spurscenter
07-19-2007, 10:39 PM
When the Sonics hired P.J. Carlesimo to be their coach, local newspapers ran all kinds of biographical information on him.
On and on it went, understandably, because the man has coached for years, but nothing caught my attention until I noticed the stuff about his personal life.
A lot of 58-year-olds have two kids, but most are in their 20s or 30s, out of school and starting their own families.
Carlesimo's kids are 4 and 2. Kyle's not even in kindergarten yet, and Casey's in diapers.
As a 50-year-old father of 3-year-old twins, I wondered how he copes, and if he, too, sometimes wants to shoot himself.
I also wondered if he gets mistaken for being the grandpa instead of the dad, and sure enough, he does. His story has an extra kicker.
At a Starbucks in San Francisco, Carlesimo was mistaken for being the grandpa, and worse than that, the guy behind the counter thought his wife was his daughter. Ouch.
It's possible -- Carlesimo's wife, Carolyn, is 39. The coach said she's 18 years younger than him, rounding up ages, but she won't turn 40 until October. She's the same age as his youngest brother, and he gets grief for that, too.
"Luckily, P.J. has the greatest self-confidence and self-esteem of anyone I've ever known," Carolyn said. "It doesn't faze him. But it is kind of funny."
Said Carlesimo: "It's just more abuse, which I'm used to taking."
He always wanted children. Carlesimo's parents each had nine siblings, and he was the oldest of 10 kids in his family. But Carlesimo never had a serious girlfriend until he met Carolyn when he was 49.
Until then, "a long-term relationship for me was dating for a long time with zero regularity," Carlesimo said.
Ask him if ever had a fiancée before Carolyn, and he'll say: "Far from it."
But he knew right away when he met Carolyn, a sports psychologist who worked at the Olympic Club in San Francisco, where Carlesimo was a member while coaching at Golden State.
"I was starting to wonder if it would ever happen," Carlesimo said. "It's hard to get married if you haven't met the person you want to marry."
He proposed on New Year's Eve of 2000 in his apartment, saying: "I don't even know why the hell I picked the millennium to be honest with you." They were married the following July when Carlesimo was 51.
Was he sure he wanted to have kids at his age? "Absolutely," he said. "It wasn't like we've got to get married so we can have kids right away, but it was something we talked about."
Carolyn said her husband's a natural dad. His father was a football coach and athletic director, and the kids all pitched in to help out their mom. Carlesimo grew up in Scranton, Pa., changing diapers and baby-sitting, an older brother doubling as father figure.
Their roles are different from most moms and dads -- Carolyn's the carefree one, and Carlesimo's the overprotective worrywart.
"The thing about P.J., people who don't know him only see him as a coach and think he's tough," Carolyn said. "But he's the most soft-hearted, sensitive, sweet guy in the world.
"He's happy holding babies. It's weird to find a guy who is happy as can be changing diapers and getting up at night."
When Kyle was born July 30, 2002, in San Francisco, Carlesimo stopped the car on the way home to make sure he was still breathing.
Kyle loves basketball and is quite the shooter, making his first basket this year on a 10-foot hoop. His wardrobe consists of Spurs gear from head to toe, but Carlesimo says that will change from black and white to green and gold when they get to Seattle. Spurs guard Brent Barry promised to give him some of his old Sonics jerseys.
Casey's more rambunctious. "He's like a little maniac," Carlesimo said. "He's completely out of control."
As an assistant coach at San Antonio, Carlesimo had less responsibility and more time to be home.
As a head coach in Seattle, he knows he will have to improve his time management, using part of his day to rebuild a team and part of his day to be a dad.
"It's going to be a little more of a challenge," he said. "I'll try to get home at a better hour, in the early evening. And when I'm home with the kids and Carolyn, it will be down time."
Said Carolyn: "He has his priorities in order. He'll be fine."
"This is something I wanted to do," Carlesimo said. "I'm real happy with the two little guys."
What about a third little guy or a first little girl? No, they said, not a chance.
P-I columnist Jim Moore can be reached at 206-448-8013 or [email protected]. His columns appear Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/moore/324261_moore19.html
On and on it went, understandably, because the man has coached for years, but nothing caught my attention until I noticed the stuff about his personal life.
A lot of 58-year-olds have two kids, but most are in their 20s or 30s, out of school and starting their own families.
Carlesimo's kids are 4 and 2. Kyle's not even in kindergarten yet, and Casey's in diapers.
As a 50-year-old father of 3-year-old twins, I wondered how he copes, and if he, too, sometimes wants to shoot himself.
I also wondered if he gets mistaken for being the grandpa instead of the dad, and sure enough, he does. His story has an extra kicker.
At a Starbucks in San Francisco, Carlesimo was mistaken for being the grandpa, and worse than that, the guy behind the counter thought his wife was his daughter. Ouch.
It's possible -- Carlesimo's wife, Carolyn, is 39. The coach said she's 18 years younger than him, rounding up ages, but she won't turn 40 until October. She's the same age as his youngest brother, and he gets grief for that, too.
"Luckily, P.J. has the greatest self-confidence and self-esteem of anyone I've ever known," Carolyn said. "It doesn't faze him. But it is kind of funny."
Said Carlesimo: "It's just more abuse, which I'm used to taking."
He always wanted children. Carlesimo's parents each had nine siblings, and he was the oldest of 10 kids in his family. But Carlesimo never had a serious girlfriend until he met Carolyn when he was 49.
Until then, "a long-term relationship for me was dating for a long time with zero regularity," Carlesimo said.
Ask him if ever had a fiancée before Carolyn, and he'll say: "Far from it."
But he knew right away when he met Carolyn, a sports psychologist who worked at the Olympic Club in San Francisco, where Carlesimo was a member while coaching at Golden State.
"I was starting to wonder if it would ever happen," Carlesimo said. "It's hard to get married if you haven't met the person you want to marry."
He proposed on New Year's Eve of 2000 in his apartment, saying: "I don't even know why the hell I picked the millennium to be honest with you." They were married the following July when Carlesimo was 51.
Was he sure he wanted to have kids at his age? "Absolutely," he said. "It wasn't like we've got to get married so we can have kids right away, but it was something we talked about."
Carolyn said her husband's a natural dad. His father was a football coach and athletic director, and the kids all pitched in to help out their mom. Carlesimo grew up in Scranton, Pa., changing diapers and baby-sitting, an older brother doubling as father figure.
Their roles are different from most moms and dads -- Carolyn's the carefree one, and Carlesimo's the overprotective worrywart.
"The thing about P.J., people who don't know him only see him as a coach and think he's tough," Carolyn said. "But he's the most soft-hearted, sensitive, sweet guy in the world.
"He's happy holding babies. It's weird to find a guy who is happy as can be changing diapers and getting up at night."
When Kyle was born July 30, 2002, in San Francisco, Carlesimo stopped the car on the way home to make sure he was still breathing.
Kyle loves basketball and is quite the shooter, making his first basket this year on a 10-foot hoop. His wardrobe consists of Spurs gear from head to toe, but Carlesimo says that will change from black and white to green and gold when they get to Seattle. Spurs guard Brent Barry promised to give him some of his old Sonics jerseys.
Casey's more rambunctious. "He's like a little maniac," Carlesimo said. "He's completely out of control."
As an assistant coach at San Antonio, Carlesimo had less responsibility and more time to be home.
As a head coach in Seattle, he knows he will have to improve his time management, using part of his day to rebuild a team and part of his day to be a dad.
"It's going to be a little more of a challenge," he said. "I'll try to get home at a better hour, in the early evening. And when I'm home with the kids and Carolyn, it will be down time."
Said Carolyn: "He has his priorities in order. He'll be fine."
"This is something I wanted to do," Carlesimo said. "I'm real happy with the two little guys."
What about a third little guy or a first little girl? No, they said, not a chance.
P-I columnist Jim Moore can be reached at 206-448-8013 or [email protected]. His columns appear Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/moore/324261_moore19.html