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tlongII
11-18-2005, 11:54 AM
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.

Peter
11-18-2005, 12:07 PM
That's a good start. There's also the ability to not worry about shit that's a week away.

Others:

The expectation that you will watch sports and are not interested in shopping.
The ability to grab your crotch in public with abandon.
The ability to scratch your ass in public with adandon.
Dinner takes care of itself.
You don't care if Frank wore that same shirt last week.

Peter
11-18-2005, 12:14 PM
You don't worry about what she said 5 months ago.
You don't look for a hidden meaning in what people say.
And, of course, you don't become psychotic once a month.

Vashner
11-18-2005, 03:09 PM
Watch the Mexican soap operas....

Some of the women just LOVE to be miserable and crying. It's like something that some of them feed off.

Maybe it's to get a guy to felling all bad and cuddling etc...