Why GOD Why?

[coachtf]

We have this beautiful young blonde named Courtney who works with us now. All of the guys and even some of the girls think she is just PERFECTION. Every day she walks in and you just can't help but stare and admire her. Well today I'm waiting at the door to use the downstairs bathroom and Courtney walks out. I think to myself nice and then ............I smell the most foul odor coming from the bathroom. Courtney just lit the frickin bathroom up! :oops She hauled ass and got around the corner before I could even turn back around. Blonde, Blue Eyes, and an ass that literally will suck your eyeballs out of your head and kill you. :lol :madrun

[ORION]

she sounds hot .......

[scott]

Even hot chicks need to drop deuce ya know

[ORION]

Even hot chicks need to drop deuce ya know
I dated the hottest girl in highschool and she used to rip farts in my face. I didn't give a rats ass because she was so fine

[coachtf]

You are right bro but this smelled like pure "ape shit" and more.

[ORION]

You are right bro but this smelled like pure "ape shit" and more.
thank god for allergies

[jman3000]

i wouldn't care ... if your shit doesn't stink then you might ... but it does.

[ORION]

you can use that as blackmail. tell her she has to have sex with you or you'll tell everyone that the smell took the crome off the handle

[SpursWoman]

Maybe that's the ice breaker you need .... explain to her about the courtesy flush(es). :lol

[coachtf]

Trust me when I say that my shit stinks but this chick had people damn near throwing up on the first floor today.

[SpursWoman]

Then obviously she's got a stomach bug ... cut her some slack, you know that fucking sucks. :spin

[ORION]

Trust me when I say that my shit stinks but this chick had people damn near throwing up on the first floor today.
what the hell is up with the one restroom anyway.

[coachtf]

I work in a secure fed building now that has only the one restroom for that area.

[ORION]

well at least you know she is the type of girl who is not scared to bomb china at work. Thats a marring girl right there

[scott]

Just don't take her out for Indian food on the first date... or any date for that matter.

[MaNuMaNiAc]

So you are amazed that her shit stinks? Funny, I've never heard of any kind of shit that smelled like roses.

[jman3000]

and you said she ran away? if i were in her shoes i'd try to play it as cool as possible. maybe even add a "do you smell that?" comment.

[Nesterofish]

In some parts of the world, that smell is called "normal." People live with their animals, or they wipe their asses with their hands.

[coachtf]

This was more than just a "big shit" or her having a stomach problem. This chick had people leaving to work upstairs for the rest of the day.

[SpursWoman]

It has to be a stomach problem .... *normal* shit shouldn't peel the paint off the walls.

[coachtf]

I think you are probably right SW but it caught me off guard because it was her. You know I work with guys that are all taking supplements and trust me when I say that I have never in my life experienced anything quite like this.

[SpursWoman]

Maybe you should have offered to take her to the emergency room. :lol

[Extra Stout]

I think you are probably right SW but it caught me off guard because it was her. You know I work with guys that are all taking supplements and trust me when I say that I have never in my life experienced anything quite like this.
Well, if it doesn't gross you out too much, maybe she'll seem more approachable to you now.

[SpursWoman]

More importantly .... did she leave a video? :lol

[ShoogarBear]

Shouldn't this be in the Oh, Shit thread?


Maybe that's the ice breaker you need .... explain to her about the courtesy flush(es). :lolNo kidding. Like my dad used to always yell at us, "Mix a little water with it!"

[ElMuerto]

Did it smell like something died? I get that all the time.

[ShoogarBear]

I work in a secure fed building now that has only the one restroom for that area.Maybe she's working on a secret chem-bio project.

[lil'mo]

can you give this girl my number?

[coachtf]

Laughing at SW.

[Extra Stout]

Think of it this way... every time you drive through Amarillo, you'll think of her and smile.

[Vizzini]

I will always remind my friends that if they want to bring their opinion of a good looking girl down a little bit, just remember that every 24 to 36 hours they take a shit. The looks on their faces tells me it works every time.

[Buddy Holly]

Funny, I've never heard of any kind of shit that smelled like roses.

Mine do, but that probably has to do with my diet only consisting of freshly plucked red roses.Sometimes I'll cheap and go with a white rose.

[Buddy Holly]

Maybe it was the person before her who left that bad odor and SHE also had to endure it.

Hell, even if that isn't the case just make your mind believe it was.

[SpursWoman]

Maybe it was the person before her who left that bad odor and SHE also had to endure it.

Hell, even if that isn't the case just make your mind believe it was.


That's exactly what User suggested. :lol

[John Doe]

Maybe thinking someone else lit one up before she went it will change your mind and her image remains intact.

[2Blonde]

That would certainly explain why she practically ran away. Maybe she was getting sick from the smell someone before her left and she wanted to hurry and get TF out of there. :lol

[ShoogarBear]

If it smelled that bad before using it, she should have just dangled her rump out a window.

[ORION]

If it's yellow leave it mellow. If it's brown flush it down.

[ChumpDumper]

She's had her stomach stapled.

[coachtf]

Well I saw Courtney at work again this morning and she is just HOT! The funny thing was she initiated conversation with me and asked if I had eaten at the new chinese place down the street. I just started laughing and she looked at me as if I was on crack. :smokin

I could not even look at the poor girl and not grin but it was a pretty cool conversation. She knows I'm married and that my wife and I just had another baby so she was very sweet and expressed her love for children. We talked for a while and then she said she had to get back to work.

I wonder if she knows just how bad it was?

[jman3000]

give her my number.

[ShoogarBear]

I think that was her way of giving you her excuse.

You should have asked her what dishes she recommended.

[coachtf]

It was a little weird so I pussed out of the conversation. Like I said she is very sweet but one of the girls that works with me says she has done aerobics with Courtney for years and she burps and farts like she's a guy. :lol It's strange but she just seems so shy and reserved that you almost get the impression that she is a FREAK outside of work. :drunk

[ORION]

I wonder if she knows just how bad it was?
fox smells his own hole

[scott]

It was a little weird so I pussed out of the conversation. Like I said she is very sweet but one of the girls that works with me says she has done aerobics with Courtney for years and she burps and farts like she's a guy. :lol It's strange but she just seems so shy and reserved that you almost get the impression that she is a FREAK outside of work. :drunk

Seriously, this chick is a keeper. Leave your wife.

[SpursWoman]

she burps and farts like she's a guy


You're wife must be pretty slick if she's hiding it so well that you're still under the impression that girls don't burp or fart. :lol :lol

[Ocotillo]

Why am I reading this thread?