School then, and now. Spot on.....

[T Park]

SCHOOL
1977 vs. 2007






Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1977 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.




Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1977 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.




Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1977 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.




Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1977 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their Dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.




Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1977 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.




Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1977 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.




Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1977 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.




Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1977 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy

[Melmart1]

And of course the irony of this entire write up is that those kids of 1977 are largely the ones who gave birth to and raised the kids of 2007. Not only that, but they are likely the ones prescribing the ritalin, expelling the students and calling the SWAT.

In other words, as this peice would have you think that the kids of 1977 are superior to 2007, it is by and large their fault that the kids of today are the way they are.

I also hardly think that the DEA would be called over aspirin. :rolleyes Talk about exagerration :dramaquee

[Holt's Cat]

SCHOOL
1977 vs. 2007

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1977 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

1947 - Jack shoots up a random minority's house. Jack goes to school and tells the principal what he had done. Jack becomes an intern for the local Grand Wizard.



Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1977 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.


1947 - Bored with beating up each other, Johnny and Mark attack Mark's family black housekeeper.




Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1977 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.


1947 - Jeffrey is expelled. Thereafter he joins the Army and a few years later finds himself dying an agonizing death after a mortar ripped open his side on an icy Korean plain.



Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.[/B]
1977 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their Dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.


1947 - Billy goes to work at the mill and dies at age 37 from a heart attack brought on by poor diet and excessive smoking and drinking having never coped with the memories of his abusive father.




Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1977 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

1947 - Mark spends time with the prinicpal smoking his cock.



Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1977 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

1947 - Pedro is repeatedly called a "beaner" by his enlightened white classmates and not encouraged to pursue post-secondary education. Pedro works in menial jobs the rest of his life.




Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1977 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.


1947 - First Johnny's dog, then the neighbor's dog, and then the pretty girl down the street all mysteriously disappear.





Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1977 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy


1947 - Johnny quickly runs through two rolls of toilet paper at home thinking about Mary.

[T Park]

There is some.

Its more the problems of the adults from the 60s....

[BigBeezie]

Very corny to me...I'm drunk and it's still not funny.

[CuckingFunt]

Yes, yes.

The world is officially going to hell and it's all because redneck teenagers aren't allowed to bring shotguns to school anymore.

[samikeyp]

A lot of kids today and the past few years are pussies...and adults made them that way.

Less "time outs" and more "sit your ass down and be quiet" are needed.


One thing I will agree on is the "Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight" one.

Back in the day...if you had a problem with someone, you two went somewhere after school, beat the crap out of each other and it was settled. Now we have all these pussies bringing guns and knives and traveling in packs jumping kids because they don't have the balls to do it one on one.

"Ooh...I gotta be tough...i gots ta get my respect" or the other way "Ohhh life is so hard and mean.."

Shut the fuck up.

[Holt's Cat]

Things were just as fucked up in 1977 as they are today. Cute little nostalgic waxing like that is something your uncle spams his entire contact list with. You know, that uncle. Everyone has one.

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

Please beat your kids when necessary.


Thank you.

[T Park]

A lot of kids today and the past few years are pussies...and adults made them that way.

Less "time outs" and more "sit your ass down and be quiet" are needed.


One thing I will agree on is the "Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight" one.

Back in the day...if you had a problem with someone, you two went somewhere after school, beat the crap out of each other and it was settled. Now we have all these pussies bringing guns and knives and traveling in packs jumping kids because they don't have the balls to do it one on one.

"Ooh...I gotta be tough...i gots ta get my respect" or the other way "Ohhh life is so hard and mean.."

Shut the fuck up.


Pretty much what I was thinking.

[Trainwreck2100]

Please beat your kids when necessary.


Thank you.

http://img232.imageshack.us/img232/2422/beatkid4ns9.jpg

[Oh, Gee!!]

There is some.

Its more the problems of the adults from the 60s....

who raised those people? Adults of the 50's. I guess it their fault as well.

[MoSpur]

I just think parents need to discipline their children more than what they do. I use to work for the Y.M.C.A when I was in school and noticed a lot of children talking back to their parents.

[Whisky Dog]

It's funny how the passage of time brings about feelings of nostalgia and makes people forget about all the bad things that happened in the past. People actually get some nostalgic recollection of the '50s and '60s as some sort of Lassie or Leave it to Beaver episode when in reality they were very brutal and conflicted times. Those days sucked just as much as today does, and that's because the world is a dog eat dog place and we are all in a race for survival.

This nostalgic bullshit about the "good ol' days" is such a crock full of shit that it's incredible anyone actually believes it. Who started this thread... oh, wait...

[monosylab1k]

This nostalgic bullshit about the "good ol' days" is such a crock full of shit that it's incredible anyone actually believes it. Who started this thread... oh, wait...
:tu

[desflood]

Please beat your kids when necessary.


Thank you.
I like you better all the time.

[Art Linkletter]

If you remember the original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when 'Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, Is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

[samikeyp]

^^^:lmao

[MoSpur]

I miss that show.

[The Waco Kid]

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

These are great. :lmao