If all the NBA teams got into a brawl...

[stevallica]

Which team would come out as the winner?

[Pistons < Spurs]

Stern.

[Mr.Bottomtooth]

Spurs. Duh!

[dallaskd]

portland, thats easy

[MrChug]

Tough vote, but I really think I'm voting for Denver. YES...that's the same team with bitch ass Carmelo Anthony on, but what if he had nowhere to run? He'd probably do fine. Then add in K-Mart and Reggie Evans and they look pretty formidable. I'm sure AI could protect hiself a tad. You know what else this made me realize? How many pussy-filled teams there are! :nerd

But all in all...GOOD THREAD! :clap

[Leetonidas]

Any team with Shaq

[Bob Lanier]

Miami, most likely. One extremely dirty player (Shaquille O'Neal) and four tough, physical players (Alonzo Mourning, Udonis Haslem, James Posey, and Gary Payton).

Also Jason Williams.

[RS189]

Shaq + Zo = Ass Kicking

[MrChug]

I have to bolster my argument for the Nuggz...and trust me I'm not a fan. If two complete rosters were put in one room to scrap till submission. I have to go roster-for-roster with the Nuggets. I mentioned Reggie Evans and K-Mart, but don't forget about JR Smith, Eduardo Najera, Nene, even Linas Kleiza are all rugged large men. Don't give me that shit about bony ass Loudmouth Payton and James Poser...my sister would slap the shit out of them. And uhhh...WE'VE SEEN ZO FIGHT! :lmao IF that's what you wanna call it!!?!?!?

[NuGGeTs-FaN]

^^^^

don't 4get Jamal Sampson, he is one tough mofo as well :smokin

Its gotta be the Thuggets :lol ......

[JMarkJohns]

Miami, most likely. One extremely dirty player (Shaquille O'Neal) and four tough, physical players (Alonzo Mourning, Udonis Haslem, James Posey, and Gary Payton).

Also Jason Williams.

Yeah... Miami.

You failed to mention Wayne Simien (6-8, 250) and Earl Barron (7-0, 245) who are each certainly big and strong enough to throw some foo's around...

[v2freak]

Spurs are too nice/classy to get into a fight, and they'd definitely lose now that they don't have an enforcer like Massenburg or Willis

[ShoogarBear]

Spurs might finish last in the league.

Miami? Maybe, but Shaq would probably be in street clothes and Zo would be too busy protecting his kidney.

[Bob Lanier]

I think the Lakers beat you (again). Who's going to fight on that team? Kobe "Chris Childs" Bryant? Luke Walton? Kwame "my own coach regularly calls me a pussy" Brown?

And then there's Toronto, whose superstar power forward weighs about 215 pounds - although he does have Rasho Nesterovic protecting his back.

[1Parker1]

Blazers
Knicks
Heat
Kings (just because they have Artest...)

[dave]

I think the Lakers beat you (again). Who's going to fight on that team? Kobe "Chris Childs" Bryant? Luke Walton? Kwame "my own coach regularly calls me a pussy" Brown?

And then there's Toronto, whose superstar power forward weighs about 215 pounds - although he does have Rasho Nesterovic protecting his back.

we got joey graham though
hes literally a tank

i remember when jason terry ran into his arm last year and was almost knocked out, lol

and then anthony parker had to go out of the game for a bit after running into his shoulder

[Amarelooms]

DJ Begna is a black belt....only reason he's on the Mavs lol

[stevallica]

Miami, most likely. One extremely dirty player (Shaquille O'Neal) and four tough, physical players (Alonzo Mourning, Udonis Haslem, James Posey, and Gary Payton).

Also Jason Williams.

yeah but wade is a little girl

[Leetonidas]

Now, if all NBA teams got into a brawl versus stationairy bikes, I think the Mavericks might take it with no prob.

[dave]

Now, if all NBA teams got into a brawl versus stationairy bikes, I think the Mavericks might take it with no prob.
no way, the bikes would definitely win

[Amarelooms]

Now, if all NBA teams got into a brawl versus stationairy bikes, I think the Mavericks might take it with no prob.

HAHA Spurs homer....guess you have never played any sports cause if you did you'd realize it's not a big deal...called emotion. So sad to try and make a big deal out of nothing...so sad indeed.

[dave]

HAHA Spurs homer....guess you have never played any sports cause if you did you'd realize it's not a big deal...called emotion. So sad to try and make a big deal out of nothing...so sad indeed.
its probably just a joke, at least thats what i thought of it

[dg7md]

yeah but wade is a little girl

Because he's too mature than to start fights.

[stevallica]

Because he's too mature than to start fights.

right...

detroit would be one of the top dogs too.

[Fillmoe]

artest will take care of all the fans

[Leetonidas]

HAHA Spurs homer....guess you have never played any sports cause if you did you'd realize it's not a big deal...called emotion. So sad to try and make a big deal out of nothing...so sad indeed.
God you're fucking retarded dude. It was a joke you stupid ass Mav/Suns homer. And for the love of God stop putting "indeed" at the end of your fucking sentences you stupid turd sandwich.

[dave]

its probably just a joke, at least thats what i thought of it


God you're fucking retarded dude. It was a joke you stupid ass Mav/Suns homer. And for the love of God stop putting "indeed" at the end of your fucking sentences you stupid turd sandwich.

see, i was right
i don't mind most of the spurs fans here even though i'm a mavs fan, cause they're usually good jokers

[Leetonidas]

Don't worry about it. Amarelooms is the lamest troll to ever log into this forum.

[dirk4mvp]

Dipshits, M'Benga has a black belt in Judo. Game over. Plus Damp and Diop to throw some heads too.

[RonMexico]

They don't call him "Nashty" for nothing... right? rofl

[Sacramental]

the kings would. we got artest, and he has connections.

[cornbread]

Dipshits, M'Benga has a black belt in Judo. Game over. Plus Damp and Diop to throw some heads too.

Plus Terry would be running around punching everybody in the nuts. Game over. Mavs win.

[dirk4mvp]

Plus Terry would be running around punching everybody in the nuts. Game over. Mavs win.


You damn right. And Ginobili wouldn't even get touched. He'd fall down without getting hit.

[cornbread]

You damn right. And Ginobili wouldn't even get touched. He'd fall down without getting hit.

Clever move by Ginobili. Save the nuts!

[jman3000]

nuggets.

[himat]

It's between the Nuggets, Pistons, Heat, Magic, and Blazers. I'd probably say Pistons last year, but since Ben left they'd probably lose out at the end.

[dirk4mvp]

It's between the Nuggets, Pistons, Heat, Magic, and Blazers. I'd probably say Pistons last year, but since Ben left they'd probably lose out at the end.


who the hell would Prince or Hamilton beat? And rasheed would just bitch when punches aren't going his way.

[dg7md]

nuggets.

[Texas_Ranger]

Indiana - because of S-Jax, he would kick everyone's ass.
- then here is O'Neal who could broke some bones.

Kings - because Artest is the beast.


I don't think Nuggets are in the top 5, beacause they are fightning like pussys.

[mffl89]

What about the Bulls? They have Ben Wallace, Luol Deng, and Michael Sweetney.

[MrChug]

Indiana - because of S-Jax, he would kick everyone's ass.
- then here is O'Neal who could broke some bones.

Kings - because Artest is the beast.


I don't think Nuggets are in the top 5, beacause they are fightning like pussys.

You're an idiot. You think in a 12 on 12 scrap, that one dude can turn the tide? You've never been in a 12 on 12 scrap b4. The best fighter can only take out maybe 2-3 and often gets blindsided in the process. It's just how gang scraps go...

[PaceMonster]

Shaq would destroy anyone in the NBA by just throwing himself at them, not to mention his arms are like tennis balls stacked on top of each other....Posey would slam a couple of people....Zo is a fuckin animal....Walker isnt too weak himself....Payton will distract with his big ass mouth....and Wade is one strong motherfucker....Udonis doesnt give a fuck who it is (look at the Jermaine O'Neal confrintation)...then you throw in the bench players like Simien, Barron and Doleac and thats pretty much a wrap. J-Will and D-Wright also might help.

[Mr.Bottomtooth]

God you're fucking retarded dude. It was a joke you stupid ass Mav/Suns homer. And for the love of God stop putting "indeed" at the end of your fucking sentences you stupid turd sandwich.
I prefer giant douche.

[Leetonidas]

Actually, the Spurs would win because Robert Horry would take a bite out of crime

[Texas_Ranger]

You're an idiot. You think in a 12 on 12 scrap, that one dude can turn the tide? You've never been in a 12 on 12 scrap b4. The best fighter can only take out maybe 2-3 and often gets blindsided in the process. It's just how gang scraps go...

I didn't mean just them. I was thinking on the whole teams.
And I'm not an idiot.

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

Two thoughts.

1. Couldn't you just go for the lower appendages against the Nuggets (knees, ankles, etc.)?

2. I'm shocked the Chris Childs troll has yet to post in this thread.

[Kamnik]

which teams (if anyone has a list of stats) are heaviest?

you should look for the winner in the top 5 or 10 teams ;)

[angel_luv]

:lol

Remember this?

http://www.spurstalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=51530&highlight=cold+toronto

Beno would feign an injury and then try to shank someone but would drop his shank into an opponent's hands. Pop calls a timeout and pulls Beno from the match. Oberto then takes blinding powder out from under his headband and throws it in someone's eyes. Horry takes advantage of the confusion and tosses his nemesis Tim Duncan out of the ring while Tim is not looking. While Duncan complains to the referee, Bruce Bowen takes advantage and proceeds to deliver his Flying-Leg-Kick-To-The-Face signature move to Barry, Bonner, Tony, and Elson, all in succession. THE CROWD GOES WILD!

Bowen, Butler, Finley, Oberto, and Manu are left in the ring. Manu goes crazy and starts to "pinball" off the ropes on all four sides of the ring and gains so much speed that he rockets himself out of the ring and into the 3rd row.
Bowen shadows finley so closely that Finley can't fight anyone and ends up elbowing Bruce in the temple, sending Bruce sprawling out of the ring. But as Bruce is falling, he grabs ahold of finleys jersey and takes him out, slapping him in the face as they fall.

The 2 heavyweights, Butler and Oberto, circle eachother. Butler starts doing some strange Sumo foot stomp and strips down to a stylized diaper, revealing massive rolls of fat, yelling "Yokozuna!" He charges at Oberto's ankles and Oberto jumps as high as he can over his adversary but only manages to clear Butler's out-stretched fingers before tripping and landing atop Butler.

As both men lie in the center of the ring, exhausted and motionless, a great primal, gypsy roar is heard from the tunnells in the AT&T center. The crowd looks and out from the bowels of the arena gallops the Slovenian Assasin. THE RETURN OF RASHO! Nesterovic picks up Butler with one hand and Oberto in the other and shouts, "Radoslav no like cold Toronto!" "Radoslav KILL!" and smashes together the two men who replaced him in the Spurs lineup. Bones and tissue splatter overyone in the fist ten rows. Children and women scream and fully grown men shield their eyes in horror.

After the match at the press conference a reporter asks Popovich if he'd known Rasho would show up.

Pop: "What a stupid question. We've never known when Rasho would show up. I guess the saying is true: It's always the quiet ones."

[Extra Stout]

Dude, Robert Horry beat down space aliens in multiple movies AND was the heavyweight champion of the world. Spurs, easily.

[MrChug]

Shaq would destroy anyone in the NBA by just throwing himself at them, not to mention his arms are like tennis balls stacked on top of each other....Posey would slam a couple of people....Zo is a fuckin animal....Walker isnt too weak himself....Payton will distract with his big ass mouth....and Wade is one strong motherfucker....Udonis doesnt give a fuck who it is (look at the Jermaine O'Neal confrintation)...then you throw in the bench players like Simien, Barron and Doleac and thats pretty much a wrap. J-Will and D-Wright also might help.

I'm assuming this is a joke, but whatever. I have to admit, Udonis might bust some heads, but everyone else outside of Shaq is a punk. Just because Zo has muscles don't mean $h!t. He can't fight. Youtube yourself a fight between himself and 5 inches shorter 40 pounds lighter Larry Johnson. Hell, neither of them could fight. You'll see 12 punches NONE landed. It was a really sad day for men everywhere. I never looked at him the same, no matter how hard he tried to act. :lmao

[Spurminator]

Brian Scalabrine will shiv your ass.

[Bob Lanier]

The one modern NBA player I'd be seriously afraid of in a brawl would be Adam Morrison, because he could actually shiv my ass.
http://www.co.weld.co.us/departments/health/happenings/images/insulin.jpg

[PaceMonster]

I'm assuming this is a joke, but whatever. I have to admit, Udonis might bust some heads, but everyone else outside of Shaq is a punk. Just because Zo has muscles don't mean $h!t. He can't fight. Youtube yourself a fight between himself and 5 inches shorter 40 pounds lighter Larry Johnson. Hell, neither of them could fight. You'll see 12 punches NONE landed. It was a really sad day for men everywhere. I never looked at him the same, no matter how hard he tried to act. :lmao

When you have a stupid ass coach holding on to your leg you think you might be a little handicapped? no...well put it this way do you think that in a 1 on 1 fight zo would lose to fucking LJ...w/e its your opinion, i think that on pussy fight doesnt judge a player's fighting skills....he is strong as hell and you hardly see anybody trying him as much....wade and posey are definitly not pussies, maybe payton and walker but not them....you be the judge

[Lp26]

who the hell would Prince or Hamilton beat? And rasheed would just bitch when punches aren't going his way.

Hey! Prince is from Compton! He's stronger than he looks. And Rip would fight dirty. He'd probably poke somebody in the eyes and then kick them in the nuts. Also we have Jason Maxiell who can probably handle 4 guys himself, and don't forget Dale Davis. They had to tazer him to stop him. :spin

In all seriousness though, I'd probably pick the Nuggets too. George Karl looks like he'd get involved.

[MrChug]

Brian Scalabrine will shiv your ass.

:lmao

[Amarelooms]

God you're fucking retarded dude. It was a joke you stupid ass Mav/Suns homer. And for the love of God stop putting "indeed" at the end of your fucking sentences you stupid turd sandwich.

Your jokes are lame and not funny. So sad Spurs homer...so sad INDEED!!! Now fuck off :ihit

[Leetonidas]

Your jokes are lame and not funny. So sad Spurs homer...so sad INDEED!!! Now fuck off :ihit
Perhaps you should kindly all do us a favor and take the Dirk bobblehead out of your ass and stick your keyboard in there and never post again. Such a fag Amarelooms, such a fag indeed. :ihit (and why the hell do you always post that emoticon? Is it because you want to butt fist Dirk?)

[ALVAREZ6]

The Spurs would get dismantled, that's for sure. All of the Spurs guards would get stomped on, Finley might be an exception. Duncan would get beat easily.

Miami would be really tough with Shaq, Zo, Posey, Wade, Haslem...I'd give them the edge.

The 05-06 Pistons would be tough too with Big Ben, Sheed, Chauncy (compared to other PG's, he's solid), Mo Evans, McDyess...not a bad brawling team.

[ALVAREZ6]

What about the Bulls? They have Ben Wallace, Luol Deng, and Michael Sweetney.
Don't forget Nocioni, I don't care if he's white, he's one tough SOB. I heard he does 300 pushups before every practice.

[Amarelooms]

Perhaps you should kindly all do us a favor and take the Dirk bobblehead out of your ass and stick your keyboard in there and never post again. Such a fag Amarelooms, such a fag indeed. :ihit (and why the hell do you always post that emoticon? Is it because you want to butt fist Dirk?)

Haha see you're so funny...good one....keep em coming man. Can wait till your next classic post. EssaySpur is so funny...so funny indeed :ihit

[P-O-Z]

yeah but wade is a little girl
and wut is dirk a little bitch

[P-O-Z]

u guys forgot da hawks

[dave]

phoenix could be tough
just give the irishman (burke) a drink, and he'll be unstoppable

[dallaskd]

and wut is dirk a little bitch

dirk isnt tough but he would destroy wade easily

[PaceMonster]

^nah Dirk's pretty soft...he might be softer than Sean Bradley who was 5 inches taller than Dirk and got bullied by guards

[Fillmoe]

melo will hit and run

[P-O-Z]

dirk isnt tough but he would destroy wade easily
dirks soft and a bitch miami has at leat 10 players that can kick his ass

[stevallica]

miami would be good but not the best. wade and that asian dude make them suck. spurs and mavs would get killed, but jet, howard and stack, pops, johnson, dampier, mbanga are bad ass but dirk, harris, george, buckner would lose it for us.

[stevallica]

dirks soft and a bitch miami has at leat 10 players that can kick his ass

too bad those 10 players cant win ya a ballgame

[dallaskd]

dirks soft and a bitch miami has at leat 10 players that can kick his ass

what happened too 15 strong?

[JamStone]

Nocioni would be a pretty dirty fighter.


But, I'll go with the Denver Nuggets as well. If Reggie Evans sack-grabs during just a regular action of a basketball game, imagine what he'd do in a fight. Oh, and if Julius Hodge counts, he fights dirty too. I don't even know if Hodge is still with that team.

[RonMexico]

Either way, Dirk will get owned

[dave]

any team with mengke bateer (that is, if hes still in the league) would win
hes a big strong mongolian mofo who actually managed to take down shaq

http://img153.imageshack.us/img153/8013/shaqonfloorct9.jpg

[ShoogarBear]

Damn, that's an awesome photo. :lol

[LEONARD]

it would be a unskilled arms-flailing cheap-shot fest...

NBA fights are lame...

[DarkReign]

it would be a unskilled arms-flailing cheap-shot fest...

NBA fights are lame...

After 3 pages, someone got it right.

NBA physicality = lame at best.

[CavsSuperFan]

The toughest people in the NBA are....
1-Shaquille....
2-Mrs. Christie...
3-Ron Artest...
4-Zak Randolf....

LMAO@ Bob Lanier....Phil Jackson calls the Lakers biggest player, “Kwame”, a big pussy.... :lol

[MrChug]

it would be a unskilled arms-flailing cheap-shot fest...

NBA fights are lame...

You can say that again bro. I think I've only seen a handful of sound attacks in the NBA. I only think of the brutal Ben Wallace/Ron Artest PUSH...hell that probably jarred his spine. The Anthony Peeler/KG elbow to the jaw. CHRIS CHILD's punch was clean but kinda lame. WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO KERMIT WASHINGTON?!!?!?! :lol

[Marklar MM]

I wonder how much damage Jason Maxiell can do with that monster frame and those long ass arms.