What would you do?

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

So, here's the scenario. When I was in Okinawa I went out with the same girl for two years. We had a wonderful relationship - honest, trusting, fun - but we broke up when I moved back to Oz and she moved to San Francisco to study. That was about a year ago. Although the end was a little messy, we have remained in contact and are good friends.

I was going to stay with her for a few days in SF during my impending trip to the US, with no thoughts other than to have some fun with a friend and finally close off my feelings for her. I don't have strong feelings any more, but at the same time I never really got full closure either. I figured seeing her would enable me to finally say goodbye properly.

Today she told me that she has a new boyfriend, and that the three of us will have to hang out together. I don't have a problem with her boyfriend, that's up to her, but at the same time I'm not going there to hang out with her new guy. That just sounds like a recipe for disaster.

What would you do?

BTW, any of you live in SF or region?

[SequSpur]

Don't ever call her again?

[midgetonadonkey]

Threeway.

[ChumpDumper]

Have dinner with them one night but stay somewhere else. Seeing her happy with another dude will be all the closure you'll be able to stand.

[ShoogarBear]

I used to live on Okinawa.

Hope that helps.












(j/k, I agree with Chump.)

[ChumpDumper]

Oh, and if it's at all possible, have sex with someone else in California before you see them. Take her to the dinner with you.

Or him, whatever.

When in Rome.....

[SequSpur]

Have dinner with them one night but stay somewhere else. Seeing her happy with another dude will be all the closure you'll be able to stand.

gaylord forum.

[ATX Spur]

I agree with Chump, and definitely do not stay there. Sucks that hotel prices are ridiculous in SF.

[ShoogarBear]

The XYZ bar at the W Hotel had some smokin women the last time I was in SF.

[TDMVPDPOY]

3some man :D

wtf were you doin in okinawa anyway?? u sex any japanese chicks?

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

Chump's got some great advice there.

[LuvBones]

What is closure anyway? Why does everyone need closure..

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

I taught English in a senior HS in Oki. The only person I slept with over there was her (she's Okinawan), although I got plenty of offers... Japanese women love foreign guys, it's not an urban myth. Foreign guys tend to treat them like human beings, as opposed to many Japanese men who treat them like chattels.

I think I'll meet up with her alone for a meal on the 31st and that will be that. I'm tossing up whether to stay in SF for NYE or get out of town...

After that, I will hop in my 2006 Mustang and get the fvck out of dodge. I'm thinking the Napa Valley for a night, up to the Redwood National Park, then back along the coast down to Big Sur. I have 5 nights and I like to drive. ;)

As for the sex part, that would be great although I've never been a pick-up guy. I'm sure there are plenty of guys who might like to pick me up in SF, but I'm not gay, so that kills that... :lol

Shoogar - u military? Where did you live, and when? Is there really a bar called the XYZ, or were you inferring that SF is full of hot chicks? :lol

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

"Closure", wanky term that it is, just means being fully over someone emotionally.

I'm 99.99% of the way there with her, and I think seeing her one last time will probably make that 100%. We finished our relationship over long distance on the phone, so it's time to say goodbye in person.

If you hadn't already worked it out, and despite my demeanor in the political forum, I'm the sensitive type* when it comes to women, curse it all! :lol

















*ie. a sucker! What can you do? :wtf :lmao

[LuvBones]

That's cool.. I don't mean to pick on you. I was just honestly wondering if anyone ever really finds 'closure'.

[ShoogarBear]

I was an Army brat. My dad was stationed there in the late 60s (I was in first grade), and I have one sister who was born there.

Yes, there really is an XYZ bar in the W Hotel in SF, and it's pretty cool. Its right across the street from the Moscone Convention Center, so if you happen to be in that part of town at night, stop in.

[CuckingFunt]

That's cool.. I don't mean to pick on you. I was just honestly wondering if anyone ever really finds 'closure'.Closure = bumpin' uglies one last time.

[TheSanityAnnex]

Threeway.

Fag.

[TheSanityAnnex]

3some man :D

Fag.

[ChumpDumper]

I think I'll meet up with her alone for a mealDenial isn't pretty. Man up and meet the guy she's screwing now. Sounds harsh but it will really help in the long run.

Then go to Reno for New Year's Eve and really celebrate a new beginning.

[Fillmoe]

i am originally from the bay if that counts for anything

[Reichen Lehmkuhl]

i am originally from the bay if that counts for anything


Fag

[Jim Jones]

Fag

No Homo

[Mac Dre]

Im from VALLEY JOE!

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

...and in roll the trolls... :lmao


Denial isn't pretty. Man up and meet the guy she's screwing now. Sounds harsh but it will really help in the long run.

Then go to Reno for New Year's Eve and really celebrate a new beginning.

CD, I know what you are saying, but I'm not in denial. She's been going out with him for a couple of weeks. She hardly knows him, so why should I meet him? Also, they are in the honeymoon phase... eeeuck. I really don't need to see that.

I'll go and say hi, have a chat, say g'bye, and that's that. I've realised in thinking about this today that I'm not hung up on her any more. Hell, I'm single and about to go on the road for 6 weeks doing everything I love, and then back to uni for 4 years... things couldn't be much better!

Our lives have diverged, and it'll be nice to be able to say goodbye to her in person. But other than that, where's my interest in trying to involve myself in her life again? Time for us to tread our seperate paths for a while. We are friendsw to the core of our beings, and I'm sure we'll catch up one day, but right now we have little to offer each other but the past.

Anyone got suggestions about where to go in SF on NYE (what's the "going out" part of town called - not the tourist areas like Fisherman's Wharf, the real SF nightlife)??? If not, I think I'll
hit the XYZ! :lol

[Shelly]

My kids were born in SF. I lived there for 4 years.

I think you want to hang out in the Castro District :nerd





:lol

[Fillmoe]

:lol

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

In other words stay as far away from the Castro district as possible? :lol

I think I'll find a club on the net that plays the music I want to hear and just do that for NYE.

[baseline bum]

WWRD?

[ShoogarBear]

WWRD?Shouldn't that be WWPHD?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/8a/CrocDundee.jpg/180px-CrocDundee.jpg

[Shelly]

In other words stay as far away from the Castro district as possible? :lol



Actually, I'm sure it will be totally happening there, but you may have to dress like one of the Village People :cop

[MannyIsGod]

Closure = bumpin' uglies one last time.:lmao Thats what I was going to come in here post.

Matt's just pissed he can't hit it. Or can he? http://spurstalk.com/forums/images/smilies/smispin.gif

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

:lmao Thats what I was going to come in here post.

Matt's just pissed he can't hit it. Or can he? http://spurstalk.com/forums/images/smilies/smispin.gif

You may well be right. :depressed

Anyway, the update is that I've come to the conclusion, from a number of events over the past 15 months, that she's been subtly messing with my head ever since we broke up and I've been a patsy and allowed her to. I just sent her a letter wishing her well but stating that I have no interest in seeing her or continuing our friendship. It's time for me to move on for good.

Can you believe it - Sequ called it perfectly!? :depressed :lmao

As for the Castro district, I just did a little research... I'll have to decide which Village person I want to be! :lol

And instead of seeing my ex I'm going to hire a Mustang and drive up the coast to the California redwoods. Trees are better company than exs anyway. ;)

[ChumpDumper]

Pussy.

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

C'mon Chump, WTF? How exactly does it help me to start my holiday off with a bummer like meeting the one girl I ever loved in my life with her new boyfriend? Fuck that, I'd much rather go commune with the redwoods.

We've been apart well over a year now. I have no interest in being her toy any more. It's time for me to truly get over it and move on. That's what I've finally done and it feels great. I think I was fooling myself for a long time that we might get back together, but now I'm free of that. Not exactly sure how that makes me a "pussy".

[ChumpDumper]

You passed up the opportunity for the face-to-face kiss off.

A letter....Feh.

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

Yeah, I did, but who cares? That would be vengeful, and I feel no need for revenge. She hasn't done anything terrible to me, just a few head games. Good luck to her and move on is the play as I see it, so that's what I've done. I don't want to arrange myself to suit her as I've done in the past. This time it's on my terms.

She's been playing with my head ever since I broke up with her, and I was too nice to tell her to jump. Now I'm finally there and happy about it.

[ChumpDumper]

Let us know about the next letter you send her.

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

There will be no more, my friend.

I know what you're getting at, and even a month ago you would be right, but this is finally it. i can feel it in my bones.

My whole life is about to move into a new phase - the trip, then back to school - and it's time for the old baggage to be tossed.

Actually, this is a feeling I have been waiting for all this year.

I finally feel free.

Believe what you like.

[CuckingFunt]

And instead of seeing my ex I'm going to hire a Mustang and drive up the coast to the California redwoods. Trees are better company than exs anyway. ;)

One of the most beautiful parts of the country, as far as I'm concerned. You'll have a good time.

[ChumpDumper]

Would you please just have sex with someone else already?

Damn.

[Shelly]

As for the Castro district, I just did a little research... I'll have to decide which Village person I want to be! :lol

And instead of seeing my ex I'm going to hire a Mustang and drive up the coast to the California redwoods. Trees are better company than exs anyway. ;)

:lol The dude that dresses in the leather is always there!

That part of California is absolutlely gorgeous! You'll enjoy the trip.

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

Thanks guys, it'll be a good way to unwind into America and travel again.

Oh, and I've always wanted to drive a Mustang - unfortunately it's only the V6.

I've actually passed through the area before, but this time I plan to do a little hiking. Should be very relaxing.

Chump, maybe I can find an ewok to sleep with me? :lmao

[tlongII]

Dude, you blew it! You had an opportunity to MOOCH of your ex and you let it go! You have GO TO THINK THESE THINGS THROUGH! I would have been all over that. Her new bf is the one that would be having a melt-down, not you. All you need to do is go to Club DV8 and get some strange. San Francisco is my favorite city in the world!...............and no, I'm not gay nor do I have a peculiar affinity for livestock.

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

Club DV8, huh? There are animals involved. Sounds appalling, but interesting... :lol

[tlongII]

Club DV8, huh? There are animals involved. Sounds appalling, but interesting... :lol

No animals at Club DV8. It may not even exist any more, but it was fun back in the day.

[mcornelio]

:lol

[Mrs.Tlong]

and no, I'm not gay nor do I have a peculiar affinity for livestock.


no, you have a perfectly natural love affair with livestock! :makeout