CNN Breaking News

[judaspriestess]

Donald Rumsfeld is briefing president Bush: “Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.”

“Oh no!” exclaims the president, “that’s terrible!”

His staff is stunned at this unprecedented display of emotion, watching as Bush sits, head in hands.

Finally, he looks up and asks, “How many is a brazillion?”


:drunk

[IceColdBrewski]

http://www.spurstalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=26421&highlight=Brazillion

[judaspriestess]

and your point? its still a funny political joke :lol

I just saw it somewhere else today.

[MaNuMaNiAc]

point is perhaps you should do a search before posting

[judaspriestess]

my life does not revolve around these sights like yours does, so you can search for me :spin

thanks in advance.

[Nbadan]

Get your Dubya jokes..


After numerous rounds of 'We don't even know if bin Laden is still alive', bin Laden decides to send George W. a letter in his own writing to let him know that he is still in the game.

Bush opens the letter and sees only a coded message: "370HSSV-0773H". He can't figure it out, so he asks Karl Rove.

Rove suggests that the head of the CIA would certainly understand code, so Bush sends it to George Tenet. Tenet, however, can't figure it out, either. He suggests, "How about Condi? She has a doctorate, that means she's smart."

But Dr. Rice is baffled, too. As Bush is pondering the mysterious message lying on the desk before him, Colin Powell enters the Oval Office. When he sees the paper and reads what is written on it, he asks, "Sir, where did that come from?"

Bush replies testily, "Supposedly it's a message from Osama bin Laden. But what the hell does '370HSSV-0773H' mean?"

Powell clears his throat and replies, "Mr. President, I think you've been looking at the message upside down."

[Nbadan]

Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When George sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the First button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face.

Confused, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs. A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Bush carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries. But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them functioning well. "I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"

A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United States for talks. As the two men sit down, Hussein notices three buttons on Bush's chair and prepares himself for the Yank's revenge. They begin talking and Bush presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens. George snickers. A few seconds later he presses the second button. Saddam jumps up, but again nothing happens. Bush roars with laughter. When the third button is pressed, Saddam jumps up again, and again nothing happens. Bush falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics.

"Forget this," says Saddam. "I'm going back to Baghdad!"

Dubya says through tears of laughter, "What Baghdad?"

[Nbadan]

A guy walks in and asks the bartender, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?"

The bartender says, "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"

Bush says, "We're planning WWIII."

And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big tits."

The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits? Why kill a blonde with big tits?"
Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, "See, smartass! I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"

[Nbadan]

President Bush was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water.

He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted. The first kid says, "I want to go to Disneyland."

Bush says, "No problem, I'll take you there on Air Force One."

The second kid says, "I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's."

Bush says, "I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!!"

The third kid says, "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset!"

Bush is a little perplexed by this and says, "But you don't look like you're handicapped."

The kid says, "I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!!!"

[Nbadan]

Attorney General Ashcroft is visiting an elementary school. After the typical civics presentation, he announces, "All right, boys and girls, you can all ask me questions now."

A young boy named Bobby raises his hand and says, "I have 3 questions: 1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore? 2. Why are you using the USA Patriot Act to limit Americans' civil liberties? 3. Why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama Bin Laden yet?"

Just then the bell sounds and all the kids run out to the playground. Fifteen minutes later, the kids come back in class and again.

Ashcroft says, "I'm sorry we were interrupted by the bell. Now, you can all ask me questions."

A young girl raises her hand and says, "I have 5 questions: 1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore? 2. Why are you using the USA Patriot Act to limit Americans' civil liberties? 3. Why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama Bin Laden yet? 4. Why did the bell go off 20 minutes early? 5. Where's Bobby?"

[Nbadan]

While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they're intelligent.

"I do so by asking them the right question," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate." She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question: 'Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?'"

Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."

"Correct. Thank you and goodbye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?" "Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that technique in the future!"

Upon returning to Washington, he decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Jesse Helms. "I wonder if you can answer a question for me."

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?" says Jesse.

"Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"

Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you Sir?"

Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. Helms immediately call a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer.

Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem. "Now look here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Powell answers immediately, "It's me of course, you idiot."

Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!"

And Bush replies in disgust, "You're wrong, you idiot. It's Tony Blair!!"