Yonivore
07-06-2007, 02:48 PM
:lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao
iPhone Review (http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/johncheese/iphone.htm)
Every time I watch one of those ads with the guy from Die Hard 4 telling me how easy and user-friendly his computers are to use, I thank God that he granted me the gift of intelligence so that I don't need to use Apple products to keep up in life. That's not to say that I'd describe myself as a "PC guy", either. It's just that Apple seems to market its products exclusively to people with a much lower than average IQ, and I wouldn't feel any pride in bragging to people that I prefer Mac. It feels like it would be admitting defeat. "I don't know what a hard drive is or how files work or how to double-click things, and the last time I got an error message I poured bleach into my CPU, and that's why I use a Mac!" I feel as though I'd be like the chubby, quiet kid with the Neanderthal brow in elementary school who got held back a grade for repeatedly cutting himself with the grown-up scissors, so now he has to use the big purple plastic safety scissors. And then Justin Long saunters in with his smart-casual attire and mild I-swear-I-won't-fuck-your-daughter expression, and announces smugly that that kid is the coolest kid in the class because he uses iShears.
***
I'm all for the advancement of technology, but come on. The problem is that when you start packing hi-tech equipment into these tard-magnets, hard drives and stereo-quality speakers and more pixels-per-inch than actual reality has, then you create something much more fragile than is even practical. I've owned four MP3 players in four years – the first was in my pocket when I bumped it against a wall and it stopped working. The second, I dropped. The third was ultimately stolen, but by that time, the volume controls didn't work because I sneezed while listening to it, and the buttons flew off. These are just portable audio machines that don't have video cameras and modems installed, and already they flirt with the boundaries of practicality. And now we have this thing that purports to be able to do pretty much everything short of giving you a blowjob. What's going to happen when we drop that?
Too freakin' funny!!!
iPhone Review (http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/johncheese/iphone.htm)
Every time I watch one of those ads with the guy from Die Hard 4 telling me how easy and user-friendly his computers are to use, I thank God that he granted me the gift of intelligence so that I don't need to use Apple products to keep up in life. That's not to say that I'd describe myself as a "PC guy", either. It's just that Apple seems to market its products exclusively to people with a much lower than average IQ, and I wouldn't feel any pride in bragging to people that I prefer Mac. It feels like it would be admitting defeat. "I don't know what a hard drive is or how files work or how to double-click things, and the last time I got an error message I poured bleach into my CPU, and that's why I use a Mac!" I feel as though I'd be like the chubby, quiet kid with the Neanderthal brow in elementary school who got held back a grade for repeatedly cutting himself with the grown-up scissors, so now he has to use the big purple plastic safety scissors. And then Justin Long saunters in with his smart-casual attire and mild I-swear-I-won't-fuck-your-daughter expression, and announces smugly that that kid is the coolest kid in the class because he uses iShears.
***
I'm all for the advancement of technology, but come on. The problem is that when you start packing hi-tech equipment into these tard-magnets, hard drives and stereo-quality speakers and more pixels-per-inch than actual reality has, then you create something much more fragile than is even practical. I've owned four MP3 players in four years – the first was in my pocket when I bumped it against a wall and it stopped working. The second, I dropped. The third was ultimately stolen, but by that time, the volume controls didn't work because I sneezed while listening to it, and the buttons flew off. These are just portable audio machines that don't have video cameras and modems installed, and already they flirt with the boundaries of practicality. And now we have this thing that purports to be able to do pretty much everything short of giving you a blowjob. What's going to happen when we drop that?
Too freakin' funny!!!