Bill Simmons Draft Diary-Funniest sportswriter ever.

[wildbill2u]

Bill Simmons is a great sportswriter. Here's his Draft Diary blog.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/070629&lpos=spotlight&lid=tab1pos1

I litterally spit up a spoonful of cereal bursting into laughter at one point.
Heres a sample:
5:39: Our long national nightmare is over: The Hawks finally drafted a quality point guard (Acie Law IV). It's like Billy Knight just pooped in our fridge and ate a whole wheel of cheese, isn't it? Mark Jackson celebrates the occasion by making a midget joke.

[T Park]

I was just about to post this

:lol

Simmons is hilarious. I said in the draft chat I couldn't wait to see the draft diary after learning of the Ray Allen trade.

[MaNuMaNiAc]

5:08: Yi's interpreter-less interview with Stu Scott wins the ESPY for "Best impersonation of Andre the Giant by a Chinese guy" and "Biggest lock to be turned into a YouTube clip by at least 500 different people." Although you have to admire him for doing it. I'm starting to come around on Yi -- the thought of him shoveling out his car in minus-10 degree weather in January while fighting back tears and screaming, "Why????? Why?????" in Chinese is delightful for some reason. Too bad they'll trade him. If the Chinese government can torture Jack Bauer for two years, it can definitely break the Bucks.
5:12: Just had the following exchange with my buddy House:

House: "I'm driving home from softball, did your team make a trade?"
Me: "Yeah, we traded the fifth pick, Wally and Delonte for Ray Allen."
House: "Noooooooo!" (Raucous laughter.)


:lmao

[cherylsteele]

The Notorious S.A.S. :lol

[jag]

|Stephen A. Smith on Portland taking Oden: "They better pick him -- THAT'S THE SENSIBLE THING TO DO." We're nearing the phase of his career when Smith might need to change his gimmick, kind of like when Puffy changed to P. Diddy. I think "Stevie A." or "The Notorious S.A.S." could buy him another two years. That's the sensible thing to do.|

Absolutely great :lmao

[unnosy]

has he done his annual most valuable players to their teams or something? i guess tim came first when we won in 2005

[SpursFanFirst]

Too many good parts to pick out...very funny read!

[OldDirtMcGirt]

I wouldn't consider Simmons to be a great sportswriter. His stuff is funny for sure, but as for the actual content, it's pretty lacking.

[mowgli]

Yeah, Simmons is alright. Lots of biased writing, excused by the occasional stroke of brilliant insight.

[FromWayDowntown]

Simmons is a devout fan with a pretty good comedic style and a willingness to go out on a limb with an opinion.

He's sometimes brilliant, but he also sometimes crashes and burns, like this epic take from his 2002 Draft Diary (http://proxy.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/020627):


Years from now, we will remember "Yao Ming over Jay Williams" the same way we remember "Bowie over Jordan," "Traylor for Nowitzki," "Carroll for McHale and Parish," "Aguirre over Thomas" and every other great draft day blunder in NBA history. I'm not just predicting it, I'm guaranteeing it.

Think about it. At best, Ming develops into a bigger, more athletic Rik Smits. Fine. But then you throw in Yao's adjustment problems (going from China to the United States -- yikes), his laid-back demeanor (what happens when NBA players start pushing him around, elbowing him and intimidating him?), his inability to play in the low post, and the way he'll struggle fitting in with his teammates, as well as lofty expectations, inevitable problems adjusting to a higher level of competition, the fact that NBA players will go out of their way to dunk on him (just like they did with Shawn Bradley -- and they ruined his confidence, too), the isolation of playing here, the meddling Chinese government ... I mean, did Smits have to deal with any of those things?

Can't you picture Shaq rubbing his hands together and saying, "I'm going to dunk on that Chinese guy as much as humanly possible next season"? This is a disaster waiting to happen. Repeat: This is a disaster waiting to happen. I feel very strongly about this. Just wanted to get that heard before the jury.

At least he owned it the next year, admitting that he had been completely wrong about Yao:


I'm the same guy who wrote, "Years from now, we will remember 'Yao Ming over Jay Williams' the same way we remember 'Bowie over Jordan,' 'Traylor for Nowitzki,' 'Carroll for McHale and Parish,' 'Aguirre over Thomas' and every other great draft day blunder in NBA history. The lesson, as always: I'm an idiot.

[jag]

Simmons is a devout fan with a pretty good comedic style and a willingness to go out on a limb with an opinion.

He's sometimes brilliant, but he also sometimes crashes and burns, like this epic take from his 2002 Draft Diary (http://proxy.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/020627):



At least he owned it the next year, admitting that he had been completely wrong about Yao:

Anyone who is willing to go out on a limb is going to fail every once in awhile. I've seen buck harvey eat crow a few times, it's bound to happen. Overall he's got some pretty good takes because he doesnt really care what's popular.

[wildbill2u]

He wrote an article on General Managers last year that skewered Isaiah and McHale so bad I'm still chuckling over it.

[FromWayDowntown]

I'm a big fan of his invention of the Reggie Cleveland All-Stars. I'm not sure why that always makes me laugh, but it does.

[spurscenter]

thanks

[K-State Spur]

He's a good writer, and pretty funny, but he remembers the 80s as being WAYYYYYY better basketball than it actually was. His level of nostalgia for that era borders on ignorance.

[MisterWhodat]

Well, you have to take into account that he watched most of those 80's games live in Boston, so the level of play he saw, meaning Bird, was not sub-par or really even average. He saw some damn good basketball. Just taking his side there for a bit...Simmons is always good for a laugh, even if he is a bit of a homer. But aren't we all.

[K-State Spur]

I understand this, but he has said more than once that there were more great series back then, the overall quality of play was higher (despite no foreigners), etc...

The only real difference between then and now is that the two dominant teams of the era were located on different coasts, so they were usually assured of not meeting until the finals.

(You can also make an argument about the amount of contact allowed in today's game compared to them, but that has more to do with how the game looks, not the quality of players or teams).