How to avoid jury duty?

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

I've already rescheduled the thing twice so I have to show up for it next Monday. Is there any sure fire way to make sure that I don't wind up on a jury short of saying that I'm a Klan member? What are your "go to" moves for avoiding having to serve?

[ashbeeigh]

Mine gets sent to San Antonio, but I don't live there during the school year so my excuse is I'm at school.

[mardigan]

Just show up and repeatedly say "Que?"

[Spurminator]

All you have to do is show any ability whatsoever to form an individual opinion. It's really very easy.

[SrA Husker]

I'm in the military, so I get paid while on Jury Duty and basically get excused absence. So of course, when I got my notice in October I wanted to serve. I got lucky and got on a trial that lasted 7 days (the Christmas 2004 Hwy 151 shootings) so got regular military pay + $40/day for Jury Duty. :)

[1Parker1]

Just show up and repeatedly say "Que?"

:lol Good one.

[1Parker1]

I just rescheduled mines as well. But I don't mind serving, generally they only take a day or two and most companies are good in that they'll pay you for it.

My only bitch is I hate having to drive down to Center City and pay f-ing $20 for parking.

[ZStomp]

Just say you believe in the Death Penalty for ALL crimes.

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

All you have to do is show any ability whatsoever to form an individual opinion. It's really very easy.

An old teacher of mine said they usually avoid history and government teachers like the plague. My hope is that telling them I'm pursuing a history degree with a minor in political science will be enough to scare them off.

Keep the advice coming!

[shelshor]

If you can't get out of it before you hve to go down to the courthouse, when the judge asks if you've formed any opionion about the case, stand up, point at the prosecuting attorney and say "Yes your honor, that man looks guilty as sin"

[CosmicCowboy]

don't register to vote

[1369]

Refreshing to see everyone ready and willing to do their civic duty.

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

Refreshing to see everyone ready and willing to do their civic duty.

You get 12 people that don't want to be there and bad things happen. You should see Henry Fonda's documentary "12 Angry Men". It follows a group of old movie stars who got put on a jury and how they nearly convicted an innocent guy of murder because they just wanted to get out of there. It teaches a powerful lesson.

[01Snake]

If you don't want to go, just don't show up. The summons is sent via US mail with no delivery confirmation. They cannot prove you ever received the summons.

[Vizzini]

http://www.zapin.info/imagenes/homer-simpson.jpg

"The key is to tell them you're predjudiced against all races."

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

Call in a threat.

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

If you don't want to go, just don't show up. The summons is sent via US mail with no delivery confirmation. They cannot prove you ever received the summons.

I'll keep that in mind for next time, but since I already rescheduled twice I think they know I got it.


http://www.zapin.info/imagenes/homer-simpson.jpg

"The key is to tell them you're predjudiced against all races."


We have a winner!

[ThomasGranger]

My grandmother used to tell them that only God has the right to judge other men. Worked every time, but she was a Bible beating Baptist who knew her scripture so I guess they figured she was being sincere.

[goliath]

Just tell them stuff like:

You cant consider the whole range of punishment...Either you will give probation no matter what for this type of case or jail time for the case no matter what.

You've already formed an opinion...if he is here having a trial he must have done something wrong

Cops are always trustworthy or are never trustworthy

You or someone you know has been a victim of the same type of crime as the one you are there for and as a result you cant be fair.

[thispego]

just say you hate cops and you feel like they are dishonest and cant be trusted

[bendmz]

don't register to vote


They stopped doing that shit about 5 years ago.... now they get you if you have a driver's license..... :(

[leemajors]

You get 12 people that don't want to be there and bad things happen. You should see Henry Fonda's documentary "12 Angry Men". It follows a group of old movie stars who got put on a jury and how they nearly convicted an innocent guy of murder because they just wanted to get out of there. It teaches a powerful lesson.

hahahaah. or you can watch the remake with tony danza!

[CubanMustGo]

God forbid you do your civic duty. Just what we need, more lazy slackers.

And I've served on a capital murder jury, so take your 'twelve angry men' bullshit and stuff it. Was it fun? Hell no. Was it a duty that needed to be taken seriously? Hell yes. And to think that you are learning your lessons from old movies ... maybe it's best that you don't serve.

I hope you never have the misfortune to find yourself in a courtroom situation wondering why your jury is made up of a bunch of what you no doubt would consider old fogies. It's because too many people think jury duty is just something to blow off and it's only the 'old fogies' who take it seriously.

[bendmz]

God forbid you do your civic duty. Just what we need, more lazy slackers.

And I've served on a capital murder jury, so take your 'twelve angry men' bullshit and stuff it. Was it fun? Hell no. Was it a duty that needed to be taken seriously? Hell yes. And to think that you are learning your lessons from old movies ... maybe it's best that you don't serve.

I hope you never have the misfortune to find yourself in a courtroom situation wondering why your jury is made up of a bunch of what you no doubt would consider old fogies. It's because too many people think jury duty is just something to blow off and it's only the 'old fogies' who take it seriously.


:clap :clap :clap

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

God forbid you do your civic duty. Just what we need, more lazy slackers.

And I've served on a capital murder jury, so take your 'twelve angry men' bullshit and stuff it. Was it fun? Hell no. Was it a duty that needed to be taken seriously? Hell yes. And to think that you are learning your lessons from old movies ... maybe it's best that you don't serve.

I hope you never have the misfortune to find yourself in a courtroom situation wondering why your jury is made up of a bunch of what you no doubt would consider old fogies. It's because too many people think jury duty is just something to blow off and it's only the 'old fogies' who take it seriously.

Sad to say it, but the blue text might have to become mandatory.

He called 12 Angry Men (one of my all-time favorite movies - the Fonda one) a "documentary."

[1369]

"Blue Text"?

And the whole "Documentary" leads me to think that missing jury duty might not be such a bad idea for the thread originator.

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

"Blue Text"?

For sarcasm.

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

"Blue Text"?

And the whole "Documentary" leads me to think that missing jury duty might not be such a bad idea for the thread originator.

It's SFIE...it's sarcasm-related as a response to the blowback.

[1369]

It's SFIE...it's sarcasm-related as a response to the blowback.

Duly noted. Time to send my sarcasm filter back to be calibrated.

Know any good shops?

[Mijo]

Just show up with a child. I saw a lady get dismissed when she brought (I presume her) child with her and told them she was the sole caretaker of the child. I on the other hand ended up sticking around for an ugly 2 week trial.

[thispego]

God forbid you do your civic duty. Just what we need, more lazy slackers.

And I've served on a capital murder jury, so take your 'twelve angry men' bullshit and stuff it. Was it fun? Hell no. Was it a duty that needed to be taken seriously? Hell yes. And to think that you are learning your lessons from old movies ... maybe it's best that you don't serve.

I hope you never have the misfortune to find yourself in a courtroom situation wondering why your jury is made up of a bunch of what you no doubt would consider old fogies. It's because too many people think jury duty is just something to blow off and it's only the 'old fogies' who take it seriously.
Why? I also have served on a capital murder jury and I will do everything in my power to not ever serve again. the whole process was disheartening and frustrating.... They dont even come close to justly compensating you. And jury members are generally looked down upon as dumb or impressionable.

[1Parker1]

You could tell them that your work life interferes with your ability to come to work. If your job doesn't compensate you for time off for example or if your an accountant and you can't miss month end closing (this is the excuse my sister the accountant always gives :lol), or if you're going to school you can just send them your roster I believe and you'll be excused.

[Spurminator]

I don't think you can use work as an excuse.

[ShoogarBear]

Bring your blow-up doll to court with you.

[SoCalSpursFan]

Simple: "I have a friend who said he knows you, but I think he lost his case." It doesn't matter who you know, if you know anyone related to the case...you are out.

[ObiwanGinobili]

the fact that I'm the primary care giver to 2 toddlers and that I'm breastfeeding usually gets me off.
Not sure how that'll work for you.

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

the fact that I'm the primary care giver to 2 toddlers and that I'm breastfeeding usually gets me off.
Not sure how that'll work for you.

He might make the papers if he tried that.

[ShoogarBear]

the fact that I'm the primary care giver to 2 toddlers and that I'm breastfeeding usually gets me off.
Not sure how that'll work for you.You realize what a GIGANTIC straight line this is?

[Spurminator]

:lmao

[ZStomp]

Statutory Exemptions
(Ch. 480, Sec 62.106 Government Code)

A person qualified to server as a petit juror may establish an exemption from jury service if that person:

* is over 70 years of age ;
* has legal custody of a child or children younger than 10 years of age and serving on the jury requires leaving the child or children without adequate supervision ;
* is a student of a public or private secondary school (must provide proof) ;
* is a person enrolled and in actual attendance at an institution of higher education (must provide proof) ;
* is an officer or an employee of the senate, the house of representatives, or any department in the legislative branch of the state government (statement must be notarized); or
* is the primary caretaker of a person who is an invalid, unable to care for himself (not employed outside of the home).

[1369]

the fact that I'm the primary care giver to 2 toddlers and that I'm breastfeeding usually gets me off.

That being the case, did you REALLY need to spend $200+ on that bouncy marital aid thingy?

/Couldn't resist
//Business Class, window seat please, will there be smoking on the flight?

[ORION]

breastfeeding usually gets me off.
Not sure how that'll work for you.

no comment :wakeup

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

In honor of ORION coming into the thread, a new idea for getting out of jury duty:

Whip out your cock and start jerking off.

[Extra Stout]

When they see my occupation is "engineer," I am quickly dismissed.

[leemajors]

Sad to say it, but the blue text might have to become mandatory.

He called 12 Angry Men (one of my all-time favorite movies - the Fonda one) a "documentary."

i figured he was fishing and didn't mention it!

[ORION]

In honor of ORION coming into the thread, a new idea for getting out of jury duty:

Whip out your cock and start jerking off.
left or right handed? come on he needs to be taken serious so I'd go with the right hand.

[FromWayDowntown]

When they see my occupation is "engineer," I am quickly dismissed.

I get the same response when they see my occupation is "attorney."

When I was in law school, however, my Torts professor was selected to sit on a jury in a personal injury case because the plaintiff's lawyer and the defense lawyer (both former students of that professor) each thought the other would strike him. Neither did and he ended up being the foreman that all lawyers would dread.

[Melmart1]

When they see my occupation is "engineer," I am quickly dismissed.
Why? They scared of someone smarter than them or are they just scared that you have no social skills?

[ObiwanGinobili]

You realize what a GIGANTIC straight line this is?

yes.
and I'm pleasently surprised at how well you've restrained yourself. :)

[ObiwanGinobili]

That being the case, did you REALLY need to spend $200+ on that bouncy marital aid thingy?

/Couldn't resist
//Business Class, window seat please, will there be smoking on the flight?


oh if anything I really need the stress relief

/don't be jealous.

[2Blonde]

You could just pretend you're me because they won't pick me no matter what. I'm cursed. It took 6 1/2 years just to get summoned and then I spent all day there before they called me before a jury. They asked a million questions and kept practically everyone except me. It was a case where a teacher was on trial for striking a student and they even kept all the current and past educators. Go figure !?! :depressed

[Aggie Hoopsfan]

breastfeeding usually gets me off.
Not sure how that'll work for you.


:hungry:

[midgetonadonkey]

Just say you are a heroin addict and you can stay in one place for more than 3 hours at a time.

[RashoFan]

I could suggest that you put "Paramedic" as your profession but...
#1 That does not guarantee that you will NOT get picked and
#2 I think you be get into BIG trouble impersonating a "public servant"

[Guru of Nothing]

Cross-dressing, badly

Flatulence

Spandex and Viagra

Simply show up with a book in your hand - the Bible, the Koran, I Ching, etc.

.... or a magazine - Hustler, High Times, Soldier of Fortune, etc.

Pick your nose incessantly, and view the results intently, while interviewing

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

BUMP.

Just to follow up, I didn't get picked for a jury and I didn't even have to do anything dishonest, although I wish I could say the same for the rest of the jury pool. The prosecution and defense asked us basically the same set of questions, only during the second set of questions (when people were realizing that it was their last chance to say something that might get them out of it) new answers started coming out of the woodwork. When the proscecution asked if anyone or a close relative or friend had been a victim of the crime in question there were three people who spoke up and then seven or eight the second time. Same deal when asked if there were work or health issues that should be taken into consideration. Sick mothers and major end of the month deals appeared out of nowhere the second time the question was asked.

In the end the jury was actually a pretty good mix of ages and races who didn't gripe that they were picked, so I guess there's hope for the system after all.

[Fillmoe]

tell em your muslim and you hate crackers