Ed Helicopter Jones
08-03-2007, 07:23 PM
A few weeks ago my wife and son and I took a little trip to California to see some relatives and chill on the beaches of the West coast.
Most of the trip was your typical family California vacation...nice cool beaches, family outings, the obligatory trip to Disneyhell, hours spent at the hotel pools, etc.
On the last full day of our trip we stop at one of my favorite restaurants, the Crab Cooker on Newport Beach. The waitress sits us down across from this attractive mid-30's couple, partiers I can immediately tell from past experience, but attractive, with me facing the couple and my wife and Chopper Jr. sitting across from me.
Anyway, the wife and I are talking food, Chopper Jr. is minding his own business licking the top of the salt shaker, and through the corner of my eye I keep seeing the woman at the next table looking over at me.
Finally I return the glance, and when I do she turns in her chair to face me and lifts her cotton skirt up and uncrosses her legs. I've seen the movie The Full Monte...I guess my view in the restaurant would have to be called The Full Monica. Underwear must not be sold in California these days.
Somewhat embarrassed, especially considering my current company, I give her little show-and-tell display just a split second of my attention and look away.
I try to continue as if nothing had happened but I keep feeling this woman looking at me. For a second I thought perhaps I had gotten an accidental view of the goodies and perhaps this woman was embarrassed, too, so for a second time I return her stare. Once again up comes the skirt and I'm given the full view of the merchandise!
Mrs. Chopper is now talking about something she bought at one of the beachfront stores and Chopper Jr. has now moved on to eating the breadsticks at the table. I decide to swing my chair around and position it so Mrs. Chopper is sitting between myself and the flasher so that my view is blocked. I still sensed this woman trying to look at me and at some point she got up and walked to the bathroom and shot me a pissed off look. Now I'm thinking this chick is a psycho and is going to come back from the bathroom and tell my wife I'm staring at her snatch. At this point I'm forced to initiate the come clean defensive strategy in case things get ugly. I lean over towards my wife and quietly tell her...
"Honey, that gal who just got up to go to the bathroom keeps flashing her muffin at me."
"Perhaps she's waiting in the men's room for you," was all the wifey could say. Gotta love a woman secure in her own skin.
Not wanting the situation to get any more uncomfortable we quickly finished our meal and went out to catch a cab. When the cab pulled up it had a license plate that read...........
just kidding, this is actually a true story. Certainly not one of my wildest, but about the best you can do while on a family vacation. I thought we need at least one real personal experience thread in the Club.
Most of the trip was your typical family California vacation...nice cool beaches, family outings, the obligatory trip to Disneyhell, hours spent at the hotel pools, etc.
On the last full day of our trip we stop at one of my favorite restaurants, the Crab Cooker on Newport Beach. The waitress sits us down across from this attractive mid-30's couple, partiers I can immediately tell from past experience, but attractive, with me facing the couple and my wife and Chopper Jr. sitting across from me.
Anyway, the wife and I are talking food, Chopper Jr. is minding his own business licking the top of the salt shaker, and through the corner of my eye I keep seeing the woman at the next table looking over at me.
Finally I return the glance, and when I do she turns in her chair to face me and lifts her cotton skirt up and uncrosses her legs. I've seen the movie The Full Monte...I guess my view in the restaurant would have to be called The Full Monica. Underwear must not be sold in California these days.
Somewhat embarrassed, especially considering my current company, I give her little show-and-tell display just a split second of my attention and look away.
I try to continue as if nothing had happened but I keep feeling this woman looking at me. For a second I thought perhaps I had gotten an accidental view of the goodies and perhaps this woman was embarrassed, too, so for a second time I return her stare. Once again up comes the skirt and I'm given the full view of the merchandise!
Mrs. Chopper is now talking about something she bought at one of the beachfront stores and Chopper Jr. has now moved on to eating the breadsticks at the table. I decide to swing my chair around and position it so Mrs. Chopper is sitting between myself and the flasher so that my view is blocked. I still sensed this woman trying to look at me and at some point she got up and walked to the bathroom and shot me a pissed off look. Now I'm thinking this chick is a psycho and is going to come back from the bathroom and tell my wife I'm staring at her snatch. At this point I'm forced to initiate the come clean defensive strategy in case things get ugly. I lean over towards my wife and quietly tell her...
"Honey, that gal who just got up to go to the bathroom keeps flashing her muffin at me."
"Perhaps she's waiting in the men's room for you," was all the wifey could say. Gotta love a woman secure in her own skin.
Not wanting the situation to get any more uncomfortable we quickly finished our meal and went out to catch a cab. When the cab pulled up it had a license plate that read...........
just kidding, this is actually a true story. Certainly not one of my wildest, but about the best you can do while on a family vacation. I thought we need at least one real personal experience thread in the Club.