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View Full Version : The Second Greatest Thing We've Ever Posted: Crazy Cat Lady Telemarketing Call



mcornelio
07-21-2006, 07:55 AM
DOWNLOAD MP3 HERE (http://media.odeo.com/files/3/8/5/647385.mp3)

A description really won't do this call justice. So just listen as, over eight minutes, an insane cat lady calls a telemarketer a terrorist, a rapist, an Iraqi insurgent, a murderer, a serial killer, a criminal, a sexual abuser, a hater, hurter and life deserter. And that's just twenty seconds of the phone call. She also claims to have had an appendix rupture due to telemarketing calls and that she can produce an incriminating list of hundreds of people who have been murdered by telemarketers. That's another ten seconds.
And it goes on and on and on, interrupted only occasionally by Alex's calm, hilarious responses and a sound from the woman's throat sounding very much like the regurgitation of her entire esophagus.

Through it all, Alex is unflappable. Scummy profession aside, he's our new hero: smooth as silk, sarcastic yet polite. We love his understated response to being accused of being a serial rapist: "Wow! That's a pretty harsh accusation!" The woman uses this as a segue to tell him about a friend who was gang raped by telemarketers; Alex doesn't even blink. What's cooler than being cool? Ice cold!

There's a strange logic about the entire recording that becomes clear after the second or third listen. We recommend listening to it again and again. This is the second best thing I've ever posted.
DOWNLOAD MP3 HERE (http://media.odeo.com/files/3/8/5/647385.mp3)

pache100
07-21-2006, 09:47 AM
over eight minutes, an insane cat lady calls a telemarketer a terrorist, a rapist, an Iraqi insurgent, a murderer, a serial killer, a criminal, a sexual abuser, a hater, hurter and life deserter.

Don't those things apply to all telemarketers? IMO they do. And, I speak from experience...I used to be one (it was my first job). What an armpit of a profession. I think ALL telemarketing should be outlawed.

Spurminator
07-21-2006, 10:12 AM
I was about to post this.

Fantastic stuff.

I was a telemarketer once as well (really more of a fund-raiser for the school, but not that much of a difference). Hated the job, but every once in a while I could expect some self-righteous douche to give me a ten minute lecture on the preciousness of their time.

Mixability
07-21-2006, 10:58 AM
Hated the job, but every once in a while I could expect some self-righteous douche to give me a ten minute lecture on the preciousness of their time.

I was never a telemarketer, but I would find it annoying for someone to waste their time lecturing me about wasting their time. Just hang up and I'd get the picture, morons!

pache100
07-21-2006, 11:14 AM
I was never a telemarketer, but I would find it annoying for someone to waste their time lecturing me about wasting their time. Just hang up and I'd get the picture, morons!

That's what I always said, when I was doing that. It's much kinder to just hang up on me than to wait until the end of my spiel and say you're not interested. But, I did like the tactic one guy tried...he asked them what time they eat dinner, and told them to go ahead and give him their home phone number and he'll be sure to call them back. :lol

Spurminator
07-21-2006, 11:15 AM
What I meant to say was that it was actually the most entertaining part of my job.

Spurminator
07-21-2006, 11:24 AM
And the dinner argument always made me laugh...

First of all, everyone eats dinner at a different time. Some people eat dinner at 5:30, some people eat at 8:00.

I actually got into an argument with a guy over the phone about that (probably unprofessional, but what did I care, it was a 12-hr weekly college job)... He argued that we shouldn't call at any time that people could be eating dinner. Which leaves work hours or sleep hours. There's no point in calling when everyone is at work, and do you really want us calling when you're in bed?

I wanted people to hang up on me. If they said No but didn't hang up, I was required to continue with alternative amounts/offers. THAT was the worst part about the job... I'd ask if they'd like to give $100, they'd say they weren't interested in giving anything, and I'd have to read another paragraph about the college and ask if they'd be willing to give $50.

jaffies
07-21-2006, 12:17 PM
What was the 1st greatest thing?