tired of being looked at as a sexual object

[SpursforSix]

Pretty much every time I go into a convenience store, whatever woman is at the counter calls me, "Hon" or "Honey". I mean...I get it...I'm a handsome dude. But come on.

[lefty20]

It could also be cuz they feel sorry for u, tbh.

[Avante]

Ya learn to live with it, you'll adjust.

One of my fav...

I'm sitting on a bar stool in Armona at of all places.....The Armona Club. There I sit nursing a gin tonic when I feel a tap on my shoulder, so I turn around and there stands this cute little blonde.

cutie..hi.
Avante...hey.
cutie...ah...my girlfriends are wanting to head back to Hanford, if I stay could you give me a ride home? I love the way you dance. (I hadn't danced with her)
Avante....sure, can I buy ya a drink?
cutie...let me tell my friends to go, ok?
Avante...cool.

I spent three days with her, she was amazing, but, a screamer. By the time I left her I was convinced my name was....OH GOD!!!!!!!!

My back was a mess.

[SpursforSix]

I spent three days with her, she was amazing, but, a screamer. By the time I left her I was convinced my name was....OH GOD!!!!!!!!


I guess that's better than your other name "Please Stop, I'm Just a Child".

[pgardn]

I was at the Armona Club once and the bartender there swears he has this Wildebeast out back that can talk. He took me out back and there was this albino Wildebeast. The bartender gives this thing, it looked almost blonde, a drink straight from a bottle of gin and told me to wait about 5 minutes. So we stood there together looking at this frkn animal straight out of a horror show from Africa when the bartender carefully moves close to the animal and pats it on the back. The damn thing started to salivate, charged the bartender, and the damn thing was screaming something that sounded like "eh gads" or something.

Next thing I know the damn albino beast is on top of the bartender trying to hump him. I got the hell out of there. Never seen anything like it. I hope the guy is OK, but I imagine his back and butt must have experienced some trauma. If you guys ever hear anything about this I would like to know if the bartender is OK. I think he was drinking his own inventory so it's not all together surprising if he got hurt.

[pgardn]

Shit I forgot.

As I ran out from the back and into the bar, the bartender was yelling something to the effect of, "get the hell off me Nancy, I'm 260 pounds of twisted railroad steel." This last bit of information might clear the whole thing up for me if any of you know about this place.

[DJR210]

Ya learn to live with it, you'll adjust.

One of my fav...

I'm sitting on a bar stool in Armona at of all places.....The Armona Club. There I sit nursing a gin tonic when I feel a tap on my shoulder, so I turn around and there stands this cute little blonde.

cutie..hi.
Avante...hey.
cutie...ah...my girlfriends are wanting to head back to Hanford, if I stay could you give me a ride home? I love the way you dance. (I hadn't danced with her)
Avante....sure, can I buy ya a drink?
cutie...let me tell my friends to go, ok?
Avante...cool.

I spent three days with her, she was amazing, but, a screamer. By the time I left her I was convinced my name was....OH GOD!!!!!!!!

My back was a mess.

Have you been charged for your crime yet?

[Avante]

I guess that's better than your other name "Please Stop, I'm Just a Child".

Really haven't figured out the US military and foreign bars thing yet, have you?

[Avante]

Have you been charged for your crime yet?

Really have no idea how that went over there do you?

[Avante]

I was at the Armona Club once and the bartender there swears he has this Wildebeast out back that can talk. He took me out back and there was this albino Wildebeast. The bartender gives this thing, it looked almost blonde, a drink straight from a bottle of gin and told me to wait about 5 minutes. So we stood there together looking at this frkn animal straight out of a horror show from Africa when the bartender carefully moves close to the animal and pats it on the back. The damn thing started to salivate, charged the bartender, and the damn thing was screaming something that sounded like "eh gads" or something.

Next thing I know the damn albino beast is on top of the bartender trying to hump him. I got the hell out of there. Never seen anything like it. I hope the guy is OK, but I imagine his back and butt must have experienced some trauma. If you guys ever hear anything about this I would like to know if the bartender is OK. I think he was drinking his own inventory so it's not all together surprising if he got hurt.

Once again back at The Aroma Club...

So there we sat, me and two black buddies of mine drinking beer and checking out the nights prospects when all of a sudden these two girls come running up to me.

There was going to be a dance contest later that night and both wanted me as their partner, I didn't know either of them. So as it got hot and things were looking bad...

Avante...let's flip a coin.

I ended up with the less atttractive of the two but it didn't matter we won it anyway and she was the better dance. This was the song (jukebox) we won the 50 bucks with. Yep, being a gentlemen she got it all, she did show her appreciation later that night.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnhI_ECOAK4

[Avante]

I ran the west coast for 10 years before I met Judy, I got some stories.

[pgardn]

Ya learn to live with it, you'll adjust.

One of my fav...

I'm sitting on a bar stool in Armona at of all places.....The Armona Club. There I sit nursing a gin tonic when I feel a tap on my shoulder, so I turn around and there stands this cute little blonde.

cutie..hi.
Avante...hey.
cutie...ah...my girlfriends are wanting to head back to Hanford, if I stay could you give me a ride home? I love the way you dance. (I hadn't danced with her)
Avante....sure, can I buy ya a drink?
cutie...let me tell my friends to go, ok?
Avante...cool.

I spent three days with her, she was amazing, but, a screamer. By the time I left her I was convinced my name was....OH GOD!!!!!!!!

My back was a mess.


I was at the Armona Club once and the bartender there swears he has this Wildebeast out back that can talk. He took me out back and there was this albino Wildebeast. The bartender gives this thing, it looked almost blonde, a drink straight from a bottle of gin and told me to wait about 5 minutes. So we stood there together looking at this frkn animal straight out of a horror show from Africa when the bartender carefully moves close to the animal and pats it on the back. The damn thing started to salivate, charged the bartender, and the damn thing was screaming something that sounded like "eh gads" or something.

Next thing I know the damn albino beast is on top of the bartender trying to hump him. I got the hell out of there. Never seen anything like it. I hope the guy is OK, but I imagine his back and butt must have experienced some trauma. If you guys ever hear anything about this I would like to know if the bartender is OK. I think he was drinking his own inventory so it's not all together surprising if he got hurt.


Shit I forgot.

As I ran out from the back and into the bar, the bartender was yelling something to the effect of, "get the hell off me Nancy, I'm 260 pounds of twisted railroad steel." This last bit of information might clear the whole thing up for me if any of you know about this place.


I ran the west coast close to the Armona club for 10 years before I met Judy, I got some stories.



Damn it man. You have been there also.
Watch out for that bartender and that bizarre animal.

[Avante]

Damn it man. You have been there also.
Watch out for that bartender and that bizarre animal.

Hmmmm?

Back in my insurance salesmen days, I'm standing in a doorway giving my little bit when I feel something on my leg, I look down and there's this pet raccoon crawling up my pant leg...ha! So I...

And, if bitten by a raccoon you're covered. That got a big grin and a..."ok ok, come back at 7"...I sold them over 1000 dollars of insurance.

[Avante]

I do get a little bugged when people try to hit me up on workout routines, how to build the traps, biceps, delts etc, and if I stand in any line for very long there is always some guy..."hey man, so ya lift, huh....? "...and there it starts.

[pgardn]

Hmmmm?

Back in my insurance salesmen days, I'm standing in a doorway giving my little bit when I feel something on my leg, I look down and there's this pet raccoon crawling up my pant leg...ha! So I...

And, if bitten by a raccoon you're covered. That got a big grin and a..."ok ok, come back at 7"...I sold them over 1000 dollars of insurance.

Its clear why you went directly to the Navy.
They get a lot of good folks as do the rest of the armed forces.

But on occasion, line drives just buzz right by. Unnoticed like a stealth bomber.

[Avante]

Its clear why you went directly to the Navy.
They get a lot of good folks as do the rest of the armed forces.

But on occasion, line drives just buzz right by. Unnoticed like a stealth bomber.

Dude, relax, ok? You are so wrapped up in this..."I smart"...it's comical. Do something else, can you? You can't talk about most my interests, right?

[pgardn]

Dude, relax, ok? You are so wrapped up in this..."I smart"...it's comical. Do something else, can you? You can't talk about most my interests, right?


Im not smart IMO.

But I do have a nervous system.
So theres that.

[Avante]

Im not smart IMO.

But I do have a nervous system.
So theres that.

Do you ever answer a question?

[SpursforSix]

So...I'll set the scene
Old Duke's Stop and Shop
Bout midnight. I'm in to buy a last minute Mickeys 40 and a licorice whip.
Sue's manning the counter...always is this time of night. Woman never gets a day off. She's like a skinny version of Heather Graham plus some years and minus some teeth. I put my goods on the counter.

Will that be all Hon. (Giving me the eye)
(Mentally rolling my eyes) yell. Just the usual.
We got condoms and Stag Juice for sale.
No thank Sue.
How's your pecker. I mean...how's your day going?
Fine. I lay a sawbuck in the counter...keep the change. (She needs it)
You want somethin else Honey.
I'm already out the door. See ya.

[pgardn]

Do you ever answer a question?

No.

Damn it.

Yes.

[Avante]

No.

Damn it.

Yes.

You appear in a constant state of hassle, do you ever just relax? Come on guy all this...I gotta be a punk...why? Chill, ok?

[pgardn]

I was at the Armona Club once and the bartender there swears he has this Wildebeast out back that can talk. He took me out back and there was this albino Wildebeast. The bartender gives this thing, it looked almost blonde, a drink straight from a bottle of gin and told me to wait about 5 minutes. So we stood there together looking at this frkn animal straight out of a horror show from Africa when the bartender carefully moves close to the animal and pats it on the back. The damn thing started to salivate, charged the bartender, and the damn thing was screaming something that sounded like "eh gads" or something.

Next thing I know the damn albino beast is on top of the bartender trying to hump him. I got the hell out of there. Never seen anything like it. I hope the guy is OK, but I imagine his back and butt must have experienced some trauma. If you guys ever hear anything about this I would like to know if the bartender is OK. I think he was drinking his own inventory so it's not all together surprising if he got hurt.


You appear in a constant state of hassle, do you ever just relax? Come on guy all this...I gotta be a punk...why? Chill, ok?

Its was the Bombardier Beetle I ate whilst riding my moped.
It must have contained alkaloids and some sort of exotic stimulant.

Avante, did you know the Bartender at the Armona Club? It's a strikingly familiar dude. Can't figure it out.

[Avante]

Its was the Bombardier Beetle I ate whilst riding my moped.
It must have contained alkaloids and some sort of exotic stimulant.

Avante, did you know the Bartender at the Armona Club? It's a strikingly familiar dude. Can't figure it out.

You really can't do it can you? Drop all that crap, ok? Be real, are you capable of just being you?

[pgardn]

You really can't do it can you? Drop all that crap, ok? Be real, are you capable of just being you?

You mean the 260 lbs of twisted steel me?
Or the guy everyone notices at the gym me?

Or like the Bartender with cute blonde Wildebeast that yelled "Eh Ghad" for 3 days at the Armona Club?


So you mean this real? Like the above?

[Avante]

You mean the 260 lbs of twisted steel me?
Or the guy everyone notices at the gym me?

Or like the Bartender with cute blonde Wildebeast that yelled "Eh Ghad" for 3 days at the Armona Club?


So you mean this real? Like the above?

Why do you act like this?

[pgardn]

Why do you act like this?

I don't know as I am not acting, I'm typing.

And Possibly because you are a liar.

And you can give me a, "touché", for my part in this thread... you humble lump of twisted railroad Iron.

[Avante]

I don't know as I am not acting, I'm typing.

And Possibly because you are a liar.

And you can give me a, "touché", for my part in this thread... you humble lump of twisted railroad Iron.

You really have no people skills do you? Cool the silliness and be real, now can you do it?

[pgardn]

You really have no people skills do you? Cool the silliness and be real, now can you do it?

Is it silliness labeling you a lying, self absorbed, autistic, ignoramous?

Real thoughts on you. But hell, it's a message board. Definitely sure I hit 3 out of 4. Really.
But who knows, the weather might be advantageous so I can change my bet with the boys at the gym who adore my body.

Do you ever feel guilty about straight out lying?

[Avante]

Is it silliness labeling you a lying, self absorbed, autistic, ignoramous?

Real thoughts on you. But hell, it's a message board. Definitely sure I hit 3 out of 4. Really.
But who knows, the weather might be advantageous so I can change my bet with the boys at the gym who adore my body.

Do you ever feel guilty about straight out lying?

This isn't about me it's about why all we ever see from you is combat. Why this need to go to battle all the time? You can't relax and be cool?

[pgardn]

This isn't about me it's about why all we ever see from you is combat. Why this need to go to battle all the time? You can't relax and be cool?

No it's about you.

Read.

1. Exploits with Wildebeast thought to be a young girl in a bar.
2. Your body at the gym.
3. Then you met Judy. Faithful hunk of twisted steel.

Its all about you.
Really.

But keep going, I'm so relaxed I'm falling asleep.

[Avante]

No it's about you.

Read.

1. Exploits with Wildebeast thought to be a young girl in a bar.
2. Your body at the gym.
3. Then you met Judy. Faithful hunk of twisted steel.

Its all about you.
Really.

But keep going, I'm so relaxed I'm falling asleep.

Nope, this is all about you and why you have this need to be a pest. What is that all about anyway? Why not cool all that BS and be a real person, can you do it?

From now on if you want to talk with me you'll need to be a mature adult, you got that?

[DMC]

Could be the walker or the hearing aid.

[Avante]

Could be the walker or the hearing aid.

Do you act like this out in public.

[Mark Celibate]

Scarlett has a brother but I'm sure that's not you, tbh.

[pgardn]

Nope, this is all about you and why you have this need to be a pest. What is that all about anyway? Why not cool all that BS and be a real person, can you do it?

From now on if you want to talk with me you'll need to be a mature adult, you got that?

Avante you humble pie...

Go back and read this thread. You addressed me. You responded to my post to begin with.
Got it little fella? Good.

Now, the regions and geographic distribution of the peach pie... No one talks peach pie without discussing the use of cinnamon in the Mobile to Tuscaloosa regions. As one move East to West, the introduction of nutmeg with a corresponding decrease in the cinnamon/salt ratio can't be excused out of hand. You see, no one talks pie like I ....

[DMC]

Do you act like this out in public.

Do you molest 12 year old Asian girls in public?

[Avante]

Do you molest 12 year old Asian girls in public?

What about the US military and foreign bars don't you understand? You are in bars with professional hookers, why do you struggle with that so badly? And they come up to you asking you to buy them drinks and it is them who ask you to take them home. You really don't know any of that? And where are you getting this 12 years old thing? You honestly think 12 year old kids are hustling drinks?

Dude, just how damn stupid are you?

[Avante]

Avante you humble pie...

Go back and read this thread. You addressed me. You responded to my post to begin with.
Got it little fella? Good.

Now, the regions and geographic distribution of the peach pie... No one talks peach pie without discussing the use of cinnamon in the Mobile to Tuscaloosa regions. As one move East to West, the introduction of nutmeg with a corresponding decrease in the cinnamon/salt ratio can't be excused out of hand. You see, no one talks pie like I ....

Drop the crap if you plan on talking to me, got it?

[clambake]

its not that they're talking to you so much as it is more of a public service announcement.

[DMX7]

Pretty much every time I go into a convenience store, whatever woman is at the counter calls me, "Hon" or "Honey". I mean...I get it...I'm a handsome dude. But come on.

They say that to almost everyone. Of all the things you would mistake for an actual complement, this is pretty sad.

[SpursforSix]

They say that to almost everyone. Of all the things you would mistake for an actual complement, this is pretty sad.

I doubt they say that to everyone. Today it was "Sweetie".

[clambake]

They say that to almost everyone. Of all the things you would mistake for an actual complement, this is pretty sad.

take it easy. he hasn't had the time to hone his social skills lately because of his passion for track and field/the blues.

and all things football.

[I. Hustle]

I guess that's better than your other name "Please Stop, I'm Just a Child".

LMAO I just read this and damn near pissed m'self

[pgardn]

Drop the crap if you plan on talking to me, got it?

There is only one place I drop the crap.

Actually, I have also dropped the crap out in the woods but fear not, I covered it well as I was told to do in the required Bear orientation. I also learned how to use pepper spray on a bear and how to tie my food up on the bear pole. Thank you officer Mickelbach of Yellowstone.

It was once suggested to me to drop the crap in a neighbor's house after their window was blown out by hail but I failed to comply.

[Avante]

There is only one place I drop the crap.

Actually, I have dropped crap out in the woods but fear not, I covered it well as I was told to do in the required Bear orientation. I also learned how to use pepper spray on a bear and how to tie my food up on the bear pole. Thank you officer Mickelbach of Yellowstone.

It was once suggested to me to drop the crap in a neighbor's house after their window was blown out by hail but I failed to comply.

So tell me a little about yourselff since Avante is a big part of what you do here.

[pgardn]

So tell me a little about yourselff since Avante is a big part of what you do here.

There is nothing little about myself.

[SpursforSix]

I spent three days with her, she was amazing, but, a screamer. By the time I left her I was convinced my name was....OH GOD!!!!!!!!


I guess that's better than your other name "Please Stop, I'm Just a Child".

Lol at myself.

[Avante]

There is nothing little about myself.

There ya go a little sense of humor, that's a start.

[Avante]

Lol at myself.

You must have missed the part about being in a Cali bar, ya know 21 and all.

[pgardn]

There ya go a little sense of humor, that's a start.

So you did not like my parody of the talking albino Wildebeast who had its way with the bartender in the Armona while yelling "eh gad" for 3 days?

[pgardn]

Do you ever answer a question?


No.

Damn it.

Yes.







There ya go a little sense of humor, that's a start.

And the above walked right by you?

Im trying.
It's excruciating though.

[Avante]

And the above walked right by you?

Im trying.
It's excruciating though.

That was suppose to be funny?

You seem to struggle just chatting with others, why? Everything about you is trying to belittle others, why?

[pgardn]

That was suppose to be funny?

You seem to struggle just chatting with others, why? Everything about you is trying to belittle others, why?

What?

You asked ME to tell YOU little things.

[Avante]

So you did not like my parody of the talking albino Wildebeast who had its way with the bartender in the Armona while yelling "eh gad" for 3 days?

Creative writing is not your gig, ok?

[Avante]

What?

You asked ME to tell YOU little things.

Enought about Avante, from now on it's all about you. So where you from?

[pgardn]

Enought about Avante, from now on it's all about you. So where you from?


I am reticent about performing an interview with a psychologist who experiments with hurting young children.

It seems as if we should talk about you. Does this seem reasonable?

[pgardn]

Creative writing is not your gig, ok?

Damn it.
There goes that whole scene...

*crinkle, trash can*

[Avante]

I am reticent about performing an interview with a psychologist who experiments with hurting young children.

It seems as if we should talk about you. Does this seem reasonable?

There is nothing there to talk about, I was simply in a world I knew nothing about. Just a young kid lost.

Now getting back to you, why this need to bother others, you seem to get all excited if you can pester people, what gives with that?

[pgardn]

There is nothing there to talk about, I was simply in a world I knew nothing about. Just a young kid lost.

Now getting back to you, why this need to bother others, you seem to get all excited if you can pester people, what gives with that?

So you were too young to understand that hurting young small children is wrong?

One other thing.
You replied and quoted me, not the other way round.
Go back and check the thread.

[Avante]

So you were too young to understand that hurting young small children is wrong?

There ya go doing it again, why do you play that? Are you capable of doing anything other than seeing if you can bug people, now answer the question? Why this thing about being a pest, well?

[pgardn]

One other thing.
You replied and quoted me, not the other way round.
Go back and check the thread.

[SpursforSix]

This is a really weird thread now.

[Avante]

This is a really weird thread now.

What happened to our blues trivia contest?

[SpursforSix]

What happened to our blues trivia contest?

I won 1-0.

[pgardn]

This is a really weird thread now.

Now.

It just got weird now.


Im not getting on Avante's sofa for a conversation thank you. Next thing you know his sig is lit up and hes in bed with a spiked Wildebeest. No sir, nope, nein nyet.

[Avante]

I won 1-0.

No you didn't? You had the wrong answer.

So ya give?

[Avante]

Now.

It just got weird now.


Im not getting on Avante's sofa for a conversation thank you. Next thing you know his sig is lit up and hes in bed with a spiked Wildebeest. No sir, nope, nein nyet.

The thing is this, you only want to talk about others, well we are done with that, if now on, it's all about you.

[pgardn]

The thing is this, you only want to talk about others, well we are done with that, if now on, it's all about you.

Actually you want to talk about yourself.

Dont pretend you are interested in me little fella.

Dontcha Dontcha unless you mean it.

- Blind Pickled Pepper

[Avante]

How about some college football?

Best NFL RB from....

Compton JC...Joe "The Jet" Perry
The Citadel...Stump Mitchell
Coe...Fred Jackson
Tiffin...Chris Ivory
UOP...Dick Bass
NM Highlands...Carl Garrett
Furman...Chris Warren
USF...Ollie Matson
West Texas St...Mercury Morris
Abilene Christian...Wilbert Montgomery
Azusa Pacific...Christian "Nigerian Nightmare" Okoye

Hahahaha~~~~~~~~~~

[Avante]

Actually you want to talk about yourself.

Dont pretend you are interested in me little fella.

Dontcha Dontcha unless you mean it.

- Blind Pickled Pepper

Look at yourself unless you are playing critic you don't know what to do, haha~~~~~~ From now on we will be talking about you, get used to it.

[pgardn]

Run for your lives!

LIST Avalanche!

Gather the Sherpas, Bosworth.
We must leave.
Now...

But the dogs... They'll be crushed.

*Scene ends. Bosworth moves quickly off, Fairsoot relents*

[Avante]

Run for your lives!

LIST Avalanche!

Gather the Sherpas, Bosworth.
We must leave.
Now...

But the dogs... They'll be crushed.

*Scene ends. Bosworth moves quickly off, Fairsoot relents*

That's sad, ya really can't just talk can you? No people skills at all.

Drop all the crap, and just tell me a little about yourself, can you do it?

[pgardn]

That's sad, ya really can't just talk can you? No people skills at all.

Drop all the crap, and just tell me a little about yourself, can you do it?

I was not a 260 lb salesman with a pet raccoon on his leg.
I just got nothin I tell yas.
Death of a rabid salesman.

Avante.
Im a 12 year old Polynesian girl. What do I do when the Navy comes to port?

[Avante]

I was not a 260 lb salesman with a pet raccoon on his leg.
I just got nothin I tell yas.
Death of a rabid salesman.

Avante.
Im a 12 year old Polynesian girl. What do I do when the Navy comes to port?

There we have it, just as I said, you don't have any idea how to act. Dude, cool the crap, ok? Now where were you born?

pgardin, be real, can you do it? Stop the immature BS, ok?

[pgardn]

There we have it, just as I said, you don't have any idea how to act. Dude, cool the crap, ok? Now where were you born?

pgardin, be real, can you do it? Stop the immature BS, ok?

Im not acting, I'm typing.

What part of a vegetable is inedible?

[Avante]

Im not acting, I'm typing.

What part of a vegetable is inedible?

This is the best you can do isn't it? I;m really disappointed. Ok man unless you can cool the silliness go bug others, you bore me, ok?

[pgardn]

The wheelchair.

Badda Bing.

But I tire. Thanks for the moment.
Nighty nite. Sleep tight.

[bigzak25]

Ha!