baseline bum
06-07-2022, 10:08 PM
https://www.theonion.com/tearful-uvalde-residents-thank-police-for-protecting-pa-1848982023
Tearful Uvalde Residents Thank Police For Protecting Parking Lot From Gunman
https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fit,f_auto,g_center,pg_1,q_60,w_1600/2d163ff984c9263cc87c5015b8cc9fa8.jpg
UVALDE, TX—In an expression of gratitude for keeping the community’s beloved stretch of asphalt safe, tearful Uvalde residents thanked law enforcement Thursday for protecting Robb Elementary School’s parking lot from a gunman. “To the brave officers who heroically stood outside the school to defend this pavement against attack, we offer our undying thanks,” said Uvalde native Jim Clabor, his eyes welling up with emotion as he recalled the innocent Toyotas and Fords whose bodies might have been struck by gunfire if not for the courageous actions of police. “The only reason this beautiful blacktop surface emerged intact from the shooter’s rampage is because these officers rose to the occasion and refused to let anything happen to our precious parking lot. We are blessed that every 9-foot-wide space survived Tuesday’s massacre, allowing future generations to park their cars here without fear.” At press time, Texas schools were reportedly increasing the security presence in their parking lots, staffing them with officers sworn to take a bullet for the pavement if necessary.
Tearful Uvalde Residents Thank Police For Protecting Parking Lot From Gunman
https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fit,f_auto,g_center,pg_1,q_60,w_1600/2d163ff984c9263cc87c5015b8cc9fa8.jpg
UVALDE, TX—In an expression of gratitude for keeping the community’s beloved stretch of asphalt safe, tearful Uvalde residents thanked law enforcement Thursday for protecting Robb Elementary School’s parking lot from a gunman. “To the brave officers who heroically stood outside the school to defend this pavement against attack, we offer our undying thanks,” said Uvalde native Jim Clabor, his eyes welling up with emotion as he recalled the innocent Toyotas and Fords whose bodies might have been struck by gunfire if not for the courageous actions of police. “The only reason this beautiful blacktop surface emerged intact from the shooter’s rampage is because these officers rose to the occasion and refused to let anything happen to our precious parking lot. We are blessed that every 9-foot-wide space survived Tuesday’s massacre, allowing future generations to park their cars here without fear.” At press time, Texas schools were reportedly increasing the security presence in their parking lots, staffing them with officers sworn to take a bullet for the pavement if necessary.