View Full Version : So wrong...
spurschick
12-12-2005, 01:12 PM
and yet, very funny!
********************************************
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
****************** A half-gallon of 2% milk,
****************** A carton of eggs,
****************** A quart of orange juice,
****************** A head of romaine lettuce,
****************** A 2 lb. can of coffee,
****************** And a 1 lb. package of bacon.
*
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the* items in front of the cashier.
*
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
"You must be single."
*
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.** She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
*
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
*
The drunk replied, "'Cause you're ugly!"
SpursWoman
12-12-2005, 01:16 PM
Oh, damn...that was mean. :lol
Jekka
12-12-2005, 01:32 PM
A guy in front of me at the checkout line called me fat earlier this year. That was fun :rolleyes He was hitting on the checkout woman at the same time, so when he left we bitched about him.
Cant_Be_Faded
12-12-2005, 01:36 PM
you should have clocked him upside the head with your grocery goods
The sone
12-12-2005, 02:19 PM
now thats funny...
Why does that story sound like something I'd say/do.......
Kahn Souphanousinphone
12-12-2005, 02:45 PM
A man waiting in the checkout line noticed an elderly lady looking at him
She says I'm sorry for staring but you remind me of my son who I lost a while back.
he said "that's ok"
She said "Do you mind if i call you Son?"
He said "Sure no problem"
She said "Great, Thanks Son"
She got though the check out waved and said :"Goodbye Son" and left
He said "Goodbye Mom"
the man placed a gallon of milk, a dozen eggs and a loaf of bread down
The cashier rang him up and said "ok that's $105.50"
He said "What, $105.50 for milk, eggs and bread?
The cashier said "No you mom who just left said you would pay for her groceries as well"
ShoogarBear
12-12-2005, 03:05 PM
A guy in front of me at the checkout line called me fat earlier this year.
Maybe he meant with a "ph".
Summers
12-12-2005, 03:13 PM
you should have clocked him upside the head with your grocery goods
My Granny, who's in her 90s now, tells this great story of when a travelling salesman came to try to sell her dad something at their farm. They were standing there talking as she walked to the well to get a bucket of water. As she walked by, the guy said, "Oh, she's a big girl! She'll make some farmer a good wife some day!" So she threw the water at him. :lol Go Granny.
and yet, very funny!
********************************************
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
****************** A half-gallon of 2% milk,
****************** A carton of eggs,
****************** A quart of orange juice,
****************** A head of romaine lettuce,
****************** A 2 lb. can of coffee,
****************** And a 1 lb. package of bacon.
*
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the* items in front of the cashier.
*
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
"You must be single."
*
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.** She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
*
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
*
The drunk replied, "'Cause you're ugly!"
She had Ed Zachary Disease :lol
A man waiting in the checkout line noticed an elderly lady looking at him
She says I'm sorry for staring but you remind me of my son who I lost a while back.
he said "that's ok"
She said "Do you mind if i call you Son?"
He said "Sure no problem"
She said "Great, Thanks Son"
She got though the check out waved and said :"Goodbye Son" and left
He said "Goodbye Mom"
the man placed a gallon of milk, a dozen eggs and a loaf of bread down
The cashier rang him up and said "ok that's $105.50"
He said "What, $105.50 for milk, eggs and bread?
The cashier said "No you mom who just left said you would pay for her groceries as well"
:lmao
The sone
12-12-2005, 03:30 PM
Maybe he meant with a "ph".
yeah jekka...i mean you are sooooo very pop-culture.
Maybe he meant with a "ph".
You can call me Phat Taco :lol
SpursWoman
12-12-2005, 03:36 PM
Maybe he meant with a "ph".
No, utter rudeness seems to be in these days....justified or not. :fro
While I openly mock truely fat people, I hate the fact that everyone is trying to be so damn skinny. Skinny (to the extreme people are taking it) is unhealthy. What's wrong with a little meat on the bones?
A franchise store that sells men opened in a city, where a woman could go to purchase a man from among thousands of men. The store was comprised of six floors, and the men increased in positive attributes as the shopper ascended the different levels. However, there was one catch! As you opened the door to any floor you could choose a man from that floor, but you could not go back down to a previous floor except to exit the building. There was positively no stopping on any lower floors on the way down.
So a woman goes to the store to find a man:
On the first floor, the sign reads: THESE MEN HAVE JOBS.
The woman reads the sign and says to herself, well that's better than my last boyfried but I wonder what's further up? So, up she goes.
On the second floor, the sign reads: THESE MEN HAVE JOBS, DESPISE SPORTS, AND DON'T DRINK BEER.
The woman smiles and says to herself, that's great, but I wonder what's further up?
On the third floor, the sign reads: THESE MEN HAVE JOBS, DESPISE SPORTS, DON'T DRINK BEER, AND ARE EXTREMELY GOOD LOOKING.
She says to herself, Hmmm...that's much better, but I still wonder what's further up?
On the fourth floor, the sign reads: THESE MEN HAVE GOOD JOBS, DESPISE SPORTS, DON'T DRINK BEER, ARE EXTREMELY GOOD LOOKING, AND DO ALL THE HOUSEWORK.
This time the woman thinks to herself, Wow! This is very tempting, but there must be more - much more - further up!
On the fifth floor, the sign reads: THESE MEN HAVE GREAT JOBS, DESPISE SPORTS, DON'T DRINK BEER, ARE EXTREMELY GOOD LOOKING, DO ALL THE HOUSEWORK, COOK ALL OF THE MEALS, DON'T GRIPE ABOUT ANYTHING, AND WILL ALWAYS BE FAITHFUL!
She thinks to herself "WOW!" How close to perfect can you get? I can't wait to see what's waiting for me upstairs!!!
As she arrives on the sixth floor, the sign reads: YOU ARE VISITOR NUMBER 1, 956, 779, 012 TO THIS FLOOR. THERE ARE NO MEN ON THIS FLOOR! THIS FLOOR EXISTS SOLELY AS PROOF THAT WOMEN ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE. THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT MAN-MART AND HAVE A NICE DAY.
ShoogarBear
12-12-2005, 03:44 PM
:lmao from the first floor.
lilmads
12-12-2005, 04:37 PM
All three were really funny :lmao
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.