phyzik
01-18-2006, 01:13 PM
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/blog/index?name=simmons
Bill Simmons
posted: Jan. 17, 2006 | Feedback
Up until this month, my list of top-10 career highlights looked like this:
1. Went to the Pats-Rams Super Bowl, sat in the same end zone where Adam Vinatieri's game-winning field goal landed, got relatively drunk on Bourbon Street, handed in a column read by tons of people.
2. Made fun of contestants on "Real World/Road Rules Challenge," provoked angry Internet response from Theo.
3. Went to Games 4 and 5 of the 2004 ALCS, stayed up until 5:30 a.m. writing about it, ended up with a column read by tons of people.
4. Convinced Luke Perry in the "Jimmy Kimmel Live" green room to reenact the scene where his dad on "90210" was blown up.
5. Once provoked Elgin Baylor to say the words, "That guy's an [rhymes with bassbowl]."
6. Nearly completed fantasy baseball trade on cell phone while walking down ESPYs red carpet.
7. Broke news of Celtics-Lakers trade involving Gary Payton and Chris Mihm, then sent taunting e-mail to Ric Bucher.
8. Appeared on the "Rome is Burning" forum with Roger Lodge.
9. Wrote a book that new Sox second baseman Mark Loretta admitted reading in NESN interview last month.
10. During the 2005 NBA All-Star Weekend, I was recognized by the members of Kyle Korver's posse, who then bought me a drink.
Well, now I have a new career highlight: During a New York radio interview Monday, Isiah Thomas threatened to make trouble for me. Talking to Stephen A. Smith he said, "I'm gonna tell ya ... if I see this guy Bill Simmons, oh, it's gonna be a problem with me and him ..." I thought it was ironic he threatened me on Martin Luther King Jr. Day -- I'm sure MLK would have been proud. Given that this was the same guy who sucker-punched his best friend on the Pistons (Bill Laimbeer) during the 1992 season, I am thinking about travelling with a full-time bodyguard, or at the very least a can of mace or one of those tasers that you can get in a stalker catalog.
Here's my question for Isiah, who's very angry with me ...
Right now, you have a roster that costs something like $120 million. You completely overhauled the Knicks' roster in 14 months, and now you're trying to overhaul it again. There's no rhyme or reason to anything you're doing. Your team doesn't have a first-round pick next summer, and in the summer of 2007 -- widely considered to be the deepest draft in 20-plus years -- the Bulls have the right to exchange first-round picks with you (most of your fans don't even know this). You also have to give another first-round pick to Phoenix before 2010. And you have at least eight or nine players on your roster who are completely, utterly, totally untradable, including someone with a possible heart defect and someone whose back is in such bad shape nobody would insure his contract. Your team also has one of the worst records in the league. And your fans are downright traumatized at this point, to the degree that you went into hiding until your recent winning streak. Now you're available to talk to the press again, of course.
So why shouldn't you be criticized for any of this? Why should you be immune? Why should the fact that you destroyed the CBA, then coached an underachieving Pacers team that came within two possessions of making the 2004 Finals one year after you left ... why isn't this relevant in some way? I would love to know the answer to this. So either you can e-mail me, have one of your PR people call me to explain it, or tell me as while you're making trouble for me on the street.
Or, I can fly to New York and we can have a dignified conversation about this stuff. Followed by you beating the living hell out of me.
It's up to you.
And just for the record, in the summer of 2004, I wrote a nice column about you and your old Pistons team; maybe you missed it. So I couldn't really be "out to get you," right? You're a public figure. When you screw up, people are going to write about it. Get over yourself.
:drunk :drunk
Bill Simmons
posted: Jan. 17, 2006 | Feedback
Up until this month, my list of top-10 career highlights looked like this:
1. Went to the Pats-Rams Super Bowl, sat in the same end zone where Adam Vinatieri's game-winning field goal landed, got relatively drunk on Bourbon Street, handed in a column read by tons of people.
2. Made fun of contestants on "Real World/Road Rules Challenge," provoked angry Internet response from Theo.
3. Went to Games 4 and 5 of the 2004 ALCS, stayed up until 5:30 a.m. writing about it, ended up with a column read by tons of people.
4. Convinced Luke Perry in the "Jimmy Kimmel Live" green room to reenact the scene where his dad on "90210" was blown up.
5. Once provoked Elgin Baylor to say the words, "That guy's an [rhymes with bassbowl]."
6. Nearly completed fantasy baseball trade on cell phone while walking down ESPYs red carpet.
7. Broke news of Celtics-Lakers trade involving Gary Payton and Chris Mihm, then sent taunting e-mail to Ric Bucher.
8. Appeared on the "Rome is Burning" forum with Roger Lodge.
9. Wrote a book that new Sox second baseman Mark Loretta admitted reading in NESN interview last month.
10. During the 2005 NBA All-Star Weekend, I was recognized by the members of Kyle Korver's posse, who then bought me a drink.
Well, now I have a new career highlight: During a New York radio interview Monday, Isiah Thomas threatened to make trouble for me. Talking to Stephen A. Smith he said, "I'm gonna tell ya ... if I see this guy Bill Simmons, oh, it's gonna be a problem with me and him ..." I thought it was ironic he threatened me on Martin Luther King Jr. Day -- I'm sure MLK would have been proud. Given that this was the same guy who sucker-punched his best friend on the Pistons (Bill Laimbeer) during the 1992 season, I am thinking about travelling with a full-time bodyguard, or at the very least a can of mace or one of those tasers that you can get in a stalker catalog.
Here's my question for Isiah, who's very angry with me ...
Right now, you have a roster that costs something like $120 million. You completely overhauled the Knicks' roster in 14 months, and now you're trying to overhaul it again. There's no rhyme or reason to anything you're doing. Your team doesn't have a first-round pick next summer, and in the summer of 2007 -- widely considered to be the deepest draft in 20-plus years -- the Bulls have the right to exchange first-round picks with you (most of your fans don't even know this). You also have to give another first-round pick to Phoenix before 2010. And you have at least eight or nine players on your roster who are completely, utterly, totally untradable, including someone with a possible heart defect and someone whose back is in such bad shape nobody would insure his contract. Your team also has one of the worst records in the league. And your fans are downright traumatized at this point, to the degree that you went into hiding until your recent winning streak. Now you're available to talk to the press again, of course.
So why shouldn't you be criticized for any of this? Why should you be immune? Why should the fact that you destroyed the CBA, then coached an underachieving Pacers team that came within two possessions of making the 2004 Finals one year after you left ... why isn't this relevant in some way? I would love to know the answer to this. So either you can e-mail me, have one of your PR people call me to explain it, or tell me as while you're making trouble for me on the street.
Or, I can fly to New York and we can have a dignified conversation about this stuff. Followed by you beating the living hell out of me.
It's up to you.
And just for the record, in the summer of 2004, I wrote a nice column about you and your old Pistons team; maybe you missed it. So I couldn't really be "out to get you," right? You're a public figure. When you screw up, people are going to write about it. Get over yourself.
:drunk :drunk