Samr
01-16-2006, 12:58 AM
After watching the conclusion of the reality show America's Next Top Model, I have come to the conclusion that our nation, as a whole, is drastically misinformed. I feel bad because it seems like they confused "top" with "whore" and "model" with "anorexic." I am at a crossroads as to whether I should be arroused by their clothing or whether I should pick the pepper out of my upper bicuspids with their forearm.
Forget "next top model," because I don't care. There are hundreds of thousands of pretty women out there most of whom reside at the University of Florida and I really do not care that one more has been singled out as being the best. Quite frankly, they all do the same damn thing anyway. It is about as relevant to our current pop-culture as the NHL playoff race. But of course, I would not make this thread if I did not first have a solution. Which I do.
Behold, America's Next Top Porn Star. Wake up Tyra Banks- this is the world of free internet porn and Jenna Jameson and I am willing to bet that if you stuck your head into your dog's house right now, the damn thing is spanking it to some beastiality website while chatting up bitches online.
Sex sells, as was proven when the Olsen Twins, Lindsay Lohan, and Nicole Richie became, for all intents and purposes, deflated blowup dolls. And look where their careers went. Or on the other hand, look at how Paris Hilton became famous. She whored out. She found a loophole (or rather, a fuckhole) in the prostitution laws and she exploited it. So why the hell are you selling us starved maniquins when all we really want is to watch two chicks dig it our for who gets to take it up the ass first?
So please, TV Land, wake up and smell the Emo- get with the times and stop putting drama queens with no tits and flat asses on my television. If I wanted to see that kind of water works I would have been in Indianapolis. And actually, on that note, I bet you could get the Vikings to sponsor the show. It would be a hit, I'm telling you. America's Next Top Porn Star.
Look out Spike Lee, here I come!
Forget "next top model," because I don't care. There are hundreds of thousands of pretty women out there most of whom reside at the University of Florida and I really do not care that one more has been singled out as being the best. Quite frankly, they all do the same damn thing anyway. It is about as relevant to our current pop-culture as the NHL playoff race. But of course, I would not make this thread if I did not first have a solution. Which I do.
Behold, America's Next Top Porn Star. Wake up Tyra Banks- this is the world of free internet porn and Jenna Jameson and I am willing to bet that if you stuck your head into your dog's house right now, the damn thing is spanking it to some beastiality website while chatting up bitches online.
Sex sells, as was proven when the Olsen Twins, Lindsay Lohan, and Nicole Richie became, for all intents and purposes, deflated blowup dolls. And look where their careers went. Or on the other hand, look at how Paris Hilton became famous. She whored out. She found a loophole (or rather, a fuckhole) in the prostitution laws and she exploited it. So why the hell are you selling us starved maniquins when all we really want is to watch two chicks dig it our for who gets to take it up the ass first?
So please, TV Land, wake up and smell the Emo- get with the times and stop putting drama queens with no tits and flat asses on my television. If I wanted to see that kind of water works I would have been in Indianapolis. And actually, on that note, I bet you could get the Vikings to sponsor the show. It would be a hit, I'm telling you. America's Next Top Porn Star.
Look out Spike Lee, here I come!