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View Full Version : ACLU Helps Man Who Wants To Take Wife's Name



Spurminator
01-18-2007, 02:41 PM
http://www.nbc5i.com/family/10760719/detail.html?taf=dfw

LOS ANGELES -- Mike Buday isn't married to his last name. In fact, he and his fianceé decided before they wed that he would take hers.

But Buday was stunned to learn that he couldn't simply become Mike Bijon when they married in 2005.

As in most other states, that would require some bureaucratic paperwork well beyond what a woman must go through to change her name when marrying.

Instead of completing the expensive, time-consuming process, Buday and his wife, Diana Bijon, enlisted the American Civil Liberties Union and filed a discrimination lawsuit against the state of California. They claim the difficulty faced by a husband seeking to change his name violates the equal protection clause of the 14th Amendment.

"Diana and I feel strongly about gender equality for both men and women," Buday said. "I think the most important thing in all of this is to bring it to a new level of awareness."

Mark Rosenbaum, legal director of the ACLU in Southern California, said it is the first federal lawsuit of its kind in the country. "It's the perfect marriage application for the 17th century," Rosenbaum said. "It belongs in the same trash can as dowries."

Only six states -- Georgia, Hawaii, Iowa, Massachusetts, New York and North Dakota -- have statutes establishing equal name-change processes for men and women when they marry. In California and other states, men cannot choose a different last name while filing a marriage license.

In California, a man who wants to take his wife's name must file a petition, pay more than $300, place a public notice for weeks in a local newspaper and then appear before a judge.

Because of Buday's case, a California state lawmaker has introduced a bill to put a space on the marriage license for either spouse to change names.

The Census Bureau does not keep figures on how many U.S. men are taking their brides' names. But clearly it happening more and more. Milwaukee County, Wis., Clerk Mark Ryan estimated that one in every 100 grooms there now takes the name of his wife.

Bijon, 28, approached Buday about the idea when they were dating. She had no brothers but wanted to prolong the family name. Buday, a 29-year-old developer of interactive advertising, was estranged from his own father and was not attached to his own last name.

"I knew immediately it was pretty important to her or else she wouldn't have brought it up," Buday said.

At one point, the couple tried the Department of Motor Vehicles to get a name change. But Buday said he was told by a woman behind the counter: "Men just don't do that type of thing."

Couples who want to hyphenate or combine their names also must endure the lengthy court procedures in California. One of the more notable examples was Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, who went to court to fuse his last name, Villar, with his wife's, Raigosa, when they married in 1987.

Laws giving women an easy choice of names were largely a byproduct of the feminist movement. A 2004 Harvard University study found that the number of college-educated women who kept their surnames upon marriage rose from about 3 percent in 1975 to nearly 20 percent in 2001.

johngateswhiteley
01-18-2007, 02:45 PM
1. he's a pussy

...case closed.

turambar85
01-18-2007, 04:20 PM
That it is more difficult for a man to take a woman's name is a mark of how much progress our society has left to make.

turambar85
01-18-2007, 04:24 PM
1. he's a pussy

...case closed.


I am assuming you are kidding, but if you aren't, you are an idiot. :lol

To be a pussy, at least as you mean it, implies that you do not have a backbone, or a spine. It means that the person is unable to stand up for his or herself, and lets people walk over them.

Now, lets compare.

A guy has a fiancee who wants to keep her name. He has two choices.

Choice A would be to refuse her this and demand that she take his name, or they call the wedding off.

Choice B would be to accept her request, and take her name. In doing this he risks the ridicule of every male, and some female, friends that he has. It is also likely that his father will see this as a slap in the face, and a removal of his birthright as a father, and it will cause inter-family problems as well.

Now, this guy also makes it a court case, facing infinitely more ridicule as well.

Which one is easier? Which takes less backbone?

greywheel
01-18-2007, 04:28 PM
Choice C - Everybody keeps their own name and Mike continues to be called "Buday Boy" by his buddies.

johngateswhiteley
01-18-2007, 04:33 PM
I am assuming you are kidding, but if you aren't, you are an idiot. :lol

To be a pussy, at least as you mean it, implies that you do not have a backbone, or a spine. It means that the person is unable to stand up for his or herself, and lets people walk over them.

Now, lets compare.

A guy has a fiancee who wants to keep her name. He has two choices.

Choice A would be to refuse her this and demand that she take his name, or they call the wedding off.

Choice B would be to accept her request, and take her name. In doing this he risks the ridicule of every male, and some female, friends that he has. It is also likely that his father will see this as a slap in the face, and a removal of his birthright as a father, and it will cause inter-family problems as well.

Now, this guy also makes it a court case, facing infinitely more ridicule as well.

Which one is easier? Which takes less backbone?

...i was and i agree with you. but, if choice A is what would have happened if he said no...thats weak. obviously, its his life...he can do whatever he wants.

turambar85
01-18-2007, 04:34 PM
Choice C - Everybody keeps their own name and Mike continues to be called "Buday Boy" by his buddies.


Sure, that is an option, but does not go any lenghts towards explaining why johngates claimed he is a "pussy".

Also, every-1 keeping their own name isn't a plausible option considering Kan't "Act so that you can will the maxim of you action to be universal law."

If they keep their last names, their kid will have 2 last names. Then the kid marries someone with 2 last names, but they each get to keep their own, so they either have 4 total, or they pick their favorite relative, a hard choice which will hurt feelings, and then have 2. The trend continues indefinetely.

johngateswhiteley
01-18-2007, 04:38 PM
Sure, that is an option, but does not go any lenghts towards explaining why johngates claimed he is a "pussy".

Also, every-1 keeping their own name isn't a plausible option considering Kan't "Act so that you can will the maxim of you action to be universal law."

If they keep their last names, their kid will have 2 last names. Then the kid marries someone with 2 last names, but they each get to keep their own, so they either have 4 total, or they pick their favorite relative, a hard choice which will hurt feelings, and then have 2. The trend continues indefinetely.

i answered your question. you're referring to Immanuel Kant, i presume?

turambar85
01-18-2007, 04:48 PM
i answered your question. you're referring to Immanuel Kant, i presume?

That you did, but I was referring to Grey in that message, and hadn't yet read your response.

And bingo, right Kant, right maxim.

johngateswhiteley
01-18-2007, 04:50 PM
I am assuming you are kidding, but if you aren't, you are an idiot. :lol

To be a pussy, at least as you mean it, implies that you do not have a backbone, or a spine. It means that the person is unable to stand up for his or herself, and lets people walk over them.

Now, lets compare.

A guy has a fiancee who wants to keep her name. He has two choices.

Choice A would be to refuse her this and demand that she take his name, or they call the wedding off.

Choice B would be to accept her request, and take her name. In doing this he risks the ridicule of every male, and some female, friends that he has. It is also likely that his father will see this as a slap in the face, and a removal of his birthright as a father, and it will cause inter-family problems as well.

Now, this guy also makes it a court case, facing infinitely more ridicule as well.

Which one is easier? Which takes less backbone?


just a thought:

1. what if the guy has no guy friends?
2. what if he has no friends?
3. what if he is only changing his name b/c she wants him to and not b/c he truly wants to?

...thats very possible. though the bottom line is, its his life, i could care less. but the situation is interesting.

johngateswhiteley
01-18-2007, 04:54 PM
Ayn Rand owns Immanuel Kant, btw. Kant was probably a pussy.

turambar85
01-18-2007, 05:11 PM
Ayn Rand owns Immanuel Kant, btw. Kant was probably a pussy.

Ugh, I hate Ayn Rand. lol. She is a bloody sophist and a disgrace to philosophy, her views aside.

johngateswhiteley
01-18-2007, 05:21 PM
Ugh, I hate Ayn Rand. lol. She is a bloody sophist and a disgrace to philosophy, her views aside.

...i am afraid we cannot be friends, then. i think she is genius. keep in mind, no philosophy is perfectly sound...you take what you like (from wherever) and fill in the gaps with something else.

edit: your dog is ugly. bloody sophist keeps giving me advice and telling me what to do.

Ed Helicopter Jones
01-18-2007, 05:30 PM
Why didn't I think of this???

And to think that my wife's maiden name was "Hugecock".






What a waste. :(

SpursWoman
01-18-2007, 05:41 PM
Ed Helicoptor Hugecock? http://www.boomspeed.com/sweetc/yscratchchin.gif

ShoogarBear
01-18-2007, 05:42 PM
Why didn't I think of this???

And to think that my wife's maiden name was "Hugecock".






What a waste. :(I actually knew somebody with a name of Hughes-Johnson.

Unfortunately, it was a woman. It was always difficult to say her name without smirking.

boutons_
01-18-2007, 06:11 PM
I know a guy family name Dill, he didnt like it, and she really didn't like her new name of Bunny Dill, :lol, when he married he began operating under his wife's family name, they divorced, he kept her family name. I don't know the legalities.

BFD. "A rose by any other name...."

resistanze
01-18-2007, 06:18 PM
In California, a man who wants to take his wife's name must file a petition, pay more than $300, place a public notice for weeks in a local newspaper and then appear before a judge.

lmao, What's the point of the newspaper ad? Is that supposed to imply "Look at me, I'm my wife's bitch," or something?

Clandestino
01-18-2007, 10:19 PM
the article failed to mention that his wife had bigger nuts than he did.

johngateswhiteley
01-18-2007, 10:26 PM
the article failed to mention that his wife had bigger nuts than he did.

:lol

Mixability
01-19-2007, 01:49 PM
lmao, What's the point of the newspaper ad? Is that supposed to imply "Look at me, I'm my wife's bitch," or something?

:lol