SpurPadre
02-07-2019, 12:48 PM
Pop: Why are we recording this?
RC: So people can't say we didn't even try. (finishes downing a bottle of Pop's stash of Pinot Noir)
Pop: Who gives a fuck what people think we did or did not do?
RC: I know but come on, humor me.
Pop: Ok, fuck it. Let's do this. Who do we call first?
RC: Random draw...ok, we got the Lakers. Give me the phone, I'll take this one. (Calls GM Rob Pelinka)
Rob: Hello? Spurs?
RC: Yeah, hey Rob...this is RC. We're so sorry to bother you but, ah shucks, we thought we'd throw you a trade offer.
Rob: Uh...
Lebron yelling in the background: Who the fuck you think you're talking to?! Give me the fucking phone!
Lebron: Who's this?
RC: Oh, hi Lebron, this is RC Buford. Just calling to make a trade offer. I forgot you're the REAL GM.
Lebron: Hey RC. I forgive you. Ok, give me LMA, my son Murray, and your two first round picks for Rondo, Stephenson, Beasley, Josh Hart, and Tyson Chandler.
RC: Hmmm. Hold on a second, please, King.
Hey, Pop! Lebron is offering us Rondo, Stephenson, Beasley, Josh Hart and Tyson Chandler and all we have to give up is LMA, Murray, and both our first round picks! Isn't that great?! The money works out!
Pop: RC, the Pinot got to you. Turn him down. Don't you like what we have now?
RC: Yeah, you're right. My bad. (gets back on the phone)
Hey Lebron, you know what, we're good.
Lebron: Ok, tell Pop I think he's the greatest coach in the history of sports. I'm gonna call the Bucks and ask them for Giannis.
RC: Sure thing, King. Goodbye.
Pop: Ok, are we done now?
RC: No, we should make one more call...for shits and giggles.
Pop: Fuck. Ok. I'll take this one. I'll call the Bucks' GM Jon Horst.
RC: Oh, because of Bud?! Great idea!
Pop: (Calls the Bucks) Hey Jon, this is Pop. Would you like to make a deal with us?
Jon: Sure. We'll give you Khris Middleton and Tony Snell for Bertans, Belinelli, Forbes, Walker, Cunningham and a first round pick.
Pop: No, I just recently filed Adult Adoption papers for Forbes. He's untouchable. How about Bertans, Marco, Dante for Middleton and your first round pick?
Jon: If you weren't Pop, I'd say fuck you but I'll just settle for no out of respect. Goodbye, Pop.
Pop: Ok, RC. Satisfied now?
RC: Yes, I like our team.
Pop: Me too. Let's drink to that, tbh.
RC: So people can't say we didn't even try. (finishes downing a bottle of Pop's stash of Pinot Noir)
Pop: Who gives a fuck what people think we did or did not do?
RC: I know but come on, humor me.
Pop: Ok, fuck it. Let's do this. Who do we call first?
RC: Random draw...ok, we got the Lakers. Give me the phone, I'll take this one. (Calls GM Rob Pelinka)
Rob: Hello? Spurs?
RC: Yeah, hey Rob...this is RC. We're so sorry to bother you but, ah shucks, we thought we'd throw you a trade offer.
Rob: Uh...
Lebron yelling in the background: Who the fuck you think you're talking to?! Give me the fucking phone!
Lebron: Who's this?
RC: Oh, hi Lebron, this is RC Buford. Just calling to make a trade offer. I forgot you're the REAL GM.
Lebron: Hey RC. I forgive you. Ok, give me LMA, my son Murray, and your two first round picks for Rondo, Stephenson, Beasley, Josh Hart, and Tyson Chandler.
RC: Hmmm. Hold on a second, please, King.
Hey, Pop! Lebron is offering us Rondo, Stephenson, Beasley, Josh Hart and Tyson Chandler and all we have to give up is LMA, Murray, and both our first round picks! Isn't that great?! The money works out!
Pop: RC, the Pinot got to you. Turn him down. Don't you like what we have now?
RC: Yeah, you're right. My bad. (gets back on the phone)
Hey Lebron, you know what, we're good.
Lebron: Ok, tell Pop I think he's the greatest coach in the history of sports. I'm gonna call the Bucks and ask them for Giannis.
RC: Sure thing, King. Goodbye.
Pop: Ok, are we done now?
RC: No, we should make one more call...for shits and giggles.
Pop: Fuck. Ok. I'll take this one. I'll call the Bucks' GM Jon Horst.
RC: Oh, because of Bud?! Great idea!
Pop: (Calls the Bucks) Hey Jon, this is Pop. Would you like to make a deal with us?
Jon: Sure. We'll give you Khris Middleton and Tony Snell for Bertans, Belinelli, Forbes, Walker, Cunningham and a first round pick.
Pop: No, I just recently filed Adult Adoption papers for Forbes. He's untouchable. How about Bertans, Marco, Dante for Middleton and your first round pick?
Jon: If you weren't Pop, I'd say fuck you but I'll just settle for no out of respect. Goodbye, Pop.
Pop: Ok, RC. Satisfied now?
RC: Yes, I like our team.
Pop: Me too. Let's drink to that, tbh.