YOUR contract of wife(or husband)ly expectations

[Samr]

This news article was already posted (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0217062contract1.html), but the only thing that really came from the thread was the common agreement that the dude was a narcissistic asshole and he made a few people feel sick.

Let's take this another way.

Assuming all moral tenants were thrown out the window for a second, and you were allowed the opportunity for a similar sort of behavioral prenup, what would YOUR Contract of Wifely Expectations say?

Gross overassumptions of your own worth encouraged. Objectification of the opposite sex expected.

[BigZak]

hmmm...it's like a trap...show the world or, the spurstalk world what a chavenistic pig i can be or not...hmmm...i think most here know already...so FUCK it...

It's pretty simple. All the freedom of singleness with all the perks of marriage. And this would be a one way street in the man's favor of course. :lmao

NEXT...

[Spurminator]

Wow!

14 GBD's for Unexpected Anal? This guy is generous!!

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

Wow!

14 GBD's for Unexpected Anal? This guy is generous!!


:lol That dude is a freaking coconut.





WTH is "unexpected anal" anyway???

"Hey! What's this?!! How did my pee-pee end up in your poo-hole?!"

"Wow, that's 14 GBD's for you babe! Where's my notebook? Way to be a team player honey!!"

[ObiwanGinobili]

:lol That dude is a freaking coconut.





WTH is "unexpected anal" anyway???

"Hey! What's this?!! How did my pee-pee end up in your poo-hole?!"

"Wow, that's 14 GBD's for you babe! Where's my notebook? Way to be a team player honey!!"

:lmao !!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol :lol
Ed you are my hero..... and my new sig.

[ObiwanGinobili]

but not to divert to much from the original post - so my Husbandly expectations list will follow shortly.

[ObiwanGinobili]

Obiwans Husbandly Expectations list:

I don;t get off on enslaving anyone or selfishly using them with total disregard to thier feelings, wants, needs or comfort.... os my list would be short.

1. Husband to always take out the trash - form every trash receptacle, once per day.

2. Any of the following 5 times per week: back rub, neck rub, foot rub, brush my hair.

3. Sex 3 times a week minimum.

4. Husband will always be the one to run back to the car and get whatever was forgotten; esp. when it is very hot, very cold, or I've already taken my shoes off.

5.HUsband to always be the one to clean up children's vomit.

[JoeChalupa]

"I do" is the only contract I need.

[Shelly]

"I do" is the only contract I need.

ditto

[SpursWoman]

1. Breathing at intervals necessary to maintain vital organs.

[midgetonadonkey]

1. Wife must swallow.
2. Wife must bake me pies.
3. Wife must have my 40 and her legs open as soon as I walk in the door.

Wife receives in return, the honor of taking my name and baking my pies.

[midgetonadonkey]

I'm sure many of you can now see why I am not married.

[SequSpur]

To Obey.

[NameDropper]

1. Wife must swallow.
2. Wife must bake me pies.
3. Wife must have my 40 and her legs open as soon as I walk in the door.

Wife receives in return, the honor of taking my name and baking my pies.

Rumor has it if you'll eat her pie she'll bake you one.

[TOP-CHERRY]

A back rub at least 3 times a week.

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

:lmao !!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol :lol
Ed you are my hero..... and my new sig.


I aim to please.

[Boris]

So do I.

[Ballcox]

After 7 yrs. of marriage I've come up with 3 concrete rules regarding marriage and keeping my wife happy (at least most of the time).

1. Have sex AT LEAST twice a week, also meaning that you're taking that drive 'downtown' as well.

2. She can refuse you for sex, but don't EVER fucking refuse her request for sex, bad idea.

3. At least once a week, do something around the house that she doesn't expect. This can be a repair, some kind of yard work, even suggesting a movie she's been wanting to watch. Men, you've got to keep your ears open on this one, I actually keep a list to refer to. But this type of action really lets her know you actually do listen to her and know what some of her needs are.

That's all I've got after 7 years of marriage, these 3 have worked pretty damn good for me so far. I'll be back in 7 more years with any additions to this list. Of course if any other men out there have an addition, please feel free to add! :lol

[SpursWoman]

Keep that up and you will be happily married forever! :wow :lol

[Mixability]

Keep that up and you will be happily married forever! :wow :lol

I look forward to getting married to my gf. I can barely keep up with her in the quantity of sex dept. :spin

[ObiwanGinobili]

After 7 yrs. of marriage I've come up with 3 concrete rules regarding marriage and keeping my wife happy (at least most of the time).

1. Have sex AT LEAST twice a week, also meaning that you're taking that drive 'downtown' as well.

2. She can refuse you for sex, but don't EVER fucking refuse her request for sex, bad idea.

3. At least once a week, do something around the house that she doesn't expect. This can be a repair, some kind of yard work, even suggesting a movie she's been wanting to watch. Men, you've got to keep your ears open on this one, I actually keep a list to refer to. But this type of action really lets her know you actually do listen to her and know what some of her needs are.

That's all I've got after 7 years of marriage, these 3 have worked pretty damn good for me so far. I'll be back in 7 more years with any additions to this list. Of course if any other men out there have an addition, please feel free to add! :lol


:tu :tu
Speaking as a woman who's also been married for 7 years..... awesome.
Great list. your doing well.

oh.. and take out the trash. :lol

[Cant_Be_Faded]

i will never take the trash out
thats her job

[SpursWoman]

That's when you unsuspectingly turn back the covers and it's dumped all on your side. :)

[Ballcox]

^ Just took out the trash this morning! :lol

[BigZak]

i'll take out the trash gladly, but she's doing the dishes. :tu

[BIG DADDY JOSH]

my babydoll took the trash out this morning before i could get to it.............dunno why.....when i stay the night i usually take it out....me thinks me in trouble

[Spurminator]

3. Sex 3 times a week minimum.

Can I get you in touch with my wife?