LMAO- Week 3 Power Rankings!

[TheSanityAnnex]

I always enjoy going to profootballtalk.com for a good laugh.



http://www.profootballtalk.com/WeekTwoPowerRankings.htm


1. New England Patriots (2-0): The Pats tell the world, "We've got your distraction right here."

2. Indianapolis Colts (2-0): If they thought the Titans were a challenge, wait 'til they get a load of the Texans.

3. Pittsburgh Steelers (2-0): Bill Cowher? Who in the hell is Bill Cowher?

4. Chicago Bears (1-1): Maybe Lovie Smith should spike Rex Grossman's Gatorade the day before the piss man arrives.

5. Dallas Cowboys (2-0): We smell a statement game this weekend against the Bears. (Or maybe Tank Johnson has been eating summer sausage again.)

6. Denver Broncos (2-0): Coach Kevlar dodges another bullet.

7. Cincinnati Bengals (1-1): The fact that the Bengals are ranked this high after giving up more than 50 points shows how weak the NFL is right now.

8. San Diego Chargers (1-1): So much for taking it to the next level under Mr. Roper.

9. Houston Texans (2-0): Former G.M. Charley Casserly's best personnel move ever was to resign.

10. Green Bay Packers (2-0): The two teams they've beaten are simply not very good.

11. Seattle Seahawks (1-1): The neo-Steelers stick it to the 'Hawks (without much help from the zebras).

12. Tennessee Titans (1-1): This team will be in every game it plays -- until Uncle Rico gets busted into seven pieces.

13. Baltimore Ravens (1-1): Right now, 3-13 could be more likely than 13-3.

14. Washington Redskins (2-0): We wish they played the Cowboys before the middle of November.

15. Detroit Lions (2-0): If God really wanted to work a miracle for the Lions, Rodney Harrison would hit Jon Kitna square in the kneecap, and J.T. O'Sullivan would marry a chick with short gray hair.

16. San Francisco 49ers (2-0): Why do they even bother to pass?

17. Carolina Panthers (1-1): Losing to the Texans at home is like getting punched out by a dwarf. (Unfortunately, we can relate.)

18. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-1): Ten years after the Bucs busted onto the scene, is it time to take them seriously again?

19. Arizona Cardinals (1-1): The culture of losing could be finally starting to fade.

20. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-1): Beating the Falcons by less than a touchdown should technically count as a loss.

21. St. Louis Rams (0-2): We hope Scott Linehan enjoyed his days as an offensive coordinator; he might be re-living them soon.

22. New York Jets (0-2): The problem with exceeding expectations in Year One is that expectations are higher in round two.

23. Philadelphia Eagles (0-2): Things went from bad to horrendous on Monday night.

24. New Orleans Saints (0-2): Losing to the Bucs is a bad sign for a team that fattened up last year on the bad teams in the conference.

25. Oakland Raiders (0-2): At least they're showing up for the first 50 or so minutes this year.

26. Cleveland Browns (1-1): The fans deserved a big win. Hopefully, they'll get a few more. This decade.

27. Buffalo Bills (0-2): At least they're tied for second place in the division.

28. Minnesota Vikings (1-1): The best-case scenario for this team is 8-8. Which could be good enough for the No. 5 seed in the conference.

29. Miami Dolphins (0-2): Cam Cameron is having vivid memories of what it was like to coach at the bottom of the Big Ten.

30. Kansas City Chiefs (0-2): This weekend's home game against the Vikings might be the best chance to win a game in September. Or October through December.

31. New York Giants (0-2): This team's mojo apparently was kept under Ernie Accorsi's scalp-shaped welcome mat.

32. Atlanta Falcons (0-2): They actually would be No. 35, if the list were merged with the CFL




Broncos fans must love this one.
I'd like to know how this guy puts the Bears above the Chargers, after losing to the Chargers. I'd like to know how Denver is ranked so high after barely beating two shitty teams, while Green Bay gets dogged for beating two shitty teams. Bengals are way too high after losing a shootout to the Browns of all teams. Pittsburgh is way too high and hasn't played a decent team yet.

[Findog]

There's 1A) New England 1B) Indianapolis and 2-31: Everybody Else. Can't really be bothered to determine the exact order of 2-31.

[Tippecanoe]

too freaking early for a power ranking

[Thunder Dan]

I'm not saying the Browns deserve to be higher than they are, because last week was most likely a fluke; however the Saints get blown out 2 weeks in a row, the Jets look like complete crap, and the Rams have yet to show anything, and they are all ahead of the Browns. Just saying.. How many passes do the Aints get?

[TheSanityAnnex]

Besides the first 2, the rest of the list is a mess.

[johnsmith]

Broncos fans must love this one.
I'd like to know how this guy puts the Bears above the Chargers, after losing to the Chargers. I'd like to know how Denver is ranked so high after barely beating two shitty teams, while Green Bay gets dogged for beating two shitty teams. Bengals are way too high after losing a shootout to the Browns of all teams. Pittsburgh is way too high and hasn't played a decent team yet.


Let me preface this by saying once again that I love the Denver Broncos. Having said that, you're right, they shouldn't be that high. Personally, I wouldn't care if they were the last team on the list but if they keep barely winning games then I don't really care, just as long as they win.

Good or bad though, the Broncos are ranked high on all of these lists because they are 2-0 and they have a lot of "potential". If you look at their offense, they really do have a lot of weapons, they have a cannon at QB, a running back that should he stay healthy should go over 1,500 yards, two excellent receivers in Walker and Marshall as well as a damn good posession guy in Stokley. Their offensive line continues to be dominant in the run game (although needs to work on stopping a bull rush) and their pass defense is tremendous. All of these things added together should make an amazing team.

Having said that, the offense has too many new faces and they are having trouble getting the ball in the endzone. The defensive line is horrendous at stopping the run, their linebackers are constantly over pursuing the ball and getting abused on a cutback and their safety can't cover a pass anymore.

I see all sorts of upside to the Broncos if this exact team stayed together for more then one season, but this year I still think is a learning year.

Hopefully I'm wrong though and maybe they start clicking.

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

Bly get caught trying to jump a slant yet, johnsmith?? If not, it's coming soon...

[TheSanityAnnex]

Let me preface this by saying once again that I love the Denver Broncos. Having said that, you're right, they shouldn't be that high. Personally, I wouldn't care if they were the last team on the list but if they keep barely winning games then I don't really care, just as long as they win.

Good or bad though, the Broncos are ranked high on all of these lists because they are 2-0 and they have a lot of "potential". If you look at their offense, they really do have a lot of weapons, they have a cannon at QB, a running back that should he stay healthy should go over 1,500 yards, two excellent receivers in Walker and Marshall as well as a damn good posession guy in Stokley. Their offensive line continues to be dominant in the run game (although needs to work on stopping a bull rush) and their pass defense is tremendous. All of these things added together should make an amazing team.

Having said that, the offense has too many new faces and they are having trouble getting the ball in the endzone. The defensive line is horrendous at stopping the run, their linebackers are constantly over pursuing the ball and getting abused on a cutback and their safety can't cover a pass anymore.

I see all sorts of upside to the Broncos if this exact team stayed together for more then one season, but this year I still think is a learning year.

Hopefully I'm wrong though and maybe they start clicking.Isn't there an *official broncos thread* you can post this crap in? Fucking hijacker.


Your defense right now is what I'd be most concerned about. From the two games I've seen, it just doesn't look the Denver defense of years past. Time will tell, the season is just starting, reason being I posted this ridiculous week 3 ranking.


How would you ever have lived down the loss to the Raiders had Shanahan not spooked Janikowski after he made his first attempt?

[Mr.Bottomtooth]

Bengals in front of the Texans? Shenanigans.

[tlongII]

It's not important. The NFL settles things on the field....with the exception of the 2006 Super Bowl.

[greenroom]

I always enjoy going to profootballtalk.com for a good laugh.



http://www.profootballtalk.com/WeekTwoPowerRankings.htm


1. New England Patriots (2-0): The Pats tell the world, "We've got your distraction right here."

2. Indianapolis Colts (2-0): If they thought the Titans were a challenge, wait 'til they get a load of the Texans.

3. Pittsburgh Steelers (2-0): Bill Cowher? Who in the hell is Bill Cowher?

4. Chicago Bears (1-1): Maybe Lovie Smith should spike Rex Grossman's Gatorade the day before the piss man arrives.

5. Dallas Cowboys (2-0): We smell a statement game this weekend against the Bears. (Or maybe Tank Johnson has been eating summer sausage again.)

6. Denver Broncos (2-0): Coach Kevlar dodges another bullet.

7. Cincinnati Bengals (1-1): The fact that the Bengals are ranked this high after giving up more than 50 points shows how weak the NFL is right now.

8. San Diego Chargers (1-1): So much for taking it to the next level under Mr. Roper.

9. Houston Texans (2-0): Former G.M. Charley Casserly's best personnel move ever was to resign.

10. Green Bay Packers (2-0): The two teams they've beaten are simply not very good.

11. Seattle Seahawks (1-1): The neo-Steelers stick it to the 'Hawks (without much help from the zebras).

12. Tennessee Titans (1-1): This team will be in every game it plays -- until Uncle Rico gets busted into seven pieces.

13. Baltimore Ravens (1-1): Right now, 3-13 could be more likely than 13-3.

14. Washington Redskins (2-0): We wish they played the Cowboys before the middle of November.

15. Detroit Lions (2-0): If God really wanted to work a miracle for the Lions, Rodney Harrison would hit Jon Kitna square in the kneecap, and J.T. O'Sullivan would marry a chick with short gray hair.

16. San Francisco 49ers (2-0): Why do they even bother to pass?

17. Carolina Panthers (1-1): Losing to the Texans at home is like getting punched out by a dwarf. (Unfortunately, we can relate.)

18. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-1): Ten years after the Bucs busted onto the scene, is it time to take them seriously again?

19. Arizona Cardinals (1-1): The culture of losing could be finally starting to fade.

20. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-1): Beating the Falcons by less than a touchdown should technically count as a loss.

21. St. Louis Rams (0-2): We hope Scott Linehan enjoyed his days as an offensive coordinator; he might be re-living them soon.

22. New York Jets (0-2): The problem with exceeding expectations in Year One is that expectations are higher in round two.

23. Philadelphia Eagles (0-2): Things went from bad to horrendous on Monday night.

24. New Orleans Saints (0-2): Losing to the Bucs is a bad sign for a team that fattened up last year on the bad teams in the conference.

25. Oakland Raiders (0-2): At least they're showing up for the first 50 or so minutes this year.

26. Cleveland Browns (1-1): The fans deserved a big win. Hopefully, they'll get a few more. This decade.

27. Buffalo Bills (0-2): At least they're tied for second place in the division.

28. Minnesota Vikings (1-1): The best-case scenario for this team is 8-8. Which could be good enough for the No. 5 seed in the conference.

29. Miami Dolphins (0-2): Cam Cameron is having vivid memories of what it was like to coach at the bottom of the Big Ten.

30. Kansas City Chiefs (0-2): This weekend's home game against the Vikings might be the best chance to win a game in September. Or October through December.

31. New York Giants (0-2): This team's mojo apparently was kept under Ernie Accorsi's scalp-shaped welcome mat.

32. Atlanta Falcons (0-2): They actually would be No. 35, if the list were merged with the CFL




Broncos fans must love this one.
I'd like to know how this guy puts the Bears above the Chargers, after losing to the Chargers. I'd like to know how Denver is ranked so high after barely beating two shitty teams, while Green Bay gets dogged for beating two shitty teams. Bengals are way too high after losing a shootout to the Browns of all teams. Pittsburgh is way too high and hasn't played a decent team yet.

Well Denver is winning games it deserves to lose. Lets face it Denver is not playing good football, yet they are 2-0. As for San Diego they are way overrated. As we saw against the Pats Norv is going to kill that team just like he does every team he has coached. Soon Charger fans will be calling for Marty Ball...

[johnsmith]

Bly get caught trying to jump a slant yet, johnsmith?? If not, it's coming soon...

He was abused by Porter on an out & up for a touchdown, just like you said he would do.

He was actually beat again on what would have been a game winner but the ball was over thrown.

[johnsmith]

Isn't there an *official broncos thread* you can post this crap in? Fucking hijacker.


:lol Well played.

[TheSanityAnnex]

Soon Charger fans will be calling for Marty Ball...Or rational Charger fan will realize that their team just played two of the toughest teams back to back, coming out 1-1, and will not panic.

[ATRAIN]

Here is the power ranking from CNNSI

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/writers/dr_z/09/19/week2.rankings.part1/index.html

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

He was abused by Porter on an out & up for a touchdown, just like you said he would do.

He was actually beat again on what would have been a game winner but the ball was over thrown.


Frustrating to watch, eh?

He's a good player who thinks he's better than he actually is...

[Tradition]

Frustrating to watch, eh?

He's a good player who thinks he's better than he actually is...

I bet if Bly went to the Patriots, everyone would be sucking his dick. They would say how badass he is etc etc. :rolleyes :rolleyes

[Tradition]

In terms of how they have looked and all, Pats can be #1 all they want. Fact remains they are not the team to beat. The Colts are. They are the team EVERYONE in the afc is gunning for. They won the superbowl last year which means they are the defending champions. Thing is the Pats have to deal with a confident Manning now. Not the shaky one who couldnt hack their d a few years ago. Manning knows how to beat the Pats. He isnt scared of them anymore. But the afc comes down to these 2 teams. However the Broncos are another team who can take down the pats. They kicked their asses last year in foxburo, kicked their asses in the 06 playoffs ending their dynasty, and kicked their asses earlier that season. Brady is 1-4 against them.

[TheTruth]

Frustrating to watch, eh?

He's a good player who thinks he's better than he actually is...
Him and Bailey are still keeping teams under 100 yards per game through the air. He also had and INT on the last Raiders drive to secure OT. Bly's gonna get beat, but he's also gonna have a few plays that'll turn a game around. That being said, Jerry Porter absolutely abused him on that play.

[stretch]

In terms of how they have looked and all, Pats can be #1 all they want. Fact remains they are not the team to beat. The Colts are. They are the team EVERYONE in the afc is gunning for. They won the superbowl last year which means they are the defending champions. Thing is the Pats have to deal with a confident Manning now. Not the shaky one who couldnt hack their d a few years ago. Manning knows how to beat the Pats. He isnt scared of them anymore. But the afc comes down to these 2 teams. However the Broncos are another team who can take down the pats. They kicked their asses last year in foxburo, kicked their asses in the 06 playoffs ending their dynasty, and kicked their asses earlier that season. Brady is 1-4 against them.

I think the difference between the Colts and the Patriots is that people still aren't afraid of the Colts. I guarantee that every team in the league is much more intimidated by the Patriots than the Colts.

Now, I think that the Colts definitely have the best chance of beating the Patriots, and now that Manning has the monkey off his back, I think that he will pick apart that very average and overrated secondary, while Tom Brady picks apart the Colts secondary. It would basically be a shootout, and we all know that no one is going to beat the Colts in a shootout (except maybe the Bengals), which is why I wouldn't be surprised at all if the Colts beat the Patriots, even though I believe the Patriots are the better team. I think that the Colts strengths take advantage of the Patriots weaknesses, more than the Patriots strengths take advantage of the Colts weaknesses. However, I do not think that the Colts will repeat as champions.

I think that if the Cowboys are for real, they will be the SB champs for the 6th time (and I'm not being a homer, considering they are not even my favorite team, despite being from Dallas.) I feel that the matchups would favor the Cowboys HEAVILY.

[ATRAIN]

This guy has it all wrong!!!!

NFL Power Rankings for Week 3
September 21, 2007

By Tom Torrisi
PA SportsTicker Pro Football Editor

(Last week's rankings in parentheses)

1. (1) Indianapolis Colts - Nation needs a commercial break from No. 18.

ADVERTISEMENT
2. (3) New England Patriots - It's a slow news week when talk of 16-0 season starts.

3. (4) Chicago Bears - Three years later, a Cedric Benson sighting.

4. (5) Dallas Cowboys - No Fun League comes down hard on T.O. for a stunt that was not half-bad.

5. (6) Pittsburgh Steelers - Throwback uniforms need to be thrown out.

6. (7) Denver Broncos - Now one understand why coaches save those timeouts.

7. (2) San Diego Chargers - NFL schedule-makers has it in for this franchise.

8. (8) Baltimore Ravens - Can't get too excited about beating up defenseless Jets.

9. (12) Jacksonville Jaguars - Where has the running game gone?

10. (10) Seattle Seahawks - Bobbled away sure victory a week ago.

11. (9) New Orleans Saints - Dare we say they face a must-win already?

12. (11) Cincinnati Bengals - Officially No. 2 in Ohio with Ohio State closing fast.

13. (25) Green Bay Packers - Defense finally gets a test when LaDainian comes calling.

14. (17) Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Forget HGH, Joey Galloway must be taking the blue pill.

15. (18) San Francisco 49ers - 2-0 despite 8 first downs last week.

16. (20) Detroit Lions - Bigger miracle: Jon Kitna's concussion disappearing or Lions 2-0?

17. (22) Arizona Cardinals - Edgerrin James again showing life (see Joey Galloway).

18. (23) Washington Redskins - Coronation for Jason Campbell a bit premature.

19. (13) Philadelphia Eagles - Donovan McNabb's right about one thing: He needs to do a lot more.

20. (14) New York Jets - Bill Belichick coughed up half a million to tape these guys?

21. (15) Carolina Panthers - Nearly impossible to give up 34 straight points to Texans.

22. (21) Minnesota Vikings - Does it really matter who plays QB?

23. (28) Houston Texans - Who are these guys?

24. (24) Tennessee Titans - Could have taken down Colts if someone could catch the ball.

25. (16) St. Louis Rams - Solid contender for NFL's most overrated.

26. (31) Cleveland Browns - Check out last week's result next time you want to place a wager.

27. (19) New York Giants - Now we know why Tiki Barber went to NBC.

28. (26) Miami Dolphins - Now we know why Nick Saban went to Alabama.

29. (27) Buffalo Bills - There will be outdoor hockey in January. Football? Nah.

30. (29) Kansas City Chiefs - Taking baby steps. First need to become worst team in own division.

31. (32) Oakland Raiders - A late whistle from pulling off major upset.

32. (30) Atlanta Falcons - Signing Byron Leftwich reminds all how bad Joey Harrington is.

[TheSanityAnnex]

3. (4) Chicago Bears - Three years later, a Cedric Benson sighting.

:lol

I wish there were some Bears fans on this board.

[samikeyp]

Rashofan is a big Bears fan.

[J.T.]

I think the difference between the Colts and the Patriots is that people still aren't afraid of the Colts. I guarantee that every team in the league is much more intimidated by the Patriots than the Colts.

People aren't afraid of the Colts because there was so much spin on their offseason losses to make them look like they're a weaker team. The playoff defense seems to have returned, but I'm still wary of the Super Bowl hangover. The champs usually look awesome in the first game and then average for a while after that. Hopefully that's not a trend the Colts will follow.

I really think the Patriots are so hyped up because they're the paper champions right now. Everyone thinks they will win, so they start pointing out flaws in other teams and completely disregard that the Patriots may have to face the Colts for the AFC title again, possibly the Broncos in a division playoff game, two teams they have struggled against recently.

Honestly it's way too early in the season for a power ranking.

[T Park]

How can the Saints be ranked ahead of the Texans?

How can the Texans be rankd soooo low down to 23??

Damn.

[Roxsfan]

Go Texans! Top Ten team.

[Erect as a Bull]

LMAO @ the power rankings.
I love what it said about the Bills and Falcons.
Good stuff.
There were some other funny ones on the list as well.

As far as the Broncos I would rather be 2-0 then 1-1 or 0-2.

We play a Tough team this week but then after that our real test awaits when we go to Indy and then back home vs the Chargers.
Time to see what we are really made of.

I have a bad feeling that Peyton is going to espose the fuck out of Bly. :(