Women - As explained by engineers

[tlongII]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v513/tlongII/women.jpg

[tlongII]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v513/tlongII/women1.jpg

[tlongII]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v513/tlongII/women2.jpg

[Marklar MM]

I wish I could read these damn things.

[tlongII]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v513/tlongII/women3.jpg

[nkdlunch]

can't read jack shit

[tlongII]

The first one is unreadable, but the rest should be fine. I don't know how to make the first one bigger?

[Jimcs50]

The first one is unreadable, but the rest should be fine. I don't know how to make the first one bigger?


You have been wanting to make something "bigger" your whole life.


:)

[tlongII]

Hey Jim!

Can I borrow 800 bucks?

[SpursWoman]

HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION SHEET
MATERIALS SAFETY DATA SHEET
WOMEN - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ELEMENT: Women
SYMBOL: Wo

DISCOVERER: Adam

ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40-200kg

OCCURRENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Surface usually covered in painted film.
2. Boils at nothing; freezes without known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields if pressure applied in correct places.


CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones.

2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.

3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.

4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly by saturation in alcohol.

5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES:

1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.

2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.

3. Very effective cleaning agent.

TESTS:

1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.

2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

HAZARDS:

1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.

2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.

================================================== ==============

Here's the "mate" to the above "data sheet".

ELEMENT: MAN

ATOMIC WEIGHT: Accepted as 170, known to vary from 98 to 360

SYMBOL: EGO

DISCOVERER: Eve. Discovered by accident one day when she had a craving for ribs

OCCURANCE: Large quantities in all populated areas. Highly concentrated deposits at all sporting events and areas known as "singles bars". Exteremly low quantities can be found in any location where cleaning up is required.(See scut work. See also Women and Slave Labor)

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1) Surface often covered with hair-bristly in some areas, soft in others.

2) Boils when inconvenienced, freezes when faced with Logic & Common Sense.

3) Melts if treated like a God.

4) Can cause headaches and severe body aches; handle with extreme caution.

5) Specimens can be found in various states ranging from deeply sensitive to extremely thick.

6) Becomes stubborn and unyielding when pressure is applied; yields only when subtlety, subterfuge, flattery are applied.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

1) Is repelled by concentrated quantities of precious and semi-precious metals and stones (See Jewelery Store). However, is attracted to small quantities of these when viewed worn against the skin of a woman. It is believed woman's skin combines with the aforementioned to create a highly magnetic attraction for this element.

2) May explode spontaneously if wallet is opened.

3) Requires copious quantities of substances known as attention, reassurance, and stroking.

4) When saturated with Alcohol will be fairly inert and will repel most other elements.

5) Is repelled by most household appliances and common household cleansers.

6) Is repelled by small children clothed in diapers, particularly those of the malodorous variety.

7) Is rendered non-functional when confronted with the items in #5 & #6.

8) Is neutral to common courtesy and fairness.

9) Is impervious to embrassment.

10) Most powerful embittering and aggravating agent known to woman.

USES:

1) Can be used to assist in moving heavy objects and other heavy labor.

2) Is capable of causing vast amounts of physical pleasure.

3) Can be pleasing to the touch and other senses.

4) Can warm and comfort under certain circumstances.

5) Can be used in recreational activities

CAUTIONS:

1) Extremely hazardous to the environment when allowed to function unchecked.

2) Can cause temporary insanity if a low-grade specimen is chosen. Use care when selecting specimen.

3) Highly dangerous if not handled with extreme caution. Can cause a condition known as maternity.

[MiNuS]

this thread is worst than the optical illusion thread.I want a refund!

[Trailer Trash]

Burpppp!

[Horry For 3!]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v513/tlongII/women3.jpg
:lmao that is true

I remember when I was with my sister and mom. We went shopping, I had to get shirt n pants as well did them. Took me like 15 mins. Took them the whole day :bang

[Marklar MM]

:lmao that is true

I remember when I was with my sister and mom. We went shopping, I had to get shirt n pants as well did them. Took me like 15 mins. Took them the whole day :bang

That is why men don't go shopping with women.

[Vashner]

Do it in math.

W= ?? where w = woman.