View Full Version : Oh Shit!!!
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batman2883
10-06-2005, 12:14 PM
I just went to take a poop in the restroom, i came back and my entire department was gone, i think i might be in some trouble....?? They might be having a meeting which i refuse to walk late into, hopefully nothing bad happens..... :oops
MannyIsGod
10-06-2005, 12:16 PM
Looks like the shit is about to hit the fan.
MannyIsGod
10-06-2005, 12:16 PM
Looks like you're knee deep in shit.
MannyIsGod
10-06-2005, 12:16 PM
Looks like you're getting shit on.
CrazyOne
10-06-2005, 12:16 PM
Looks like you're about to really step in it...
MannyIsGod
10-06-2005, 12:16 PM
Looks like you're shit out of luck.
angel_luv
10-06-2005, 12:17 PM
Isn't it better to go to a mtg late than to skip it entirely?
batman2883
10-06-2005, 12:17 PM
ha ha ha keep it coming
MannyIsGod
10-06-2005, 12:17 PM
Ok. I'm done.
Sounds like a load of crap to me.
batman2883
10-06-2005, 12:18 PM
Isn't it better to go to a mtg late than to skip it entirely?
Not when im going to interrupt everyone walking in late and having to explain why, that shits embarrasing...i couldnt hold it though..damn tacos
angel_luv
10-06-2005, 12:18 PM
Sounds like a load of crap to me.
The winner! :lol
They'll understand. I'm sure they've all had shitty days too.
TheTruth
10-06-2005, 12:19 PM
Shit happens.
I just went to take a poop in the restroom,
poop?
poop?
What are you 6 years old? :lol
J/K
Just rember poop happens!!!
MannyIsGod
10-06-2005, 12:20 PM
Shit happens.
:lmao
How did it take that many posts in this thread before someone posted that? Fuck, I'm ashamed at myself.
batman2883
10-06-2005, 12:21 PM
Im never eating mexican food again fucking mexican's put ex lax in all their food im convinced of that much
MannyIsGod
10-06-2005, 12:21 PM
Just wait till you get the good salsa that burns going in AND OUT.
MannyIsGod
10-06-2005, 12:21 PM
Man, this thread has gone to shit.
batman2883
10-06-2005, 12:22 PM
poop?
poop?
What are you 6 years old? :lol
J/K
Just rember poop happens!!!
Im fucking trying to cut down on my god damn cursing shit!!!
Im never eating mexican food again fucking mexican's put ex lax in all their food im convinced of that much
Why don't Mexican's Barbeque?
The beans keep falling through the grill.
TheTruth
10-06-2005, 12:22 PM
I heard that batshit is very valuable to some people in the world. I'm gonna call Ace Ventura.
CosmicCowboy
10-06-2005, 12:22 PM
Did you check to make sure they weren't just passed out under their desks? As full of shit as you are it probably stunk like a sumbitch...
Im fucking trying to cut down on my god damn cursing shit!!!
:lol
Sorry I didn't mean to Fudge you up!!! :lol
batman2883
10-06-2005, 12:23 PM
Just wait till you get the good salsa that burns going in AND OUT.
Oh ive had that before, i love salsa, but you know whats worse, is flaming hot cheetos...those burn too
1Parker1
10-06-2005, 12:23 PM
This is the shittiest thread ever.
batman2883
10-06-2005, 12:24 PM
Did you check to make sure they weren't just passed out under their desks? As full of shit as you are it probably stunk like a sumbitch...
Oh trust me i did, it was like a fucking ghosttown everyone was gone
Other words more macho that poop
1. I had to take a Dump
2. ....
CosmicCowboy
10-06-2005, 12:25 PM
Other words more macho that poop
1. I had to take a Dump
2. ....
Drop a load...
TheTruth
10-06-2005, 12:25 PM
Just wait till you get the good salsa that burns going in AND OUT.
You ever have the shits that burn your ass so bad you hope one of the turds will splash the water high enough to cool your ass?
TheTruth
10-06-2005, 12:26 PM
Other words more macho that poop
1. I had to take a Dump
2. ....
Pinch one off
travis2
10-06-2005, 12:26 PM
WTF is this shit???
You ever have the shits that burn your ass so bad you hope one of the turds will splash the water high enough to cool your ass?
That's why I have a throne with the built in ass sprayer.
batman2883
10-06-2005, 12:26 PM
Man if you look at the name of the thread youll see i wasnt successful at not cursing, and to answer your question truthy yes, i have,
have you ever dropped a bomb so good it was almost orgasmic?
Shelly
10-06-2005, 12:27 PM
Just wait till you get the good salsa that burns going in AND OUT.
We fondly refer that to the ring o' fire!
TheTruth
10-06-2005, 12:27 PM
That's why I have a throne with the built in ass sprayer.
I don't know if that was built for the ass...
Shelly
10-06-2005, 12:27 PM
Courtesy of Larry the Cable Guy:
Drop the Browns off at the Superbowl
batman2883
10-06-2005, 12:27 PM
Ever notice when your on the road and you have to go really really bad your stomach finds a way to hold it and everything is fine, but as soon as you get close to your house your stomach always knows so the dump pains come back with a vengence?
TheTruth
10-06-2005, 12:28 PM
Man if you look at the name of the thread youll see i wasnt successful at not cursing, and to answer your question truthy yes, i have,
have you ever dropped a bomb so good it was almost orgasmic?
So your saying that something came out of your ass and felt soo good you had an orgasm? Sounds kinda gay to me.
MannyIsGod
10-06-2005, 12:28 PM
Oh shit man. I'm dying. Where is Sequ? He lives in shit threads.
batman2883
10-06-2005, 12:28 PM
So your saying that something came out of your ass and felt soo good you had an orgasm? Sounds kinda gay to me.
stfu i mean like you were holding it so damn long that it felt so damn good to let it out...
Shelly
10-06-2005, 12:29 PM
Did you check to make sure they weren't just passed out under their desks? As full of shit as you are it probably stunk like a sumbitch...
:rollin
Shelly
10-06-2005, 12:29 PM
WAs there corn involved?
MannyIsGod
10-06-2005, 12:30 PM
We fondly refer that to the ring o' fire!
:lmao
Shelly, you must be the coolest mom ever.
MannyIsGod
10-06-2005, 12:30 PM
Courtesy of Larry the Cable Guy:
Drop the Browns off at the Superbowl
Drop the Cosby kids off at the pool.
TheTruth
10-06-2005, 12:31 PM
stfu i mean like you were holding it so damn long that it felt so damn good to let it out...
I tend not to hold my shits in soo long as to cause pain.
Shelly
10-06-2005, 12:31 PM
:lmao
Shelly, you must be the coolest mom ever.
Dude, I live in a house full of testosterone. It's fair game around here.
travis2
10-06-2005, 12:32 PM
WAs there corn involved?
No Sequ, no corn...
batman2883
10-06-2005, 12:32 PM
When your driving home from work in traffic sometimes there is no other choice but to hold it....and i'm telling you it gets in your back too damn, i dont even wanna think about it
WAs there corn involved?
From the movie Full Metal Jacket
Animal Mother: Well I got a joke for you. I'm gonna tear you a new asshole.
Private Joker: Well pilgrim, only after you eat the peanuts out of my shit.
TheTruth
10-06-2005, 12:33 PM
This is the shittiest thread ever.
hahahahaha
Shelly
10-06-2005, 12:33 PM
I tend not to hold my shits in soo long as to cause pain.
My neice used to hold it forever. One time she dropped a load the size of a coke can and clogged the toilet at my parents. It was the main conversation after Thanksgiving dinner. :lmao
Shelly
10-06-2005, 12:34 PM
Did you shart?
If you've seen Along Came Polly, you'll know what it means...
TheTruth
10-06-2005, 12:34 PM
My neice used to hold it forever. One time she dropped a load the size of a coke can and clogged the toilet at my parents. It was the main conversation after Thanksgiving dinner. :lmao
:lmao
I hope you took a picture and posted it on ratemypoo.com.
spurs_fan_in_exile
10-06-2005, 12:35 PM
Drop a few depth charges.
Fill a bowl with second hand Cheerios.
Darken the porcelain.
Scuttle poo-571.
Other words more macho that poop
1. I had to take a Dump
2. ....
My dad used to say
"I've got a monkey at the door"
TheTruth
10-06-2005, 12:35 PM
mother fuck this...mother fuck that..
couldn't make it to the shitter before I shart.
Shelly
10-06-2005, 12:36 PM
:lmao
I hope you took a picture and posted it on ratemypoo.com.
:lol
No!!!!
TheTruth
10-06-2005, 12:37 PM
Other words more macho that poop
1. I had to take a Dump
2. ....
doing the deuce
laying one down
chopping some wood
cutting a loaf
cleaning the pipes
waking the neighbors
batman2883
10-06-2005, 12:37 PM
HA HA HA HA HA HA man this past season i went to watch the Spurs play the heat at hooters downtown, after we ate we got into the car and i was driving out of the parking garage when i got a peeker the size that would choke a donkey....i had to book it through DT traffic to get to my parents house, i barely made it through the damn door
MannyIsGod
10-06-2005, 12:38 PM
Man, do any of ya'll who used to post at the old WOAI board remeber Danny McWhack?
Dude posted a story one time that was fucking gross and hillarious at the same time. He was at some relatives house, and to freak them out he took a dump in the litter box. He called them all in to see "what the cat had done" and they were all shocked.
It is so disgusting yet so hillarious at the same time.
:lol
TheTruth
10-06-2005, 12:38 PM
he said a peeker....
is that the same as a turtle head?
MannyIsGod
10-06-2005, 12:38 PM
:lmao
The turtles poking it's head!
batman2883
10-06-2005, 12:38 PM
Man, do any of ya'll who used to post at the old WOAI board remeber Danny McWhack?
Dude posted a story one time that was fucking gross and hillarious at the same time. He was at some relatives house, and to freak them out he took a dump in the litter box. He called them all in to see "what the cat had done" and they were all shocked.
It is so disgusting yet so hillarious at the same time.
:lol
ha ha ha ha ha ha
TheTruth
10-06-2005, 12:39 PM
Man, do any of ya'll who used to post at the old WOAI board remeber Danny McWhack?
Dude posted a story one time that was fucking gross and hillarious at the same time. He was at some relatives house, and to freak them out he took a dump in the litter box. He called them all in to see "what the cat had done" and they were all shocked.
It is so disgusting yet so hillarious at the same time.
:lol
:lol :spin
I'm gonna do that the next time I go to my cousin's house. Fantastic.
Shelly
10-06-2005, 12:39 PM
Man, do any of ya'll who used to post at the old WOAI board remeber Danny McWhack?
Dude posted a story one time that was fucking gross and hillarious at the same time. He was at some relatives house, and to freak them out he took a dump in the litter box. He called them all in to see "what the cat had done" and they were all shocked.
It is so disgusting yet so hillarious at the same time.
:lol
Oh, that's just....wrong
:lmao
batman2883
10-06-2005, 12:39 PM
Man my biggest fear in life is to pull a harry from dumb and dumber at a girls house, ive clogged my ex's parents rr once and i was in there doing all i could for like an hour to get it unclogged.....
Hook Dem
10-06-2005, 01:00 PM
Did you "lay some cable"? :lol
MiNuS
10-06-2005, 01:02 PM
deficate!
batman2883
10-06-2005, 01:03 PM
Mudd Butt
sa_butta
10-06-2005, 01:09 PM
:lmao
The turtles poking it's head!prairie doggin.
Take the shitquiz
http://www.thisisacryforhelp.com/shitquiz.htm
batman2883
10-06-2005, 01:31 PM
cacol
1Parker1
10-06-2005, 01:33 PM
Is shitting contagious? Cuz I now find myself wanting to go take one.....:lmao
SWC Bonfire
10-06-2005, 01:36 PM
I'll post this again for batman's benefit:
Survival Guide For Taking A Dump At Work
We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the 2003 Survival Guide for taking a dump at work. Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.
ESCAPEE
Definition: a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.
JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with ESCAPEE)
Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
COURTESY FLUSH
Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
WALK OF SHAME
Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.
OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER
Definition: A colleague who poops at work and damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.
THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN)
Definition: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.
SAFE HAVENS
Definition: Seldom-used bathrooms somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.
TURD BURGLAR
Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
CAMO-COUGH
Definition: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.
ASTAIRE.
Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.
WATERMELON.
Definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
HAVANA OMELET
Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.
UNCLE TED
Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.
FLY BY
Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
Ishta
10-06-2005, 01:45 PM
this is a bunch of horse shit!!
Funny though:lmao:lmao:lmao
sa_butta
10-06-2005, 02:01 PM
this is a bunch of horse shit!!
Funny though:lmao:lmao:lmaoBULLSHIT
sa_butta
10-06-2005, 02:01 PM
No sign of MR. HANKY
TheTruth
10-06-2005, 02:19 PM
that shit list was pretty damn funny.
batman2883
10-06-2005, 02:20 PM
Your momma went to take a dump and out came you
sa_butta
10-06-2005, 02:25 PM
Your momma went to take a dump and out came youAnalbaby
MannyIsGod
10-06-2005, 02:25 PM
Oh man, that had me laughing so hard.
batman2883
10-06-2005, 02:26 PM
ha ha ha ha
John T
10-06-2005, 02:31 PM
So batman, spill. What happened, are they back yet?
Carie
batman2883
10-06-2005, 02:32 PM
They came back and i talked to my sup, she said it was okay she was very merciful to my situation, then we all had a huge potluck now i have to go again pretty soon i feel it rumbling in my stomach....damn bill millers chicken
So you made a deposit into the Bank of Porcelain?
batman2883
10-06-2005, 02:35 PM
So you made a deposit into the Bank of Porcelain?
Ha ha ha ha ive never heard that one
sa_butta
10-06-2005, 02:35 PM
They came back and i talked to my sup, she said it was okay she was very merciful to my situation, then we all had a huge potluck now i have to go again pretty soon i feel it rumbling in my stomach....damn bill millers chickendumb-diareah.wav (http://new.wavlist.com/movies/032/dumb-diareah.wav)
Potluck?...stay away from these.
http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/pics/shisand.gif
ObiwanGinobili
10-06-2005, 02:43 PM
I tend not to hold my shits in soo long as to cause pain.
I only take shits at home. So sometimes they are held for quite awhile.
I only take shits at home. So sometimes they are held for quite awhile. Whatever.... You are so full of shit!
ObiwanGinobili
10-06-2005, 02:49 PM
not right now! :D I'm at home.
:lol
batman2883
10-06-2005, 02:50 PM
shitbreak is obi's new nickname.....she's like finch from american pie.....
Marklar MM
10-06-2005, 02:52 PM
http://www.poopreport.com/
Marklar MM
10-06-2005, 02:53 PM
Ways to Annoy your Public Bathroom Stallmate
1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
2. Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, "Damn, this water's cold."
5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh no! My glass eye!"
6. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantelope into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"
11. Say, "Interesting... more floaters than sinkers."
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?"
13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me."
14. Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettucine alfredo you had for breakfast.
15. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."
16. Say, "Dang, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
17. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
18. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
19. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
20. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free".
Drachen
10-06-2005, 02:54 PM
So your telling me that all of this happend when you took the Browns to the Super Bowl?
sa_butta
10-06-2005, 02:54 PM
Now there is Super Colon Blow
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/89/pics/89ecolonblow2.jpg
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/89/pics/89ecolonblow3.jpg
ObiwanGinobili
10-06-2005, 02:58 PM
the very first time I was at my In-laws house was for an all-day BBQ thingy.. and I had gotton a ride there from someone else so I couldn't leave if i wanted to ... well after 9 hours I REALLY gotta crop a load.. i mean, I had chorizo and egg tacos for breakfast.. and it was now 4 or so in the afternoon.
So I hold it 3 more hours but finally I HAVE to use thier bathroom... ugh! I hate using strange people's bathroom.
Well noone told me that thier septic tank was broken! and you couldn't put toilet paper in the toilet.
sure enough it overflowed. took me nother 40 mins but i managed to clean it all up nad fix it myself without having to alert anyone and bring the attention of 40 party-goers :lol
that day still goes down as the worst shit I ever took in my life.
Guru of Nothing
10-06-2005, 03:02 PM
Courtesy of Larry the Cable Guy:
Drop the Browns off at the Superbowl
Lately I use, "Checking into detox"
Marklar MM
10-06-2005, 03:03 PM
bob for apples
christen the comfort station
desecrate the throne room
Ishta
10-06-2005, 03:11 PM
This is some seriously funny shit:lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao
gameFACE
10-06-2005, 04:24 PM
WAs there corn involved?
Corn is truly the food of gods. It can take a lot of shit.
Looks like Batman is not up shit creek after all.
I'm scribblin on my chones! :lol
JoeChalupa
10-06-2005, 04:32 PM
I love my morning BM.
batman2883
10-06-2005, 06:02 PM
lol hell nothing beats the bm i have after i get home from school.....man i hold it through work, school then finally i get home and the apt turns into a sauna
SequSpur
10-06-2005, 07:18 PM
Ah shit... what a topic!
I call it "Mailing a Package" That is the official office terminology.
Corn? That's not all. Sometimes if I eat some salad, that shit just comes out whole with some dressing on it.
Sheyitt.
Shelly
10-06-2005, 07:36 PM
:lol
and ewwwwwww.
Marklar MM
10-06-2005, 07:47 PM
Morning poops are the best. Oh and don't eat a lot of meat the day before an important meeting...your flatulations will really smell.
SequSpur
10-06-2005, 07:49 PM
Morning poops are the best.
Not when they wake you up. That shit pisses me off.
TheTruth
10-06-2005, 07:50 PM
I've never had the displeasure of a shit waking me up. But I do shit every morning before I take my shower.
Shelly
10-06-2005, 07:57 PM
Where's Mr. Thesaurus when you need him?
2 entries found for shit.
Main Entry: debris
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: litter
Synonyms: bits, crap, detritus, dregs, dross, fragments, garbage, junk, offal, pieces, refuse, remains, rubbish, rubble, ruins, shit, trash, waste, wreck, wreckage
Source: Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.1.1)
Copyright © 2005 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.
Ishta
10-07-2005, 10:29 AM
I can't believe we had so much SHIT to talk about :lol :lol :lol :lol
WHO'S IN CHARGE
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.
"I should be in charge," said the brain , "because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen".
"I should be in charge," said the blood, "because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach," because I process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "because I allow the body to see where it goes."
"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at
the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he
shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic.
They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.
The Moral of the story?
The asshole is usually in charge !!
Ishta
10-07-2005, 02:13 PM
WHO'S IN CHARGE
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.
"I should be in charge," said the brain , "because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen".
"I should be in charge," said the blood, "because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach," because I process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "because I allow the body to see where it goes."
"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at
the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he
shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic.
They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.
The Moral of the story?
The asshole is usually in charge !!http://spurstalk.com/forums/images/smilies/lmao.gif
Shelly
10-07-2005, 02:17 PM
Merde!
sa_butta
10-07-2005, 02:20 PM
Merde!I thought it was mierda.
Shelly
10-07-2005, 02:27 PM
I thought it was mierda.
Merde is French
Mierda is Espanol
SWC Bonfire
10-07-2005, 02:27 PM
Shelly is obviously more refined, she does it in French.
Shelly
10-07-2005, 02:29 PM
Shelly is obviously more refined, she does it in French.
You fucking know it!
:)
Shelly is obviously more refined, she does it in French.
:lmao
I love this Shitty Thread!!!!!!
nkdlunch
10-07-2005, 03:11 PM
Have you guys ever taken a Mother Shit?
when you go take a shit and it hurts so much than once you're done, you baptize the turd.
^^^^^^^
Sounds like you had a rather shitty experience. A religious turd?
Steve Perry
10-07-2005, 03:21 PM
This topic stinks time for me to Scat out of here.........
Shelly
10-07-2005, 03:37 PM
Have you guys ever taken a Mother Shit?
when you go take a shit and it hurts so much than once you're done, you baptize the turd.
And do you see a vision of the Virgin Mary like you can in grilled cheese sandwiches?
Marklar MM
10-07-2005, 03:37 PM
You've gotta be shittin me.
nkdlunch
10-07-2005, 03:57 PM
And do you see a vision of the Virgin Mary like you can in grilled cheese sandwiches?
How about the High Maintenance Shit. The one that once you take it you gotta start saving up for the plumbing costs.
Ishta
10-07-2005, 04:12 PM
How about the High Maintenance Shit. The one that once you take it you gotta start saving up for the plumbing costs.
My husband does this every morning like fucking clockwork!! The shit is so bad it'll wake me up:lol
sa_butta
10-07-2005, 04:13 PM
Merde is French
Mierda is Espanolnever took French but thanx now
I know a new way to say shit.
please post shit in different languages.
sa_butta
10-07-2005, 04:17 PM
Shit is german is
Scheiße or Scheisse
sa_butta
10-07-2005, 04:24 PM
The word shit entered modern English language derived from the Old English nouns scite and the Middle Low German schite, both meaning "dung," and the Old English noun scitte, meaning "diarrhea." Our most treasured cuss word has been with us a long time, showing up in written works both as a noun and as a verb as far back as the 14th century.
Scite can trace its roots back to the proto-Germanic root skit-, which brought us the German scheisse, Dutch schijten, Swedish skita, and Danish skide. Skit- comes from the Indo-European root skheid- for "split, divide, separate," thus shit is distantly related to schism and schist. (If you're wondering what a verb root for the act of separating one thing from another would have to do with excrement, it was in the sense of the body's eliminating its waste — "separating" from it, so to speak. Sort of the opposite of today's "getting one's shit together.")
http://www.snopes.com/language/acronyms/shit.asp
mouse
10-07-2005, 11:27 PM
This topic is hard to digest.
Sincerly:Colon Powel
batman2883
10-09-2005, 02:59 AM
damn im really throwd right now and i really need to throw a shit down the toilet right now.....damn i wish i handt drinken so damn much
http://www.amnh.org/exhibitions/expeditions/treasure_fossil/Treasures/Dodo/dodo2.gif
Guess what this is
ObiwanGinobili
10-09-2005, 02:50 PM
a dodo...
but if you drag it out it could sound like doodoo
:lol
batman2883
10-10-2005, 08:19 AM
doo doo, man speaking of which dont eat beef fajita tacos with cheese...damn talk about another dumper
sa_butta
10-10-2005, 12:16 PM
doo doo, man speaking of which dont eat beef fajita tacos with cheese...damn talk about another dumperHoly batshit, something may be wrong with your pooper.
batman2883
10-10-2005, 12:23 PM
Nah nothing is wrong with my poop, its just dude i cant take mexican food anymore, im tired of it already, im going on an all chinese food strike
sa_butta
10-10-2005, 12:34 PM
Nah nothing is wrong with my poop, its just dude i cant take mexican food anymore, im tired of it already, im going on an all chinese food strikeI was talking about your pooper not poop, so what are you goind to eat anymore?
batman2883
10-10-2005, 12:37 PM
I'm not touching mexican food again for as long as i live, unless its fake mexican like panchos
sa_butta
10-10-2005, 12:42 PM
I'm not touching mexican food again for as long as i live, unless its fake mexican like panchosDamn I havent had Panchos in a long time. Raise the flag for some more
food, hell yeah. I went to Hungry Farmer on Friday, had to send my steak back cause they overcooked it then I got a new one and it was great. But Me, my wife and my brother in law crapped like no tommorow when we got home. I feel sorry for whoever is on the other end of that toilet.
batman2883
10-10-2005, 12:47 PM
ha ha ha ha man i love panchos, they have great sopapillas, and dude the flautas are great, but the funny thing is, when you want more you raise a flag, but the flag is italian not mexican ha ha ha ha ha i always thought that was funny shit. Man on friday i had that bacon chicken ranch pizza from papa johns....i had the liquid shits for like 2 days
sa_butta
10-10-2005, 01:47 PM
My brother in law calls it the screaming shits. lol
And it is the Italian flag but, I think they just did the
Mexican flag without the logo in the middle since both
flags have the same color pattern.
SWC Bonfire
10-10-2005, 01:48 PM
a.k.a. "the trots" :lol
batman2883
10-10-2005, 02:06 PM
ha ha ha ha ha the splats
sa_butta
10-10-2005, 02:19 PM
http://www.moviewavs.com/cgi-bin/moviewavs.cgi?Austin_Powers=rise.wav
Untouchable1
10-10-2005, 03:00 PM
goes to show that your really not that important at your job ROOKIE......give me a call later..peace
batman2883
10-11-2005, 08:00 AM
Fuck you Jesse
Full Metal Jacket has the best Shit Quotes:
Private Cowboy: Don't shit me, man!
Private Joker: I wouldn't shit you. You're my favorite turd!
batman2883
10-11-2005, 08:10 AM
I actually like the episode of southpark where the kids find the brown note off a recorder, the note that when you hit it, it makes everyone shit
1Parker1
10-11-2005, 08:25 AM
Is this your new Quatro batman? :)
batman2883
10-11-2005, 08:45 AM
Something Like That
batman2883
10-11-2005, 08:46 AM
everyone has to take a dump at least twice a day...why not talk about it?
1Parker1
10-11-2005, 09:06 AM
^^Every woman also gets her period once a month...you don't hear us talking about it in threads^^ :)
batman2883
10-11-2005, 09:22 AM
actually yall did in the real women thread.....but shitting is shared by both the female and male sexes...whereas periods only cover one sex leaving out males.....
poop?
poop?
What are you 6 years old? :lol
SORRY BUT THIS MAKES ME LAUGH :lmao
batman2883
10-11-2005, 11:36 AM
This thread is some hot shit...fore real
Damn, soon this will be the turd most popular thread.
batman2883
10-11-2005, 11:38 AM
ha ha ha ha ha ha Spam that shit was funny
Damn, soon this will be the turd most popular thread.
:lol
BigDaddyMatty
10-11-2005, 11:59 AM
You know whats the worst? Going into a stall, and someone didn't flush. Seeing someone else's shit makes me want to vomit.
sa_butta
10-11-2005, 12:08 PM
You know whats the worst? Going into a stall, and someone didn't flush. Seeing someone else's shit makes me want to vomit.But I bet your proud of your own:lol
batman2883
10-11-2005, 12:25 PM
fuck that i hate working at a professional place and sometimes i walk into the stall and there is shit on the fucking lid...how the fuck can adults do that shit...fucking first of all how do you miss secondly clean up after yourself you sick bastards
ShoogarBear
10-11-2005, 12:52 PM
fuck that i hate working at a professional place and sometimes i walk into the stall and there is shit on the fucking lid
You mean the lid opens up????
1Parker1
10-11-2005, 12:58 PM
You mean the lid opens up????
:lol:lol
sa_butta
10-11-2005, 01:03 PM
fuck that i hate working at a professional place and sometimes i walk into the stall and there is shit on the fucking lid...how the fuck can adults do that shit...fucking first of all how do you miss secondly clean up after yourself you sick bastardsSorry about that, but I had to let someone else see that monster log.
batman2883
10-11-2005, 01:53 PM
I swear that shit is nasty people shiting on the lid of the toilet....and i once walked in and there was shit on the floor i was like son of a bitch
1Parker1
10-11-2005, 02:13 PM
Ok I am offically done opening this thread.
GROSS!!!!
Ok I am offically done opening this thread.
GROSS!!!!
Too much shit for you?
J/K :lol
batman2883
10-11-2005, 02:23 PM
cant handle the shit, eat some cheese
TheTruth
10-11-2005, 02:25 PM
in high school the coaches son shit in our shower. no one could ever prove it was him, but that little dude had something wrong with him mentally.
this is the 23rd most replied thread
batman2883
10-11-2005, 02:33 PM
in high school the coaches son shit in our shower. no one could ever prove it was him, but that little dude had something wrong with him mentally.
i can top this shit, one time we were partying at my friends apartment and one of my other friends brought his friend over and he had never drank like we do....we drink everclear like water this fool tried like 2 cups and was running down Culebra screaming the wasp people were chasing him....then to make matters worse he shows back up at 4 in the morning passes it out on the floor thinking the disaster was over....my friends woke up to find him naked in the kitchen...the dude took a shit right in the middle of the kitchen floor
sa_butta
10-11-2005, 02:35 PM
this is the 23rd most replied threadaint that some shit
batman2883
10-11-2005, 02:43 PM
did you know that corn can not be digested correctly thus the reason it always comes up in your dookie as a whole kernal sometimes
sa_butta
10-11-2005, 02:50 PM
did you know that corn can not be digested correctly thus the reason it always comes up in your dookie as a whole kernal sometimesBat we already had this discussion.
batman2883
10-11-2005, 02:56 PM
also blueberries and gummibears
sa_butta
10-11-2005, 02:57 PM
also blueberries and gummibearsI was not aware of that, so kiddies dont be alarmed if you have
rainbow colored shit.
batman2883
10-11-2005, 02:58 PM
i once shared a 10 lb bag of gummi bears with a group of friends and dude i saw whole gummy bears in my shit.. i was like damn
ShoogarBear
10-11-2005, 03:02 PM
did you know that corn can not be digested correctly
Or, as the Indians call it, maize.
Or, as the Indians call it, maize.
:lol That's some funny shit Shoog!!!!
batman2883
10-11-2005, 03:30 PM
ha ha ha ha ha fucking maize.....i prefer tortilla arina
batman2883
10-12-2005, 08:15 AM
Okay i got a new one, if your shit is blue....what the hell is wong?
sa_butta
10-12-2005, 08:31 AM
Okay i got a new one, if your shit is blue....what the hell is wong?:lol Wong, you ate chinese blue crab.
batman2883
10-12-2005, 08:33 AM
I've never had blue crab is it good?
sa_butta
10-12-2005, 08:42 AM
I've never had blue crab is it good?Neither have I, so I dont know.
batman2883
10-12-2005, 08:44 AM
I have a quick question, has anyone here sat in the 200 section at a spurs game at the SBC center? Is it worth actually getting tickets in that section or should i just watch it at home?
sa_butta
10-12-2005, 08:50 AM
I have a quick question, has anyone here sat in the 200 section at a spurs game at the SBC center? Is it worth actually getting tickets in that section or should i just watch it at home?Its really not that bad, It just feels like you are going to fall over. But the view is not too bad. Just try to get lowest available cause you may get an obstructed view from people walking by.
batman2883
10-12-2005, 08:57 AM
Its really not that bad, It just feels like you are going to fall over. But the view is not too bad. Just try to get lowest available cause you may get an obstructed view from people walking by.
The only good tickets i can find for the detroit game that are not pricey are like sec 208 row 12
sa_butta
10-12-2005, 11:53 AM
The only good tickets i can find for the detroit game that are not pricey are like sec 208 row 12Maybe you should try for a different game with better seats.
Staying on topic Dont use the shitters at the SBC.
batman2883
10-12-2005, 12:15 PM
Oh i never use the shitters at any arena....but im going to get some good seats to the pacer game and the sixers game regular season tickets, but the detroit game will be worth it right....or it wont?
NameDropper
10-12-2005, 01:30 PM
I heard there wasn't really a shitty seat in the SBC arena for Spurs games.
batman2883
10-12-2005, 01:39 PM
But in the 200 section if you fall your going to hit the damn court
sa_butta
10-12-2005, 01:52 PM
But in the 200 section if you fall your going to hit the damn courtThen why are you complaining about courtside seats. But for real thought any seat is a good seat at the SBC. Just go and support, you might try bringing the keg costume cause beers are pricey of course. And eat before you go cause food will put a hole in your pocket.
Batman..what kind of car do you drive?
Is it a Poop DeVille?
batman2883
10-12-2005, 02:26 PM
Then why are you complaining about courtside seats. But for real thought any seat is a good seat at the SBC. Just go and support, you might try bringing the keg costume cause beers are pricey of course. And eat before you go cause food will put a hole in your pocket.
WELL YEAH I KNOW THAT FOR A FACT, MY LAST GAME I WENT TO WAS IN DECEMBER LAST YEAR WHEN WE PLAYED DETROIT
sa_butta
10-12-2005, 02:32 PM
Campbells poop
batman2883
10-12-2005, 02:40 PM
sharted......its when you try to fart and shit comes out....man imagine if you had the squirts and sharted...it would drip down your leg...ewww
SWC Bonfire
10-12-2005, 02:41 PM
Batman..what kind of car do you drive?
Is it a Poop DeVille?
Hell, no. He's a student, so probably just some old poop-ty.
midgetonadonkey
10-12-2005, 02:45 PM
sharted......its when you try to fart and shit comes out....man imagine if you had the squirts and sharted...it would drip down your leg...ewww
That happened to me when I had food poisoning about 7 years ago. My ass was just leaking, it was crazy. A week in the hospital cured it right up.
batman2883
10-12-2005, 02:49 PM
damn that sucks i hope you sued that place....shit if shit was dripping down my leg id kick someones ass for making that happen
sa_butta
10-12-2005, 02:55 PM
damn that sucks i hope you sued that place....shit if shit was dripping down my leg id kick someones ass for making that happenBut if you kick their ass with shit on your leg you will make a bigger mess.
batman2883
10-12-2005, 02:57 PM
I would then proceed to shit on their face
SWC Bonfire
10-12-2005, 03:00 PM
But if you kick their ass with shit on your leg you will make a bigger mess.
A shick?
sa_butta
10-12-2005, 03:03 PM
I would then proceed to shit on their facethats what I call getting shit-faced.
batman2883
10-12-2005, 03:05 PM
Lol as long as they feel shitty for what they did
sa_butta
10-12-2005, 03:07 PM
http://www.moviewavs.com/cgi-bin/moviewavs.cgi?Austin_Powers_In_Goldmember=takeacra p.wav
Marklar MM
10-12-2005, 03:11 PM
Im not even going to watch that.
sa_butta
10-12-2005, 03:12 PM
Im not even going to watch that.lucky for you it is only a sound WAV., I would not post a vid of someone shitting, that would be shitty of me.
batman2883
10-12-2005, 03:22 PM
Lol I Would
Marklar MM
10-12-2005, 03:23 PM
Lol I Would
Well, your a shitty person to post shitty videos of shitty people sitting on the shitter shitting.
batman2883
10-12-2005, 03:25 PM
how shitty of you to say such a shitty thing you turd blaster
Marklar MM
10-12-2005, 03:26 PM
Hey, I just burgle the turds from the sewar.
batman2883
10-12-2005, 03:27 PM
you shit like the bird in scary movie 2.....
Poopy Longstockings
How Bout
Shitty Shitty Bang Bang
batman2883
10-12-2005, 03:30 PM
or shitti-ana jones....and the temple of lost urine
Marklar MM
10-12-2005, 03:30 PM
Mashitty
sa_butta
10-12-2005, 03:38 PM
Jeepers Crappers
sa_butta
10-12-2005, 03:40 PM
Close Encounters of the Turd Kind
batman2883
10-12-2005, 03:41 PM
Shitasia
Marklar MM
10-12-2005, 03:51 PM
Fartman: The Beginning
batman2883
10-12-2005, 03:51 PM
fartman ha ha thats good
Marklar MM
10-12-2005, 03:54 PM
The Craptastic Four
batman2883
10-12-2005, 03:55 PM
the shitations
Marklar MM
10-12-2005, 03:57 PM
Shit. I shat myself.
batman2883
10-12-2005, 03:59 PM
she shat on a turtle.....ha ha ha ha
Close Encounters of the Turd Kind
Forrest Dump
Marklar MM
10-12-2005, 04:14 PM
Turd Ferguson
sa_butta
10-12-2005, 04:15 PM
she shat on a turtle.....ha ha ha haI love that.
How bout Green Bay Quarterback
Brett Fart
http://www.porta-potty.com/sign.jpg
http://www.cs.wisc.edu/~rajwar/base/PICS/outhouse.jpg
two story outhouse
Hank Hill
10-12-2005, 04:20 PM
This poop thread ain't right
Marklar MM
10-12-2005, 04:22 PM
This poop thread ain't right
It has definitely gone shitty.
sa_butta
10-12-2005, 04:24 PM
Greatest Shits Live
sa_butta
10-12-2005, 04:33 PM
http://www.yttermera.se/reshosta/sprakguide/how_to_use_the_word_shit.html
http://www.yttermera.se/reshosta/sprakguide/how_to_use_the_word_shit.html
How to use the word "Shit"
Shit may just be the most powerful word in the English language.
You can be shit faced, be shit out of luck, or have shit for brains.
With a little effort you can get your shit together, find a place for your shit or decide to shit or get off the pot.
You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit and die.
You can shit or go blind, have a shit fit or just shit your life away.
People can be shit headed, shit brained, shit blinded, and shit over.
Some people know their shit while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola.
There are lucky shits, dumb shits, crazy shits, and sweet shits.
There is bull shit, and horse shit and chicken shit.
You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.
You can take a shit, give a shit, or serve shit on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep shit, or be happier than a pig in shit.
Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty.
Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit.
You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.
You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.
Sometimes you really need this shit and sometimes you don't want any shit at all.
Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you swim in a lake of shit and come out smelling like a rose.
When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of creation.
And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!
batman2883
10-13-2005, 07:56 AM
dude this is the first morning i didnt have to take a shit when i got to work....
Caddy Shack
"It's in the Crap Hole!!!!
batman2883
10-13-2005, 08:00 AM
in a famous quote from "The Crow"
Well shit, shit on me, shit on me....
batman2883
10-13-2005, 11:54 AM
Oh man im going to try and make it to maliks restraunt for lunch today i hope freaking get to
Arragontigo
10-13-2005, 12:06 PM
this thread smells like dookie
Arragontigo
10-13-2005, 04:52 PM
wedding crashers almost made me shit myself from laughing......
batman2883
10-13-2005, 05:45 PM
Wedding Crashers was a funny as movie
ALVAREZ6
10-13-2005, 06:04 PM
Speaking of shits, I took like 4 today. I have no idea why, it was crazy.
I also take a shit after school before football practice.
Just thought I'd share :) :D
batman2883
10-13-2005, 06:09 PM
man lately my shit has been liquid and it wont stop i think i have a viral infection or something
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