I think I broke up a marriage...

[50 cent]

This all happened last night, I'm feeling pretty... weird right now. I never thought I could do this! Okay, here's the story. I've been pretty good friends with this married chick. Okay, maybe I'm lying. We actually used to date for a while a couple years ago, but have always stayed in touch.

She got married about a year and a half after we broke up. She got married at 23, I guess that was the first problem. However, I still have had feelings for her since (sad, I know.. =/). She's been married for a little over 2 months now, and all has been good so far. She still calls me to complain about trivial things guys do that girls always complain about. The usual, you know?

Yeah so anyway, she called me last night saying she had cooked this real nice dinner, but the hubby decided to stay out a little later with his buddies. A poker game or something, I didn't really ask. She was feeling a little lonely, so she invited me over. My mind screamed, "No! Don't do it man!", but my stomach pleaded "Come on, you remember she is a bad ass cook. Take one for the team!". After debating a bit, I thought I would drop by. Strictly platonic and only friendship... so I thought.

So I drop by her place around 8, and the place still sort smelled like blown out candles. That smoky, disgusting smell. I knew that she planned this to be a special night, so I felt all the more weirded out by this. In the middle of dinner, I noticed an empty, used glass and a bottle of wine on the kitchen counter.. so she had obviously been drinking a little. At this point, I start a little math problem in my mind..

A little booze + romantic night foiled + another man in the house + old flame = GTFO NOW.

Of course, I tried to play it cool.. and not panic, so I finished dinner with her, to keep her company and all that good stuff. It is now the end of the night, around 930. Still a little wary of the situation, I announce my departure and I thank her for the delicious meal. She walks me to the door and gives me a hug, but something was different. It wasn't a totally friendly hug. She felt like she collapsed onto me, but was fully conscious. Her lips grazed my neck, and that's when the "red alert" in my mind shot off. Why the red alert? Well because someone decided to stand at attention at the wrong time.

....She definitely noticed this and smiled at me. She had spun her web around me and I was her helpless prey. So we move onto her couch, I was hypnotized by the entire situation, it was a dream come true, mixed with a little terror.

That's when hubby decides to come home. We weren't getting it on yet, but it was something that shouldn't have been going on. He FREAKS THE FUCK OUT(with good reason, of course) and decides to chase after me! With lightning quick reflexes, I jumped up off the couch, picked my pants up and ran out the front door while dodging his drunk with anger punches. Once I got outside the door, I whistled for a cab and when it came near. The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I can say this cab is rare. But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'. I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later' I looked at my kingdom I was finally there To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air.

[easjer]

:lol

[dougp]

I'm hoping this was a joke, eh?

[Fillmoe]

:lol :lol

[ShoogarBear]

Second time in the Club the Fresh Prince ending has been pulled off successfully, but you still gotta tell us the first part was a joke.

[ALVAREZ6]

Very nice

[Avitus1]

Wow you truly are...
http://www.lovefilm.com/lovefilm/images/products/8/62818-large.jpg

[peewee's lovechild]

I ended my parents marriage when I was born.

I've never been the same since.

[Bigzax]

i like it a lawt. :lol

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

I gotta admit, you pulled it off very well. :lol

[BacktoBasics]

Outstanding work my friend. I give it a 9.5 out of 10

[PM5K]

I concur...

[Sunshine]

A+

[Bigzax]

i would have liked more details about the food itself though...

[ALVAREZ6]

hahahahahahahahah
:clap :clap :lol :lmao
hahahahahahahahah hahahahahahahahah hahahahahahahahah hahahahahahahahah hahahahahahahahah hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha hhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah ahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha hahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahah ahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha hahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahah ahahahv

hahahahahahahahah hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha hhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah ahv
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha hhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah ahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahah
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha hhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah ahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahv
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha hhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah ahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahv
:lol
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha hhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah ahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha hahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahah ahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha hahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahah ahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahaha hahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahah ahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahaha hahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahah ahahahahahv
hahahahahahahahah hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha hhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah ahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha hahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahah ahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha hahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahah ahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahaha hahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahah ahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahaha hahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahah ahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahah ahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaha hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhah ahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahha hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahh ahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahah hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha hhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah ahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha hahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahah ahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha hahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahah ahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahaha hahahahhahahahahahahahah
hahahahahahahahah
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha hhahahahahahahahah
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha h
hahahahahahahahah
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahah

hahahahahahahahah
:lmao
hahahahahahahahah
:lol
ha
hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahah ahahahahahah
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha hhahahahahahahahah
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha h
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha h
hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahah ahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahah
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha hhahahahahahahahah
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha hhahahahahahahahah
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha hhahahahahahahahah
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha hhahahahahahahahah
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha hhahahahahahahahah
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha hhahahahahahahahah
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha hhahahahahahahahah
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha hhahahahahahahahah
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha hhahahahahahahahah
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha hhahahahahahahahah
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha hhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah ahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha hahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahah ahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha hahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahah ahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahaha hahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahah ahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahaha hahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahah ahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahah ahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaha hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhah ahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahha hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahh ahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahah hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha hhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah ahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha hahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahah ahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha hahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahah ahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahaha hahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahah ahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahaha hahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahah ahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahah ahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaha hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhah ahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahha hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahh ahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahah hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha hhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahah

[Fillmoe]

hehehehehheheheheheheh LOLLERSKATES, LOLLERBLADES

[ALVAREZ6]

Roflcopter

[Mixability]

is the troll forum closed?

[ALVAREZ6]

is the troll forum closed? :spin :toast :reading :hat :wakeup :drunk :pctoss :dizzy :) :wtf :devil :clap :married: :sleep :ihit :nope :downspin:

[Borosai]

That was fresh. :lol

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

Hilarity at its finest.

[1369]

Well played.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a64/Adragontattoo/Digi%20pics%20to%20be%20sorted/Random%20stuff/thapplause.gif

[florige]

Very cool dude... :lol

[angel_luv]

That killed about three minutes of dead time at work. Thank you . :)

[DarkReign]

That totally got me. Touche'

[ObiwanGinobili]

I'm literally holding my sides. :lmao
classic :tu good job dude.

[ShoogarBear]

LMAO that Obi got to this one last.

[ObiwanGinobili]

fuck you dude. I got life to live.


:lol but in any order you read them, it;s still funny as hell.

[Phil Hellmuth]

Ding Ding Ding!

[50 cent]

Damn, I guess I set the trend of Fresh Prince jokes on here.

:lol

[MaNuMaNiAc]

:lol I was actually thinking it was all bullshit while reading it, then I got to the end and just cracked up. Well done

[Cant_Be_Faded]

Can someone inform CBF how and why this fresh prince thign started?


BTW, good job, had me hook line and sinker.

[E20]

As soon as I saw the lenght of the post I just scrolled down to read Bel-Air. Alvarez's was the most original and funny. :tu

[Cant_Be_Faded]

link to alvarez's?

[E20]

link to alvarez's?
http://spurstalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=75198

[johnsmith]

This all happened last night, I'm feeling pretty... weird right now. I never thought I could do this! Okay, here's the story. I've been pretty good friends with this married chick. Okay, maybe I'm lying. We actually used to date for a while a couple years ago, but have always stayed in touch.

She got married about a year and a half after we broke up. She got married at 23, I guess that was the first problem. However, I still have had feelings for her since (sad, I know.. =/). She's been married for a little over 2 months now, and all has been good so far. She still calls me to complain about trivial things guys do that girls always complain about. The usual, you know?

Yeah so anyway, she called me last night saying she had cooked this real nice dinner, but the hubby decided to stay out a little later with his buddies. A poker game or something, I didn't really ask. She was feeling a little lonely, so she invited me over. My mind screamed, "No! Don't do it man!", but my stomach pleaded "Come on, you remember she is a bad ass cook. Take one for the team!". After debating a bit, I thought I would drop by. Strictly platonic and only friendship... so I thought.

So I drop by her place around 8, and the place still sort smelled like blown out candles. That smoky, disgusting smell. I knew that she planned this to be a special night, so I felt all the more weirded out by this. In the middle of dinner, I noticed an empty, used glass and a bottle of wine on the kitchen counter.. so she had obviously been drinking a little. At this point, I start a little math problem in my mind..

A little booze + romantic night foiled + another man in the house + old flame = GTFO NOW.

Of course, I tried to play it cool.. and not panic, so I finished dinner with her, to keep her company and all that good stuff. It is now the end of the night, around 930. Still a little wary of the situation, I announce my departure and I thank her for the delicious meal. She walks me to the door and gives me a hug, but something was different. It wasn't a totally friendly hug. She felt like she collapsed onto me, but was fully conscious. Her lips grazed my neck, and that's when the "red alert" in my mind shot off. Why the red alert? Well because someone decided to stand at attention at the wrong time.

....She definitely noticed this and smiled at me. She had spun her web around me and I was her helpless prey. So we move onto her couch, I was hypnotized by the entire situation, it was a dream come true, mixed with a little terror.

That's when hubby decides to come home. We weren't getting it on yet, but it was something that shouldn't have been going on. He FREAKS THE FUCK OUT(with good reason, of course) and decides to chase after me! With lightning quick reflexes, I jumped up off the couch, picked my pants up and ran out the front door while dodging his drunk with anger punches. Once I got outside the door, I whistled for a cab and when it came near. The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I can say this cab is rare. But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'. I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later' I looked at my kingdom I was finally there To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air.


That was the first time I've actually laughed out loud at a post.

Well done.

[johnsmith]

As soon as I saw the lenght of the post I just scrolled down to read Bel-Air. Alvarez's was the most original and funny. :tu


wrong.

[E20]

wrong.
http://www.monkeysfly.net/kaistar/comedy/retard.gif

[atxrocker]

Damn, I guess I set the trend of Fresh Prince jokes on here.

:lol


i think dave deserves credit for his original one in 06

[ShoogarBear]

The moral of the story:

same joke spaced six months apart = funny

same joke spaced six minutes apart = not so funny

[50 cent]

This should be in the classics.

[spursfan09]

:lol

at first I was thinking to myself, who whistles for a cab in SA?

[Chief]

:lol
:lol

[IronMexican]

:lol

at first I was thinking to myself, who whistles for a cab in SA?

:lol

man, this thread made my day, i think i missed it the first time.

[Heath Ledger]

My bullshit alarm went off after 2 or 3 sentences. It seemed like one of those cheesy storys in the back of a hustler magazine.

[E20]

My bullshit alarm went off after 2 or 3 sentences. It seemed like one of those cheesy storys in the back of a hustler magazine.
Last year a lot of people came out with these types of threads with the Fresh Prince song at then end.

Here was mine: http://spurstalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=75369


Also it has been a while since I saw this thread, so I didn't know what it was at first, so after I read it I realized what it was at the end. LOL

[Slomo]

i would have liked more details about the food itself though...

:lol


me too :oops

[stretch]

bump

[RandomGuy]

I guess this is "bump random really old threads day".

I approve.