Bill Simmons: Kobe for MVP

[mike detroit]

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/060414


is it just me or does that whole article read like it was written by a developmentally disabled 3rd grader?

[1Parker1]

:lmao No way. That article was hilarious! I loved the LOST reference to the Pistons starting 5.

Bill Simmons is one of the funniest sports writers, IMO. :tu

[Darrin]

He's lost his voice. This guy was a very funny, very funny. Like laugh-until-you-fall-out-of-your-chair funny at least 3 times per article. Plus, he gets to me with this:


Ben Wallace: In theory, he should be a top-10 pick for starting the Artest melee. Just think, if Wallace had calmed down after the initial shove, Artest never would have lounged on the scorer's table, John Green never would have tossed that drink, the ensuing melee never would have happened, and Detroit's most dangerous rival (an excellent Pacers team) wouldn't have completely self-combusted. Instead, Wallace kept carrying on and trying to reach Artest, and eventually, one of his fans turned into the NBA version of Lee Harvey Oswald. Eighteen months later, the Pacers are floundering and Larry Legend is making noises about blowing everything up.

(By the way, this seems like a good time to mention that Wallace was only suspended for six games. Although David Stern admits privately that, had Wallace handed Lee Harvey Green the cup of soda and screamed, "Throw it at him! Throw it!" ... they probably would have raised it to eight.)

Like Ben Wallace is responsible for the actions of Ron Artest and the asshole who threw the cup. Did he overreact? You're damn right he did. But let's review some of the things that Artest has done to the Pistons - deliberately hitting Rip in the nose, spraining Mike Curry's wrist, starting a scuffle with Zelly Rebraca - and get back to me when Wallace's career outbursts total anything near what Artest has done JUST AGAINST THE PISTONS.

Someone needs to explain to him the difference between the on-the-court confrontation and the off-the-court one. Six games is one more than Rick Fox got for re-confronting Doug Christie after both had been ejected. Six games is 3x the amount that Jermaine O'Neal got for punching Ben Wallace, Mike Curry, and Corliss Williamson in a late 2002 game.

You won't find me defending Ron Artest, Jermaine O'Neal, Jamaal Tinsley, or Stephen Jackson. You won't find me defending the Pistons fan who threw the cup or the sorry-ass patrons who threw popcorn and beer and a chair at the players. But I will defend Ben Wallace because I can name six of those confrontations that were just as bad as what Wallace did that night, and the NBA treats them with 1-2 game suspension if the player doesn't throw a closed-fist punch.

It's like blaming the guy who started the fight with Kermit Washington when it ended with Washington throwing a punch that almost killed Rudy Tomjanovich.

He's so blinded by being a Boston fan that it's unreal.

[mike detroit]

He's lost his voice. This guy was a very funny, very funny. Like laugh-until-you-fall-out-of-your-chair funny at least 3 times per article. Plus, he gets to me with this:





that was the first thing that struck me, it's like he was saving those lines up for a year and a half and figured hey, they're not going to get any more topical

[baseline bum]

The guy said way worse shit about the Spurs, and I still think he's the best sportswriter in the business.

[Extra Stout]

Simmons is past his prime.

[mikejones99]

Actually he speaks of that INdiana Pacers drubbing of the Pistons quite frequently. He says it should go down as one of the top 5 events to have tivo of ever. You have to read out of your area to get the real facts about the Brawl in the Palace. And Kobe or Tony Parker should be MVP.

[Cant_Be_Faded]

ahahaha what a great article

isn't it so weird that the pacers have simply not been the same since that melee though? LOL

[Darrin]

isn't it so weird that the pacers have simply not been the same since that melee though?

It's a damn shame; it really is. I looked forward to that game all day, and had been circling games with the Pacers as far back as 2001. They seemed like the new rivalry in the Eastern Conference. It wasn't everybody's cup of tea, but I loved that Conference Finals series. I wanted more of that.

Both had the talent, schemes, and the stories to be the two powers for years to come. I don't feel anywhere near as attached to the Pistons-Heat because it didn't have the roots that Detroit-Indiana had.

It sucks, but there's nothing I can do about it, or anyone else can do about it. It set off a series of events that has led to the demise of the team.

[mikejones99]

Stern over reacted and gave Indiana too much penalties.

[mike detroit]

Stern over reacted and gave Indiana too much penalties.


:lol you're so predictable

[Darrin]

Stern over reacted and gave Indiana too much penalties.

- It's Ben Wallace's fault for stopping the game clock with that shove.

- It's the NBA's fault for penalizing the team too much.

- It's the alcohol's fault.

- It's the Palace's fault for serving alcohol.

- It's the Palace's security to blame.

- It's a mental illness Ron Artest has.

- It's black athletes being beat up by a white audience.

- It's the natural reaction of any "real" man to defend yourself.

You know who's not being held responsible here? Ron Artest, the Pistons fans, Stephen Jackson, Jermaine O'Neal, and Jamaal Tinsley.

[Obstructed_View]

...but not Ben Wallace trying to throw it down or whoever decided he should be in the game with a 15 point deficit and 40 seconds to play.

[Darrin]

...but not Ben Wallace trying to throw it down

I'll say again; he is responsible for being in an NBA fight. I can document 10 different incidents like this that barely make a blip on the newsreel.

Jermaine O'Neal was fined and suspended two games for throwing PUNCHES at Ben Wallace and Mike Curry in 2002. Kobe Bryant and Reggie Miller fell over a broadcast table in 2001 while they were scuffling. There's Alonzo Mourning and Larry Johnson throwing fists. This is off the top of my head. I'm sure the number of incidents I could produce would be closer to 20-30 than 10 if I put some time into it. What he did was outside of playing basketball, but not outside the realm of normal behavior for an NBA player.

And what's easier to defend is that Ben Wallace has never tried to justify away what he did. He didn't say six games was too long, he didn't say he wanted to fight Ron Artest or fire back in the war of words the Pacers seemed to carry on by themselves. He shut his fucking mouth about the whole incident.


or whoever decided he should be in the game with a 15 point deficit and 40 seconds to play.

This was the Pistons 8th game; it was the beginning of the season. Ben Wallace had missed training camp due to appendicitis that resulted in surgery (he missed all preseason games) and he had missed 2 games because his eldest brother died. My guess is that he was getting into game shape.

Everyone talks about Ron Artest's up-bringing - how about losing your Grandmother, Mother, and Oldest Brother within a 4-year period? Maybe he didn't feel like being pushed into the basketball support by some guy trying to be tough.

Why was Artest on the floor with the game in hand?

[TDMVPDPOY]

htf did ben win dpoy the year he was suspended, and takin out half of the pacers frontline with him??

[Darrin]

htf did ben win dpoy the year he was suspended, and takin out half of the pacers frontline with him??

Because he got rid of his main competition in the brawl, didn't you here? He knew all this shit was going to go down! :lol

[Darrin]

I just wanted to say sorry for going off. This is obviously still a sore subject with me as a fan of the Pistons.

[mikejones99]

I think Indiana has a much more difficult time thinking of that bullshit.

[Darrin]

I think Indiana has a much more difficult time thinking of that bullshit.

Very True.

[Obstructed_View]

Because he got rid of his main competition in the brawl, didn't you here? He knew all this shit was going to go down! :lol
I'm sure that if Ben had any inkling of what was going to happen, he wouldn't have done what he did. To his credit, I don't recall him complaining about his punishment, even though it was probably too harsh.

[mike detroit]

I'm sure that if Ben had any inkling of what was going to happen, he wouldn't have done what he did. To his credit, I don't recall him complaining about his punishment, even though it was probably too harsh.


nope, he didnt'. i disagree though, i think he got just about the right amount of games. his behavior escalated things, and then artest's(and then jackson's) took it WAY beyond. ben should be blamed for bad behavior that night, he didn't act professionally, but Ron-ron took everything to a level that things should never go to. I'm almost positive that's basically the thinking behind why the suspensions went the way they did.