Oh Shit!!!

[Arragontigo]

TMI bastard

[batman2883]

Fuck you i love talking about shit...shit is the easiest thing to talk about

[batman2883]

welcome to the jungle we got fun and games

[ObiwanGinobili]

YOu ever have the "ghost shit" ????

where you *thought* you took a shit... but there is nothign in the pot and nothign to wipe??

freakin weird.

[batman2883]

Hell yeah it feels like you just gave birth you wipe your ass get up and there is nothing but a tiny nugget

[ObiwanGinobili]

or not even a nugget.
I swear I spent liek 30 min.s o nthe shitter yesterday for nothing.

but when I got up I felt "shit satisfied"..... it had to be some kinda ghost shit.
the "ghost of shit past" or something

[batman2883]

Must have been a huge fart you were holding in then...cause that happens to me too when i let out a fart that i had been holding in for a while...

[ObiwanGinobili]

meanwhile.
sometimes I just like sittign on the toilet. it's so damn comfy.

but not the new ones with the super oblong seats.... WTF is up with that?
are people evolving horse butts that need accomadation and I wasn;t informed?

[batman2883]

I just like sitting on the shitter with the crossword puzzle from the sunday star...that gets me through the week

[Taco]

YOu ever have the "ghost shit" ????

where you *thought* you took a shit... but there is nothign in the pot and nothign to wipe??

freakin weird.
:lol

[batman2883]

Taco's give me the squirts

[ObiwanGinobili]

where the hell do you get your taco's??

[batman2883]

from everywhere....i cant stand mexican food anymore it kills me......i love chinese and italian more

[ObiwanGinobili]

maybe your mexican body has had too much mexican and is revolting.

casue I could eat taco's day nad night and never get the squirts... and I'm tlakign bad tacos. chorizo, egg & bean, cabeza

[Taco]

where the hell do you get your taco's??

he get's them at Crappy Cabanna!!!! :lol

[ObiwanGinobili]

he get's them at Crappy Cabanna!!!! :lol


ewwww. thats fucking gross.
i put taco cabana in the same catagory as taco hell. the "not food" catagory.

no wonder he gets the squirts!!
his body is just trying to expell the poisen! :lol

[batman2883]

im not fucking mexican god damn it

[ObiwanGinobili]

calm down there pancho. :lol

j/k.

my bad. this IS south texas. it's an easy enough mistake.

[batman2883]

ha ha ha ha its okay i understand.....

[Ishta]

when your sliding into third.....and you feel a sudden urge....y'all get the rest:lol

[Taco]

im not fucking mexican god damn it
:lol

[batman2883]

I love tacos, im tearing into a barbacoa one right now...hell freaking yeah boy!!!

[ObiwanGinobili]

sausage & egg on corn tortilla for me this morning.
withe the fresh roasted salsa from heb.. the one that comes in the bag.
yum yum.

[ObiwanGinobili]

crap.
this thread is sopposed to be about shit.
not tacos!

:lol

[batman2883]

but tacos cause dirty shits therefore it ties in, and corn tortillas taste like shit

[ObiwanGinobili]

fuck that! I love a good corn tortilla!
a yellow one fried up on my cast iron and then spread some REAL butter on it.... oh yeah. thats good.

[batman2883]

Thats just nasty....blah......man i love me some homemade flour tortilla, fuck yeah, thats some good shit right there

[Arragontigo]

Corn tortillas are pretty nasty

[ElMuerto]

It ain't a barbacoa taco unless it's with tortillas de maiz.

[Arragontigo]

Hell no Tortilla de maiz taste like Mierda

[ObiwanGinobili]

I love flour tortillas for carne guisada.... eggsbacon&potato.... barbacoa.....

but corn tortillas have thier place too man! you can't discount them.

[ElMuerto]

Migas!

[Arragontigo]

Migas is the only place corn tortillas belong..

[Arragontigo]

and enchiladas

[ObiwanGinobili]

and enchiladas


oh hell yeah:tu... I love me some good enchiladas!!! :Dmeaty & cheesy.. i hate whne you go some place and they give you poor ass enchiladas = 80% sauce. :(

but- I also like corn tortillas with Shrimp fajitas.. i can;t et shrimp fajitas on a flour tort.

I always go to Taqueria Vallerta on Blanco way way way way inside the loop.. past La fiesta.... and I get the #30. It;s a 3 meat grill, beef, pollo and shrimp. damn thats tasty.. the beef is so tender and they give you like 15 or 16 good sized shrimp per person. It's 7.99 a person .. but if you have 4 people then you should only order for 3 'casue you'll still have left overs.

anyway. I always get flour AND corn with that.

[Arragontigo]

Taqueria are the worst places in the fucking world to eat mexican food, man i cant believe your still alive for always going there to eat.

[ObiwanGinobili]

go there.
you will change your mind.

and it's not your typical taqueria.

oh my .. i just got the taste of the charro beans in my mouth..... *drool*.. they leave the chicarrones in there ...... :drunk

[Arragontigo]

i bet thats not the only taste in your mouth dirty

[Spam]

I like corn tortillas with my caldo.

[Arragontigo]

so does my mom especially with Menudo

[ObiwanGinobili]

I can only handle menudo at 3am... and even thats limited to 2 or 3x's a year max.

[ObiwanGinobili]

talk about the shits.... menudo=shit inducer

[Spam]

spam & eggs with pico makes a great taco.

[Ishta]

beer shits are the WORST!!

[batman2883]

hell no the worst shits ever are after a bag of flaming hot cheetos

[Taco]

I'm shit ass tired today

[batman2883]

hell yeah, i was up all night uploading songs into my mp3 player last night.....

[ObiwanGinobili]

who the hell eats flaming hot cheetos??
that shit;s not even food.
they should just label it : colon cancer.

[batman2883]

Its freaking good, i love flaming hot cheetos, but it makes your ass burn when you take a shit

[ObiwanGinobili]

Its freaking good, i love flaming hot cheetos, but it makes your ass burn when you take a shit

(ass burn + no nutritional value) x unpronouncable ingrediants = colon cancer
:lmao
if gasoline tasted like ambrosia would you drink that too?

[ObiwanGinobili]

btw - my vBookie has made your vBookie it's bitch.

[batman2883]

(ass burn + no nutritional value) x unpronouncable ingrediants = colon cancer
:lmao
if gasoline tasted like ambrosia would you drink that too?
probably

[batman2883]

btw - my vBookie has made your vBookie it's bitch.

h ahah a ha shut up, im just glad i brought it up from 25 dollars

[batman2883]

Damn lubys cfs...makes you wanna have a mad dump

[batman2883]

frijoles con chorizo

[sa_butta]

anyone ever eat snake??

http://www.ananova.com/images/web/410822.jpg

[Horry For 3!]

My dad found a snake in the toliet at our ranch house.

[sa_butta]

My dad found a snake in the toliet at our ranch house.How big was it, and what kind was it?

[Horry For 3!]

How big was it, and what kind was it?
It was pretty big and I forget the name of it. It eats mice, I know. So it wasn't going to harm us.

[batman2883]

Damn thats a churro

[Taco]

Crap is as Crap does

[sa_butta]

Its a Crap shoot

[ALVAREZ6]

YOu ever have the "ghost shit" ????

where you *thought* you took a shit... but there is nothign in the pot and nothign to wipe??

freakin weird.
Have I ever....???





More like how may times...It's happened so many times to me.

[Marklar MM]

You ever have that poop, when it just doesn't come out.

[hussker]

Eat Mor Fibrrr!!

[batman2883]

fiber just turns it green

[batman2883]

where is the bathroom??
donde esta la bano

[sa_butta]

where is the bathroom??
donde esta la banoEL BANO esta en la biblioteca.

[batman2883]

en la biblioteca??? oh mis estables.......que diablos!!!

[sa_butta]

hay mucho papel de lavabo allí.

[batman2883]

pero donde esta la taqueria?

[ObiwanGinobili]

so the only bathroom available around here is in the library??
do we even have a library???


and thats a pretty quite place...... what if it's an world record dump you;'ve gotta take? everyone is gonna hear the plopping and groaning.

[batman2883]

and they would probably smell it too, especially if its the squirts

[sa_butta]

pero donde esta la taqueria?tengo hambre, yo buscando uno ahora.

[ObiwanGinobili]

i've got a question... (spanish) I read a book to my daughter called

"tortillas y cancioncitas".. and it has a wored in it hat always throws me for a loop.
wash/washing.
Ch. 3 is "Lavado"... and thne it goes on .. " Mi bisabuela lavaba un vestido para mi abuela; mi abuela lavaba un vestido para mi mama; ...."
anyway. you get it.
why the change from lavado/lavada to lavaba??

I know this is just some insignificant grammer thing but it;s never been explained to me , so thanks in advance.

[batman2883]

hell fucking yeah im hungry dude i need some barbacoa with guacamole asap

[sa_butta]

I want some carne guisada con queso.
Watch out El Bano here I come.

[ObiwanGinobili]

i'm eating straight bacon for breakfast.

thats right! JUST BACON!!! hahahahahah :devil

[batman2883]

^dogs dont believe its not bacon^

[ObiwanGinobili]

^^ you talking to me?


huh?



well are you?



punk?




http://www.abaton-kino.de/images/!pix/Taxi-Driver-is-Niro-kahl.jpg

[sa_butta]

Bacon is the SHIT.

[batman2883]

i prefer porkchops to bacon

[ObiwanGinobili]

porkchops for breakfast will delay your mornign shit by at least 4 hours.


chicken fried steak and bisquits for breakfast however.......

[batman2883]

my mom use to make some bad ass breakfasts'
porkchops, biscuts, eggs, bacon, pancakes and tortillas....damn it use to be the bomb

[ObiwanGinobili]

those are my saterday mornign breakfast's..

saterday mornign at my house is a freaking food orgy. we never go to ihop or denny's. thats bullshit.

[batman2883]

yeah thats what it was saturday morning breakfast, but sadly with age my mother has grown sick and she doesnt do it anymore...i miss my mommy sometimes...its hard being the damn baby of the family

[sa_butta]

I had Pork chops for dinner yesterday.

[batman2883]

your not suppose to eat pork for dinner, its bad for you

[sa_butta]

your not suppose to eat pork for dinner, its bad for youwhy not, what is the diff between eating for dinner and breakfast?

[ObiwanGinobili]

well pork period is bad for you so I don;t think it really makes a difference when you eat it.

i was gonan make honeyed pork chops for dinner tonight... but now I'm like "screw it - lets order pizza"

[batman2883]

pork so late in your stomach while your sleeping and stuff can cause heart attacks

[sa_butta]

pork so late in your stomach while your sleeping and stuff can cause heart attacksI really dont eat it very often, last night was rare.
But I will eat the hell out of some bacon. I feel like chicken tonight:lol

[batman2883]

i feel like a chicken ranch pizza from papa johns

[spurs=bling]

so the only bathroom available around here is in the library??
do we even have a library???


and thats a pretty quite place...... what if it's an world record dump you;'ve gotta take? everyone is gonna hear the plopping and groaning.
:lmao

[sa_butta]

i feel like a chicken ranch pizza from papa johnsI dont like Papa Johns their pizzas always fall apart, too messy. I like pizza hut better.

[ObiwanGinobili]

:wtf chicken on pizza is a crime against nature.

batman is now not-so-great in my eyes :depressed

[spurs=bling]

frijoles con chorizo
:tu

i just ate that for breakfast.

and i had menudo for lunch yesterday.

[sa_butta]

:tu

i just ate that for breakfast.

and i had menudo for lunch yesterday.Go to the bathroom discreetly.

[spurs=bling]

Go to the bathroom discreetly.
:lol

[ObiwanGinobili]

Dominos for dinner tonight.... I got a "sorry we fucked up" coupon.. and you can order online :tu

[batman2883]

what the hell, you dont like chicken on pizza its fucking delcious especially on a stuffed crust from pizza hut, i miss the buffalo wing pizza they use to have it was great......i really wanna try the steak pizza from dominos

[spurs=bling]

i don't like pizza at all.

[ObiwanGinobili]

chicken on pizza....... no. it;s not right.

i'm an all italian style meats cheese and veggie pizza kinda girl.
I liek sausage, italian sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms, onions, greenpeppers, redpeppers and xtra cheese. :p :p


thats some serious next mornign shit.

[ObiwanGinobili]

i don't like pizza at all.


you are a rare one. rare indeed.

[spurs=bling]

you are a rare one. rare indeed.
:lol
it made me vomit one time and i don't ever eat things that make me vomit again.

[batman2883]

My favorite pizza is a stuffed crust pizza with mushroom and italian sausage...but i occassionaly add chicken to it

[ObiwanGinobili]

:lol
it made me vomit one time and i don't ever eat things that make me vomit again.


i know what you mean.. but I'm willign tot try agian after a few years....

I ate a peach in july 2003 and barfed all over. I ddiint; eat a peach again untill 4 weeks ago. Now I'm peach addicted.

[ObiwanGinobili]

and to stay on topic here:

fruit, such as peaches, can really get your bowels moving.
and if eaten in large quantities alone with no accompanying fiber , can causethe "squirts".

[batman2883]

ha ha ha ha ha your such a dork i hate when people do that crap its like when eat a certain food somewhere and dont like it, they never wanna eat it anywhere else, people make food differently and thus it might taste better somewhere else...

[spurs=bling]

ha ha ha ha ha your such a dork i hate when people do that crap its like when eat a certain food somewhere and dont like it, they never wanna eat it anywhere else, people make food differently and thus it might taste better somewhere else...

Bat thank you.

[ObiwanGinobili]

I hate when someone smells somethign you are making and they really want some - untill you tell them what it;s called or whats in it.
then they are all like "oh, I don;t like that"... well have you ever had it?? no??? then how the fuck do you know?? you were just drolling over it 5 mins ago!

[batman2883]

i also hate when people smell their food and decide not to try it if it smells funky that is fucking retarded.....some food doesnt smell right but taste fucking great....damn

[ObiwanGinobili]

menudo smells like jock strap

[batman2883]

i dont like menudo cause it tastes like shit

[spurs=bling]

i dont like menudo cause it tastes like shit
Sir it does not taste like shit Sir.

[batman2883]

it tastes like caca, im more of a clam chowder person myself....

[Taco]

It's my Potty and I'll cry if I want to....

[spurs=bling]

it tastes like caca, im more of a clam chowder person myself....


Sir clam chowder is the shit Sir.

[batman2883]

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha aa ha sir yes sir

[ObiwanGinobili]

I'm from new england.

and yes: I can make clam chowder from scratch.

it is the king of all soups. it reigns supreme. i would like to marry it.

[batman2883]

im coming to your house whenever you invite damn it,i love clam chowder with a passions please oh please obi make me a bowl

[sa_butta]

it tastes like caca, im more of a clam chowder person myself....clam chorro

[spurs=bling]

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha aa ha sir yes sir

Sir you wanted respect and now i'm giving you respect Sir.

[batman2883]

dont call me sir i work for a living its batman or greatest to you ma'am/

[sa_butta]

JESUS H CHRIST Private Bling what the hell is wrong with you?

[spurs=bling]

dont call me sir i work for a living its batman or greatest to you ma'am/


Sir i'm sorry but i can't do that, it would be disrespectful Sir.

[spurs=bling]

JESUS H CHRIST Private Bling what the hell is wrong with you?

nothing.

[Horry For 3!]

My dad found a snake in the toliet at our ranch house.
He found another snake in there last week :lmao it was 6 feet long

[sa_butta]

pukes.wav (http://www.moviewavs.com/0078546128/WAVS/Movies/Full_Metal_Jacket/pukes.wav)

[ObiwanGinobili]

I'm thinkign of doing at big pot o'chowder in december.. I'll give you an invite if you leave your batsuit at home.

[spurs=bling]

I'm thinkign of doing at big pot o'chowder in december.. I'll give you an invite if you leave your batsuit at home.
:depressed

lucky people

[batman2883]

I'm thinkign of doing at big pot o'chowder in december.. I'll give you an invite if you leave your batsuit at home.


for homemade clam chowder...you got it....

[batman2883]

dude this thread smells really bad

[sa_butta]

dude this thread smells really badNot as bad as my bathroom last night. WOW
Chicken Fried Steak went right through me.

[batman2883]

well im sure my br is going to be smelling tomorrow after i eat me a sams burger joint burger with guacamole, bacon and shrooms

[spurs=bling]

well im sure my br is going to be smelling tomorrow after i eat me a sams burger joint burger with guacamole, bacon and shrooms


guacamole in a burger?

[batman2883]

oh man if you havent tried it, your on crack....

[spurs=bling]

oh man if you havent tried it, your on crack....


i really don't eat burgers that much. but i'll try it next time.

[sa_butta]

Have you tried that chile frito burger at DQ? Ive been wanting to but
I just cant find a time were I can spend all day in the shitter.

[spurs=bling]

Have you tried that chile frito burger at DQ? Ive been wanting to but
I just cant find a time were I can spend all day in the shitter.

i have. its alright

[batman2883]

Man i was going to the other day but i decided to get a strawberry cheesecake blizzzard

[sa_butta]

Man I could go for a Bacon Cheese Whataburger.

[sa_butta]

Man i was going to the other day but i decided to get a strawberry cheesecake blizzzardMy favorite is chocolate cookie dough.

[spurs=bling]

Man i was going to the other day but i decided to get a strawberry cheesecake blizzzard

those are good.

[batman2883]

hell yeah they are great, awesome even...i think im going to be at hooters tonight eating some wings and drinking some shiner

[spurs=bling]

then go for it

[batman2883]

im going for it, im gonna do it!!!

[spurs=bling]

im going for it, im gonna do it!!!


go eat your heart out and look at girls.

[batman2883]

not its not looking at girls its looking at their boobs

[spurs=bling]

not its not looking at girls its looking at their boobs

then you go right ahead

[batman2883]

Maybe I Will

[spurs=bling]

Maybe I Will


no you have to go

[Mixability]

not its not looking at girls its looking at their boobs

Can't wait for that Hooters to open on the Southside, hopefully its not full of Southside girls though. :shootme

[batman2883]

dude hooters on the ss is going to be ghetto as hell with women that have shaved off their eyebrows and drawn them in with sharpies...fucking hoodrats running around everywhere.....probably working there with their babies on their back

[batman2883]

page 3??

[Taco]

You Can Take A Frosty Dump This Morning

[batman2883]

It had little snowflakes. cause i was freezing my ass off this morning when i woke up

[sa_butta]

dude hooters on the ss is going to be ghetto as hell with women that have shaved off their eyebrows and drawn them in with sharpies...fucking hoodrats running around everywhere.....probably working there with their babies on their backTattoos with their boyfriend's name on one arm and smile now cry later on the other. If the name tag says shy girl just walk away.

[sa_butta]

It had little snowflakes. cause i was freezing my ass off this morning when i woke upSlushy Shit.

[batman2883]

Tattoos with their boyfriend's name on one arm and smile now cry later on the other. If the name tag says shy girl just walk away.


ex fucking actly.....southsiders working at hooters is going to be either really really good or really really bad

[sa_butta]

ex fucking actly.....southsiders working at hooters is going to be either really really good or really really badPlus with the way some of those girls look you could have some underagers in there too.

[batman2883]

^very very true, but then again there are some southsiders with huge t&a without being the size of a whale.....but the whole shaprie marker eyebrow thing is disgusting and they think its great...man

[sa_butta]

^very very true, but then again there are some southsiders with huge t&a without being the size of a whale.....but the whole shaprie marker eyebrow thing is disgusting and they think its great...manEyebrow drawing=:vomit

Damn man that is one thing I hated about Fiesta, you could never
tell how old they were. But boy were some nice to look at.

[batman2883]

very nice eye candy and i still hate fiesta because of it....

[Mixability]

page 3??

bumping your own thread = lame :lol

[batman2883]

your mother^

[Mixability]

your mother^

i knew you acted 12, but i never knew you were really 12! my bad little dawg! :lol

[batman2883]

^being 12 is hard especially with school and all i cant take it anymore, i need to hit puberty and my voice keeps cracking

[Mixability]

^being 12 is hard especially with school and all i cant take it anymore, i need to hit puberty and my voice keeps cracking

at 12, school is probably the only thing that is HARD, huh? :lol

[batman2883]

^Yes and middle school is the school of hard knocks

[sa_butta]

Im sorry if this was already covered but I though it suits this thread well.

http://kutv.com/topstories/local_story_299132820.html (has video)

Man Sprinkles Fecal Matter On Food At Dallas Store

DALLAS A Dallas cab driver was on trial Tuesday, accused of creating a public health danger.

Behrouz Nahidmobarekeh, 49, is on trial for allegedly throwing fecal matter on pastries at a Fiesta grocery store.

Police said they found a pile of human feces by his bed. He would dry it, either by microwave or just letting it sit out and grate it up with a cheese grater and then sprinkle it at the store, officials said.

Neither attorneys in the case is clear about a motive or why the defendant would resort to something so repulsive.

Prosecutors will show a surveillance videotape of the defendant, which shows him sprinkling a substance on the food.

The FBI arrested Nahidmobarekeh but turned the case over to local prosecutors after they determined it was not a national security issue.

[batman2883]

that shit is disgusting

[sa_butta]

I cant beleive he grated his own shit with a cheese grater.

[batman2883]

That Shit Is Nasty

[Taco]

5 days since we've taken a dump

[batman2883]

hell no dude i took a rowdy dump this morning from bbq'ing last night for the game i had way too much steak...man i still have a lot of chicken and steak left over my friends ate but ate sparingly

[Ishta]

5 days since we've taken a dump
I wondered why my stomach hurt :lol

[batman2883]

i love prune juice and it never made me take dumps like its suppose to what does that mean?

[sa_butta]

i love prune juice and it never made me take dumps like its suppose to what does that mean?your pooper is broken.

[batman2883]

my pooper isnt broken

[Taco]

I wondered why my stomach hurt :lol

:lol

[Taco]

Oh Shit!!!!

Is what Philly Fan is saying today

[batman2883]

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Fucking Philly Sucks Im So Glad We Beat Their Asses At The Last Second Last Night, I Was Asleep And I Woke Up And Was Fixing To Turn Off The Tv When Roy Williams Made The Interception I Was Like Hell Yeah Fuck Yeah Run Run Nigga Run

[ObiwanGinobili]

speaking of shits.....

baby poops are practicaly radioactive. :lol how can something so toxic come out of smething so small and cute??

[Ishta]

oh shit... this thread is back..

[batman2883]

how the hell do baby farts and shits smell worse than adults, especially when we eat some fucking food that just isnt right?

[Ishta]

cause we don't magically shit up our backs

[batman2883]

ha ha ha ha ha ha shit up our backs

[ObiwanGinobili]

yeah baby's shit and it goes up thier backs... freaking weird.

our (adult) shits go straight from our ass's into the toilet. So there is the water there to hamper the strength and travelbility (i know- not a word) of it;s scent.

Whereas baby shit is sitting in a diaper for who knows how long just getting riper and riper in the open air as time goes by..... not to mention it;s gettign baked by the 96.8 degree baby butt.

[batman2883]

thats disgusting...holy shit, its almost december its almost time for some clam fucking chowda

[Taco]

speaking of shits.....

baby poops are practicaly radioactive. :lol

:lol

[ObiwanGinobili]

thats disgusting...holy shit, its almost december its almost time for some clam fucking chowda


haha!! :lol
I was just thinking about that .....
I'm gonna be in Victoria from the 28th of Nov. till the 17th of December.
I'llmost likely be making the chowder the 14th or 15th so I'll throw some in a tupperware and pop it in the frezer for you.

When I get back to SA you;ll have to pick it up since I'm vehicle-free.

[batman2883]

thats fine with me, i love me some clam chowda, i'm salivating at the thought of homemade clam chowda

[PakiDan]

Bullshit. Pure Bullshit!

[batman2883]

i havent taken a dump all day today yet, so i think something is wrong

[Taco]

Leftover Turkey Dump

[batman2883]

damn those were horrible....damn with stuffing and mashed taters....damn,


on another note...jailhouse rock is the gayest elvis song ever fucking made

[batman2883]

The shits that come from eating fideo is like water

[valluco]

HOW TO POOP AT WORK

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORKPOOP is inevitable. For those
who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.

CROP DUSTING:
When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it
came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left
your pants.

FLY BY:
This is the act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave
and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the
bathroom.

ESCAPEE:
This is a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave
of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in
the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both
parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK:
When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should
happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH:
The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of airtime the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME:
Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if
someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. This very uncomfortable walk can be
avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER:
This is a colleague who poops at work and is darn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a
newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N):
A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the
whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS:
A Safe Haven is a seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of
the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR:
This is someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and
vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way
you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH:
A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall is called a Camo-Cough. This can be used to cover-up a
WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. The Camo-Cough is very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE:
An Astaire is a subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt
that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON:
A watermelon is a big poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a
Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET:
A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an
Astaire.

UNCLE TODD:
An Uncle Todd is a bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. This person could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror
or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Todd makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is
empty. This benefits you as well as other bathroom attendees.

Hope the Survival Guide helps, as the WORKPOOP is an inevitable part of life!

[Silver21_Black20]

HOW TO POOP AT WORK

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORKPOOP is inevitable. For those
who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.

CROP DUSTING:
When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it
came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left
your pants.

FLY BY:
This is the act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave
and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the
bathroom.

ESCAPEE:
This is a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave
of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in
the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both
parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK:
When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should
happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH:
The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of airtime the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME:
Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if
someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. This very uncomfortable walk can be
avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER:
This is a colleague who poops at work and is darn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a
newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N):
A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the
whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS:
A Safe Haven is a seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of
the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR:
This is someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and
vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way
you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH:
A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall is called a Camo-Cough. This can be used to cover-up a
WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. The Camo-Cough is very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE:
An Astaire is a subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt
that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON:
A watermelon is a big poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a
Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET:
A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an
Astaire.

UNCLE TODD:
An Uncle Todd is a bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. This person could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror
or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Todd makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is
empty. This benefits you as well as other bathroom attendees.

Hope the Survival Guide helps, as the WORKPOOP is an inevitable part of life!

Something similar to this was posted in the beginning of this thread but it is still freakin' hilarious :lol

[Taco]

Sexlax

[Taco]

Time to take a New Years Dump

[Silver21_Black20]

Time to take a New Years Dump

But it's the 3rd :lol

[Hank Hill]

But it's the 3rd :lol

That there taco is waiting 3 days to go to the bathroom? :lol


One time Bobby crammed a whole bunch of kids into a port-o-potty for a radio contest

[Taco]

That there taco is waiting 3 days to go to the bathroom? :lol



:lmao

No I just wanted to bump this thread

I like the Oh Shit Thread :lol

[Ishta]

Oh shit....me too!! :lol :lol

[Silver21_Black20]

Oh shit....me too!! :lol :lol


No shit....me too!!! :lol :lol

[Marklar MM]

You got to be shittin me...this thread is still alive and my blackbar was closed.

[batman2883]

Damn I Really Need To Take One And Ive Been Holdin It All Day At Work My Back Is Starting To Hurt From It

[Silver21_Black20]

Damn I Really Need To Take One And Ive Been Holdin It All Day At Work My Back Is Starting To Hurt From It

Do It....

[Taco]

Oh Shit you guys missed a great GTG on friday night!!!!!!!!!

[batman2883]

damn did anyone see that hit from goings to taptua last night...lol that shit was funny

[sa_butta]

damn did anyone see that hit from goings to taptua last night...lol that shit was funnyThey both got JACKED UP!!!!!

[batman2883]

ha ha ha ha aha yeah they did...but goings got it worse and he was the one that delivered the blow....tapatua sat up like the undertaker after that hit

[Taco]

February is a Short Shit Month

[Taco]

Hey Batman bring your Oh Shit Thread over to the Troll Fourm

[Marklar MM]

My dog shit on the floor.

[batman2883]

Ha Ha Ha Ha So There Can Be Troll Shit All Over It?

[batman2883]

sometimes you feel like a nut.,...sometimes you dont

[midgetonadonkey]

sometimes you feel like a nut.,...sometimes you dont

When I eat peanuts, they come out in my shit. I find it fascinating.

[Ishta]

OH SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT, it's back

[batman2883]

taking dumps is like the biggest relief in the world....i mean can you imagine if you didnt take a dump how much you're stomach and back would hurt?

[midgetonadonkey]

One of these days I'm going to drink a can of corn just to see what my shit looks like the next day.

[batman2883]

dude try eating gummy bears .....they come out in tact when they come out

[midgetonadonkey]

I'm going to try that. I'll post a picture of it when it comes out.

[midgetonadonkey]

A gummy worm may look a little more humorous.

[batman2883]

yeah i bet worms would look better

[Silver21_Black20]

One of these days I'm going to drink a can of corn just to see what my shit looks like the next day.

The next day? Hell no dude, it would probably take 30 minutes before you'd start to have that feeling to take a shit, if you drink a whole can of corn...haha

[batman2883]

try chugging a gallon of milk

[Silver21_Black20]

^ Eww...

[batman2883]

ive done it without throwing up

[Silver21_Black20]

I hope it was a bet and that you didn't just do it for the hell of it.

[batman2883]

it was a bet, my friends kept saying it was physically impossible and i did it like nothing

[Silver21_Black20]

So what did you win? Money? Girls? Beer?

[batman2883]

i won respect...now another story is why i can never eat a pickle again, i once chugged the entire jar of pickle juice and im talking the big jars that the ice cream man uses.....i won 5 bucks for that in middle school....needless to say i used that 5 bucks on pepto bismol to help heal my irratated stomach from throwing up all night

[Silver21_Black20]

i won respect...now another story is why i can never eat a pickle again, i once chugged the entire jar of pickle juice and im talking the big jars that the ice cream man uses.....i won 5 bucks for that in middle school....needless to say i used that 5 bucks on pepto bismol to help heal my irratated stomach from throwing up all night

Respect :tu

Damn...haha...that's funny. I don't think I ever did anything like that for a bet...I'm a wuss.

[sa_butta]

i won respect...now another story is why i can never eat a pickle again, i once chugged the entire jar of pickle juice and im talking the big jars that the ice cream man uses.....i won 5 bucks for that in middle school....needless to say i used that 5 bucks on pepto bismol to help heal my irratated stomach from throwing up all nighttry this
http://www.makemeking.com/home/dares/276/Jalapeno_Juice_Chug.html

[Despot]

Ok, just saw this thread.


Shelly is obviously more refined, she does it in French.

We all know what a French Kiss is, but I shudder at the thought of what a French Crap is.

[Despot]

You ever have the shits that burn your ass so bad you hope one of the turds will splash the water high enough to cool your ass?

And I believe that before it reaches the surface it is called magma.

[sa_butta]

Some Shitty News

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1718687.html?menu=
Toilet roll falls foul of cutbacks

Civil servants in Romania are outraged after their boss told them to use newspapers and magazines instead of toilet paper.

Paraschiv Usturoiu, who is in charge of the Department of Culture in Vrancea county, came up with the idea to save money.

He told 7 Plus newspaper: "I can't afford to buy toilet paper any more so I cut some local newspapers into pieces and placed them in the toilets. I'm sure they'll work just fine."

But the department's employees say they are offended by the cost-cutting measure and have asked him to reconsider.

One woman said: "This is an outrage. It's degrading and we can hurt ourselves or get infected from that ink they use for printing newspapers."


http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1719077.html?menu (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1719077.html?menu)=

Locals told not to approach dung-spraying buffalo

Locals in Hampshire have been told not to approach six missing water buffalo as "they are able to spray dung across large distances".

The buffalo were last seen in a field in Lower Pennington Lane, Lymington earlier this week.

Police believe the animals were stolen because there was no trail of tell-tale dung at the scene.

According to BBC online a police spokesman said: "They should not be approached from behind... as the animals are able to spray dung across large distances."

The majority of water buffalo are to be found in Asia but have been increasingly used in the UK to produce speciality milk, cheese and yoghurts.

[Marklar MM]

My 8 pound dog, just took a shit that will rival a human being over the age of 15, that smells like shitty shit...I mean the cream of the crop shit.

[Taco]

My 8 pound dog, just took a shit that will rival a human being over the age of 15, that smells like shitty shit...I mean the cream of the crop shit.

Don't come around here with that shit!!!!! :lol

[batman2883]

I can't stop shitting all this chocolate i got for valentines day i think my stomach is gonna burst or something

[midgetonadonkey]

I got Budweiser shits today.

[Taco]

I feel like Shit

[batman2883]

i just ate pizza here at work cause they ordered us pizza hut and boy oh boy am i gonna have to let it out before school starts

[Silver21_Black20]

Let it out bat...you'll feel much more at ease at school ;)

[batman2883]

Let it out bat...you'll feel much more at ease at school ;)
I normally dont talk like that in front of girls......hey by the way SB you need to post more in the quattro

[Silver21_Black20]

I normally dont talk like that in front of girls......hey by the way SB you need to post more in the quattro

Haha...dude, it doesn't matter, I won't get offended...if I did, I wouldn't come in this thread.

I will post in the Quattro, I'm still reading posts and learning how it is done. I don't wanna make an ass out of myself.

[batman2883]

Haha...dude, it doesn't matter, I won't get offended...if I did, I wouldn't come in this thread.

I will post in the Quattro, I'm still reading posts and learning how it is done. I don't wanna make an ass out of myself.
we all fall down every now and then ma'am its our decision to get back up that makes us admired by others...remember that