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scott
07-16-2003, 05:11 PM
Exclusive for FullSportPress.com, not to be reposted without exress written permission.

SCOOP (http://www.anthonycartermustdie.com)

Spurs Left Holding Own Dicks As Teams Re-Tool

Rafael Hythloday - AP - San Antonio, TX. As the official NBA free agent signing period got underway today, the reigning champion San Antonio Spurs, along with their near $18 million dollars of salary cap space, are left wondering what happened.

With their second championship in five years under their belts and enough cap room to attract a max level free agent and a possibly a second tier player as well, the Spurs have been spurned by all the top FAs, and were forced to settle for clumsy white boy Rasho Nesterovich.

The Spurs were originally turned down by Jason Kidd, who may insiders felt was a near lock to wear the silver and black for the next 6 years. Instead, Jason has a new center back in New Jersey. Word is that wife Joumana Kidd vetoed any possible relocation to San Antonio when Clear Channel communications told the up and coming journalist the best they could do was offer her the drive-time slot on a local Tejano station.

Not even bothering to try the Puffy Taco combo plate, Jermaine O'Neal then cancelled his trip to San Antonio, prefering to stay in tropical Indianapolis.

Now, just as it appeared the Spurs would lasso in a second superstar to ensure the Spurs would be title-favorites for years to come, Elton Brand has chosen to also say "Thanks, but no thanks" to the jewel of South Texas in favor of Miami and a handful of chicks in bikinis.

With the Spur's treasured potato eating honkey, Rasho Nesterrible, all wrapped up, the Spurs now set their sights on Clippers Swingman and High Times Magazine Spokesperson, Lamar Odom. But things don't look good on that front either.

When asked if he'd consider lining up to the two-time MVP in San Antonio, Lamar Odom was reported as saying "I'd rather get another league suspension than have to play more than two games a year in that hellhole."

Without even being asked to elaborate, Odom went on to say "Why would I want to waste my career away in that flea-infested two bit podunk town? Until that city gets more development on the southside, no big time playa will want to be there. When you consider that (San Antonio) is filled with a bunch of pregenant pre-teen sluts, the only major free agent I can think of that would ever consider the Spurs would be Kobe Bryant."

At least that gives the Spurs hope for next year.

ducks
07-16-2003, 05:13 PM
**** ODOM THEN

Morphgizmo
07-16-2003, 05:13 PM
Classic!!! :lol

















:depressed

CosmicCowboyXXX
07-16-2003, 05:17 PM
LMAO!!!!!!!!:lol

OutFuckingStanding!!!!!!

Shelly
07-16-2003, 05:17 PM
:lol

ImFromBeijing
07-16-2003, 05:19 PM
Another classic piece of work!

Good job, my man! :wacko

LittleGeneral
07-16-2003, 05:22 PM
Almost as funny was ducks' response.

scott
07-16-2003, 05:36 PM
Mr. Hythloday is a well respected journalist.

Spurminator
07-16-2003, 05:40 PM
Almost as funny was ducks' response.

:rollin

Rick Von Braun
07-16-2003, 06:02 PM
LOL :rollin

The BEST part is that Ducks posted part's of scott's article as a credible source in SR.com

feedback.woai.com/ubb/ult...3;t=016173 (http://feedback.woai.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=33;t=016173)

Oh my God, my stomach hurts of soooooo much laughing

:rollin :rollin

Great job guys!

-R

adidas11
07-16-2003, 06:16 PM
:lol :rollin :p

Shelly
07-16-2003, 06:18 PM
:lol

sorry, ducks but....:lol

CrazyOne
07-16-2003, 06:21 PM
Somebody post a link there :eyebrow

CosmicCowboyXXX
07-16-2003, 06:26 PM
even better is that Dusty said he already knew that but since it was insider info he couldn't tell anyone...:wink

50 Cent
07-16-2003, 06:33 PM
ROTFLMFAO @ Ducks :lol :rollin

scott
07-16-2003, 06:38 PM
Dammit Ducks, don't be posting my shit at SR.com

CrazyOne
07-16-2003, 06:43 PM
Man, they already nuked the thread... what a joke of a board...

scott
07-16-2003, 06:45 PM
I went to the site Ducks posted this on and asked that since this was written exclusively for FullSportPress (which of course it really wasn't until I just decided it was) they either delete the thread or give credit to the reporting site via a link.

They chose to delete the thread.

SpursWoman
07-16-2003, 06:45 PM
OMG, ROFLMFAO!!!!!!



:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

SpursWoman
07-16-2003, 06:50 PM
ducks, I love you, but are you by any chance related to clubalien?




:lol

CosmicCowboyXXX
07-16-2003, 06:53 PM
or Buddy?:lol

CosmicCowboyXXX
07-16-2003, 06:54 PM
us treefuckers gotta stick together...:wink

Admiral
07-16-2003, 06:57 PM
ROFL!!!!!!!!!! :lol :rollin

Excellent piece of work, scott. This definitely belongs in the "Classic Threads" section after it runs its course.

Jimcs50
07-16-2003, 06:59 PM
"Holding their own dicks???" I would not want to hold anyone else's dick...so what is wrong with holding your own dick???? Scott, is that a bad thing IYO?

scott
07-16-2003, 07:01 PM
If it meant he'd be on our team, I'd have no problem with Pop holding Elton Brand's dick.

Jimcs50
07-16-2003, 07:03 PM
Scott, you might want to check with Pop about that, and Elton too for that matter. :)

CosmicCowboyXXX
07-16-2003, 07:05 PM
well Jim...if you need it EXPLAINED to you...

http://wildcrazy.com/Funnypics/spankdummies.jpg

Jimcs50
07-16-2003, 07:23 PM
CC, I said it is ok to hold one's own dick, Scott's topic intimates that it is a bad thing...get it?

SpursWoman
07-16-2003, 09:18 PM
I have a solid 137 responses to the three of you, but I'm biting my tongue on this one.

ShoogarBear
07-17-2003, 12:37 AM
Right, like that isn't a straight line, too.

SpursWoman
07-17-2003, 12:47 AM
:wink




http://www.danbala.com/dirck/obvious.jpg

LittleGeneral
07-17-2003, 01:33 AM
:lol @ducks

I wonder if he'll be back in here after falling for that and then posting it at SR without citing the source.

Pretty embarrassing. :lol

RuffnReadyOzStyle
07-17-2003, 03:11 AM
Nice work scott!

Pity it's so farkin true... I still can't believe how our team has been dissed by FAs. Rest of the NBA, get a clue!

TastesLikeChicken
07-17-2003, 03:53 AM
I don't see what's so damn funny! I personally wanted Odom. :wink

MI21
07-17-2003, 04:16 AM
:lol
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:lol @ Ducks. I'm not sure you will ever get over this mistake...:)

jester1525
07-17-2003, 06:19 AM
If it meant he'd be on our team, I'd have no problem with Mouse holding Elton Brand's dick.





:wacko

LittleGeneral
07-17-2003, 11:21 AM
MI21, the sad thing is he probably doesn't even understand what exactly the mistake was.

scott
07-18-2003, 01:45 PM
Judging by his "what happened to my Lamar Odom quote thread" at the other site- I have a feeling ducks still isn't getting it.