John Kerry
08-02-2007, 03:10 PM
The Long Ballad Of Rusty
Rusty, the sticky midget, held his mouth open, ready to receive the agitated flagella of the used car salesman that towered above him. A drop of sweat collected, then fell from the salesman’s forehead and it hit Rusty in the goatee.
“This will be the last time,” Rusty swore to himself as the sweat cut a rivulet from the perimeter of his whiskers to the corner of his mouth. “It tastes like old water and kosher salt,” the Jew/midget thought.
Rusty had told himself “Never again” many times during the past three days, yet he knew he still had three more movies on his Vivid contract. The Jorgensen vice tightening on his privates served as further emphasis that the Mayor had no intention of letting Rusty out of his contract. And if that wasn’t enough, the introduction of an eel into Rusty’s interior would certainly make him reconsider his profession hesitation, the pediatrician thought as he decorated a birthday cake.
The Senator just grinned from the shadowed recess of the family room as the bullets lovingly passed through his head.
Rusty kept going, thinking "this has taken its toll on me. I am going to end it all. But first I want to die naturally and save old batteries. I just love irony. And ebony."
The mayor cracked his whip and told Rusty "If you are like me, and are left-handed, you have always been fascinated by the murder-suicide pact. I personally have backed out of two of these. Yet not after courageously blowing the living hell out of the other persons’ head-body-mouths. Think of a Gallagher show, but with less watermelon and more gray matter. I don’t know what the hell I am talking about. Call me."
Rusty didn't know what to say to this. The car salesman finished, again.
"The point is," The Mayor continued while wiping the antifreeze from his mouth, "that I can’t seem to cheat on my wife without bragging to her family about it. Taunting them actually. Then I laugh for 100 minutes and punch an antelope if one is wandering by."
"Except always," the salesman chimed in.
THE END
Rusty, the sticky midget, held his mouth open, ready to receive the agitated flagella of the used car salesman that towered above him. A drop of sweat collected, then fell from the salesman’s forehead and it hit Rusty in the goatee.
“This will be the last time,” Rusty swore to himself as the sweat cut a rivulet from the perimeter of his whiskers to the corner of his mouth. “It tastes like old water and kosher salt,” the Jew/midget thought.
Rusty had told himself “Never again” many times during the past three days, yet he knew he still had three more movies on his Vivid contract. The Jorgensen vice tightening on his privates served as further emphasis that the Mayor had no intention of letting Rusty out of his contract. And if that wasn’t enough, the introduction of an eel into Rusty’s interior would certainly make him reconsider his profession hesitation, the pediatrician thought as he decorated a birthday cake.
The Senator just grinned from the shadowed recess of the family room as the bullets lovingly passed through his head.
Rusty kept going, thinking "this has taken its toll on me. I am going to end it all. But first I want to die naturally and save old batteries. I just love irony. And ebony."
The mayor cracked his whip and told Rusty "If you are like me, and are left-handed, you have always been fascinated by the murder-suicide pact. I personally have backed out of two of these. Yet not after courageously blowing the living hell out of the other persons’ head-body-mouths. Think of a Gallagher show, but with less watermelon and more gray matter. I don’t know what the hell I am talking about. Call me."
Rusty didn't know what to say to this. The car salesman finished, again.
"The point is," The Mayor continued while wiping the antifreeze from his mouth, "that I can’t seem to cheat on my wife without bragging to her family about it. Taunting them actually. Then I laugh for 100 minutes and punch an antelope if one is wandering by."
"Except always," the salesman chimed in.
THE END