What are the best pickup lines?

[usckk]

Here are my favorites. Please add yours.

1) If I could make the alphebet, i'll put "u" and "i" together.

2) You're like the San Antonio Spurs. I'm obsessed with the Spurs.

3) I can read palms. *Hold her palm* Acually, I don't. I just want to hold your hand.

4) Are you hurt? Your so wonderful, you must have fell from heaven.

5) I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock.

6) Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way.

7) If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.

8) Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

9) Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

10) Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

11) Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

12) Are you tired? Cause you've been running through my mind all day!

13) Are you a surgeon? CAuse you've just took my heart away!

14) Hey gorgeous the power company is looking for you you're so electrifying.

15) True, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place.

16) Most people like to watch the Winter Olympics cuz it only happens every 4 years, but I'd rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone like you only happens once in a lifetime.

[Mr. Peabody]

What has two thumbs and likes oral sex -- this guy! *extend both your thumbs and point to yourself*

[hussker]

One of my old college lines...

As a Physiology Major, I maximize human performance.

Have you been maximized lately?

[FRITO BANDITO]

do you like my frito breath;)

[Samr]

Best pickup lines that are cliche and funny, or best pickup lines that actually work? Two completely different animals.

Here's one for the interim-
-If you have big feet: "Some people say that big feet mean something, but I gave up trying to compensate."
-Or alternatively: "I used to believe that whole thing about having big shoes, but then my feet stopped growing at size [whatever]."

The key is to deadpan. Yes it sounds stupid and yes, if you have the comedic capacity of an arrogant prick, it comes off as quite presumptuous. You have to lay it down as the exact opening line, and then just act joking/flirty/natural once she cracks a smile.

[Shelly]

Please tell me you've never actually used any of these!

[Samr]

I have homemade bussiness cards (Office Max, MS Word, and a printer) that say "Freelance gynecologist." Sadly, I have never been in the possition to test these.

[TxJudsonRocketTx]

This one always works for me...
"Hi im Mark Grado."

[usckk]

I'm thinking about using one tomorrow for a girl, which one should i use. A good one, not a dirty one.

[NZHayden]

i saw this on a t shirt:
wanted - meaningful overnight relationship

[RashoFan]

^
All you have to say is Hi I'm Hayden and I am from New Zeland...the accent you have will have us American girls melting....
BTW Hayden, do you know what a jaffle is?

[hussker]

^
All you have to say is Hi I'm Hayden and I am from New Zeland...the accent you have will have us American girls melting....
BTW Hayden, do you know what a jaffle is?



SOMEBODY IS OVULATING!!!!!

[hussker]

Sorry, could not resist!

[Harry Whittington]

Hey Harry, how does this thing work. If you ask me, not such a good line...SUMBITCH!

[TOP-CHERRY]

Damnit.

Use this one:
"If beauty was painful, you'd be in an eternal scream."

[Tim Reynolds]

i usually use, "hey im Ed Helicopter Jones from the spurstalk forums, wanna fuck?"

[Shelly]

i usually use, "hey im Ed Helicopter Jones from the spurstalk forums, wanna fuck?"

That would work!

[ShoogarBear]

SOMEBODY IS OVULATING!!!!!Now I bet THAT would be an outstanding pickup line!

[George W Bush]

Hey baby doll, I'm George W Bush. There's WMD in my pants and it's waitin' to blow you up.

That one worked on Laura.

I'm George W Bush and I just made myself horny. :tu

[Harry Whittington]

sumbitch!!!

[Samr]

"It's getting late and I'm about to crash. Do you have insurance?"

[Tim Reynolds]

Hey baby doll, I'm George W Bush. There's WMD in my pants and it's waitin' to blow you up.

That one worked on Laura.

I'm George W Bush and I just made myself horny. :tu
dude, your schitick is weeeeeak

[adrienne]

I'll tell you what not to use.

"Do you work for FedEx? Because I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package..."

Yes, that's been used on me. And I can tell you from that experience...you won't get laid. You won't get a phone number. You'll get a digusted look and maybe a slap in the face.

[hussker]

I'll tell you what not to use.

"Do you work for FedEx? Because I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package..."

Yes, that's been used on me. And I can tell you from that experience...you won't get laid. You won't get a phone number. You'll get a digusted look and maybe a slap in the face.


[SO, if I may ask...WHAT HAS BROWN DONE FOR YOU????

[midgetonadonkey]

I usually walk up to a girl with one nut hanging out of my zipper and say "Que paso Mijita?"

[hussker]

I usually walk up to a girl with one nut hanging out of my zipper and say "Que paso Mijita?"


Is that NUT "GAYTOWNSPUR"?

[spurs=bling]

why did i come in this thread?

[Harry Whittington]

why did i come in this thread?

Is that a pick up line or are ya just trying to shoot at me like a friggin bird? SUMBITCH!

[Guru of Nothing]

I thought this was settled a long time ago. The best line ever is, "Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

[LuvBones]

why did i come in this thread?http://spurstalk.com/forums/images/smilies/smilol.gif

[The sone]

no no no!!! youre doing it all wrong...first you need to be sure the girl is gonna laugh. you also have to be sure that the line doesnt make you come off like some poon-hound jerk-off. its not the easiest thing to do but its very do-able if you put some thought into it.

heres the ultimate...

(1)"hi im insert name"...
now you must make some kind of contact at this point. shaking hands is ok but go for a soft touch on the arm. its safe but very sensual.
(2)now, with a semi confused face, look her in the eye and slightly tilt your head as you ask..."do you like mushrooms?"...okay..now shes either gonna look at you really really funny or say yes. either one is ok.
(3)now the big finish...you say..."cause im a "fun guy"!" get it? fungi!! HA!! i love that line!

no go out my little babies...and enjoy!

all i ask for this knowledge is an invite to the wedding...

[ZStomp]

no no no!!! youre doing it all wrong...first you need to be sure the girl is gonna laugh. you also have to be sure that the line doesnt make you come off like some poon-hound jerk-off. its not the easiest thing to do but its very do-able if you put some thought into it.

heres the ultimate...

(1)"hi im insert name"...
now you must make some kind of contact at this point. shaking hands is ok but go for a soft touch on the arm. its safe but very sensual.
(2)now, with a semi confused face, look her in the eye and slightly tilt your head as you ask..."do you like mushrooms?"...okay..now shes either gonna look at you really really funny or say yes. either one is ok.
(3)now the big finish...you say..."cause im a "fun guy"!" get it? fungi!! HA!! i love that line!

no go out my little babies...and enjoy!

all i ask for this knowledge is an invite to the wedding...

What the hell did you just say??

[The sone]

i dunno im sleep typing...

[Guru of Nothing]

no no no!!! youre doing it all wrong...first you need to be sure the girl is gonna laugh. you also have to be sure that the line doesnt make you come off like some poon-hound jerk-off. its not the easiest thing to do but its very do-able if you put some thought into it.

heres the ultimate...

(1)"hi im insert name"...
now you must make some kind of contact at this point. shaking hands is ok but go for a soft touch on the arm. its safe but very sensual.
(2)now, with a semi confused face, look her in the eye and slightly tilt your head as you ask..."do you like mushrooms?"...okay..now shes either gonna look at you really really funny or say yes. either one is ok.
(3)now the big finish...you say..."cause im a "fun guy"!" get it? fungi!! HA!! i love that line!

no go out my little babies...and enjoy!

all i ask for this knowledge is an invite to the wedding...

Best line I ever witnessed was in a bar back in my port o'call days. My buddy approached a lady and asked her, "How about me, you, and a turkey-pot pie?"

Instant gold!

You had to be there. The proper pauses with the line was essential.

[AlamoSpursFan]

I also witnessed a miracle pick up line.

A friend and I were standing by the bar in some dive in San Marcos after a San Antonio Riders game at Bobcat Stadium when a gorgeous girl walked by and he said, loud enough for her to hear "Darlin', you got a purdy mouf!"

I thought, what an idiot. There's no way that's gonna hit.

Later that evening, I was sitting in the parking lot swilling beers alone as he was up in her apartment balls deep in fine ass.

To this day I don't believe it, but as Craig Shoemaker would say, "That's a true story!"

[baseline bum]

For Mexican/Spanish/Cuban/Peruvian/etc. chicks:
Tengo un culo peludo.

For Italians:
Ti puzza figa

Japanese:
Chinko Sha-buuuuuu-rre <--- have no idea how to spell it

Brazilian chicks:
Voce tem uma bunda gostosa. Eu quero buceta.

[RashoFan]

SOMEBODY IS OVULATING!!!!!
:flipoff






:lol

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

That would work!

:cooldevil

[Spurminator]

2 minutes is all I ask.

[Silver21_Black20]

no no no!!! youre doing it all wrong...first you need to be sure the girl is gonna laugh. you also have to be sure that the line doesnt make you come off like some poon-hound jerk-off. its not the easiest thing to do but its very do-able if you put some thought into it.

heres the ultimate...

(1)"hi im insert name"...
now you must make some kind of contact at this point. shaking hands is ok but go for a soft touch on the arm. its safe but very sensual.
(2)now, with a semi confused face, look her in the eye and slightly tilt your head as you ask..."do you like mushrooms?"...okay..now shes either gonna look at you really really funny or say yes. either one is ok.
(3)now the big finish...you say..."cause im a "fun guy"!" get it? fungi!! HA!! i love that line!

no go out my little babies...and enjoy!

all i ask for this knowledge is an invite to the wedding...

:lmao

[SpursWoman]

i usually use, "hey im Ed Helicopter Jones from the spurstalk forums, wanna fuck?"


Sorry ... that one works around these parts. :)

[sa_butta]

"Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?"

"Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good."

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

Sorry ... that one works around these parts. :)

:smokin :angel

[angel_luv]

3) I can read palms. *Hold her palm* Acually, I don't. I just want to hold your hand.
11) Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

I am Angel and ( if you mean them) I approve these lines.

[Mixability]

3) I can read palms. *Hold her palm* Acually, I don't. I just want to hold your hand.
11) Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

I am Angel and ( if you mean them) I approve these lines.


Rasho could pucker his purple lips with no line at all and you'd melt! :lol

[ShoogarBear]

Rasho to angel: oooga-grunt-grunt-grunt *snort* *spit*
angel: swoooon

[angel_luv]

Rasho could pucker his purple lips with no line at all and you'd melt! :lol

All it took was a smile.

[FromWayDowntown]

i usually use, "hey im Ed Helicopter Jones from the spurstalk forums, wanna fuck?"

That's funny -- that's the line that's been working for me too.

[SpursWoman]

· Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
· Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
· Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.
· I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
· Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine.
· I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
· I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.
· Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?
· If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
· There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
· Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
· You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

:lmao :lmao :lmao



· That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
· Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.
· Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?
· Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's.
· If you were a buger I would pick you first.
· You: Can I borrow a quarter? She: why? ( if she says sure or something else get her to ask you why) You: so I can call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. (have something quick to say afterwards)
· Are your pants from outer space? 'cause your butt is out of this world.
· He: Excuse me, want to dance? She: No. He: Maybe you didn't hear me ... I said you look really fat in those pants! :lol
· He : Hey Baby ... Wanna dance? She : No. He : Oh, C'mon! Lower you're standards a little. I did... :lol
· Are you a parking ticket? 'cause you got fine-fine-fine written all over ya.
· Hi, my name's {name}. Remember it, you'll be screaming it later tonight!
· Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
· Wow! Are those real? :lmao
· Girl, you must be tired 'cause you've been running through my mind all day!
· There must be a keg in your pants, cuz I want to tap that ass.
· You're like milk, I want to make you a part of my complete breakfast.
· I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
· I know milk does a body good, but damn girl, how much have you been drinking?
· You with those curves, and me with no brakes ...
· True, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place.
· Nice Shoes. Wanna fuck?
· I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.
· Are you free tonight or is it gonna cost me?
· I'm going to have sex with you tonight no matter what so you might as well be there.
· You have been very naughty! Go to my room!
· Hey babe, do you realize that my mouth can generate over 750 psi?
· You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno.
· You're ugly but you intrigue me.
· No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
· Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.

[ShoogarBear]

There must be a keg in your pants, cuz I want to tap that ass.

I am ashamed to say once I was with a friend who used that line.

[Shelly]

That's funny -- that's the line that's been working for me too.


:lmao x 457349797397987012935465097547950847

[Mixability]

or you can do the "chin nod" like a true messican.

damn i hate when guys do that to my girl in the club, like she's actually gonna "chin nod" back.

now i know why i never went to Grahams again.

:lol

[1Parker1]

Sadly, this is a true pick-up line that some guy tried to use on me last night at a club:

"They say the human body is made of 250 bones, but when I see you I get 251"

:shootme

[LuvBones]

^:lol

[angel_luv]

Sadly, this is a true pick-up line that some guy tried to use on me last night at a club:

"They say the human body is made of 250 bones, but when I see you I get 251"

:shootme


Don't shoot you. Shoot him! :lol Put that fool out of his misery!

[LONJAS]

Sadly, this is a true pick-up line that some guy tried to use on me last night at a club:

"They say the human body is made of 250 bones, but when I see you I get 251"

:shootme



Sorry...my game was off last night....:depressed

[Tim Reynolds]

Sadly, this is a true pick-up line that some guy tried to use on me last night at a club:

"They say the human body is made of 250 bones, but when I see you I get 251"

:shootme
thats what you get for being at a club on a monday

[Mixability]

thats what you get for being at a club on a monday

:lmao

seriously, was it "FUCK VD, GET A VD" night?

[ShoogarBear]

Sadly, this is a true pick-up line that some guy tried to use on me last night at a club:

"They say the human body is made of 250 bones, but when I see you I get 251"

:shootme

Notice you didn't really say whether it worked or not
:drunk

[SpursWoman]

I am ashamed to say once I was with a friend who used that line.


That's Manny's favorite, IIRC from similar threads past. :lol :lol

[SpursWoman]

Notice you didn't really say whether it worked or not
:drunk

:lmao

[Marklar MM]

-I'm bigger and better than the Titanic ... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic
-I'm good at math, U+I=69
-I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.
-Please help the homeless. Take me home with you...
-You are a 9.999. Well, you'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.
-You're good at mathematics, right? Would you say 69 was a perfect square?
-Be unique and different, just say yes.
-Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.
-Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
-That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
-If you don't wanna have kids with me, then why don't we just practice?
-Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
-If I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head?
-If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my Wookie.
-The word of the day is "legs." Let's say we head back to your place and spread the word.
-I bet you $40 you're gonna turn me down.
-You: I'm with the release the twins foundation. Her: What are you talking about? You: How 'bout releasing those twins?!
(YAYA...Grind ripoff. But oh well.)

[NZHayden]

"wanna go halves in a baby?"

[NZHayden]

^
All you have to say is Hi I'm Hayden and I am from New Zeland...the accent you have will have us American girls melting....
BTW Hayden, do you know what a jaffle is?
i have no idea what a jaffle is, unless your talking about a low fat pie

[sac rocha]

when they buy me a miller lite. that usually works.

[Harry Whittington]

My doc says the best line to pick up is Lead II