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View Full Version : The Good Excuses Thread/Vault


ALVAREZ6
09-05-2007, 08:19 PM
We oughtta have a thread filled with many legit excuses for when people here are in need of good ones and they don't have all the time in the world to think. This is for people that don't want to go to a particular event or meet a certain person or go to a certain party or hang out with certain people, or for any other reason.


If you're tired of going to the same boring shit or you're close with certain people but you're all out of legit reasons to miss something, this is your thread.




So....let the ideas flow.

:wakeup
DisgruntledLionFan#54,927
09-05-2007, 08:22 PM
I always use:

I don't want to.

No thanks.

I don't feel like it.

Fuck off.
ALVAREZ6
09-05-2007, 08:24 PM
I occasionaly use a few of those as well.




But not everyone wants to be a dick, even while being truthful.
DisgruntledLionFan#54,927
09-05-2007, 08:27 PM
Sorry, but I'm volunteering at <insert local shelter> that day. Maybe next time.
ashbeeigh
09-05-2007, 08:30 PM
Too tired. I had a seizure last night.



Serious. I used it once. Best excuse, ever.
exstatic
09-05-2007, 09:51 PM
I have to re-arrange my sock drawer.
jman3000
09-05-2007, 09:55 PM
car trouble will always be number 1 in my heart. if you show up late alls you gotta do is rub your tire a bit ... maybe rub a bit on your brow or cheek ... and say you had a flat and had to change it. i've used that on anything from dates to family gatherings.

:tu
ashbeeigh
09-05-2007, 09:57 PM
car trouble will always be number 1 in my heart. if you show up late alls you gotta do is rub your tire a bit ... maybe rub a bit on your brow or cheek ... and say you had a flat and had to change it. i've used that on anything from dates to family gatherings.

:tu

Don't use that the same day you use "I'm sick." Someone I had a class with used "car trouble" and "I was sick" on the same day for two different classes...the professors talked and she was in deep shit.
jaffies
09-05-2007, 10:00 PM
you say, "sorry I can't go...I am reading the responses to a thread I made about making excuses."
jman3000
09-05-2007, 10:05 PM
Don't use that the same day you use "I'm sick." Someone I had a class with used "car trouble" and "I was sick" on the same day for two different classes...the professors talked and she was in deep shit.
your friend is a dumb cunt... any liar worth his or her respective salt knows not to do some amateur shit like that.
jman3000
09-05-2007, 10:08 PM
youre a dumb cunt too btw.
ashbeeigh
09-05-2007, 10:10 PM
your friend is a dumb cunt... any liar worth his or her respective salt knows not to do some amateur shit like that.

She wasn't a friend, just someone I went to school with. The professor told me, in confidence that she was a dumb cunt, too.
jman3000
09-05-2007, 10:14 PM
i forgot... you have no friends.
Zombie
09-05-2007, 10:24 PM
Don't answer the phone!
Fillmoe
09-05-2007, 10:39 PM
I would, but I have a date with your sister that night.
Fillmoe
09-05-2007, 10:40 PM
I cant my herpes is flaring up again.
Fillmoe
09-05-2007, 10:40 PM
not today, my explosive diarrhea is acting up again
spurs_fan_in_exile
09-05-2007, 11:31 PM
not today, my explosive diarrhea is acting up again
Always a good one. The second the D word comes out people don't want any more details.

If you want a good go to excuse, get married. It's a lot easier to call in and say that you had to take your wife to the doctor's office than to try to sound sick over the phone and then miraculously show up for work the next day looking like new.
Avitus1
09-06-2007, 12:36 AM
I always use "I got tickets to (either movie, sporting event, or whatever) there is no way I can do that."
Leetonidas
09-06-2007, 12:51 AM
My penis exploded.
flipcritic
09-06-2007, 05:29 AM
Like Conan O' Brien said (at a HS commencement address):

Don't use "I have a family emergency". Just say "I have diarrhea". Nobody says they have diarrhea... unless they have diarrhea.
flipcritic
09-06-2007, 05:30 AM
Another good one is, "I have to pick up my [insert relative] from the airport".
sa_butta
09-06-2007, 07:28 AM
There is a flood in the bathroom and Im waiting for the plumber.
ShoogarBear
09-06-2007, 07:29 AM
My penis exploded.A bit extreme.

Better is "I was told if the erection lasts more than four hours to see a doctor".
PakiDan
09-06-2007, 09:00 AM
My penis exploded.

:lol :lol :lol :lol

For females: "My waj (vagina) fell out"
Soul_Patch
09-06-2007, 09:07 AM
If you want a good go to excuse, get married. It's a lot easier to call in and say that you had to take your wife to the doctor's office than to try to sound sick over the phone and then miraculously show up for work the next day looking like new.

Works well....ive also used the diarreha excuse.
ShoogarBear
09-06-2007, 11:41 AM
...or shoogarbearhttp://www.mgroves.com/images%5Cdo_not_want.jpg