"I have a calling card.....it's....it's an 800 number"

[CharlieMac]

What are some your favorite movie quotes?

[ZStomp]

You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?- DIRTY HARRY

Say "hello" to my little friend! - SCARFACE

The whole Reservoir Dogs movie script.

[tlongII]

I'll be back.

[CharlieMac]

"The whole Judy Garland thing kind of turned me on. Does that make me some kind of fag?"

I'm in a Swingers mood tonight.

[phyzik]

"I got news for you, pal. You ain't leading but two things right now: Jack and Sh**. And, Jack left town."

"Good? Bad? I'm the one with the gun."

-Both by Bruce Campbell playing as Ashley J. 'Ash' Williams in Army of Darkness.

Bruce Campbell has some of the funniest one-liners in movie history :)

[Tres_Till_it_MHz]

"I got news for you, pal. You ain't leading but two things right now: Jack and Sh**. And, Jack left town."

"Good? Bad? I'm the one with the gun."

-Both by Bruce Campbell playing as Ashley J. 'Ash' Williams in Army of Darkness.

Bruce Campbell has some of the funniest one-liners in movie history :)

Agreed Army of Darkness is a classic, that whole freeakin movie is too funny.

Another Qoute from my favorite movie

"Ain't no fuckin' ballpark neither. Now look, maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but, you know, touchin' his wife's feet, and stickin' your tongue in her Holiest of Holies, ain't the same fuckin' ballpark, it ain't the same league, it ain't even the same fuckin' sport. Look, foot massages don't mean shit."

[midgetonadonkey]

Raoul Duke: Well? What are your plans?

Dr. Gonzo: Plans?

Raoul Duke: The child in the bedroom.

Dr. Gonzo: Oh, Lucy. I met her on the plane. Yeah, she's a religious freak. I gave her a cap before I realized... Jesus, she's never even had a drink before.

Raoul Duke: Well... It'll probably work out. We can keep her loaded and peddle her ass at the drug convention. Yeah. She's perfect for this gig. These cops will go fifty bucks a head to beat her into submission and then gang fuck her. We can set her up in one of these back street motels, hang pictures of Jesus all over the room, then turn these pigs loose on her. Hell, she's strong, man; she'll hold her own.

Dr. Gonzo: Jesus Christ. I knew you were a sick bastard but I never expected to hear you actually say that kind of stuff, you filthy bastard.

Raoul Duke: Straight economics. This girl is a God-send. Shit, she can make us a grand a day.

[N.Y. Johnny]

HEY WHERE ARE THE WHITE WOMEN AT???/

Blazing Saddles

[Faccia di Angelo]

"So what are you going to do today Napoleon? Whatever I feel like doing, GOSH!"

"You fat Hobbit!"

"Runaway, Runaway!"
"Tis but a scratch!"

"They took the whole fucking bar!"

"You're crazy..I like you..but you're crazy"

[clooneyschick04]

"I'd rather have 30 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special." Julia Roberts in Steel Magnolias

[ZStomp]

"So what are you going to do today Napoleon? Whatever I feel like doing, GOSH!"

"You fat Hobbit!"

"Runaway, Runaway!"
"Tis but a scratch!"

"They took the whole fucking bar!"

"You're crazy..I like you..but you're crazy"


Weak......

[ShoogarBear]

HARTMAN: I am Gunnery Sgt. Hartman, your senior drill instructor. From now
on you will only speak when spoken to, and the first and last words out of
your filthy sewers will be sir. Do you maggots understand that?

ALL: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: Bullshit! I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair.

ALL: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training,
you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war.
But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on
Earth. You are not even human fucking beings. You are nothing but
unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit. Because I am hard you will
not like me; but the more you hate me the more you will learn. I am hard
but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on
######s, kikes, whops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless.
And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to
serve in my beloved core. Do you maggots understand that?

ALL: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: Bullshit! I can't hear you!

ALL: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: What's your name scumbag?

SNOWBALL: Sir Private Brown sir!

HARTMAN: Bullshit! From now on you're Private Snowball. Do you like that
name?

SNOWBALL: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: Well there's one thing that you won't like, Private Snowball. They
don't serve fried chicken and watermelon on a daily basis in my mess hall.

SNOWBALL: Sir yes sir!

JOKER: Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?

HARTMAN: Who said that? WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT!? Who's the slimy little
communist shit twinkle toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own
death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it. Out
fucking standing. I will PT you all until you fucking die. I'll PT you
until your assholes are sucking buttermilk. Was it you, you scroungey
little fuck, hugh?

COWBOY: Sir no sir!

HARTMAN: You little piece of shit. You look like a fucking worm. I'll bet
it was you.

COWBOY: Sir no sir!

JOKER: Sir, I said it sir!

HARTMAN: Well, no shit. What do we got here? A fucking comedian.
Private Joker. I admire your honesty. Hell I like you. You can come over
to my house and fuck my sister. (punch) You little scumbag! I got your
name. I got your ass. You will not laugh, you will not cry. You will
learn by the numbers. I will teach you. Now get up. Get on your feet.
You had best not fuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down
your neck.

JOKER: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: Private Joker, why did you join my beloved core?

JOKER: Sir to kill sir!

HARTMAN: So your a killer.

JOKER: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: Let me see your war face.

JOKER: Sir?

HARTMAN: You got a war face? Aaaaaahhhh! That's a war face. Now let me
see your war face.

JOKER: Aaaahhhh!

HARTMAN: Bullshit! You didn't convince me. Let me see your real war face.

JOKER: Aaaaahhhhh!

HARTMAN: You don't scare me. Work on it.

JOKER: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: What's your excuse?

COWBOY: Sir excuse for what sir?

HARTMAN: I'm asking the fucking questions here, private! Do you understand?

COWBOY: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: Well thank you very much. Can I be in charge for a while?

COWBOY: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: Are you shook up, are you nervous?

COWBOY: Sir I am sir!

HARTMAN: Do I make you nervous?

COWBOY: Sir...

HARTMAN: Sir what? Were you about to call me an asshole?

COWBOY: Sir no sir!

HARTMAN: How tall are you private?

COWBOY: Sir 5'9 sir.

HARTMAN: 5'9! I didn't know they stacked shit that high. Are you trying
to squeeze an inch on me somewhere? Huh?

COWBOY: Sir no sir!

HARTMAN: Bullshit! It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the
crack of your momma's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress. I
think you've been cheated. Where in the hell are you from anyway private?

COWBOY: Sir Texas sir?

HARTMAN: Holy dogshit, Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas
Private Cowboy. And you don't much look like a steer so that kinda narrows
it down. Do you suck dicks?

COWBOY: Sir no sir!

HARTMAN: Are you a peter pumper?

COWBOY: Sir no sir!

HARTMAN: I'll bet your the kind of guy who would fuck a person in the ass
and not even have the God damn common courtesy to give them a reach around.
I'll be watching you.

HARTMAN: Did your parents have any children that lived?

PYLE: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: I bet they regret that. Your so ugly you could be a modern art
masterpiece. What's your name fat body?

PYLE: Sir Leonard Lawrence sir.

HARTMAN: Lawrence, Lawrence what, of Arabia?

PYLE: Sir no sir.

HARTMAN: That name sounds like royalty. Are you royalty?

PYLE: Sir no sir!

HARTMAN: Do you suck dicks?

PYLE: Sir no sir!

HARTMAN: Bullshit! I'll bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden
hose.

PYLE: Sir no sir!

HARTMAN: I don't like the name Lawrence. Only faggots and sailors are
called Lawrence. From now on you're Gomer Pyle.

PYLE: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: Do you think I'm cute Private Pile, do you think I'm funny?

PYLE: Sir no sir!

HARTMAN: Then pipe that disgusting grin off your face.

PYLE: Sir yes sir! (continues to smile)

HARTMAN: Well any fucking time sweetheart.

PYLE: Sir I'm trying sir!

HARTMAN: Private Pyle, I'm going to give you three seconds, exactly three
fucking seconds to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face or I will
gouge out your eyeballs and skull fuck you. One...two...three!

PYLE: Sir I can't help it sir!

HARTMAN: Bullshit! Get on your knees scumbag. Now choke yourself. God
damn it, with my hand numbnuts. Don't pull my fucking hand over there. I
said choke yourself. Now lean forward and choke yourself. (Pyle lieans
forward into his hands and he chokes him) Are you through grinning?

PYLE: (gasping) Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: Bullshit! I can't hear you.

PYLE: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: Bullshit! I still can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair.

PYLE: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: That's enough. Get on your feet. Private Pyle, you had best
square your ass away and start shitting me Tiffany cufflinks or I will
definitely fuck you up.

PYLE: Sir yes sir!

:smokin

[Vashner]

"It's the wallet that says Bad motherfucker"...

Pulp Fiction...

[N.Y. Johnny]

HARTMAN: I am Gunnery Sgt. Hartman, your senior drill instructor. From now
on you will only speak when spoken to, and the first and last words out of
your filthy sewers will be sir. Do you maggots understand that?

ALL: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: Bullshit! I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair.

ALL: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training,
you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war.
But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on
Earth. You are not even human fucking beings. You are nothing but
unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit. Because I am hard you will
not like me; but the more you hate me the more you will learn. I am hard
but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on
######s, kikes, whops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless.
And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to
serve in my beloved core. Do you maggots understand that?

ALL: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: Bullshit! I can't hear you!

ALL: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: What's your name scumbag?

SNOWBALL: Sir Private Brown sir!

HARTMAN: Bullshit! From now on you're Private Snowball. Do you like that
name?

SNOWBALL: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: Well there's one thing that you won't like, Private Snowball. They
don't serve fried chicken and watermelon on a daily basis in my mess hall.

SNOWBALL: Sir yes sir!

JOKER: Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?

HARTMAN: Who said that? WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT!? Who's the slimy little
communist shit twinkle toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own
death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it. Out
fucking standing. I will PT you all until you fucking die. I'll PT you
until your assholes are sucking buttermilk. Was it you, you scroungey
little fuck, hugh?

COWBOY: Sir no sir!

HARTMAN: You little piece of shit. You look like a fucking worm. I'll bet
it was you.

COWBOY: Sir no sir!

JOKER: Sir, I said it sir!

HARTMAN: Well, no shit. What do we got here? A fucking comedian.
Private Joker. I admire your honesty. Hell I like you. You can come over
to my house and fuck my sister. (punch) You little scumbag! I got your
name. I got your ass. You will not laugh, you will not cry. You will
learn by the numbers. I will teach you. Now get up. Get on your feet.
You had best not fuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down
your neck.

JOKER: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: Private Joker, why did you join my beloved core?

JOKER: Sir to kill sir!

HARTMAN: So your a killer.

JOKER: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: Let me see your war face.

JOKER: Sir?

HARTMAN: You got a war face? Aaaaaahhhh! That's a war face. Now let me
see your war face.

JOKER: Aaaahhhh!

HARTMAN: Bullshit! You didn't convince me. Let me see your real war face.

JOKER: Aaaaahhhhh!

HARTMAN: You don't scare me. Work on it.

JOKER: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: What's your excuse?

COWBOY: Sir excuse for what sir?

HARTMAN: I'm asking the fucking questions here, private! Do you understand?

COWBOY: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: Well thank you very much. Can I be in charge for a while?

COWBOY: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: Are you shook up, are you nervous?

COWBOY: Sir I am sir!

HARTMAN: Do I make you nervous?

COWBOY: Sir...

HARTMAN: Sir what? Were you about to call me an asshole?

COWBOY: Sir no sir!

HARTMAN: How tall are you private?

COWBOY: Sir 5'9 sir.

HARTMAN: 5'9! I didn't know they stacked shit that high. Are you trying
to squeeze an inch on me somewhere? Huh?

COWBOY: Sir no sir!

HARTMAN: Bullshit! It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the
crack of your momma's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress. I
think you've been cheated. Where in the hell are you from anyway private?

COWBOY: Sir Texas sir?

HARTMAN: Holy dogshit, Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas
Private Cowboy. And you don't much look like a steer so that kinda narrows
it down. Do you suck dicks?

COWBOY: Sir no sir!

HARTMAN: Are you a peter pumper?

COWBOY: Sir no sir!

HARTMAN: I'll bet your the kind of guy who would fuck a person in the ass
and not even have the God damn common courtesy to give them a reach around.
I'll be watching you.

HARTMAN: Did your parents have any children that lived?

PYLE: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: I bet they regret that. Your so ugly you could be a modern art
masterpiece. What's your name fat body?

PYLE: Sir Leonard Lawrence sir.

HARTMAN: Lawrence, Lawrence what, of Arabia?

PYLE: Sir no sir.

HARTMAN: That name sounds like royalty. Are you royalty?

PYLE: Sir no sir!

HARTMAN: Do you suck dicks?

PYLE: Sir no sir!

HARTMAN: Bullshit! I'll bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden
hose.

PYLE: Sir no sir!

HARTMAN: I don't like the name Lawrence. Only faggots and sailors are
called Lawrence. From now on you're Gomer Pyle.

PYLE: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: Do you think I'm cute Private Pile, do you think I'm funny?

PYLE: Sir no sir!

HARTMAN: Then pipe that disgusting grin off your face.

PYLE: Sir yes sir! (continues to smile)

HARTMAN: Well any fucking time sweetheart.

PYLE: Sir I'm trying sir!

HARTMAN: Private Pyle, I'm going to give you three seconds, exactly three
fucking seconds to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face or I will
gouge out your eyeballs and skull fuck you. One...two...three!

PYLE: Sir I can't help it sir!

HARTMAN: Bullshit! Get on your knees scumbag. Now choke yourself. God
damn it, with my hand numbnuts. Don't pull my fucking hand over there. I

said choke yourself. Now lean forward and choke yourself. (Pyle lieans
forward into his hands and he chokes him) Are you through grinning?

PYLE: (gasping) Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: Bullshit! I can't hear you.

PYLE: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: Bullshit! I still can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair.

PYLE: Sir yes sir!

HARTMAN: That's enough. Get on your feet. Private Pyle, you had best
square your ass away and start shitting me Tiffany cufflinks or I will
definitely fuck you up.

PYLE: Sir yes sir!

:smokin



http://bigsblog.blogspot.com/images/ermey.jpg


I love that fucking movie...Kubrick was a Genius!

[CharlieMac]

"I kick ass for the lord!"

Dead Alive was great.

[Aggie Hoopsfan]

Bluto Blutarsky... zero point zero. Drunk, fat, and stupid is no way to go through life son.

[KEDA]

ahhh, isnt this religious! FACE OFF

[Marklar MM]

Carl Spackler: I smell varmint poontang. And the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think.

[SWC Bonfire]

Carl Spackler: I smell varmint poontang. And the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think.

:lol

That entire movie is a movie quote.

I've come here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I'm all out of bubblegum.

[SWC Bonfire]

When you raise you voice and it doesn't do any good, sometimes you've got to raise your hand!

[N.Y. Johnny]

"GRAB A DOG! and...I....CHOKE HIM!....and........I KICK THE SHIT OUT OF HIM! and I, and I, ALL DAY LONG A FOOT UP A DOG'S ASS, JUST BANG, BANG, BANG! UP HIS ASS...thats my pleashah"