BS NEWS: Tall Blacks Implement 10-man Defense!

[jaffies]

http://www.nba.com/media/zealand_600_082506.jpg

JAFFIES NEWS WIRE

Sunday, August 26, 2006


New Zealand Tall Blacks forced into 10-on-5 defense

When the going gets tough, the tough get more guys on the court.

The solution couldn't have been clearer for Tab Baldwin, the American-born coach of the New Zealand Tall Blacks, who appeared in his final game with the team on Sunday in a loss to a far superior squad from Argentina.

After trailing by 35 points in the 4th quarter, and a barrage of dunks by international superstar Manu Ginobili, Baldwin went to his infamous bag of tricks and pulled out a seldom-used loophole in the FIBA rulebook: The Sixth Man Rule.

"It's not like he was cheating," one official responded when questioned by the media. "Sometimes six heads are better than one."

In accordance with the rule and much to the surprise of the spectators on hand, the NZ coach calls for a timeout 2 minutes into the 4th quarter and sends in a sixth Kiwi for a much needed boost.

But the assult on the defense continued, and it seemed at first that the Argentinians didn't realize they were facing a team with one man heavy. Mid-range jumpers were falling, long-bombs were basically a given, uncontested lay-ups were handed out like herpes at a Taiwanese whorehouse. So, in a shameless display of desperation, coach Baldwin sent in 2 more players without consent from the officials. However, after a ref's timeout, and a quick check of the rulebook, the officials had to let this tactic slide because it was well within the coaches rights to flood the court with player after player in the event of a severe blowout.

8 players eventually grew to 10. Nothing changed. The gold-medal team from Argentina sustained their dominance over the exhausted New Zealand team. The Tall Blacks did not go down without a fight, though. Seconds before the final buzzer sounded, the entire 10-man squad shouted what was later described by Ginobili as "freakin' Karate Kid noises".

[carina_gino20]

:lol

[xamila rey]

http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/4366/nueva3ue4rm8.jpg


http://img219.imageshack.us/img219/9233/nuevazsp6us6.jpg


http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/5605/nueva5bq1hh4.jpg



http://img219.imageshack.us/img219/3903/ln1fo6sc9.jpg

[Sway]

Are they doing some type of dance?

[jaffies]

Are they doing some type of dance?


nevermind

[NorCal510]

my highschool varsity bball team could probably beat them

[Spurologist]

my highschool varsity bball team could probably beat them

nah. They have a former spurs, Rich Melzer on their squad

[Obstructed_View]

nevermind
So you're going to post this shit and then not explain what's actually going on in the picture when someone asks? Why not? Is it a big secret? Are you smarter than everyone else because you posted it and make people feel stupid for asking the question?

[NorCal510]

nah. They have a former spurs, Rich Melzer on their squad
he got cut already?

[sendman]

This is some sort of native ritual war dance. All NZ sports teams are using it before the game to intimidate their opponents.
And I can tell you,it's fun to see it.

[E20]

Damn, I never knew FIBA let teams use 10 players.

[jaffies]

So you're going to post this shit and then not explain what's actually going on in the picture when someone asks? Why not? Is it a big secret? Are you smarter than everyone else because you posted it and make people feel stupid for asking the question?


read the first post

[Obstructed_View]

read the first post
Yeah, dude. It's a fucking joke. ha ha ha ha. It's late, but am I missing something here? Someone asked what they were actually doing in the picture. Is it that hard to answer or say "I don't know"? Sendman did it.

[TxJudsonRocketTx]

It looks like this homo dance Euless Trinity was doing this year in the 5A D1 championship in Round Rock, some native tribe dance from around New Zealand they use to celebrate and crap its really lame in person and in photos obviously

[CubanMustGo]

It's called the "haka," a ritual dance the Mauri did before going into battle. You may think it's lame because you've never seen one done properly.

[NorCal510]

Yeah, dude. It's a fucking joke. ha ha ha ha. It's late, but am I missing something here? Someone asked what they were actually doing in the picture. Is it that hard to answer or say "I don't know"? Sendman did it.
on the rag

[Martin R]

Are they doing some type of dance?


two options :

a- You are 10 years old then I can tell you they are performing a typical NZ war dance called HAKA. Almost every NZ team does it before the game starts. It's a way of "intimidation".

b- You need to get a life quickly.

[DarkReign]

two options :

a- You are 10 years old then I can tell you they are performing a typical NZ war dance called HAKA. Almost every NZ team does it before the game starts. It's a way of "intimidation".

b- You need to get a life quickly.

2 options:

a) learn to use punctuation where needed
b) continue posting like a tough ass and trying to intimidate possible 10 year olds.

Asshole. Im 26 and have never seen this stupid dance. I dont know what Haka is, and I dont ever care to. Let me just get in line to bow down to your New Zealand knowledge.

As if anyone even fucking cares...

[Kori Ellis]

2 options:

a) learn to use punctuation where needed
b) continue posting like a tough ass and trying to intimidate possible 10 year olds.

Asshole. Im 26 and have never seen this stupid dance. I dont know what Haka is, and I dont ever care to. Let me just get in line to bow down to your New Zealand knowledge.

As if anyone even fucking cares...

:lol

Most Spurs fans know what Haka is if they'd paid attention because it's been discussed, brought up, pictured here many, many times since Marks was on the team. The same picture in the original post of this thread is in two other threads within the last week or so.

I'm sorry that Jaffies joke thread got so unfunny by people getting riled up.

[NZHayden]

the haka (nz vs South Africa 2005) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3o0pv6k37yE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PD1_puuceg0

the haka isnt a purely New Zealand thing

a bunch of hawaiians doing a haka - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srxEMAlZ804

NZ Vs Tonga (Rugby world cup 1999) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwNQI4MTaeY&NR

[ChumpDumper]

The Austrian national team does a waltz.

[Martin R]

2 options:

Asshole. Im 26 and have never seen this stupid dance. I dont know what Haka is, and I dont ever care to. Let me just get in line to bow down to your New Zealand knowledge.

As if anyone even fucking cares...

Now, (comma) 2 options for you :

a- You have never ever heard/read about the ALL BLACKS, which would say quite a bit about your sports knowledge.

b- You have a "fetiche" on punctuation.

yours,
Martin

[Obstructed_View]

:lol

Most Spurs fans know what Haka is if they'd paid attention because it's been discussed, brought up, pictured here many, many times since Marks was on the team. The same picture in the original post of this thread is in two other threads within the last week or so.

I'm sorry that Jaffies joke thread got so unfunny by people getting riled up.
I've been on here for I don't know how long, and I didn't know what a Haka was. It seemed like a legitimate question to ask, and I'm sorry that somebody would take the time to post a pissy response rather than just answering it.

[Kori Ellis]

I've been on here for I don't know how long, and I didn't know what a Haka was. It seemed like a legitimate question to ask, and I'm sorry that somebody would take the time to post a pissy response rather than just answering it.

Yeah, I didn't know why it wasn't just answered either :lol

This turned into a weird bitchy thread.

[Ariel]

Let it go Martin...

Yeah, I didn't know why it wasn't just answered either :lol

This turned into a weird bitchy thread.
Offseason boredom I guess...

[Kori Ellis]

Offseason boredom I guess...

Definitely.

The quality of discussion here isn't so high in the months of August and September. :lmao

Oh well, it's all good.

[Sway]

Nevermind
WTF? Do you work at being a dick or does it come naturally? If the question was below you then don’t fucking respond.



two options :

a- You are 10 years old then I can tell you they are performing a typical NZ war dance called HAKA. Almost every NZ team does it before the game starts. It's a way of "intimidation".

b- You need to get a life quickly.

Oh this is great you have to love the internet tough guys. How about this:

a- You are a jackass who has nothing better to do than throwing it in peoples faces that you know some random fact about the NZ National Team.

b- You have no life so you spend all your time researching random facts about the NZ National team.



This is some sort of native ritual war dance. All NZ sports teams are using it before the game to intimidate their opponents.
And I can tell you,it's fun to see it.

Thanks for the explanation.



It's called the "haka," a ritual dance the Mauri did before going into battle. You may think it's lame because you've never seen one done properly.
If it looks anything like some of the Samoan/Hawain tribal dances that I have seen then it is probably pretty cool to watch.

[Martin R]

Oh this is great you have to love the internet tough guys. How about this:

a- You are a jackass who has nothing better to do than throwing it in peoples faces that you know some random fact about the NZ National Team.

b- You have no life so you spend all your time researching random facts about the NZ National team.




love you, too. :loser

Martin

[Obstructed_View]

Yeah, I didn't know why it wasn't just answered either :lol

This turned into a weird bitchy thread.
Agreed on both points. If the first had happened, the second wouldn't have.

[jaffies]

OK, OK, since the thread hasn't been working/funny from the first post, I will explain the joke and my responses.

The thread was supposed to be a mock sports news report on a picture that I spotted in one of the other forums (Troll). The picture was of the New Zealand Tall Blacks team performing their ritual "Haka" dance before a game, but the picture was ambiguous and confusing enough that some might think something else was going on. I figured it would be amusing if instead of inserting a caption under the picture, much like those 'Caption This' threads that I love, I would create a fake news story. Once again, this didn't seem to fly.

I responded to Sway's original question with "Nevermind" because if you have to explain your jokes, your jokes weren't that funny to begin with. No, the question wasn't beneath me, and no, I wasn't trying to be a dick. So my 'nevermind' wasn't directed towards anyone, it was more of a admission of defeat from my side.

I responded to Obstructed's criticism with "read the first post" which looked and sounded like I was being an asshole, but that wasn't my intention.

R.I.P. tall blacks thread.

[Obstructed_View]

Dude, I totally knew it was a joke. I got it and I thought it was funny. I was, however, curious as to what was ACTUALLY in the picture so I was looking forward to the explanation. I don't think anyone intended to be critical of the joke by asking. I misunderstood the nevermind as being pissy and overreacted. Apologies for my part.

[NZ Spurs]

It looks like this homo dance Euless Trinity was doing this year in the 5A D1 championship in Round Rock, some native tribe dance from around New Zealand they use to celebrate and crap its really lame in person and in photos obviously

Damn there are some ignorant people....

Is it cool to mock other people's cultures?

[Duncan21]

It looks like this homo dance Euless Trinity was doing this year in the 5A D1 championship in Round Rock, some native tribe dance from around New Zealand they use to celebrate and crap its really lame in person and in photos obviously

?? your a fuckin idiot, what was the point in saying that. culture is important and New Zealand is a country that works hard in keeping it, we don't care weather you like it or not, but i don't see how you can't respect it. whats you problem?

[NZ Spurs]

He's a kid, let him be.

He would probably struggle to place New Zealand on a map anyway.

[DarkReign]

Now, (comma) 2 options for you :

a- You have never ever heard/read about the ALL BLACKS, which would say quite a bit about your sports knowledge.

My sports knowledge? Based on a dance from New Zealand? All I needed to know about your assertations. Youre an idiot. Welcome to SpursTalk, youll fit right in.

[Martin R]

My sports knowledge? Based on a dance from New Zealand? All I needed to know about your assertations. Youre an idiot. Welcome to SpursTalk, youll fit right in.

hehe, love your sense of humor and sarcasm. We'll have a lovely co-existance in here. ;)

Martin

[Sway]

I responded to Sway's original question with "Nevermind" because if you have to explain your jokes, your jokes weren't that funny to begin with. No, the question wasn't beneath me, and no, I wasn't trying to be a dick. So my 'nevermind' wasn't directed towards anyone, it was more of a admission of defeat from my side.
Apologies, I also misunderstood your “nevermind” response. I knew your original post was a joke and was not trying to be critical. I was however interested in the story behind what was “really” going on in the picture.



Damn there are some ignorant people....

Is it cool to mock other people's cultures?
No, it is not. He is probably just a HS kid…best to just ignore him.