A general question for the guys (or girls)..

[LuvBones]

I just wanted to get people's opinion on why guys like to make girls jealous. Not saying that all guys do this but is it for the same reason girls do it? What is it?

[Guru of Nothing]

I'll eschew my smart-ass tendencies. Jealousy comes from within; nobody can make you jealous, except YOU.

[AlamoSpursFan]

I'm jealous of GoN and his $5 words...

:lol

[Guru of Nothing]

I'm jealous of GoN and his $5 words...

:lol

I'm guessing "ass" is a $5 word for you.

ETA: SMILEY FACE :lol

[LuvBones]

I'll eschew my smart-ass tendencies. Jealousy comes from within; nobody can make you jealous, except YOU.

My question was WHY guys like to make girls feel that way. Are you saying guys don't purposely talk about other girls in an attempt to make them jealous?

[AlamoSpursFan]

I'm guessing "ass" is a $5 word for you.

http://www.billrotelladrumbeatings.com/rimshot.gif

[Duff McCartney]

It makes me feel wanted.

[whottt]

All kidding aside...Gon is right, additionally, I think most guys want to avoid making their girl jealous if they can...it's not that fun having to deal with a jealous hearted female...They tend to be pissed off at you all the time and you don't really know what you did to make them act that way...often it's nothing.

[mattyc]

Girls make a living out of making us guys jealous. They love it whereas only a minority of guys bother trying to make a girl jealous - too much effort.

[iminlakerland]

Luvbones from the guys ive asked this question if they are in a relationship they usually do not try to make their girlfriends jealous.

But if its a flirty relationship where you guys arent necessarily together they try to see what kind of reaction they can get out of you. Its kinda childish but hey. Thats what i was told.

[Jekka]

I think some guys that feel the need to make girls jealous (because they don't feel plagued by jealousy like the other half of the male population) because it reaffirms the attraction - lets them know that the girl doesn't want to share them. An ego thing for the most part.

[exstatic]

Are you saying guys don't purposely talk about other girls in an attempt to make them jealous?

You give guys WAY too much credit and imagination. Guys are usually just clueless about these things until they get their heads snapped back a few times by the one they're with.

[MannyIsGod]

Are you kidding? Jealousy sucks anytime it rears it's ugly head and guys for the most part will not try to make a woman jealous. However, idiots with low self esteem like duff are different stories. See his post above.

[T Park]

agree ^^^^

[maxpower]

I was just talking to a friend about this. Jealousy is like any other emotion. You can't be human without it. Like anger and happiness it is inevitable that you experience it. Likewise it is not in your best interest to supress it. The best you can do is be up front about it but at the same time not let it control you.
The quicker you are able to identify your emotion be it anger, rage or jealousy the easier it is to detach, step back and see if you are being childish the easier you can cope with it.

As to the why guys make girls jealous? I can imagine a guy will try to make a girl jealous in an effort to see if she likes him. He may not trust what she says if he asks her directly. He wants to see her base emotions. He is insecure, for whatever reason. I would also say he is emotionally detached. By the same token, someone who is overly jealous may be considered too emotionally attached.

[Jimcs50]

Jealousy is a manifestation of the insecure mind. If you try to get your object of your affection jeaolous, or if you are jealous of him/her, you are just being insecure.

People that have high esteem do not need to play such games with their partners, because they are usually detrimental to an otherwise healthy relationship.

So find that someone that you do not feel the desire to act out such childish games and go on.

[spurster]

I agree with Ex. There's no reason to create an NBADan-style conspiracy theory when it's simply the fact that some guys will simply chase the closest skirt. Or perhaps some girls are a little controlling and don't want their boyfriend to even say hello to any other girl.

[Hook Dem]

Jealousy is a manifestation of the insecure mind. If you try to get your object of your affection jeaolous, or if you are jealous of him/her, you are just being insecure.

People that have high esteem do not need to play such games with their partners, because they are usually detrimental to an otherwise healthy relationship.

So find that someone that you do not feel the desire to act out such childish games and go on.
The winner!!!! Best advice so far.

[samikeyp]

My question was WHY guys like to make girls feel that way. Are you saying guys don't purposely talk about other girls in an attempt to make them jealous?

Believe it or not...we males of the species don't send memos out to each other on how to deal with women that week! :) Its probably the same reason girls do it to guys...personal insecurity.

[Jimcs50]

The winner!!!! Best advice so far.


Thanks Hookdem...i am working on an advice column in the local paper.....

Dear Stud.

:)

[CosmicCowboy]

http://www.nba.com/media/kings/Doug-whtback%20800x600.jpg

personally I think the bitch is just plain nuts...

[violentkitten]

it's because men are tired of weird fucking basket case women who rely on intuition, tea leaves, and their menstrual cycles to fuck up your life. we get the bitches back however we can. holla.

[MrChug]

:wtfJealousy is a bi-product of mistrust, believe it. Example...what if your girl/guy is getting hit on and getting flirted with by everyone in the place. If you KNOW that his/her thoughts are on you and only you...WHO CARES! I consider myself fairly easygoing although I DO have a posessive side, to be quite honest. I've been in positions lately where the girl I'm with is unbelieveably hot. I know this...still I can't think "Just because every man in here wants her, that does NOT mean she wants even ONE of them." If I did, I know that would be a mark of my own insecurities...cuz it is! However, I can stand back and kick it with my friends and she can go do whatever because I know that she's gonna come rushing back to me after a few minutes anyway! You gotta feel secure in the relationship.

[Hook Dem]

Thanks Hookdem...i am working on an advice column in the local paper.....

Dear Stud.

:)
You da man Jim! :lol

[CosmicCowboy]

Seriously, IMHO it totally depends on the stage of the relationship...

at the meet/just started dating stage a little jealousy and/or insecurity is a good thing...from my experience the guys that send flowers/candy and call three times a day get shit all over by the women they are going after..while a little benign neglect (not calling for a few days for instance) makes them want you even more...

BUT...once you are in a monogamous relationship a guy is absolutely NUTS to try to make his wife/GF jealous...

[violentkitten]

the best way to handle it is to first administer the shocker to her the next time she acts up (that means 2 in the pink, 1 in the stink tpark) and then follow that up with sliding your manhood into her backdoor and then ejaculating in her hair (chicks dig that) followed by a "so whatcha cooking for breakfast/dinner? better be good this time" comment after the happy ending

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

the best way to handle it is to first administer the shocker to her the next time she acts up (that means 2 in the pink, 1 in the stink tpark) and then follow that up with sliding your manhood into her backdoor and then ejaculating in her hair (chicks dig that) followed by a "so whatcha cooking for breakfast/dinner? better be good this time" comment after the happy ending


Duff?!?

[Drachen]

You give guys WAY too much credit and imagination. Guys are usually just clueless about these things until they get their heads snapped back a few times by the one they're with.

I really have to agree with this one, if I am talking to someone else it is not to make someone jealous, I am just being friendly. If the girl is being flirty or hitting on me I am usually totally oblivious too it. You dont know how many times this has gotten me in trouble.

[Jekka]

Seriously, IMHO it totally depends on the stage of the relationship...

at the meet/just started dating stage a little jealousy and/or insecurity is a good thing...from my experience the guys that send flowers/candy and call three times a day get shit all over by the women they are going after..while a little benign neglect (not calling for a few days for instance) makes them want you even more...

BUT...once you are in a monogamous relationship a guy is absolutely NUTS to try to make his wife/GF jealous...

... or not calling can just piss some girls off if it's right at the start of the relationship. If you wait more than about two days to make that call after a first date, it can make the girl think that you're not really all that interested ... and that's taking a risk if you want to see her again, because believe it or not, there are a lot of girls that don't fawn over aloof guys. Hard-to-get guys are not always better. I've not returned calls in some cases when they've pulled shit like waiting a week to call - unless they leave really good excuses on my voicemail (i.e. that never happens). :rolleyes

[CosmicCowboy]

OK...I agree that a week is too long, but three days seemed about right to me...

But you have to admit that the guys who really are persistent about sending cards, flowers, calling the next morning etc. almost ALWAYS get shit on...for some reason at that stage 90% of women seem to find it a turnoff rather than a desirable trait...

[Jekka]

OK...I agree that a week is too long, but three days seemed about right to me...

But you have to admit that the guys who really are persistent about sending cards, flowers, calling the next morning etc. almost ALWAYS get shit on...for some reason at that stage 90% of women seem to find it a turnoff rather than a desirable trait...

Eh, three days is pushing it. You have to remember that those three days you're debating about calling, she's spending that same time wondering when the hell you're going to call - if she's interested.

As for the persistent guys that get shit on, I think that's because most women have been the victim of at least a semi-obsessive relationship at some point - and those are just scary, between the constant calls, visits, jealousy, guilt they give you, etc - those are to be avoided at all costs. But on the other side, if we're talking about a particularly sadistic woman (the kind that most men have had at least one relationship with it seems like), those men are easier to take advantage of.

[SpursWoman]

OK...I agree that a week is too long, but three days seemed about right to me...

Yes, CC, we all know about the "Wait 3 Days Before You Call" game.


But you have to admit that the guys who really are persistent about sending cards, flowers, calling the next morning etc. almost ALWAYS get shit on...for some reason at that stage 90% of women seem to find it a turnoff rather than a desirable trait...


I must be part of that 10% then....IMO it beats the shit out of getting blown off for a week or 3 days or whatever and I'm far, far less likely to feel insecure and/or jealous. ;)


Oh, and jealousy = 100% insecurity

[CosmicCowboy]

Eh, three days is pushing it. You have to remember that those three days you're debating about calling, she's spending that same time wondering when the hell you're going to call - if she's interested.

I wasn't talking about being scared or debating about calling...I was talking about intentionally waiting three days...by that point if they wanted to get together they wouldn't play any games and would even break a date with another guy to go out with you because they would think you might not call back again if they didn't...

[Shelly]

Yes, CC, we all know about the "Wait 3 Days Before You Call" game.

Oh, God! It's the Rules! Anyone ever read that book? Biggest load of shit. Funniest thing is that one of the authors ended up getting divorced.

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0446602744.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

[SpursWoman]

I must be part of that 10% then....IMO it beats the shit out of getting blown off for a week or 3 days or whatever and I'm far, far less likely to feel insecure and/or jealous. ;)


And no, that has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with co-dependency or any other type of dysfunction....those of us less-paranoid people might see it as being thoughtful and considerate, not necessarily equating it to stalking.

[CosmicCowboy]

OK SW...I've been a bad bad boy...some discipline is probably in order hehehe

and 666...you heard the lady...for your convenience....

www.1800flowers.com/

www.FTD.COM

:lmao

[SpursWoman]

OK SW...I've been a bad bad boy...some discipline is probably in order hehehe


:eyebrows :smokin


and 666...you heard the lady...for your convenience....

www.1800flowers.com/

www.FTD.COM

:lmao


:lol :makeout

[GoldToe]

Perhaps because we think there is a possiblity for a menage a trois?

[Duff McCartney]

Duff?!?

Yes?

[Duff McCartney]

Dear Manny,

Fuck off..

Sincerely,

Duff.

[Useruser666]

:eyebrows :smokin




:lol :makeout

Funny CC said that today isn't it?!! :lol :makeout

CC, I have an account setup with 1800flowers.

[whottt]

OK...I agree that a week is too long, but three days seemed about right to me...

But you have to admit that the guys who really are persistent about sending cards, flowers, calling the next morning etc. almost ALWAYS get shit on...for some reason at that stage 90% of women seem to find it a turnoff rather than a desirable trait...

That's because those guys are probably trying to generate interest that wasn't there to begin with by sending those things. Those things are often a substitute for genuine attraction after a first meeting. And they probably do give someone who is uninterested reason to think twice...but it's no substitute for some kind of mutual attraction.

At least in my experience. If the girl likes you, you pretty much can do no wrong at first(this changes later on of course)...and if she doesn't...you can't do anything right.



No one likes feeling they are being pursued as an act of desperation...guys or gals. If it's not sincere and the girl has no interest that stuff is probably not going to work period.


If you are a flower sender etc or like the girl...send flowers, if you aren't then don't. And just take the consequences...You are just staving off the inevitable by trying to figure out how to manipulate her or the situation...One way or another the truth will eventually come out.

[ChumpDumper]

Chicks....They can't hold their smoke.

That's what it is.

[SpursWoman]

Funny CC said that today isn't it?!! :lol :makeout


:angel

[CosmicCowboy]

lmao...

you can thank me later SW...:lol

[SpursWoman]

Funny CC said that today isn't it?!! :lol :makeout



Okay....I didn't get that before. He didn't get here until just now... :wow :lol


:makeout :makeout :makeout :)

[ZStomp]

Seriously, IMHO it totally depends on the stage of the relationship...

at the meet/just started dating stage a little jealousy and/or insecurity is a good thing...from my experience the guys that send flowers/candy and call three times a day get shit all over by the women they are going after..while a little benign neglect (not calling for a few days for instance) makes them want you even more...

BUT...once you are in a monogamous relationship a guy is absolutely NUTS to try to make his wife/GF jealous...


I like this answer.

[LuvBones]

I like this answer.

Ditto.

[MannyIsGod]

In all seriousness,

I usually call soon after a date if I had a good time. The next day or 2, and try to set up a 2nd date. I've asked at the end of the first date if I'd be able to see a person again, and I'd never had any negative results doing that.

I don't follow any rule bullshit. I play things by ear and it's worked out ok. I think I asked Jess out again the night after our first date, but I don't remember for sure.

I can be over enthusiastic at the begining of a relationship and that's usually a turn off to the type of women I date, but I'm also reserved in some ways. I usually take forever to kiss someone etc.

I don't know, it's weird, you just have to play things by ear. But I don't see the point in playing games or following rules, that's just juvenile if you ask me.

Oh, and fuck girls who think they are my girlfriend on the 2nd date. That's just fucking crackheadish and downright scary.