Hook Dem
10-29-2004, 05:34 PM
KERRY BLAMES BUSH FOR MOON'S DISAPPEARANCE
October 28, 2004
BOSTON -- (Reuters) Presidential Candidate John Kerry today took his campaign on a new tack, blaming President Bush for the disappearance of earth's moon last night.
Earth's moon, traditionally called "the moon," went missing last night for several hours. "The moon, which hangs over Iraq, was clearly there after the president's misguided invasion. Then last night, it wasn't. President Bush failed to properly guard the moon. The moon wasn't even on his list of facilities important enough for even cursory protection."
Kerry continued the assault, "He put the watch of the Moon behind protecting the offices of the Iraqi Oil Ministry."
To the relief of many Kerry supporters, the moon returned to its place in the sky after a few hours of unexplained absence. "Can we be sure it's even the real moon? Perhaps it's a trick by Karl Rove!" Kerry questioned.
"What a relief!" exclaimed DNC Chairman Terry McAuliffe. "After Bush let the moon be taken in such an uncaring fault of leadership, to have it returned safely proves that Kerry can lead America past Bush's mistakes."
Kerry addressed tens of supporters in an Akron, Ohio rally later in the day, "The president is the wrong man if he cannot even keep the moon from being stolen. And the president refuses to accept responsibility for this theft. Instead he chooses to place blame on the alignment of the earth, moon, and sun! He's even coerced NASA into supporting him on his claim. Bush continues to lie to this country."
The supporters cheered and three of them waved in unison their signs bearing the prophetic numeral "6."
Added McAuliffe, "He knows that howling at the moon is a major part of our rallies for this campaign and if he and his advisors think they can derail us by stealing the focus of our worship, they have another think coming!"
The moon could not be reached for comment.
October 28, 2004
BOSTON -- (Reuters) Presidential Candidate John Kerry today took his campaign on a new tack, blaming President Bush for the disappearance of earth's moon last night.
Earth's moon, traditionally called "the moon," went missing last night for several hours. "The moon, which hangs over Iraq, was clearly there after the president's misguided invasion. Then last night, it wasn't. President Bush failed to properly guard the moon. The moon wasn't even on his list of facilities important enough for even cursory protection."
Kerry continued the assault, "He put the watch of the Moon behind protecting the offices of the Iraqi Oil Ministry."
To the relief of many Kerry supporters, the moon returned to its place in the sky after a few hours of unexplained absence. "Can we be sure it's even the real moon? Perhaps it's a trick by Karl Rove!" Kerry questioned.
"What a relief!" exclaimed DNC Chairman Terry McAuliffe. "After Bush let the moon be taken in such an uncaring fault of leadership, to have it returned safely proves that Kerry can lead America past Bush's mistakes."
Kerry addressed tens of supporters in an Akron, Ohio rally later in the day, "The president is the wrong man if he cannot even keep the moon from being stolen. And the president refuses to accept responsibility for this theft. Instead he chooses to place blame on the alignment of the earth, moon, and sun! He's even coerced NASA into supporting him on his claim. Bush continues to lie to this country."
The supporters cheered and three of them waved in unison their signs bearing the prophetic numeral "6."
Added McAuliffe, "He knows that howling at the moon is a major part of our rallies for this campaign and if he and his advisors think they can derail us by stealing the focus of our worship, they have another think coming!"
The moon could not be reached for comment.