I can't seem to get chick peas to turn into Hummus

[SpursforSix]

I've bought several different brands and they're like whole peas. I can't find the mushy kind.

[clambake]

i think you're suppose to feed it to a certain monkey then collect it from the turds.

[pgardn]

I've bought several different brands and they're like whole peas. I can't find the mushy kind.

First insult them.

Then use a blender.

[I. Hustle]

I think because only women and gays eat that shit. Chick your drawers, you are either one or the other.

[SpursforSix]

I think because only women and gays eat that shit. Chick your drawers, you are either one or the other.

Man...hummus is good.

[Drachen]

I put the following into a small personal blender (like those little bullet ones)
1 can Bush's garbanzo beans mostly drained.
Fill about a third of the way with olive oil
Squeeze 1 lemon's with of juice
The cloves of garlic
Some salt


Blend that shit, taste, add more salt, olive oil, or garlic if you need.

Fucking delicious.

I don't need with tahini because every time I do I mess it upand make it too chalky.

[Drachen]

Btw, I'll buy the HEB brand garbanzo beans too. No difference

[Chinook]

Why make hummus when you can make falafel anyway?

[SpursforSix]

I put the following into a small personal blender (like those little bullet ones)
1 can Bush's garbanzo beans mostly drained.
Fill about a third of the way with olive oil
Squeeze 1 lemon's with of juice
The cloves of garlic
Some salt


Blend that shit, taste, add more salt, olive oil, or garlic if you need.

Fucking delicious.

I don't need with tahini because every time I do I mess it upand make it too chalky.

Sounds simple. I used the Tahini last time but will try without. When you say fill up 1/3 with olive oil, you mean 1/3 of the bullet? That sounds like a lot of olive oil. Did you mean "three" cloves of garlic?

[SpursforSix]

Why make hummus when you can make falafel anyway?

That seems way more labor intensive.

[101A]

You need tahini paste; otherwise it won't taste like hummus. Also, get a good (Vitamix, Blendtec) blender.

[I. Hustle]

Do you just dip the guys cawk in it and eat it like that? I'll pass.

[SpursforSix]

You need tahini paste; otherwise it won't taste like hummus. Also, get a good (Vitamix, Blendtec) blender.

That seems like overkill. To buy a $300 blender to mix up peas.

[TimDunkem]

I think because only women and gays eat that shit. Chick your drawers, you are either one or the other.
The fuck? Talk about insecure. lol Railing against hummus. :lol

[TimDunkem]

That seems like overkill. To buy a $300 blender to mix up peas.
Use a mortar and pestle.

[I. Hustle]

The fuck? Talk about insecure. lol Railing against hummus. :lol

Hummus. You might as well call it Cummus. Do you and your boyfriend eat it while watching This is Us?

[SpursforSix]

Use a mortar and pestle.

LOL. I think I'll be OK with something in between.

[DarrinS]

Maybe this channel has a recipe?

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR4s1DE9J4DHzZYXMltSMAg

[DJR210]

Use a mortar and pestle.

:lol 10th century terminology

He's in Texas, we use the molcajete down here bruh

[I. Hustle]

Maybe this channel has a recipe?

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR4s1DE9J4DHzZYXMltSMAg

I don't even have to click on it. I can already bet that it's two gay guys discussing gay party foods and one of them is in drag.

[Darth_Pelican]

Just buy the Hummus from your local Greek market. Chances are that theirs is going to be better than your attempt at doing it yourself. Plus it's less time consuming.

[TimDunkem]

Hummus. You might as well call it Cummus. Do you and your boyfriend eat it while watching This is Us?
Nah. I don't even like hummus, tbh. You're just an insecure moron. :lol

[TimDunkem]

:lol 10th century terminology

He's in Texas, we use the molcajete down here bruh

We use the term in kitchens all the time. It isn't outdated at all, actually.

But, yeah, I know. I live in San Antonio, man. I just assumed he's some whitey who wouldn't know what the fuck I meant, so I said mortar and pestle. Use "mocajete" with one of them and they look at you like you're crazy. :lol


LOL. I think I'll be OK with something in between.

Food processor then. You might even be able to use one of those small coffee grinders.


Just buy the Hummus from your local Greek market. Chances are that theirs is going to be better than your attempt at doing it yourself. Plus it's less time consuming.
Yeah, not true at all. If you know what you're doing and have the right ingredients, you'll make something superior to anything in the market easily.

[SpursforSix]

Use a mortar and pestle.

Do you think my mocajete would work?

[TimDunkem]

Sure, but you implied it would be too much work. :lol

Seriously though, food processor or spice/coffee grinder.

[TimDunkem]

Lol Homoerotic hummus railing and people perplexed by the use of mortar and pestle. Fucking nutcases around here.

Don't change, Spurstalk.

[140]

If you know what you're doing and have the right ingredients, you'll make something superior to anything in the market easily.
OP made a thread asking for help on spurstalk. Clearly he doesn't know what he's doing

[TimDunkem]

Good point. :lol

[SpursforSix]

Sure, but you implied it would be too much work. :lol

Seriously though, food processor or spice/coffee grinder.

I have some kind of Nutri Bullet or something. I'll give that a shot first. Although I'm not sure if it's made to get things to that smooth texture. Also got a regular blender which is what I used on the first batch years ago.

[SpursforSix]

OP made a thread asking for help on spurstalk. Clearly he doesn't know what he's doing


Good point. :lol

Look...I know enough not to ask for a basketball take. Or an opinion on religion. I've found ST to be pretty good for advice on movies, TV, music, and food. Plus, I don't have to sign up for some culinary message board or try to Google something. I can sit here and bag on someone's mom and then get a hummus recipe at the same time. If I tried that at Food Network, I'm pretty sure I'd get banned.

[TimDunkem]

I have some kind of Nutri Bullet or something. I'll give that a shot first. Although I'm not sure if it's made to get things to that smooth texture. Also got a regular blender which is what I used on the first batch years ago.

That could work. I don't have one myself. If it's small you might need to make multiple batches. If you need a smoother texture, try using a sieve with bits of flour to sort the large chunks then repeat the grinding process.

[SpursforSix]

That could work. I don't have one myself. If it's small you might need to make multiple batches. If you need a smoother texture, try using a sieve with bits of flour to sort the large chunks then repeat the grinding process.

Like after I blend it? Then run it through the sieve with the flour? I do have one of those high powered juicers. Would that be better than the Nutribullet? As far as the size, the Nutribullet is about 40 oz. So that seems big enough. The juicer is probably twice that at least.

[TimDunkem]

Like after I blend it? Then run it through the sieve with the flour? I do have one of those high powered juicers. Would that be better than the Nutribullet? As far as the size, the Nutribullet is about 40 oz. So that seems big enough. The juicer is probably twice that at least.
Depends on how much you want to make. 40oz is probably good enough.

Also, now that I think about it, you probably won't need the flour as most processors should break it down fine enough. The flour would just be to collect all the chunks. In this case, yes, grind the chickpeas, sieve, then grind again. It should be enough to get an adequately smooth texture.

[TimDunkem]

The most important steps, however, would be to rinse them, soak them (this can be done in advance overnight), and cook them in water (adding a small amount of baking soda can assist in softening them) . Also use a very small amount of water and some olive oil (likely a 1/3 cup of oil per 16oz would be good) as you're grinding.

Also, always use fresh dry chickpeas. Canned won't make very good hummus.

[SpursforSix]

The most important steps, however, would be to rinse them, soak them (this can be done in advance overnight), and cook them in water (adding a small amount of baking soda can assist in softening them) . Also use a very small amount of water and some olive oil (likely a 1/3 cup of oil per 16oz would be good) as you're grinding.

Also, always use fresh dry chickpeas. Canned won't make very good hummus.

Oh damn. Your instructions make more sense now. I was thinking you were on board with the canned beans. I think I will give it a shot though. I can see wanting to make as big as batch as possible though. Aight. Thanks for the comments.

[I. Hustle]

Nah. I don't even like hummus, tbh. You're just an insecure moron. :lol

Insecure because Hummus is for gay people and women? That's just stupid. Does your boyfriend know that you don't like hummus?

[I. Hustle]

Are you homos going to braid each others hair and do your nails too?

[benefactor]

I've seen this thing but never had the desire to try it tbh

[I. Hustle]

I've seen this thing but never had the desire to try it tbh

What? Gay porn?

[benefactor]

What? Gay porn?
:lol

[SpursforSix]

I've seen this thing but never had the desire to try it tbh

I don't get the hate from everyone. It's just a different culture's version of bean dip tbh.

[TimDunkem]

Insecure because Hummus is for gay people and women? That's just stupid. Does your boyfriend know that you don't like hummus?
Okay, this is getting weird...Did a hummus eating bully beat the shit out of you when you were a kid, or is this some desperate way to project your own homosexuality onto others? For all this talk about some food of all things being gay, you sure say a lot of homo shit.

Come out of the closet already, man. It's 2017. You're safe now. :lol

[DisAsTerBot]

insecure about bean dip? That's a new one

[TimDunkem]

Only on Spurstalk. Sad the desperate shit people say to sound cool on an Internet forum. :lol

[DeadlyDynasty]

Can you recommend a good cinnamon whiskey to go with it?

[I. Hustle]

Okay, this is getting weird...Did a hummus eating bully beat the shit out of you when you were a kid, or is this some desperate way to project your own homosexuality onto others? For all this talk about some food of all things being gay, you sure say a lot of homo shit.

Come out of the closet already, man. It's 2017. You're safe now. :lol

Wow, I don't know what you're about, dude but don't hit on me. You can let your boyfriend shove as much hummus up your ass to eat it out but leave me out of your fantasy.

[I. Hustle]

Can you recommend a good cinnamon whiskey to go with it?

LMAO

THIS!

[TimDunkem]

Fills the thread with homoerotic imagery.

Thinks other guys are hitting on him.

Keep projecting, brah. You'll be comfortable in your own skin one day. :lol

[I. Hustle]

Fills the thread with homoerotic imagery.

Thinks other guys are hitting on him.

Keep projecting, brah. You'll be comfortable in your own skin one day. :lol

It's pretty plain as day that you want the D. No need to project anything, pillow biter.

[TimDunkem]

Uh oh. The closet homo is mad. :lmao

"Pillow biter!!! :cry"

[I. Hustle]

Uh oh. The closet homo is mad. :lmao

"Pillow biter!!! :cry"

What am I mad about? If anything, I'm flattered but it's not going to happen.

I'm just stating the facts. I'm far from upset. You on the other hand got all up in arms when I started saying that hummus was gay party food. If it doesn't bother you or you don't believe it then why not let it go? You couldn't because I hurt your feelings.

Bene didn't get upset at the gay porn comment because he knows he's not gay. SFS just doesn't understand how someone doesn't like alternative bean dip. You though? You got all hurt that I called it gay and all but confirmed it.

LOL poor guy

[TimDunkem]

It's just odd the lengths you go to point out the homosexuality of a food of all things. All I did was point it out, then it was you that went on this crusade to prove how everyone is a homosexual but you.

You should add some of the homosexual shit you've said in this thread to that signature of yours. It would be fitting. Although...you might want to delete the whole thing completely if you want to keep up this straight guy facade. :lol

[SpursforSix]

What am I mad about? If anything, I'm flattered but it's not going to happen.

I'm just stating the facts. I'm far from upset. You on the other hand got all up in arms when I started saying that hummus was gay party food. If it doesn't bother you or you don't believe it then why not let it go? You couldn't because I hurt your feelings.

Bene didn't get upset at the gay porn comment because he knows he's not gay. SFS just doesn't understand how someone doesn't like alternative bean dip. You though? You got all hurt that I called it gay and all but confirmed it.

LOL poor guy

So...what is it about hummus that makes it gay? As opposed to bean dip? Is it the name..."hummus"? So if they changed the name to "vagblaster chickpea dip"...would that make it OK for you?

[I. Hustle]

It's just odd the lengths you go to point out the homosexuality of a food of all things. All I did was point it out, then it was you that went on this crusade to prove how everyone is a homosexual but you.

You should add some of the homosexual shit you've said in this thread to that signature of yours. It would be fitting. Although...you might want to delete the whole thing completely if you want to keep up this straight guy facade. :lol

What's there to delete? You're the one still going on and on about it. If you stopped then I wouldn't have anything to respond to. You can't bring yourself to though because of your anger.

I bet everything you typed was done while you had a cock in your mouth and a hulkbuster dildo in your ass. The green one with all the veins that retails for $49 you queer.

[I. Hustle]

So...what is it about hummus that makes it gay? As opposed to bean dip? Is it the name..."hummus"? So if they changed the name to "vagblaster chickpea dip"...would that make it OK for you?

vagblaster is going way over the top but you might have something by using the chickpea name instead. chick... pee

[TimDunkem]

Blah, blah, blah. More gay imagery, per usual.

By the way, you sure know a lot about dildos for being so straight. God damn. What a fag. :lol If you weren't planning on coming out, you just outed yourself right there.

[Drachen]

Sounds simple. I used the Tahini last time but will try without. When you say fill up 1/3 with olive oil, you mean 1/3 of the bullet? That sounds like a lot of olive oil. Did you mean "three" cloves of garlic?

I think it's a third of the way. Remember the garbanzo beans are already in there. If you think it's too much fill it less then add more as you need it. Yes I meant three

[Drachen]

You need tahini paste; otherwise it won't taste like hummus. Also, get a good (Vitamix, Blendtec) blender.

I have a Vitamix, but it's just too big unless I'm making for a party

[Drachen]

:lol 10th century terminology

He's in Texas, we use the molcajete down here bruh

It's Trump's America, we can't use that word anymore.

[Drachen]

Just buy the Hummus from your local Greek market. Chances are that theirs is going to be better than your attempt at doing it yourself. Plus it's less time consuming.

It's incredibly non time consuming. Takes me about 5 minutes

[Chucho]

We make about 3 pints of hummus and about 20 homemade flatbreads in about an hour.

[Chucho]

I prefer homemade hummus, wasn't a fan of it til the ol lady made some. Just never liked it from the store or at greek joints.

[DJR210]

It's Trump's America, we can't use that word anymore.

This is true... When i said "down here" I meant south of the wall

[I. Hustle]

Blah, blah, blah. More gay imagery, per usual.

By the way, you sure know a lot about dildos for being so straight. God damn. What a fag. :lol If you weren't planning on coming out, you just outed yourself right there.

So... I was kidding. I honestly don't like hummus but I don't really have anything against it. I figured that by describing a dildo and even giving the price of it you would catch on but you didn't. I can't really think of anything else that would make hummus gay so I am going to go ahead and let you know that I was joking.
My intention was really just to mess with SFS and I even sent him a pm to let him know I was joking. When you decided to jump in and argue I thought it would be fun to argue back.
Now you know and knowing is half the battle. Enjoy all the hummus you want and know that I don't think it's gay at all... unless of course you really do let someone eat it out of your ass. Then again, letting someone eat ANYTHING out of your ass is really gay it's not just hummus.