ShoogarBear
02-21-2006, 02:25 PM
Link (http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/writers/kelly_dwyer/02/21/worst.awards/3.html)
Quoted, Unfortunately
Some of the more memorable utterings of the season's first half ...
"No."
-- Bulls coach Scott Skiles, when asked if Chris Paul (coming off a 25-point, 13-assist, 3-steal effort) was "doing the same things you used to do."
"It was so amazing -- wow -- because all the best players on every team were calling me. I got a call from Garnett. I was like Garnett wants to play with me! Wow. Then I'm going to Minnesota. I got a call from Kobe. Oh, my goodness, Kobe wants me to play with him! And then I'm going to the Lakers. Then I get a call from Elton. Then I'm going to the Clippers. Then 'Melo. I didn't think I was that good."
-- Ron Ron Artest, happy like a child at Christmas.
"He's a turnover waiting to happen."
-- Larry Brown, caught by TV mics in the midst of a game, on Lakers guard Smush Parker.
"He's a really a talented kid who can defend. He's athletic and Phil [Jackson] likes big guards. He'll flourish in that system."
-- Larry Brown, postgame, on Parker to the assembled throng of media.
"I'm smart enough not to ever get into that situation. My moon is aligned very closely with [Tim Duncan's]. I'm waiting for his retirement announcement because mine will be 30 seconds after it. I have no need to prove this, that or the other by going to this, that or the other city: [so critics can say] 'Oh, he did it again, so he's for real.' 'For real' can kiss my ass."
-- Gregg Popovich. I'm glad somebody finally called "for real" out. For real, yo.
"I don't know how to be scared by anybody. I don't know how to run from nobody. I'm from the old school, old school New York guys. Just keep hammerin' the nails in, baby."
-- Mark Blount, crazy man.
"I got calls from Vegas, St. Louis, Kansas City, Anaheim, San Diego, Tampa, just all over. But David Stern and I were talking and David suggested Oklahoma City. And I said, 'Oklahoma where?'"
-- Hornets owner and obvious geography major George Shinn. Way to engender yourself to those OKC faithful.
"I told him his shorts were too short. He had those Huggies on."
-- Hornets forward J.R. Smith, trash talking Bulls guard Ben Gordon. Yeah, screw him for actually wearing shorts that fit.
"I like our fans, but honestly, half of them don't know basketball."
-- Jerome James. Wow.
"Yeah, they're booing me now, but they'll cheer me later. The same thing happened in Seattle. They booed me there, too. Now they're praying to have me back."
-- Jerome James. Wow.
"If Jeff Van Gundy supplies [Stromile] Swift with minutes, he'll put up big numbers without needing the ball much, and wrap up the Most Improved Player award by the All-Star break."
-- Kelly Dwyer.
"He really is like trying to push on an oak tree. The problem is, the oak tree's moving. And the oak tree's pretty good."
-- Shane Battier, on guarding Ron Artest.
"I woke up this morning and it just kind of fell out."
-- Tim Duncan, on his then-newish short hairdo. Sounds like something George Costanza would say to a tenant board while trying to get a new apartment.
"I'm telling you, Darko is a Serbian gangster. Darko's got some bodies back there [in Serbia-Montenegro]. He can go psycho on guys."
-- Rasheed Wallace, on Darko Milicic. You hear that, Pat Garrity?
"Great! Why don't we bring all of them in? Who else is in Miami? [Rony] Seikaly? [John] Crotty?"
-- Pat Riley, after hearing Tim Hardaway outright beg for a contract with the Heat. Anything for a John Crotty reference.
"Who will be the biggest surprise of the season? The Detroit Pistons. The '04 champs will surprise initially by boasting a .500 record after the season's first two months, and they'll surprise again when spring comes along by zoning their way to a third-straight Finals appearance. When all is said and done, most players would rather wear a coat and tie to work then try to have to score on that frontline."
-- Kelly Dwyer. By ".500 record" I, of course, meant they'd win 89 percent of their first 45 games.
"My reputation has been destroyed by Jerry Colangelo and Peter Vecsey from the New York Post, as simple as that. Ever since they went out and talked about me, my life sucks and my career and I blame them."
-- Danny Fortson. I'd bust out a pigtail joke, but he'd either push me, or sue me.
Quoted, Unfortunately
Some of the more memorable utterings of the season's first half ...
"No."
-- Bulls coach Scott Skiles, when asked if Chris Paul (coming off a 25-point, 13-assist, 3-steal effort) was "doing the same things you used to do."
"It was so amazing -- wow -- because all the best players on every team were calling me. I got a call from Garnett. I was like Garnett wants to play with me! Wow. Then I'm going to Minnesota. I got a call from Kobe. Oh, my goodness, Kobe wants me to play with him! And then I'm going to the Lakers. Then I get a call from Elton. Then I'm going to the Clippers. Then 'Melo. I didn't think I was that good."
-- Ron Ron Artest, happy like a child at Christmas.
"He's a turnover waiting to happen."
-- Larry Brown, caught by TV mics in the midst of a game, on Lakers guard Smush Parker.
"He's a really a talented kid who can defend. He's athletic and Phil [Jackson] likes big guards. He'll flourish in that system."
-- Larry Brown, postgame, on Parker to the assembled throng of media.
"I'm smart enough not to ever get into that situation. My moon is aligned very closely with [Tim Duncan's]. I'm waiting for his retirement announcement because mine will be 30 seconds after it. I have no need to prove this, that or the other by going to this, that or the other city: [so critics can say] 'Oh, he did it again, so he's for real.' 'For real' can kiss my ass."
-- Gregg Popovich. I'm glad somebody finally called "for real" out. For real, yo.
"I don't know how to be scared by anybody. I don't know how to run from nobody. I'm from the old school, old school New York guys. Just keep hammerin' the nails in, baby."
-- Mark Blount, crazy man.
"I got calls from Vegas, St. Louis, Kansas City, Anaheim, San Diego, Tampa, just all over. But David Stern and I were talking and David suggested Oklahoma City. And I said, 'Oklahoma where?'"
-- Hornets owner and obvious geography major George Shinn. Way to engender yourself to those OKC faithful.
"I told him his shorts were too short. He had those Huggies on."
-- Hornets forward J.R. Smith, trash talking Bulls guard Ben Gordon. Yeah, screw him for actually wearing shorts that fit.
"I like our fans, but honestly, half of them don't know basketball."
-- Jerome James. Wow.
"Yeah, they're booing me now, but they'll cheer me later. The same thing happened in Seattle. They booed me there, too. Now they're praying to have me back."
-- Jerome James. Wow.
"If Jeff Van Gundy supplies [Stromile] Swift with minutes, he'll put up big numbers without needing the ball much, and wrap up the Most Improved Player award by the All-Star break."
-- Kelly Dwyer.
"He really is like trying to push on an oak tree. The problem is, the oak tree's moving. And the oak tree's pretty good."
-- Shane Battier, on guarding Ron Artest.
"I woke up this morning and it just kind of fell out."
-- Tim Duncan, on his then-newish short hairdo. Sounds like something George Costanza would say to a tenant board while trying to get a new apartment.
"I'm telling you, Darko is a Serbian gangster. Darko's got some bodies back there [in Serbia-Montenegro]. He can go psycho on guys."
-- Rasheed Wallace, on Darko Milicic. You hear that, Pat Garrity?
"Great! Why don't we bring all of them in? Who else is in Miami? [Rony] Seikaly? [John] Crotty?"
-- Pat Riley, after hearing Tim Hardaway outright beg for a contract with the Heat. Anything for a John Crotty reference.
"Who will be the biggest surprise of the season? The Detroit Pistons. The '04 champs will surprise initially by boasting a .500 record after the season's first two months, and they'll surprise again when spring comes along by zoning their way to a third-straight Finals appearance. When all is said and done, most players would rather wear a coat and tie to work then try to have to score on that frontline."
-- Kelly Dwyer. By ".500 record" I, of course, meant they'd win 89 percent of their first 45 games.
"My reputation has been destroyed by Jerry Colangelo and Peter Vecsey from the New York Post, as simple as that. Ever since they went out and talked about me, my life sucks and my career and I blame them."
-- Danny Fortson. I'd bust out a pigtail joke, but he'd either push me, or sue me.