God Does Not Want 16 Kids

[Nbadan]

God Does Not Want 16 Kids
Arkansas mom gives birth to a whole freakin' baseball team. How deeply should you cringe?


Who are you to judge? Who are you to say that the more than slightly creepy 39-year-old woman from Arkansas who just gave birth to her 16th child yes that's right 16 kids and try not to cringe in phantom vaginal pain when you say it, who are you to say Michelle Duggar is not more than a little unhinged and sad and lost?

And furthermore, who are you to suggest that her equally troubling husband -- whose name is, of course, Jim Bob and he's hankerin' to be a Republican senator and try not to wince in sociopolitical pain when you say that -- isn't more than a little numb to the real world, and that bringing 16 hungry mewling attention-deprived kids (and she wants more! Yay!) into this exhausted world zips right by "touching" and races right past "disturbing" and lurches its way, heaving and gasping and sweating from the karmic armpits, straight into "Oh my God, what the hell is wrong with you people?"

But that would be, you know, mean. Mean and callous to suggest that this might be the most disquieting photo you see all year, this bizarre Duggar family of 18 spotless white hyperreligious interchangeable people with alarmingly bad hair, the kids ranging in ages from 1 to 17, worse than those nuked Smurfs in that UNICEF commercial and worse than all the horrific rubble in Pakistan and worse than the cluster-bomb nightmare that is Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise having a child as they suck the skin from each other's Scientological faces and even worse than that huge 13-foot python which ate that six-foot alligator and then exploded.

(snip)

Is it wrong to notice how all the Duggar kids' names start with the letter J (Jeremiah and Josiah and Jedediah and Jesus, someone please stop them), and that if you study the above photo (or the even more disturbing family Web site) too closely you will become rashy and depressed and you will crave large quantities of alcohol and loud aggressive music to deflect the creeping feeling that this planet is devolving faster than you can suck the contents from a large bong? But I'm not judging.

more:San Francisco Gate (http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/gate/archive/2005/10/19/notes101905.DTL)

This part is too good...


Perhaps the point is this: Why does this sort of bizarre hyperbreeding only seem to afflict antiseptic megareligious families from the Midwest? In other words -- assuming Michelle and Jim Bob and their massive brood of cookie-cutter Christian kidbots will all be, as the charming photo suggests, never allowed near a decent pair of designer jeans or a tolerable haircut from a recent decade, and assuming that they will all be tragically encoded with the values of the homophobic asexual Christian right -- where are the forces that shall help neutralize their effect on the culture? Where is the counterbalance, to offset the damage?

http://www.jimbob.info/images/2004family__duggar.jpg

[Dos]

it's free country people can have ever big a family they want.. and can raise their kids with their own religious values... isn't it.. last I heard it was...

[Spurminator]

What a hateful column. I mean, wow.

As long as they're not sapping taxpayer money and can afford to raise 16 kids, then let them. Is this a bigger problem than an inner city single mother with 5 welfare kids?

[xrayzebra]

What is the point you are trying to make. That is wrong for them to have this many kids? Only if they are Christian? Only because they are White? Guess she should have got the morning after pill, is that your point? Come on make a point. I see nothing wrong with the folks having all the kids they want. So long as they take care of them. Or maybe you think the folks who kill them before they are born or even after are doing the right thing.

[Extra Stout]

Yes, the idiot cracker monkeys breed a lot.

If the liberals don't like it, their only recourse is to get to fucking right away -- and not the recreational, consequences-free fucking for which liberals have fought so hard for 40 years -- I mean, good old-fucking reproductive sex the way God/Gaia/nameless random powers of chance intended it.

You can't go get an abortion every time you miss your period because you're worried that caring for children might interfere with your cram-packed protest march schedule, and then complain about the lack of leftist kids out there.

P.S. How does the San Francisco Chronicle get away with publishing that anyway? Yes, I know "idiot cracker monkey" is a hateful slur, and I'm not claiming some moral high ground. But, man, could you imagine the firestorm if that had been written about a black or Hispanic family with 16 kids with that kind of tone? Morford would have been fired immediately.

[Extra Stout]

Oh, wait, Morford apparently wants to find a way to limit how many kids people can have to save the environment. Or find something else to do with them.

Why is it that lefties keep alluding to genocide as a way to solve social/political/environmental problems?

Just come out and say it, Dan. The solution to America's problems is to exterminate all of its white evangelical Christians. That seems to be Morford's solution.

[mookie2001]

extra stout youre an idiot
republicans have 16 kids
and liberals have none because they get abortions all the time...


how can anyone not agree its creepy to say someone has 16 kids?
they might be family of the year
but If I would hear that, i'd be like
"what the shit?"

[j-6]

More Duggar family fun:

http://www.jimbob.info/

[xrayzebra]

extra stout youre a idiot
republicans have 16 kids
and liberals have none because they get abortions all the time...


how can anyone not agree its creepy to say someone has 16 kids?
they might be family of the year
but If I would hear that, i'd be like
"what the shit?"

At one time it wasn't an unusual thing to have that many kids. They were an asset. Now days it isn't usual, but again I say: you can afford it and want them, have at it.

[Marcus Bryant]

extra stout youre an idiot
republicans have 16 kids
and liberals have none because they get abortions all the time...


how can anyone not agree its creepy to say someone has 16 kids?
they might be family of the year
but If I would hear that, i'd be like
"what the shit?"

How do you not grasp that XStout was being facetious?

[mookie2001]

I did

[Marcus Bryant]

Anyways, the article was a bit over the top; a caricature of itself.

[Marcus Bryant]

I did


Didn't seem like you did.

[mookie2001]

i was serious
I've never seen any liberals with babies
theyre all aborted

[Marcus Bryant]

I don't really care that much either way. That family's birth rate is over the top as are the generalizations made by the columnist.

[Shelly]

Eh..if they can afford it without tapping into the system, then I don't care. I've got to give them credit, though. I have my hands full with 2.

[Cant_Be_Faded]

It is totally weird to have 16 kids, and that picture does give me the heebie jeebies, not because of whiteness, conservation, rightness, or anything else other than the fact that they're just so many of similar looking people staring at me.

I feel sorry for the parents sex life though (lol)
If they are enjoying the kids, then so be it.

[mookie2001]

godbless America and George W. Bush where we can families like this

[Marklar MM]

They all look alike.

[Shelly]

It is totally weird to have 16 kids, and that picture does give me the heebie jeebies, not because of whiteness, conservation, rightness, or anything else other than the fact that they're just so many of similar looking people staring at me.

I feel sorry for the parents sex life though (lol)
If they are enjoying the kids, then so be it.

If I didn't know any better, I'd think they were from Utah! :lol

[Vashner]

I agree.

[Kori Ellis]

My cousin has a lot of kids. Not quite 16, but 9 or 10. She lives in Oregon and homeschools them all. And says she's not going to stop giving birth until "God stops her" from getting pregnant. Do I think it's weird? Yes, a little bit. But it work for her and her family. Who are we to judge? They aren't doing anything wrong.

[Cant_Be_Faded]

My cousin has a lot of kids. Not quite 16, but 9 or 10. She lives in Oregon and homeschools them all. And says she's not going to stop giving birth until "God stops her" from getting pregnant. Do I think it's weird? Yes, a little bit. But it work for her and her family. Who are we to judge? They aren't doing anything wrong.


My 9th/12th grade Theology teacher insisted that he and his wife only practiced 'natural contraception' and that it would ridiculously immoral to use any kind of unnatural contraception.

They did have a kid at a realatively late age, but only like 3 or 4 kids total.

Either they never did it that often or he was a fuckin liar.

[Shelly]

I knew two families when I lived in Ohio that had 9 kids each.

[Cant_Be_Faded]

Just about 1.5-2 generations ago, families with 4-7 kids were common, so 9 isn't too far of a stretch

but 16?
In 2005?
Jeeze
They might as well start their own country

[Shelly]

The mother needs to be nominated for What Not To Wear. What's up with the peter pan collar?

[ALVAREZ6]

Damn....16?????? Wow.



My friends is 1 of 8 kids, and everytime I'm at his house, it's a freaking zoo. Plus, not only all those kids are there, but all of those kids' friends. He calls his house the "day care center." It's the perfect name for it.




But freakin 16????






On a side not, whoever wrote this article is an asshole.

[jochhejaam]

They've had a special about the Dugger's on the discovery/health channel for the last hour. This family is so organized it's crazy! Probably on of the more functional families I've seen.

[SpursWoman]

It's definitely odd in this day and age, but as long as they are all healthy, happy and well taken care of I don't see how it's any one's business.

I've done pretty well not killing my own two without adding more gasoline to the fire. :)

Could you imagine having to take 16 kids to Walmart? :wow :wow

[Cant_Be_Faded]

Could you imagine 16 kids growing and exiting your body

[SpursWoman]

You'd think after 6 or 7 she'd have a hard time keeping them in without them just falling right out. :spin

I know what 2 did to my body ... I couldn't even begin to imagine what 16 would do. http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/ohwell.gif

[Cant_Be_Faded]

You'd think after 6 or 7 she'd have a hard time keeping them in without them just falling right out. :spin

I know what 2 did to my body ... I couldn't even begin to imagine what 16 would do. http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/ohwell.gif


exactly

that's probably the 2nd or 3rd reason why it's so weird

[Rick Von Braun]

I stay almost every year when I go skiing to Mammoth, CA with these folks:

http://www.reversecreeklodge.com/w_m_title2.jpg


I have known them for the last 7 years. They own and operate the Reverse Creek lodge in June Lake (15 minutes north of Mammoth). They are a very nice family with 15 kids total. David and Denise Naaden have all the kids doing home schooling, and they are very organized (the only way you can rise a familiy that big!).

They have some religious believes that I don't share, but they are wonderful people. I don't see a problem with big families as long as the kids get a good quality of life.

[mookie2001]

weird how you don't see many agnostic familes with 15+ kids

[Spam]

You'd think after 6 or 7 she'd have a hard time keeping them in without them just falling right out. :spin

I know what 2 did to my body ... I couldn't even begin to imagine what 16 would do. http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/ohwell.gif

Lucky for me that would not be a problem.

[Cant_Be_Faded]

Why are all the families with many kids very very religious?

Why are all the kids always homeschooled?


What if aliens are taking over

[exstatic]

The mother needs to be nominated for What Not To Wear. What's up with the peter pan collar?

:lol:rollin Get out of my head, Shelly! Damn, I watched the TV special too, and my main reaction was "Those poor girls!". Home schooling? OK. Those "Home clothes" gotta go, though. Fucking nightmare Von Trapp curtain duds....

[Spam]

I'm sure they have some great Spam recipes.

[scott]

http://www.jimbob.info/images/2004family__duggar.jpg

For anyone who has ever read "Wrinkle in Time"... does this remind you of the fifth dimension?

[cecil collins]

Why is it that homeschooled people often have an inbred look to them? I don't care what they do, but I do think they are crazy. Poor kids, they probably won't ever find out how little they know. I assume the parents will force feed their beliefs upon them, and make a bunch of little robots, hopefully they will at least be good people.

[gtownspur]

i personally think having so many kids is not the best idea.

but to condemn them for doing so is very elitist. Its as if having very traditional values is creepy now a days. I guess having a large group of people who share your goals and values there to love you everyday is so wrong...so creepy... so non human. That just cant be. I mean the model american family should be dysfunctional and all. YOu know with Liberal parenting, and unruly kids who are rotten spoiled, neglect towards the elderly family members, one mistress for each spouse and a possible coming out of the closet of at least one family member.. i mean those are things you cant go w/o. Cuz if no one on your family is lesbian or gay or an activist, criminal, adulterer, man your missing out on a real family.

Everything is so upside down in our media culture. lEt me give you an example.

If a liberal woman saw a homemaker who loves her husband devoutly and focuses all her attention on her kids and makes meals... Instead of thinking "wow, i admire that woman!" the token liberal woman would sound off cliches like "How can that woman truly live like that.. she's satan!! "I bet her husband is a very insecure man, ...unlike my SNAG limp wrist liberal husband!" "That woman is supernatural, i couldnt do that, i can't be the perfect wife..i'm not perfect :princess "-- .. :rolleyes no one is asking you to wear aprons or make apple pie dessert and lemon cake dessert for every meal. Society is not demanding you to look pretty all the time, drive a Tahoe, have the best interior design, the best and brightest schools for your kids, to drive your kids to soccer, ballet, violin lessons, and GLobal warming camp. Kids and fathers just want you to be there for them more often and have them as the focus of your life.. Something i thought women chose to do when they married and decided to have kids!!! (this also applies to fathers,.. BTW!)

So quit your bitching and give the woman a break. Its her choice, she's happy, their family is happy. Dont fuck it up!

[gtownspur]

Why is it that homeschooled people often have an inbred look to them? I don't care what they do, but I do think they are crazy. Poor kids, they probably won't ever find out how little they know. I assume the parents will force feed their beliefs upon them, and make a bunch of little robots, hopefully they will at least be good people.


Yeah we should instead give them pubilc education... :lol
because public school is like essential for socialization in real life.. (Cecil collins and NBAdan being an anomaly in this)


here are the 10 ten reasons to take inbred willie away from homeshcooling and into the most effective, and disciplined institution in the laaaannnnddd!!!!
PUBLIC SCHOOLING.

1.They have corn bread and meatloaf, and if your lucky they let you have chocolate milk. :elephant

2. You dont have to worry about jacking off in next to your other 15 siblings sharing the same bed.. You could get tremendous wrinkled titty sex with your prude English teacher,

3. You get Phys ed.,the brightes waste of tax dollars... who wants to play tetherball!!

4.You learn that all of earth's fresh bodies of water will dry up because of the whole in the ozone. By the time you turn 18 the U.S. will cease to exist because of global warming, Nucleur holocaust, and republicans.

5.You'll learn how to store jolly green giant, beef jerky and gallon water for the onslaught of the 20th centuries greatest villian... ACID RAIN. :drunk

6.Why stay homeschooled and be indoctrinated by conservative idealogy. You need an environment where you will learn to think on you own......
(Disclaimer: Liberal indoctrination while still a form of indoctrination is not indoctrination. Indoctrination is evil. Its the second person of the evil trinity of Tom Delay)

7. You will learn how to be hip and look cool becuase there are alot of cool hip posers in public school. Who needs creativity.

8.If you are destined to be unsuccesful and a dissapointment to your name you will be worshiped in high school. but if you to high school to learn and be the next bill gates, or greenspan.. man you will be stuffed in your own very own locker! :elephant

9. after graduating high school you will go to college and hear your scarf wearing liberal proffesor tell you that you were conservatively indoctrinated about everything from history to literature from guess who... your own liberal public school teachers. Damned if you don't, damned if you do. Well on the bright side, you will learn that everything is relative and what you do know you dont know.. know what i'm saying? :huh .. anyway you'll go on to major in theater and bone the nerdy coed for good grades and launching your carreer as a narcasistic effimanate metro affleck and damon prick who wants to run for senate after realizing when you finally became sober you thought politics were cool.

10.did i mention corn bread.

[travis2]

Oh yeah, you liberals are just soooooo fucking compassionate and tolerant...

[Marcus Bryant]

Why is it that homeschooled people often have an inbred look to them? I don't care what they do, but I do think they are crazy. Poor kids, they probably won't ever find out how little they know. I assume the parents will force feed their beliefs upon them, and make a bunch of little robots, hopefully they will at least be good people.

^
You know, everyone is full of shit. People like to pretend to be open-minded and tolerant and what not but at the end of the day, they're human like everyone else. If kids are raised with a belief system, one either 'conservative' or 'liberal' in nature, then they are indeed going to see the world through a particular lens and be resistant to certain concepts.

The left likes to paint the right as intolerant but the left is just as guilty. The column above makes it abundantly clear.

I don't care if the woman bears 20 kids.

[Extra Stout]

The left likes to paint the right as intolerant but the left is just as guilty. The column above makes it abundantly clear.Well, it is Mark Morford, who's out there even for San Francisco.

Besides, people who live in SF aren't really Americans. I don't know why we don't just spin off a few of those counties as the People's Republic of California. They have nothing in common with us.

[cecil collins]

^
You know, everyone is full of shit.
You do include yourself in this correct?

[Crookshanks]

Okay what's better? This family who has 16 kids, but seem to be happy, healthy, well-adjusted and not on the welfare rolls - or the woman who was only 23 and had 3 kids (she was only 17 when she had the first one), no husband and was living in a shelter and was so mentally unbalanced that she tossed her kids off a pier in San Francisco?

Liberals claim to be tolerant but they are the most intolerant, hateful people around!

[Extra Stout]

Okay what's better? This family who has 16 kids, but seem to be happy, healthy, well-adjusted and not on the welfare rolls - or the woman who was only 23 and had 3 kids (she was only 17 when she had the first one), no husband and was living in a shelter and was so mentally unbalanced that she tossed her kids off a pier in San Francisco?

Liberals claim to be tolerant but they are the most intolerant, hateful people around!Hmm... what do Morford and the schizophrenic child-killing lady have in common?

San Francisco! That socialist utopia! Why haven't we forced them to secede yet?

[smeagol]

:vomit to the writer of that article.

Dan, you found it funny?

Sad, dude, sad.