I Almost Castrated This Bitch Last Night [Archive]

Dingle Barry

05-14-2006, 04:34 PM

Some drunk Mav fan in Austin is lucky to wake up this morning.

Immediately after Horry missed the prayer at the buzzer, some douche friend of my Mav fan duplex neighbors barges into my house (neglected to lock the door), stumbles into the living room yelling "YEAH, MAVS!" and talking shit about the game.

I tend to take the Spurs too seriously and felt rage swell up inside of me. Who did this guy think he is? My first thought was to stand up. grab a butcher knife, and stab him in the testicles, but that would sever ties with the neighbors most likely.

So, I instead calmly said "you might try to act like you have been there before," before quickly adding "oh, thats right, this is the most success your team has ever had, and you still havent won dick yet."

While perhaps a decent retort, I felt disappointed in myself for deciding against the nut stabbing.

What would you have done?

DubMcDub

05-14-2006, 04:36 PM

I would have realized that basketball is just a game and making a post like this in the first place makes it sound like you have some severely out of whack priorities in life.

Leetonidas

05-14-2006, 04:36 PM

Nut stab. :tu

spurschick

05-14-2006, 04:36 PM

I don't care what the reason is - if somebody you don't really know walks into your house... kill them.

picnroll

05-14-2006, 04:37 PM

Mav fan? I'd go with a pen knife.

ALVAREZ6

05-14-2006, 04:38 PM

I would have beaten the shit out of him.

Forget the knife, beating someone down is the most fun when you do it with your own hands.

Dingle Barry

05-14-2006, 04:40 PM

I would have realized that basketball is just a game and making a post like this in the first place makes it sound like you have some severely out of whack priorities in life.

I'll hazard to guess you have a vagina.

Dingle Barry

05-14-2006, 04:42 PM

I'll hazard to guess you have a vagina.

Nothing against the fine ladies on this board, of course. :king

iron mike tryson

05-14-2006, 04:44 PM

Start a firm.
Get them at the next game.

DubMcDub

05-14-2006, 04:51 PM

I'll hazard to guess you have a vagina.

I'll "hazard to guess" you probably don't have much else worthwhile going on in your life if you get this worked up over a Spurs loss.

Hook Dem

05-14-2006, 05:03 PM

I'll "hazard to guess" you probably don't have much else worthwhile going on in your life if you get this worked up over a Spurs loss.
Look at Mr.Cool acting like he is above all others on this board!

spurschick

05-14-2006, 05:08 PM

I'll "hazard to guess" you probably don't have much else worthwhile going on in your life if you get this worked up over a Spurs loss.

Must you hijack every thread? This is a Spurs forum. You want to talk basketball? That's fine, but it seems that your main purpose here is to criticize any comment made by a Spurs fan. You're a guest here.

atxrocker

05-14-2006, 05:12 PM

spurschick

05-14-2006, 05:15 PM

you wanted to castrate some guy cause he said 'yeah, mavs'? holy crap, big guy, you may wanna take a chill pill. and i would hate to see what happens if the mavs win the series and the guy tries to say something to you afterwards

You wouldn't react to some guy you didn't know busting into your house drunk?! Forget that he's a Mavs fan for a minute and see the big picture.

Dingle Barry

05-14-2006, 05:18 PM

you wanted to castrate some guy cause he said 'yeah, mavs'? holy crap, big guy, you may wanna take a chill pill. and i would hate to see what happens if the mavs win the series and the guy tries to say something to you afterwards

Try to learn how to read. Just give it a shot. It's fun!

Read it again, and see if there is something else besides "yeah mavs" that might piss me off.
I'm sure you left your door open for drunk Lakers fans to taunt you during their century of dominating you.
What's your address, by the way?

atxrocker

05-14-2006, 05:18 PM

You wouldn't react to some guy you didn't know busting into your house drunk?! Forget that he's a Mavs fan for a minute and see the big picture.

sure, i can forget about it for a minute. but wait, didnt HE start with the sentence some DRUNK MAVS FAN rushed into his house? had it been a happy spurs fan, would he still wanna cut the dudes nuts off? i think his point was a mavs fan talked trash after the spurs lost, thus my original reply.

atxrocker

05-14-2006, 05:20 PM

Try to learn how to read. Just give it a shot. It's fun!

Read it again, and see if there is something else besides "yeah mavs" that might piss me off.
I'm sure you left your door open for drunk Lakers fans to taunt you during their century of dominating you.
What's your address, by the way?

first, i dont leave my door open for ANYBODY to rush into my house, its common sense. second, you may want to clarify in your post that its the fact he came into your house that pissed you off, and not the fact he is a mavs fan. clarification is key here. :drunk

Dingle Barry

05-14-2006, 05:20 PM

P.S. Idiots insinuating that I am insane might want to note that

1) I would have been well within my rights to shoot the bastard, if I were so inclined (this is Texas yee haw)

2) I didn't actually do anything but vent my testicidal thoughts on a Spurs board.

Dingle Barry

05-14-2006, 05:21 PM

first, i dont leave my door open for ANYBODY to rush into my house, its common sense. second, you may want to clarify in your post that its the fact he came into your house that pissed you off, and not the fact he is a mavs fan. clarification is key here. :drunk

Hence my comment about reading comprehension. You aren't going to make it very far with those cognitive skills, "big guy" and veritable master of common sense.

KEDA

05-14-2006, 05:23 PM

I don't care what the reason is - if somebody you don't really know throws dog shit on your yard... kill them.

FIXED!!!

DubMcDub

05-14-2006, 05:24 PM

Must you hijack every thread? This is a Spurs forum. You want to talk basketball? That's fine, but it seems that your main purpose here is to criticize any comment made by a Spurs fan. You're a guest here.

Ask some of the more reasonable people on the board if I'm willing to have a nice conversation about basketball.

englishspursfan

05-14-2006, 05:29 PM

guns an knives are out of the question when its to do with sport.i woulda met him half way an took a stick to him.

ManuTim_best of Fwiendz

05-14-2006, 05:29 PM

Dude, some of you guys are wack...knock the guy out, kick his ass...whatever...anything else is psychopathic :rolleyes

it's just a game. geez louise.

I can't believe some of you are supporting the idea of shooting a guy over talking shit about a Spurs game.

to think we need some Mavs and Kings fans to bring you guys back down to earth.

Kori Ellis

05-14-2006, 05:32 PM

Dude, some of you guys are wack...

it's just a game. geez louise.

I can't believe some of you are supporting the idea of shooting a guy over talking shit about a Spurs game.

to think we need some Mavs and Kings fans to bring you guys back down to earth.

They aren't talking about shooting him over talking shit. They are talking about shooting him over coming into his house without permission (not that I would have shot him or stabbed his nuts).

rayray2k8

05-14-2006, 05:34 PM

Start a firm.
Get them at the next game.
Yeah just get 'em back in the next game...
This series will more than likely go to 7 games..
I feel alot of stressful nights up ahead.:depressed
But I think it will work itself out. :spin

rayray2k8

05-14-2006, 05:35 PM

ManuTim_best of Fwiendz

05-14-2006, 05:37 PM

They aren't talking about shooting him over talking shit. They are talking about shooting him over coming into his house without permission (not that I would have shot him or stabbed his nuts).
I find it hard to believe some random dude Mavs fan barged in...care to clarify it dingle? He's probably associated with him through friends. How the hell would he know randomly to barge into the a Spurs fans house? if it was even a house.

Vashner

05-14-2006, 05:38 PM

Na.. sounds like he deserved a good old style fist fight.

Kori Ellis

05-14-2006, 05:38 PM

I find it hard to believe some random dude Mavs fan barged in...care to clarify it dingle? He's probably associated with him through friends. How the hell would he know randomly to barge into the a Spurs fans house? if it was even a house.

It wasn't anyone random. It was his neighbor's friend.

texbumTHElife

05-14-2006, 05:39 PM

Had a couple Mavericks fans in my bar absolutely losing their shit after a good first quarter by the Mavs. They proceeded to make some comment to me about being rather calm after such a dominating first quarter by the Mavs. I replied with something a long the lines of

"It may come as a suprise to you but the game has four quarters and (as of last night) this is still a best of five series. I know you arent used to any sort of success in the playoffs but I have seen this before. I save my excitement for the River parade."

Needless to say I didnt hear another comment from him until the last minute of the fourth when he made a comment about the Spurs fans being bigger whiners than any fans he'd ever seen. I gave him the "stfu" look and put my hand in front of his face in a sort of "talk to the hand" gesture.

Needless to say he got the message and I still got my 20% :)

texbumTHElife

05-14-2006, 05:40 PM

Oh and to get back on topic, I wouldnt have stabbed the guy barging into my house but he would have hit the ground harder than Dirk stepping on Duncans ankle. Anyone, even a Spurs fan, that comes rushing into my house uninvited is gonna get ktfo.

ManuTim_best of Fwiendz

05-14-2006, 05:47 PM

It wasn't anyone random. It was his neighbor's friend.
yeah...well some of the posters bumping the idea of shooting him like he was some random drunken idiot out of nowhere seemed to think otherwise...that's going a bit overboard off the wrong impression ...

not to mention the act of castration, but I think that was just dingleberry exaggerating a twisted joke/fantasy of getting back at a Mavs fan. Which put the kings and mavs fans at a cause for concern :lol

Man we got a variety of Spurs fans...

SPARKY

05-14-2006, 06:15 PM

Hmmm...a Mavs fan entering a place and acting like an ass? That's never happened before.

texbumTHElife

05-14-2006, 06:17 PM

Hmmm...a Mavs fan entering a place and acting like an ass? That's never happened before.

Love the Avatar SPARKY. We could really use that guy right now and he would have been HUGE in the Sac series.

AD anyone?

SPARKY

05-14-2006, 06:21 PM

Anyways, of course a Mavs fan would think it's ok for someone to come into your house and trash it. After all, it's happened every time they've made the playoffs.

mouse

05-14-2006, 06:34 PM

Go ahead macho man and stabb the Mavs fan. and when your in prison tell us another story of some drunk piston fan prisoner stumbling in your prison cell to ass rape you. :lmao

Smackie Chan

05-14-2006, 06:35 PM

Why not do something really harsh? Sit his drunk ass down and whine about how the Spurs got fucked by the refs for 4 hours :lmao

Dingle Barry

05-14-2006, 06:56 PM

Haha. Both mouse responses were what I was fishing for with this thread. All you other uptight, literalist women, prepare for long range laser-guided testicle/tactical attacks.

ManuTim Best of Fwiendz gets it. Kudos to you, sir. :cheer

Jeff Probst

05-14-2006, 07:09 PM

This is no Bull shit. one night around 3 am this car comes crashing through my living room. I was super pissed since I waited all week to watch Max X that I had Tvo'd the day earlier. This ugly stupid drunk ass hole drunk out of his ugly stupid drunk ass hole mind, had the nerve to ask me for a beer with his head still poking through the windsheld of his now fucked up car.
I was about to crack his dome with a 44oz NASCAR collectors mug when I reailized it was Peter Holt.

Anyway long story short...... I never called the cops, and I now have season tickets :smokin

http://www.americanrealitytv.com/images/jeffprobst.jpg

Mr Hanky

05-14-2006, 07:48 PM

samikeyp

05-14-2006, 08:06 PM

I would have beaten his ass for coming into my house uninvited..not because he was talking shit. Hey..his team won, he earned the right to talk shit but not to come in uninvited.