Advice on how to date for the first time :)

[Mark Celibate]

Some quick background on me. I am 37 male and single. I have never been in a relationship before. I live with my parents on the eastern side of the US. I have learned to enjoy living a simpler life. I do not worry about chasing money or anything like that. I live smartly and frugally. But I only earn around 30,000 a year.
I am very happy with my life. I am not looking to move, change careers or start earning more. I know this seems to upset some people. But it really is just who I am and what makes me happy. But I am realizing I do not earn enough to support and provide for a family.
Which is totally fine. But it does make the kind of dating I have been attempting all my life even more difficult. I have always dated to marry. When I first started dating at 20 (or at least trying at that age) my goal was always to date people I might be interested in marrying. Get to know them. Decide whom I want a relationship with. And maybe pursue marriage with them.
I do not have such a direct path to marriage now. While I am still open to it someday it might be 10 or 20 years before I am ready to marry (or at least have someone willing to marry me lol).
I am still interested in pursuing relationships and romantic friendships. So, I realize I need to casually date. But like I said I have never done it before, have no idea what it is even about. I am not really looking for a FWB. I would fall in love too quickly and easily that it would not be fair to my partner.
I am interested in how people casually date. How do people casually get into relationships? What are the typical rules of casual dating? I really do just have no experience or training with it.
Thank you so much to anyone who can help. Also, just some quick info my hobbies are reading, writing, philosophy, theology, weed edibles, sex with myself, and working out. I realize they may not be the best hobbies for meeting people. But they are what I have to work with :) Thank you again to anyone.

[Thread]

You're entering that danger area of trying to find a suitable mate at "40" years old with nary baggage and your intended will be loaded with baggage...a con-artist, somebody with an STD, not a killer, but a stopper from you enjoying a full sexual relationship in the last half of your life. She'll be most likely divorced, with children and the ex is bitter, and vice versa. You'll never get shut of him, Mark, nor her children. You don't want kids hating you. Make blooded kids, there is no other way. Don't let 'em trick you into impregnating them, or, linking up with a foreigner. You want a born in this country woman.

You're gonna miss your parents, and I wouldn't want you to end up regretting parting ways with them for someone who makes you feel regret full because it will be difficult to impossible getting rid of a loser, or, bringing her around your parents.

Good luck to you, Mark. Let your gut rule your decision as much as possible. She won't be what she is representing after "I do." is exchanged.

ADDENDUM:::And don't hide your sexual needs before marriage, hoping that what you expect is what she is expecting, OR, will agree to,,,a firm bargain twixt you both that will be honored by you both, and then live it without further bargaining. Have a sit explicitly about sexual expectations with this woman. Don't shilly shally about. Plain.spoken.English.

ADDENDUM:::And make double sure she ain't on, or dependent upon drugs, legal, or illegal. & if you don't smoke, don't marry a smoker.

[Fat Brandon Bass]

Is my boyfriend a cuck?
My bf (25m) and i (26f) give each other full access to our phones, long story short i was on his notes app and found that he had deleted 4 notes, so i clicked on them out of curiosity and they were 300+ word stories where he wrote of me cheating on him by getting fucked by either his best friend or one of my guy friends. Like stories that set the scene, set what i was wearing, how i acted and how this other guy acted and everything sexual involved.
This shocked me at first because he’s always telling me i can’t trust guys because they have hidden agendas and blablabla so i would of never seen this coming from him. We do long distance sometimes and he gets paranoid a little that ive cheated on him which is not true but yet these stories are written about me cheating when we are long distance. sometimes he makes jokes about me having another boyfriend “u probably told your other bf this” but whenever the topic of a 3sum has come up he was strictly against having another male involved. Both his friend and my friend have been sus around me at some point in time,indicating some interest from their end, which i had shared with my bf at the time and he was clearly not happy about. He even wanted me to stop talking to them and take distance because he didnt like it. Yet here he is writing pornos about me and them.
I am relieved in the sense where we wrote of me as being very beautiful, attractive and hard to stay away from and that it wasn’t stories of him with other women. However i still dont know what to do.


do i pretend like i never saw this and never bring it up?

do i bring it up which would possibly make him feel embarrassed? And how would i even talk about that?

do i suggest some kind of scenario where i get with either friend to appeal to his fantasy? Or a 3 way?

is this one of those fantasies that are better kept fantasies or better brought to life?

I really don’t know. Please share your opinion. Thanks

[Millennial_Messiah]

You want a born in this country woman.

100,000 %.

If you don't follow this guideline, you will be broke and miserable for eternity.

[Millennial_Messiah]

Also, you don't want a woman with another man's kids, but the problem is that women that are in their mid to upper 30s that don't have kids are generally the religious prude type that won't have sex until marriage if at all. Or they are fugly as fuck but those don't count.

Solution is to marry younger, but not too much younger... ideally around early 30s, 30-33, someone who just hasn't had really much of a chance to date and settle down because of her career, professional school, law school/medical/pharmacy school etc. Find someone educated and smart and pragmatic at worst case moderate politically but no far left idiot hipster types who think humans are polluting the Earth. (Most of them are pretty easy to spot from the naked eye.)

Find a straight white woman with a good moral compass but not overly evangelical and around early 30s with a good career/education and stable. And make sure she wants kids and is capable of having kids and getting pregnant and doesn't already have kids.

[Millennial_Messiah]

ADDENDUM:::And don't hide your sexual needs before marriage, hoping that what you expect is what she is expecting, OR, will agree to,,,a firm bargain twixt you both that will be honored by you both, and then live it without further bargaining. Have a sit explicitly about sexual expectations with this woman. Don't shilly shally about. Plain.spoken.English.

If she says she won't have sex until marriage, count her out of consideration. Don't let her use religion or whatever as an excuse. Also, if she's over the top religious, that's a red flag. You don't want her loving a man who's been dead for approximately 1,993 years more than she loves you. Anyway, if she won't have sex by at most the 5th date, ideally somewhere around the 3rd date, ditch her. First date is too early, generally, but you can bet your life that if she says she's "preserving herself until marriage" then she's a frigid ass prude who probably will never want to have sex after you're married and you will be miserable jacking off and trying to get side poontang and saving up for your $25K retainer for your inevitable divorce attorney. And hopefully you got a prenup as well. But yeah, better to avoid this. Normal women in their 30s have a VERY high sex drive (arguably highest in their life because biological clock and all) and love sex with men and will be all over you by no later than the 3rd date if you play your cards properly.

[Thread]

Is my boyfriend a cuck?
My bf (25m) and i (26f) give each other full access to our phones, long story short i was on his notes app and found that he had deleted 4 notes, so i clicked on them out of curiosity and they were 300+ word stories where he wrote of me cheating on him by getting fucked by either his best friend or one of my guy friends. Like stories that set the scene, set what i was wearing, how i acted and how this other guy acted and everything sexual involved.
This shocked me at first because he’s always telling me i can’t trust guys because they have hidden agendas and blablabla so i would of never seen this coming from him. We do long distance sometimes and he gets paranoid a little that ive cheated on him which is not true but yet these stories are written about me cheating when we are long distance. sometimes he makes jokes about me having another boyfriend “u probably told your other bf this” but whenever the topic of a 3sum has come up he was strictly against having another male involved. Both his friend and my friend have been sus around me at some point in time,indicating some interest from their end, which i had shared with my bf at the time and he was clearly not happy about. He even wanted me to stop talking to them and take distance because he didnt like it. Yet here he is writing pornos about me and them.
I am relieved in the sense where we wrote of me as being very beautiful, attractive and hard to stay away from and that it wasn’t stories of him with other women. However i still dont know what to do.


do i pretend like i never saw this and never bring it up?
do i bring it up which would possibly make him feel embarrassed? And how would i even talk about that?
do i suggest some kind of scenario where i get with either friend to appeal to his fantasy? Or a 3 way?
is this one of those fantasies that are better kept fantasies or better brought to life?

I really don’t know. Please share your opinion. Thanks

You sit down with when there is ample time to hear it all. A decision hasn't got to be made at this sit, but all interests must be broached during it. Don't judge him on-the-spot. It's important to him that you CONSIDER it. It is a mighty draw what he is fantasizing about and different indeed from the threesome. Quiz him about the aftermath should you venture into this realm. It's unknown because (love) can and will most likely become involved. Love that you may have for one of these fellows. If that love happens it turns from excitement to dread on his account chiefly and even on your part. He doesn't want you to fall in love with (him). He wants you to ALMOST fall in love with (him). That's a dangerous course and the odds of it falling apart for you and him is high, Blass. Encourage him to vent his spleen and vice versa. If you don't want it, don't do it to please him. Neither of you will be pleased in the bitter end.

[Thread]

If she says she won't have sex until marriage, count her out of consideration. Don't let her use religion or whatever as an excuse. Also, if she's over the top religious, that's a red flag. You don't want her loving a man who's been dead for approximately 1,993 years more than she loves you. Anyway, if she won't have sex by at most the 5th date, ideally somewhere around the 3rd date, ditch her. First date is too early, generally, but you can bet your life that if she says she's "preserving herself until marriage" then she's a frigid ass prude who probably will never want to have sex after you're married and you will be miserable jacking off and trying to get side poontang and saving up for your $25K retainer for your inevitable divorce attorney. And hopefully you got a prenup as well. But yeah, better to avoid this. Normal women in their 30s have a VERY high sex drive (arguably highest in their life because biological clock and all) and love sex with men and will be all over you by no later than the 3rd date if you play your cards properly.

Yes, the bitter reality of a nightmare scenario.

[Millennial_Messiah]

Yes, the bitter reality of a nightmare scenario.

exactly.

Women in their 30s, by nature, have extremely high sex drives. That is a FACT.

If they tell you they won't have sex until marriage, they are lifelong prudes, and it's cue for they're not attracted to you and it's time to move on and not spend another penny on her except for maybe the gas it costs to drive her back to her shitty 400sqft apartment with pizza boxes stacked to the ceiling, 3 cats and 30,000 fruit flies tbh.

[Millennial_Messiah]

Also the OP Is trolling because that isn't who he is. OP is probably about that age but he's a remote IT worker who lives a very introverted insipid life in northwest Montana all by himself.

[Millennial_Messiah]

And we all know the Fat Brandon Bass and Jason Garrett accounts are Bump's trollin' alt accounts as well.

[Thread]

Also, you don't want a woman with another man's kids, but the problem is that women that are in their mid to upper 30s that don't have kids are generally the religious prude type that won't have sex until marriage if at all. Or they are fugly as fuck but those don't count.

Solution is to marry younger, but not too much younger... ideally around early 30s, 30-33, someone who just hasn't had really much of a chance to date and settle down because of her career, professional school, law school/medical/pharmacy school etc. Find someone educated and smart and pragmatic at worst case moderate politically but no far left idiot hipster types who think humans are polluting the Earth. (Most of them are pretty easy to spot from the naked eye.)

Find a straight white woman with a good moral compass but not overly evangelical and around early 30s with a good career/education and stable. And make sure she wants kids and is capable of having kids and getting pregnant and doesn't already have kids.

I don't like the odds of finding this woman. They're about nil, and there is really nothing in your checklist that can be trimmed off.

Grim business.

[Thread]

And we all know the Fat Brandon Bass and Jason Garrett accounts are Bump's trollin' alt accounts as well.

Yet, it's still fine bandying on about it with the group.

[Mark Celibate]

Also, you don't want a woman with another man's kids, but the problem is that women that are in their mid to upper 30s that don't have kids are generally the religious prude type that won't have sex until marriage if at all. Or they are fugly as fuck but those don't count.

Solution is to marry younger, but not too much younger... ideally around early 30s, 30-33, someone who just hasn't had really much of a chance to date and settle down because of her career, professional school, law school/medical/pharmacy school etc. Find someone educated and smart and pragmatic at worst case moderate politically but no far left idiot hipster types who think humans are polluting the Earth. (Most of them are pretty easy to spot from the naked eye.)

Find a straight white woman with a good moral compass but not overly evangelical and around early 30s with a good career/education and stable. And make sure she wants kids and is capable of having kids and getting pregnant and doesn't already have kids.

ROFL

>early 30s
>white woman

top kek, good luck finding a single white woman in her early 30s that's not complete trash. copypasta trolling aside, if you are in your 30s and assuming you have your finances and fitness in order, you want mid-20s or early 20s if you can pull it. If you're forced to date someone in their early 30s, gotta take the South American pill brah. Latinas age gracefully, preferably pick one that is fairly light skin so your kids dont turn into a brocolli haired mulatto.

Honestly though, if you want early 30s the best bet is to find some super nerdy naive girl who makes way more money than you to be a sugar mama and so you have the leverage in case of divorce. Ideally some highly paid programmer who is not a boss b!tch director, but has gotten good DEI raises as an individual contributor. Pretty much the male version of being a male trophy wife and dating a beta bux to take care of you tbh imho

[baseline bum]

Some quick background on me. I am 37 male and single. I have never been in a relationship before. I live with my parents on the eastern side of the US. I have learned to enjoy living a simpler life. I do not worry about chasing money or anything like that. I live smartly and frugally. But I only earn around 30,000 a year.
I am very happy with my life. I am not looking to move, change careers or start earning more. I know this seems to upset some people. But it really is just who I am and what makes me happy. But I am realizing I do not earn enough to support and provide for a family.
Which is totally fine. But it does make the kind of dating I have been attempting all my life even more difficult. I have always dated to marry. When I first started dating at 20 (or at least trying at that age) my goal was always to date people I might be interested in marrying. Get to know them. Decide whom I want a relationship with. And maybe pursue marriage with them.
I do not have such a direct path to marriage now. While I am still open to it someday it might be 10 or 20 years before I am ready to marry (or at least have someone willing to marry me lol).
I am still interested in pursuing relationships and romantic friendships. So, I realize I need to casually date. But like I said I have never done it before, have no idea what it is even about. I am not really looking for a FWB. I would fall in love too quickly and easily that it would not be fair to my partner.
I am interested in how people casually date. How do people casually get into relationships? What are the typical rules of casual dating? I really do just have no experience or training with it.
Thank you so much to anyone who can help. Also, just some quick info my hobbies are reading, writing, philosophy, theology, weed edibles, sex with myself, and working out. I realize they may not be the best hobbies for meeting people. But they are what I have to work with :) Thank you again to anyone.

My first date was at 22. I was horrible at dating at that. I think I told her about a crush I had on somebody else. Needless to say there was not a second date. I was so clueless back then.

Some people might argue that has not changed ;)

[Mark Celibate]

My first date was at 22. I was horrible at dating at that. I think I told her about a crush I had on somebody else. Needless to say there was not a second date. I was so clueless back then.

Some people might argue that has not changed ;)

Yeah, it is funny you bringing all that up. I would best be described as a monogamous person who has very low jealously levels.
I could handle one half of an 'open' relationship. I could handle my partner sleeping with other people. But I could not handle the other half, I do not think I could sleep with others. I am just not built that way.
And I may not know much about relationships, but I do know an open relationship cannot work if one side is sleeping with other people and the other side is not.
Honestly thanks for bringing it up. I never quite thought about all that. In many ways even though I am a traditionally monogamous person I am just not a jealous person. So that perhaps opens me up to a few sorts of nontraditional relationships.
Although I think if we are all honest I should start with training wheels. And keep things super simple my first time.
Thank you again.

[Millennial_Messiah]

Latinas age gracefully

:lmao

What fantasy land are you living in here?

[Millennial_Messiah]

you want mid-20s or early 20s if you can pull it

nah, they won't get the 90s references that I do and they can't talk about 9/11 with a straight face because they weren't around for it.

[Millennial_Messiah]

Honestly though, if you want early 30s the best bet is to find some super nerdy naive girl who makes way more money than you to be a sugar mama and so you have the leverage in case of divorce. Ideally some highly paid programmer who is not a boss b!tch director, but has gotten good DEI raises as an individual contributor. Pretty much the male version of being a male trophy wife and dating a beta bux to take care of you tbh imho

not necessarily nerdy, but marrying a woman with a career and money is always desirable, yuge weight off your shoulders as a man if you don't have to pay for EVERYTHING for her tbh.

[Millennial_Messiah]

Honestly better just being single and jacking off than dating some woman who's a cashier at a Target or Menards just because you don't want to be alone fwiw.

[Mark Celibate]

nah, they won't get the 90s references that I do and they can't talk about 9/11 with a straight face because they weren't around for it.

"muh 90s references"

imagine turning down a young, fertile prospetive wife because she doesn't laugh at your g@y Office or Nickelodeon jokes :lmao

[Mark Celibate]

:lmao

What fantasy land are you living in here?

I'm not talking about the hambeast latina who works at McDonalds who was hot when was 19 before getting knocked up by Tyrone the drug dealer. The ones that actually have more than a couple of brain cells and are somewhat educated and go to the gym always look 10 years younger. Back when I lived in the Big D and when they were first getting invaded by Venezuelans/Guatemalans, I'd regularly go on dates with latina women in their early 30s who looked like they were 24. Always much more pleasant to be around then the fatty, boss b1tch American woman who got DEI'd into some bullsh1t middle management job at your run of the mill tech company rofl

[Thread]

Honestly better just being single and jacking off than dating some woman who's a cashier at a Target or Menards just because you don't want to be alone fwiw.

Yes, it's the bitter truth.

[FrostKing]

Chocolate & Flowers

[Millennial_Messiah]

"muh 90s references"

imagine turning down a young, fertile prospetive wife because she doesn't laugh at your g@y Office or Nickelodeon jokes :lmao

wife? more like little girl... at some point it's not a relationship of equals if there's that big of an age difference. Some men actually seek out an egalitarian partner they can talk to and actually connect with on a deep level, not just a little comparatively underage fuckgirl to get their dick wet and to push out their kids

[Millennial_Messiah]

Chocolate & Flowers

chocolate only works if she's skinny and has the metabolism, but generally women that are fit are too big of health nuts to eat candy. Unless they're stoners with the munchies in which case it's a hard pass regardless.

[Millennial_Messiah]

I'm not talking about the hambeast latina who works at McDonalds who was hot when was 19 before getting knocked up by Tyrone the drug dealer. The ones that actually have more than a couple of brain cells and are somewhat educated and go to the gym always look 10 years younger. Back when I lived in the Big D and when they were first getting invaded by Venezuelans/Guatemalans, I'd regularly go on dates with latina women in their early 30s who looked like they were 24. Always much more pleasant to be around then the fatty, boss b1tch American woman who got DEI'd into some bullsh1t middle management job at your run of the mill tech company rofl
I will not date foreign women of any kind given my personal experience, but different strolks for different fokes I guess.

[lebomb]

Some quick background on me. I am 37 male and single. I have never been in a relationship before. I live with my parents on the eastern side of the US. I have learned to enjoy living a simpler life. I do not worry about chasing money or anything like that. I live smartly and frugally. But I only earn around 30,000 a year.
I am very happy with my life. I am not looking to move, change careers or start earning more. I know this seems to upset some people. But it really is just who I am and what makes me happy. But I am realizing I do not earn enough to support and provide for a family.
Which is totally fine. But it does make the kind of dating I have been attempting all my life even more difficult. I have always dated to marry. When I first started dating at 20 (or at least trying at that age) my goal was always to date people I might be interested in marrying. Get to know them. Decide whom I want a relationship with. And maybe pursue marriage with them.
I do not have such a direct path to marriage now. While I am still open to it someday it might be 10 or 20 years before I am ready to marry (or at least have someone willing to marry me lol).
I am still interested in pursuing relationships and romantic friendships. So, I realize I need to casually date. But like I said I have never done it before, have no idea what it is even about. I am not really looking for a FWB. I would fall in love too quickly and easily that it would not be fair to my partner.
I am interested in how people casually date. How do people casually get into relationships? What are the typical rules of casual dating? I really do just have no experience or training with it.
Thank you so much to anyone who can help. Also, just some quick info my hobbies are reading, writing, philosophy, theology, weed edibles, sex with myself, and working out. I realize they may not be the best hobbies for meeting people. But they are what I have to work with :) Thank you again to anyone.

After reading this, Ive come to the conclusion there is no answer for you, nor is there any hope. There is only one way out of your situation...............

:hang

[Spurminator]

Hello and welcome to r/findapath! We are glad you found your way here. Please know that you are not alone. We are here to listen, to offer support, and to help guide you. While no one can make decisions for you, we are here to help you find a path; we believe that everyone has the power to heal and grow.

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Thank you for being a part of our community.

[MultiTroll]

I am interested in how people casually date. How do people casually get into relationships? What are the typical rules of casual dating? I really do just have no experience or training with it.
Thank you so much to anyone who can help. Also, just some quick info my hobbies are reading, writing, philosophy, theology, weed edibles, sex with myself, and working out. I realize they may not be the best hobbies for meeting people. But they are what I have to work with :) Thank you again to anyone.
Have you asked this playa?

Not a heterosexual on this planet that wouldn't take that Karen to bed, tbh.
https://www.the-sun.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/6/2020/06/NINTCHDBPICT000588338663.jpg

Not before they take Pochahontas, but still, she thicker than a frosty served during an Alaskan winter.

[Thread]

After reading this, Ive come to the conclusion there is no answer for you, nor is there any hope. There is only one way out of your situation...............



...see your parents out. You'll never regret it as when you get there they'll be waitin'.