Lame-ass "parents" name newborn "ESPN" [Archive]

CubanMustGo

10-08-2006, 09:55 AM

And even sadder, they're not the first to do something this stupid.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061007/ap_on_fe_st/espn_name

BILOXI, Miss. - Leann Real promised her husband, an avid sports fan, that if they ever had a son he'd get to pick the name. ESPN Montana Real was born this week at Biloxi Regional Medical Center.

Rusty Real, of D'Iberville, chose ESPN (pronounced Espen) after the sports network and Montana after football legend Joe Montana.

Baby ESPN isn't alone.

Three others were cited in a 2005 report on tivocommunity.com about the network's 25th anniversary. They are Espn Malachi McCall in Pampa, Texas; Espn Curiel in Corpus Christi, Texas; and Espn Blondeel in Michigan.

"We were the talk of the hospital," Rusty Real said. "The nurses kept asking my wife if she was really going to let her husband name him ESPN. She said, 'Oh, yes.'"

I guess it's too bad that the kid is going to be abused with names like that (Montana is more a girl's name if anything), but all the "parents" care about is that they were "the talk of the hospital."

Some people shouldn't be allowed to breed. :madrun

katyon6th

10-08-2006, 10:01 AM

It's just a name. I don't think them naming their baby something so ridiculous reflects on what type of parents they'll be or if it's fair to say they shouldn't be allowed to 'breed'.

MaNuMaNiAc

10-08-2006, 10:11 AM

It's just a name. I don't think them naming their baby something so ridiculous reflects on what type of parents they'll be or if it's fair to say they shouldn't be allowed to 'breed'.
are you serious? come on! ok, I'm not saying they shouldn't be allowed to breed like Cuban over there, but those are most certainly some DUMBASS parents. You think the kid isn't going to go through hell for having that name?? I used to know a guy that went through hell because of his name (no pun intended, you'll understand when you finish reading ). His DUMBASS parents were named Lucia and Fernando, so guess what they named him... wait for it... LUCIFER! Not only this, but to top it off they sent him to a catholic school. On top of the negative connotation of his name, kids used to call him Luci. Fucked up scenario. Luckily the guy has always had thicker skin than the average person, so he lived through it.

katyon6th

10-08-2006, 10:28 AM

are you serious? come on! ok, I'm not saying they shouldn't be allowed to breed like Cuban over there, but those are most certainly some DUMBASS parents. You think the kid isn't going to go through hell for having that name?? I used to know a guy that went through hell because of his name (no pun intended, you'll understand when you finish reading ). His DUMBASS parents were named Lucia and Fernando, so guess what they named him... wait for it... LUCIFER! Not only this, but to top it off they sent him to a catholic school. On top of the negative connotation of his name, kids used to call him Luci. Fucked up scenario. Luckily the guy has always had thicker skin than the average person, so he lived through it.

Yes, I'm serious. There's more significant issues that reflect upon parents than what they name their kids. And you're right, children named Espn or Lucifer or freaking Apple may certainly be teased growing up, but what does that say about the parents whose children are doing the teasing? Sure, kids are going to be kids, but it's a goddamn name, teach your children that.

Marklar MM

10-08-2006, 10:30 AM

Just be grateful your name isn't Gaylord Focker.

MaNuMaNiAc

10-08-2006, 10:31 AM

Yes, I'm serious. There's more significant issues that reflect upon parents than what they name their kids. And you're right, children named Espn or Lucifer or freaking Apple may certainly be teased growing up, but what does that say about the parents whose children are doing the teasing? Sure, kids are going to be kids, but it's a goddamn name, teach your children that.
you're telling me using your kid as an advertisement billboard doesn't constitute bad parenting?? you think that jackass was thinking of anything else when naming his kid other than seeking attention? The man may turn out to be a great father, but let me tell you, he started on the WRONG foot.

P.S. Only a matter of time 'till people start naming kids Burgerking Mathew 3rd because they love them burgers... http://spurstalk.com/forums/images/smilies/smirolleyes.gif

TARZAN

10-08-2006, 10:37 AM

My BOY turned out okay.

BurgerKing

10-08-2006, 10:38 AM

katyon6th

10-08-2006, 10:40 AM

you're telling me using your kid as an advertisement billboard doesn't constitute bad parenting?? you think that jackass was thinking of anything else when naming his kid other than seeking attention?

I think you're taking this a little too seriously.

Borosai

10-08-2006, 10:43 AM

I feel that getting too creative when naming your kids is borderline irresponsible. It's not like you're naming a pet or an art project. However, it's not the worst thing that can happen to him...if the boy gets tired of that stupid name, he can change it later on.

Now, with all that said, I love bananas...they are so tasty...so I am going to name my first child Banana Split. I am so creative. :clap :loser

katyon6th

10-08-2006, 10:44 AM

P.S. Only a matter of time 'till people start naming kids Burgerking Mathew 3rd because they love them burgers... http://spurstalk.com/forums/images/smilies/smirolleyes.gif

I wouldn't doubt there's a baby "Whopper" out there or whatever and honestly, I find that idiotic, but I'm not going to judge their parenting skills for being tacky baby namers.

Clandestino

10-08-2006, 10:54 AM

lucifer is too fucking funny...

espn is not bad since they pronounce is ESPEN... they dont actually call him E-S-P-N

MaNuMaNiAc

10-08-2006, 11:24 AM

I wouldn't doubt there's a baby "Whopper" out there or whatever and honestly, I find that idiotic, but I'm not going to judge their parenting skills for being tacky baby namers.well, there you go, that's where we differ. I think naming your kid ESPN without considering the consequences it might have on the life of your child is bad parenting.

Marklar MM

10-08-2006, 11:59 AM

Dick Hertz
Woody Pecker

ALVAREZ6

10-08-2006, 02:50 PM

That's just fucking retarded.

I'd kill my parents. ESPN sucks.

ATX Spur

10-08-2006, 02:57 PM

Sports-related first names are one thing. ESPN is just lame. They don't have any family names that are decent?

ALVAREZ6

10-08-2006, 02:58 PM

espn is not bad since they pronounce is ESPEN... they dont actually call him E-S-P-N
I was thinking the same, if they really named hime ESPN and made it pronounced Eee Ess Pee Enn, the kid would probably kill himself. Who the fuck wants 4 capital letters as a first fucking name???

Once you're done with the E.S.P.N. you still have the Montana Real to go. Poor kid. These parents really are dumbasses.

CubanMustGo

10-08-2006, 03:15 PM

So you pronounce it "Espen" but guess what? Nobody is going to know how to spell it, so the kid is going to spend his entire life answering the question "how do you spell that," and then dealing with the snickers, WTFs, "is that REALLY what your parents named you?" and guffaws that will inevitably follow.

Kids are mean little pricks when it comes to names. Seen it many, many times.

Opinionater

10-08-2006, 04:07 PM

IMHO, names have gotten more bizarre in current years and what is with changing the spelling for the same damn name? Trisha, Tritcia, Trysha, Trsha, etc....

Summers

10-08-2006, 04:54 PM

you're telling me using your kid as an advertisement billboard doesn't constitute bad parenting??

I probably shouldn't speak for Katy, but I think what she's trying to say is beating your child constitues bad parenting. Other examples of bad parenting might be starvation, locking a child in a closet, sexual abuse, and erasing any shred of self-confidence he or she might have otherwise had. Giving your kid a stupid name is more along the lines of poor judgement, like giving your kid lollipops for breakfast, letting them watch Pokemon cartoons, or home-schooling. (Just kidding about that last one... :lol ... sort of).

BeerIsGood!

10-08-2006, 05:07 PM

I probably shouldn't speak for Katy, but I think what she's trying to say is beating your child constitues bad parenting. Other examples of bad parenting might be starvation, locking a child in a closet, sexual abuse, and erasing any shred of self-confidence he or she might have otherwise had. Giving your kid a stupid name is more along the lines of poor judgement, like giving your kid lollipops for breakfast, letting them watch Pokemon cartoons, or home-schooling. (Just kidding about that last one... :lol ... sort of).

Doing the things you mention isn't bad parenting. It's criminal and possible assault or homicide depending on the outcome. Naming a boy ESPN is extremely irresponsible and will have a very strong negative impact on the kid's life. It is a very serious situation.

If you and Katy were males you would understand the hell that awaits this boy during his growing years. Most kids aren't able to put things in perspective like adults should, so the harrassment is going to be damaging. For males this sort of thing can get you assaulted in school.

Opinionater

10-08-2006, 05:13 PM

IMHO, if a child cannot overcome something as simple as their "name" then they are doomed from the start.

I've known guys named "Jan" and they weren't scarred for life.

BeerIsGood!

10-08-2006, 05:16 PM

People will live through it, but why put your kids through that? It's gonna be tough as it is growing up, so to screw your kid over like this from the start is stupid.

Good 'N Plenty

10-08-2006, 05:19 PM

George Foreman has the right idea.

angel_luv

10-08-2006, 06:05 PM

Giving your kid a stupid name is more along the lines of poor judgement, like giving your kid lollipops for breakfast, letting them watch Pokemon cartoons, or home-schooling. (Just kidding about that last one... :lol ... sort of).

I was home schooled from K- 12. So thanks for that last one. :lol

Zunni

10-08-2006, 06:07 PM

I'll take "People who should have been blown away by Katrina" for 100, Alex.

ALVAREZ6

10-08-2006, 06:57 PM

The more you think about it, those parents really are retarded. People have mentioned it already, but damn, that kid's gonna spend his whole life telling people how to spell his name, how to pronounce his name, and why his name is fucking ESPN.

And think about how that looks on a job application. Who the fuck wants to hire ESPN Montana Real? Sounds like an application that some dude made while he was fucked up.

ESPN joe Montana fo Real!

katyon6th

10-08-2006, 07:19 PM

I probably shouldn't speak for Katy, but I think what she's trying to say is beating your child constitues bad parenting.

Exactly, which I stated in my 2nd post in this thread.

Yes, I'm serious. There's more significant issues that reflect upon parents than what they name their kids.

Perhaps parents do name their children these ridiculous names because they want their children to be ridiculed and scarred for life. Maybe? Who fucking knows. I do know it's just a name.

Summers

10-08-2006, 08:27 PM

I was home schooled from K- 12. So thanks for that last one. :lol

Oops. :oops You know I love you, Angel! :)

desflood

10-08-2006, 08:38 PM

During my hospital stay after the birth of my baby girl, one of the nurses told me that FOUR TIMES IN THE LAST YEAR, different parents had given their kids the name "Abcde" (pronounced "ab-sid-ee"). Seriously, wtf? Are people really too dumb to name their own kids anymore?

smeagol

10-08-2006, 08:47 PM

I think it's borderline bad parenting.

Some people don't deserve the freedom they have.

E20

10-08-2006, 08:52 PM

You can always change the kids name if they really can't stand it.

katyon6th

10-08-2006, 08:55 PM

You can always change the kids name if they really can't stand it.

And if the parents don't give the kid what he/she wants, I say that's bad parenting. :lol

Johnny_Blaze_47

10-08-2006, 08:58 PM

http://www.inandout.at/images/product/cashjohnny_aboynamed.jpg

ShoogarBear

10-08-2006, 09:35 PM

George Foreman has the right idea.:lol

angel_luv

10-08-2006, 09:50 PM

Oops. :oops You know I love you, Angel! :)

Yes I do. Right back at you. :)

SpursWoman

10-09-2006, 06:31 AM

Kids are mean little pricks when it comes to names. Seen it many, many times.

Kids are mean little pricks, period. And so are a lot of adults. Why anyone would consciously name their child something so ridiculous that will cause them nothing but grief their entire life is totally beyond me. Maybe it will make them feel unique ... but I doubt it. That's just plain-assin' stupid.

SpursWoman

10-09-2006, 06:32 AM

ESPN joe Montana fo Real!

:lol

Mixability

10-09-2006, 10:58 AM

I was home schooled from K- 12. So thanks for that last one. :lol

That explains alot.

angel_luv

10-09-2006, 11:10 AM

That explains alot.

:)

Johnny_Blaze_47

10-09-2006, 11:51 AM

"If I ever have a kid, I'm going to name it 'Pizza Pussy Santa,' because everybody loves one of those things."

http://www.sincitysounds.com/spotlight/1-11-2003/daveattell5.jpg

MaNuMaNiAc

10-09-2006, 11:58 AM

"If I ever have a kid, I'm going to name it 'Pizza Pussy Santa,' because everybody loves one of those things."

http://www.sincitysounds.com/spotlight/1-11-2003/daveattell5.jpgthat guy is fucking annoying

Trainwreck2100

10-09-2006, 12:02 PM

"If I ever have a kid, I'm going to name it 'Pizza Pussy Santa,' because everybody loves one of those things."

Three words
Vegans, homos, Jews

Johnny_Blaze_47

10-09-2006, 12:12 PM

Three words
Vegans, homos, Jews

Vegans don't like Santa?

Homosexuals don't like pizza?

Jews don't like pussy? Now, see, I know that to be false. One of my closest friends is Jewish and during our last year of school (between shooting for The Star and finishing college), his whole pursuit was about getting laid.

Trainwreck2100

10-09-2006, 12:15 PM

Vegans don't like Santa?

Homosexuals don't like pizza?

Jews don't like pussy? Now, see, I know that to be false. One of my closest friends is Jewish and during our last year of school (between shooting for The Star and finishing college), his whole pursuit was about getting laid.

Any male that's a vegan is probably a homo, and he could be Jewish as well

katyon6th

10-09-2006, 12:17 PM

Just call me "boo boo kitty fuck".

Hilarious.

Johnny_Blaze_47

10-09-2006, 12:18 PM

Hilarious.

Not really, Boo Boo.

Johnny_Blaze_47

10-09-2006, 12:22 PM

Any male that's a vegan is probably a homo, and he could be Jewish as well

What about lesbian vegans? They like pussy.

Trainwreck2100

10-09-2006, 12:26 PM

Who said anything abouit lesbian?

A queer vegan jew would not like pizza pussy santa, that's all I'm saying

Johnny_Blaze_47

10-09-2006, 12:32 PM

Who said anything abouit lesbian?

A queer vegan jew would not like pizza pussy santa, that's all I'm saying

Fine. Find me a Jewish vegan homosexual and we'll ask him.

Trainwreck2100

10-09-2006, 12:33 PM

Fine. Find me a Jewish vegan homosexual and we'll ask him.

That's gonna be hard because there's a 4 week waiting list at the Homo Vegan Jew store.

Johnny_Blaze_47

10-09-2006, 12:51 PM

That's gonna be hard because there's a 4 week waiting list at the Homo Vegan Jew store.

Well, then, I guess we can just bide our time with some hookers and blow.

katyon6th

10-09-2006, 01:08 PM

Not really, Boo Boo.

What? Saying "boo boo kitty fuck" doesn't make you laugh all silly? Must be just me.

Johnny_Blaze_47

10-09-2006, 01:10 PM

What? Saying "boo boo kitty fuck" doesn't make you laugh all silly? Must be just me.

It's funny... just not "ha-ha" funny.

Kind of like Trainwreck's never-ending virginity.

No, wrong example... that's ha-ha funny.