Holiday story time.

[Shelly]

5 WORDS ONLY

As the Holiday Season nears

[mouse]

Many will be drinking beers......

[SpursWoman]

Swerving down 1604, dodging deer

[timvp]

they saw Tonto chucking a spear...

[MsMcGillyCutty]

With a grin from ear to ear

[Shelly]

and celebrating the holiday cheer.

[timvp]

They pulled over to get ...

[MsMcGillyCutty]

Knowing the pawn shop is near.

[mouse]

Just then the phone rang.......

[timvp]

It was SpursWoman saying that ...

[mouse]

She won off E bay a................

[timvp]

piece of toast with a .......

[Shelly]

picture of a certain person

[SpursWoman]

covered in grape jelly

[mouse]

Just then a loud noise.........

[Jimcs50]

came from TPark's pants

[mouse]

It made a hole in the......

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

big, yellow buttered popcorn tub

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

which he bought at the

[SpursWoman]

www.harrypotteraccessories.com website.

[timvp]

All of a sudden, Steve Francis ...

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

got pissed at Hedo because

[mouse]

He was wearing SpursWomans red..............

[Shelly]

shirt that said, I'm with

[SpursWoman]

that awesome Dooney & Bourke purse.

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

TPark who started bitching about

[Useruser666]

how no one can rhyme!

[Shelly]

The next day, it was

[1369]

rainy with a chance of

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

TV stations breaking in for

[Shelly]

a special deal on NO-DOZE

[1369]

Shelly had just finished purchasing

[SpursWoman]

to give as Christmas gifts

[1369]

at her all night rave

[Shelly]

or for late night conversations.

[1369]

Suddenly, a large and angry

[TNT21]

hot dog with ketchup & mustard

[Jimcs50]

came out of TPark's ass

[1369]

the crowd gasped, and then

[bigzak25]

swhoosh....it dissappeared

[1369]

SW yelled, "Where's my damn..."

[SpursWoman]

roll of paper towels, I

[Jimcs50]

left it right here

[TNT21]

on the hood of this

[1369]

Datsun B210 that was my

[Drachen]

Electric Bugaloo's, and it's apparent

[2Blonde]

when enlarged, it looks older !!

[1369]

"I resemble that remark", said

[Jimcs50]

Jimcs50's penis, which was

[1369]

Quite odd, considering it resembled

[Jimcs50]

a Polish sausage on a stick

[1369]

that Gerber produces for infants

[2Blonde]

kind of shriveled and waxy...

[Shelly]

and also duff and tpark!

[exstatic]

Duff then said to Shelly...

[1369]

"Hey, you look a lot..."

[Jimcs50]

sexier in person

[2Blonde]

than the picture Duff drew

[1369]

with his Crayola crayons

[SpursWoman]

while pulling of his pull-up

[1369]

To have his mommy clean...

[Shelly]

up his mess and his

[1369]

Mother then said to Duff,

[Jimcs50]

filthy mouth with Palmolive soap

[Jimcs50]

don't blame me when you go blind

[bigzak25]

:lol

and he said, "but mom, you don't..."

[Shelly]

let 5 year olds watch

[1369]

boys kissing boys on TV

[Shelly]

"You should" said Duff, "Because

[1369]

John, Paul, George and Ringo

[Jimcs50]

all kiss each other regularly

[1369]

To which 2Blonde said loudly

[Jimcs50]

that explains Duff's confussion on

[Useruser666]

please end this damn thread!!!!! :lol

EDIT: DAMNIT JIM!!

[SpursWoman]

that explains Duff's confussion on



The difference between male and

[1369]

why his Ken doll doesn't...

[2Blonde]

seem interested in his Barbie

[exstatic]

Barbie has all the shit!

[T Park]

real fuckin funny.

Fuck you guys.

[Jimcs50]

Well Tpark it got you in here, didn't it?

:)

[Shelly]

Tpark got really, really angry

[Jimcs50]

because he could not see his

[tlongII]

package.

[Jimcs50]

because his stomach was

[2Blonde]

so much larger than his ....

[bigzak25]

jersey, which was torn on the

[exstatic]

back, where the name is

[Drachen]

misspelled as Tope which is

[exstatic]

one letter away from Dope

[mouse]

Just then A bright light......

[exstatic]

lit Mouse's bong bowl, causing...

[Jimcs50]

him to see what was

[1369]

stalking up towards his arm

[SpursWoman]

It was a big, hairy

[1369]

dust bunny that growling loudly

[bigzak25]

continued up his shoulder and said......

[Useruser666]

can't count to five either?

[SpursWoman]

And mouse replied: Don't you

[1369]

have $20 for my used

[bigzak25]

computer, which comes with a free...

[tlongII]

ham sandwich and

[1369]

a Randy Moss rookie card

[SpursWoman]

that you can sell on

[1369]

the internet for an easy

[SpursWoman]

$50 and a grilled cheese

[Jimcs50]

will get you a date with

[1369]

most any "older" woman around

[tlongII]

which caused Shelley to

[1369]

purse her lips and whisper

[bigzak25]

ooh mouse, i want you to put your...

[tlongII]

computer web-cam over here

[1369]

so we can record our

[bigzak25]

discovery channel sexcapades, but first

[1369]

hold my cranberry/vodka and watch

[bigzak25]

as I demonstrate the dirtiest

[2Blonde]

episode of "COPS" where Mouse

[Useruser666]

says, "Ain't my weed officer!"

[bigzak25]

that weed belongs to shelly, that's why

[Useruser666]

"It's medicinal!", says Shelly.

[1369]

Just then Shelly takes her 7-inch, fire engine red, top strap high heel off her left foot and whacks the shit out of Bigzak25 on his left ear.

"Read the first page you dolt, do you not fucking understand english? Do I need to draw you a fucking picture? What part of FIVE WORDS ONLY does not make sense to you?"

Zak, somewhat stunned, muttered unintelligibly, and a tear formed in the corner of his right eye.

Shelly, somewhat moved by the emotion exhibited, leaned over to Zak and whispered, "That's OK hon, but while you're down there in the floor, kiss my toe slave!"

Sorry for the departure from the rules Shel, it just had to be done...

[mouse]

Then a smoke cloud appeared..............

[1369]

And Barbara Eden dressed in

[mouse]

Duffs old G string he......

[Shelly]

Intermission of the story to say,

:rollin @ 1369

carry on...

[bigzak25]

got from


(that better fucker?) :lol

[Lee Harvey Oswald]

E bay it used to be............

[bigzak25]

white, but that changed when

[1369]

reds and whites were mixed

[tlongII]

worn occasionally by Yoko Ono...

[bigzak25]

who, of course, caused the

[Shelly]

UU666 to yell very loudly

[Jimcs50]

Duff is my lover, so