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batman2883
11-10-2005, 05:52 PM
How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real passion fruit. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower and stand on bathmat.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.



How To Shower Like a Man:



Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the
'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.

Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bathmat.

Dry off forearms and butt only.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water fly off.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.



If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.

Have a great day! And, "woo woo"!!!

batman2883
11-10-2005, 05:52 PM
Damn My Sig Is Hot^

Old School Chic
11-10-2005, 05:58 PM
Damn My Sig Is Hot^


Your Sig Is mean looking!

SpursWoman
11-10-2005, 06:02 PM
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the
'woo-woo' sound.


I really hate that. :lmao

Duncan21
11-10-2005, 06:14 PM
lol, thats all so true :lmao

TOP-CHERRY
11-10-2005, 06:19 PM
Damn. I need more shower accessories.

Old School Chic
11-10-2005, 06:21 PM
Damn. I need more shower accessories.


:lol

ALVAREZ6
11-10-2005, 06:59 PM
:tu

Horry For 3!
11-10-2005, 07:02 PM
Most of the stuff is true for me :lmao

batman2883
11-10-2005, 07:16 PM
woo woo

NZHayden
11-10-2005, 07:18 PM
:lmao thats a good one batman

batman2883
11-10-2005, 07:18 PM
what can i say im full of one hit wonders

midgetonadonkey
11-10-2005, 07:28 PM
Most of the stuff is true for me :lmao

The female part?

LuvBones
11-10-2005, 07:47 PM
What? No one listens to music and sings in the shower?

Gatita
11-10-2005, 09:25 PM
:lol

Shaking the wiener!!!

Damn you Ed!!! :makeout

Marklar MM
11-10-2005, 09:32 PM
Gatita...That tampon thing is like....EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Some girl did that in school a couple years ago. I like your Virgins pringle one though. :)

Gatita
11-10-2005, 09:35 PM
Gatita...That tampon thing is like....EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Some girl did that in school a couple years ago. I like your Virgins pringle one though. :)

I must admit.

It is nasty. :vomit

Its for shock value.

:lol

BTW, did that girl fling it at someone?! :lol

Marklar MM
11-10-2005, 09:38 PM
I must admit.

It is nasty. :vomit

Its for shock value.

:lol

BTW, did that girl fling it at someone?! :lol


Don't really know...it was just on the floor. But I am sure it had to have gotten there somehow. Hmmm.... :bling

Horry For 3!
11-10-2005, 10:13 PM
The female part?
:rolleyes I knew you would say something stupid

1369
11-10-2005, 10:36 PM
From reading from the above, suffice it to say, deductive reasoning says batman2883 has never been laid...

CoolArrow
11-10-2005, 11:34 PM
They left off "cranking one off" for the guys in the shower.

Gatita
11-10-2005, 11:35 PM
They left off "cranking one off" for the guys in the shower.



From reading from the above, suffice it to say, deductive reasoning says batman2883 has never been laid...

KEDA
11-10-2005, 11:40 PM
I dont pee in the shower, thats nasty.

slayermin
11-11-2005, 12:28 AM
I have read this before, somewhere. But I don't recall where.

maxpower
11-12-2005, 01:42 PM
I dont pee in the shower, thats nasty.
http://www.seinfeld-fan.net/pictures/george/george_costanza003.jpg

It's all pipes!


oh yeah.

woo woo!!

1Parker1
11-12-2005, 03:24 PM
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real passion fruit. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.


:oops...For the record, it's for 5 minutes!!

snoop33
11-12-2005, 08:19 PM
I have read this before, somewhere. But I don't recall where.
Spoilsport! It's still funny though - admit that instead of sharing the fact that your "memory" ain't what it used to be old timer.