Dumbest Basketball Quotes

[ElNono]

"I've had to overcome a lot of diversity."
-- Cavaliers forward Drew Gooden on the ups and downs of his NBA career

"Because there are no fours."
-- NBA long-range gunner Antoine Walker when asked why he shoots so many threes

"Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious."
-Charles Shackleford of the NCSU basketball team

"Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win."
-Doug Collins

"I've won at every level, except college and pro."
-Shaquille O'Neal, on his lack of championships.

"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
-Jason Kidd

"[My] career was sputtering until [I] did a 360 and got headed in the right direction."
- NBA star Tracy McGrady, after signing with the Orlando Magic on Thursday.

"Are you any relation to your brother Marv?"
-Basketball player Leon Wood to announcer Steve Albert

"It's almost like we have ESPN."
-Magic Johnson, on how well he and James Worthy work together

"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
-Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece

"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."
-Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice, 1982

"Tom."
-Tom Nissalke, New coach of the NBA's Houston Rockets, when asked how he pronounced his name, 1966

"I'll always be Number 1 to myself."
-Moses Malone

"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
-Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh

"I don't want to shoot my mouth in my foot, but those are games we can win."
-Sherman Douglas

"Anything that doesn't progress gets stuck or left behind. Our new sponsor is a company with a great future."
-Club president Fernando Ruiz of the Spanish basketball club Gijon Baloncesto, which has accepted sponsorship from a pornographic website. The website owners say they are considering supplying their girls to act as cheerleaders at Gijon's home games.

"Play some Picasso."
-Former New Jersey Net Chris Morris, to a piano player at a hotel bar while trying to impress a date.

"Unstoppable, baby!"
-Warrior rookie Marc Jackson to the Mavericks' bench, after hitting a lay-up during a 29-point loss.

"I've been dunked on by (Vitaly) Potapenko and now (Zan) Tabak. The good part is that they don't make posters of those guys."
- Houston Rockets forward Walt Williams

"No comment."
-Michael Jordan, after being asked for his response to making the All-Interview Team.

"I will shoot all you Asian (bleeps) ... Do you remember the Vietnam War? I'll kill y'all just like that."
-Point guard Jason Williams to a fan of Asian descent sitting behind the Kings bench during a game at Golden State. Williams was fined $15,000 by the NBA.

link (http://www.sportshollywood.com/dumbquotes.html)

[JamStone]

"We make a lot of money, but we spend a lot of money."

P. Ew

[Hemotivo]

:lmao

[phyzik]

"Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win."
-Doug Collins


:lol :lol

I remember sitting there thinking "WTF did he just say??"

[E20]

"Unstoppable, baby!"
-Warrior rookie Marc Jackson to the Mavericks' bench, after hitting a lay-up during a 29-point loss.
Dumb? No.
Funny? Yes.

[mookie2001]

"aint nobody here think we could get no win but us"
kenyon martin


"in college you learn about college"
jermaine oneal

[sa_kid20]

I remember Steve Francis saying something dumb like "We haven't played that bad since sliced bread" i just remember thinking... what an idiot :lol

[ata]

"Are you any relation to your brother Marv?"
-Basketball player Leon Wood to announcer Steve Albert


The Winner!

[da_suns_fan__]

The Shaq Parthenon quote and Antoine Walker quote were said "tongue-in-cheek". They aren't dumb.

[Obstructed_View]

"I've been dunked on by (Vitaly) Potapenko and now (Zan) Tabak. The good part is that they don't make posters of those guys."
- Houston Rockets forward Walt Williams

That strikes me as a rather witty comment. Unless I'm reading it wrong I don't see how it belongs. There have to be at least a dozen Kenyon Martin quotes that are dumber than that.

[PaceMonster]

lmfao jason williams...... holy shit haha

[resistanze]

"Play some Picasso."
-Former New Jersey Net Chris Morris, to a piano player at a hotel bar while trying to impress a date.

:lmao

[Reggie Miller]

"I've been dunked on by (Vitaly) Potapenko and now (Zan) Tabak. The good part is that they don't make posters of those guys."
- Houston Rockets forward Walt Williams

That strikes me as a rather witty comment. Unless I'm reading it wrong I don't see how it belongs. There have to be at least a dozen Kenyon Martin quotes that are dumber than that.


I agree. That one is really sharp and funny. Definitely my favorite.

The Tom Nissalke quote was probably also tongue-in-cheek.

[Chris]

Avery: "Bear hug defense"

[Spurminator]

That strikes me as a rather witty comment. Unless I'm reading it wrong I don't see how it belongs. There have to be at least a dozen Kenyon Martin quotes that are dumber than that.


SportsHollywood.com seems to be too "dumb" to differentiate wit from ignorance.

[SRJ]

"I've been dunked on by (Vitaly) Potapenko and now (Zan) Tabak. The good part is that they don't make posters of those guys."
- Houston Rockets forward Walt Williams


"Play some Picasso."
-Former New Jersey Net Chris Morris, to a piano player at a hotel bar while trying to impress a date.


"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."
-Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice, 1982

:lmao

I agree with the others that Williams' quote was not dumb, but it was damn funny. One that didn't make this list (I paraphrase, but the key phrase is verbatim):

"The negotiation was difficult, but that's all water under the table." - Shawn Kemp, on his new deal with Seattle

[JMarkJohns]

Whatever Danny Ainge said to Robert Horry to get a towel thrown in his face should be up there on the list.... Same with PJ and Spree... Oh, and Spree's "family to feed" quote belongs, but for the ignorant factor, but for the sheer stupidity.

[Spurminator]

This is full of good stuff.

http://www.shaqquotes.com/

[samikeyp]

"My game does not consist of fundamentals."

--Walter Berry

[MoSpur]

"Both teams played hard."

[JamStone]

On the NBA implementing a dress code: "I don't see it happening unless every NBA player is given a stipend to buy clothes."

-Marcus Camby

[ShoogarBear]

That strikes me as a rather witty comment. Unless I'm reading it wrong I don't see how it belongs. There have to be at least a dozen Kenyon Martin quotes that are dumber than that.FWIW, I would put Antoine's "there are no fours" in that category, too.

[SenorSpur]

"I've had to overcome a lot of diversity."
-- Cavaliers forward Drew Gooden on the ups and downs of his NBA career

"Because there are no fours."
-- NBA long-range gunner Antoine Walker when asked why he shoots so many threes

"Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious."
-Charles Shackleford of the NCSU basketball team

"Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win."
-Doug Collins

"I've won at every level, except college and pro."
-Shaquille O'Neal, on his lack of championships.

"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
-Jason Kidd

"[My] career was sputtering until [I] did a 360 and got headed in the right direction."
- NBA star Tracy McGrady, after signing with the Orlando Magic on Thursday.

"Are you any relation to your brother Marv?"
-Basketball player Leon Wood to announcer Steve Albert

"It's almost like we have ESPN."
-Magic Johnson, on how well he and James Worthy work together

"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
-Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece

"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."
-Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice, 1982

"Tom."
-Tom Nissalke, New coach of the NBA's Houston Rockets, when asked how he pronounced his name, 1966

"I'll always be Number 1 to myself."
-Moses Malone

"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
-Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh

"I don't want to shoot my mouth in my foot, but those are games we can win."
-Sherman Douglas

"Anything that doesn't progress gets stuck or left behind. Our new sponsor is a company with a great future."
-Club president Fernando Ruiz of the Spanish basketball club Gijon Baloncesto, which has accepted sponsorship from a pornographic website. The website owners say they are considering supplying their girls to act as cheerleaders at Gijon's home games.

"Play some Picasso."
-Former New Jersey Net Chris Morris, to a piano player at a hotel bar while trying to impress a date.

"Unstoppable, baby!"
-Warrior rookie Marc Jackson to the Mavericks' bench, after hitting a lay-up during a 29-point loss.

"I've been dunked on by (Vitaly) Potapenko and now (Zan) Tabak. The good part is that they don't make posters of those guys."
- Houston Rockets forward Walt Williams

"No comment."
-Michael Jordan, after being asked for his response to making the All-Interview Team.

"I will shoot all you Asian (bleeps) ... Do you remember the Vietnam War? I'll kill y'all just like that."
-Point guard Jason Williams to a fan of Asian descent sitting behind the Kings bench during a game at Golden State. Williams was fined $15,000 by the NBA.

link (http://www.sportshollywood.com/dumbquotes.html)


"...and that's what separates the professionals from the taxpayers"
-Jason Kidd, Dallas Mavericks, when asked about the his new lifestyle as a professional basketball player during his rookie season.

"Well, I don't remember all the names of all the clubs we went to"
- Shaquille O'Neal, Orlando Magic when asked whether he had visited the Parthenon while practicing with the U.S. Olympic Basketball team in Greece.

"This team is one execution away from being a very good basketball team." – Doc Rivers.

"Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious." – Charles Shackleford.

"He's one of the best power forwards of all-time. I take my hands off to him."
– Scottie Pippen.

“I ain't gonna be no escape-goat!"
– Karl Malone.

"These people haven't seen the last of my face. If I go down, I'm going down standing up."
- Chuck Person, NBA Basketball player

"I'm going to turn this team around 360 degrees"
-Jason Kidd, Dallas Mavs.

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
-Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks

[Obstructed_View]

FWIW, I would put Antoine's "there are no fours" in that category, too.
That quote says so much more about Antoine than I think he realizes, though.

[Roxsfan]

I remember Steve Francis saying something dumb like "We haven't played that bad since sliced bread" i just remember thinking... what an idiot :lol


The greatest invention since sliced bread is said b/c sliced bread machine was invented in 1928 ie a long time.

So even though it is odd, Francis was saying they have not played that bad in a long time.


Mr. Rohwedder was born in the great state of Iowa and is generally credited with inventing the first automatic bread slicer in 1928. Before this, people had to slice their own bread, or, in a pinch, rip off a hunk. According to Food Reference, Rohwedder's invention was initially poo-pooed by bakers who felt sliced bread would go stale too quickly. Eventually, Rohwedder constructed a slicer that also wrapped the bread, effectively solving the problem.

In 1930, Wonder Bread began selling pre-sliced bread. Other large bakeries quickly hopped on the bandwagon. The trend also helped to boost the popularity of another invention still in use today -- the toaster

[angel_luv]

"This team is one execution away from being a very good basketball team." – Doc Rivers.

:lol

[Reggie Miller]

:lol

Ironic, in that the head on the block will likely belong to Rivers.

[Obstructed_View]

The greatest invention since sliced bread is said b/c sliced bread machine was invented in 1928 ie a long time.

So even though it is odd, Francis was saying they have not played that bad in a long time.


Mr. Rohwedder was born in the great state of Iowa and is generally credited with inventing the first automatic bread slicer in 1928. Before this, people had to slice their own bread, or, in a pinch, rip off a hunk. According to Food Reference, Rohwedder's invention was initially poo-pooed by bakers who felt sliced bread would go stale too quickly. Eventually, Rohwedder constructed a slicer that also wrapped the bread, effectively solving the problem.

In 1930, Wonder Bread began selling pre-sliced bread. Other large bakeries quickly hopped on the bandwagon. The trend also helped to boost the popularity of another invention still in use today -- the toaster

You didn't just try to defend that statement by Francis.

Did you?

[samikeyp]

"Lotta people don't know where Utah is but it in Salt Lake."

--Karl Malone

[Duncanoypi]

"i'll never forgot the day when me and Jordan scored a combined 65 points in a playoff game" Stephen King referring about a bulls playoff game when Jordan scored 63 points... :hungry:

[SpursDynasty]

Here are dumbest things ever said by Spurs playoff opponents:

"Unlike last year, we're not just happy to be here in the Finals" - Byron Scott, speaking as if the New Jersey Nets actually had a chance in hell of defeating the 60-22 Spurs team in 2003 NBA Finals.

"Everyone thought that the Spurs would run through us and everyone is talking about the Spurs vs. the Suns in the conference finals. This team has a lot of heart and a lot of pride." - Marcus Camby after a 93-87 fluke Game 1 victory in the 2005 NBA Playoffs over the eventual champion Spurs. His Nuggets lost the next 4 in a row.

"We don't give 'em no respect..none!" - Jerome James after a cheap 91-90 Sonics victory in Game 3 of the 2005 Semifinals series vs. the Spurs. His team lost the series eventually.

"They took one from us last time, so now we took one from them" - Kevin Martin after his one-hit wonder game winning layup in 2006 first round vs. the Spurs gave the Kings a 94-93 win. So the defending champions who hold the #1 seed "took one" from a #8 seed by winning in overtime? Right.

""In our eyes we should be up three to one but we're not" - Mike Bibby after a Game 4 victory vs. the Spurs in the first round in 2006 tied the series 2-2. Why exactly were you supposed to be up 3-1? Your a #8 seed playing a defending champ. Kings lost the next 2 and were bounced out.

"We came out to get Game 1 but we also want to get Game 2" - Marcus Camby after a 95-89 Game 1 victory in the 2007 playoffs first round. Right Camby...you go on and go ahead and get Game 2! :lol

[MrChug]

...and who could forget:

"We ain't got no respect for them...NONE!"

-Jerome James after a Sonics win in the 2005 Playoffs...a series they eventually lost in six games.

[dirk4mvp]

"i'll never forgot the day when me and Jordan scored a combined 65 points in a playoff game" Stephen King referring about a bulls playoff game when Jordan scored 63 points... :hungry:


:lol :lol

[baseline bum]

http://archive.salon.com/people/bc/2000/05/30/barkley/print.html

"Would you suck a cock for a million dollars?" he asked. A roomful of men all instantly looked at their shoes.

"No," came the cracked-voice reply.

"A billion?" Barkley challenged.

"No," said the reporter, stronger now.

"Well, how much then?"

"I wouldn't do it for anything!"

Barkley grinned widely. "Well, if you'd do it for free, come on over here then," he said, while nervous laughter filled the air around him. "Tell y'all what, I would. If I was poor, I'd suck a cock for a million dollars."

He paused and looked at his audience. "And all you muthafuckas would do the same, you just scared to admit it," he said. "Like, remember when that movie 'Indecent Proposal' came out? Oprah had on three couples who said they wouldn't let their husband or wife sleep with someone for a million dollars. Couldn't help but notice that they all had money already."



If I weren't earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming.




My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no character.

[ShoogarBear]

^How are those "dumb"?

[baseline bum]

^How are those "dumb"?

I thought they were funny. Lots of great quotes in this thread that aren't dumb.

[Obstructed_View]

"i'll never forgot the day when me and Jordan scored a combined 65 points in a playoff game" Stephen King referring about a bulls playoff game when Jordan scored 63 points... :hungry:
First of all, this is another clever quote incorrectly classified in this thread. Second, nobody named Stephen King ever played for the Bulls in 1986. I've heard a quote like that, but I don't think it was for that game.

[Obstructed_View]

Found it. Actual quote:

Hot Rod Hundley: "My biggest thrill came the night Elgin Baylor and I combined for 73 points at Madison Square Garden. Elgin had 71 of them."

[MrChug]

First of all, this is another clever quote incorrectly classified in this thread. Second, nobody named Stephen King ever played for the Bulls in 1986. I've heard a quote like that, but I don't think it was for that game.

Yup...but Stacey King played for the Bulls. How do you know it wasn't him? :reading

[Roxsfan]

You didn't just try to defend that statement by Francis.

Did you?


I tried to explain what is thought process was, so shutty.

[Duncanoypi]

Yup...but Stacey King played for the Bulls. How do you know it wasn't him? :reading
yup, my bad its Stacey King...thank Mr. Chug

i've read that long time ago but I always remeber it was him..

[Walter Craparita]

"Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious."
-Charles Shackleford of the NCSU basketball team

omg

[dallaskd]

:lol

[Obstructed_View]

Yup...but Stacey King played for the Bulls. How do you know it wasn't him? :reading
Because I didn't try to piece together every player that had ever been in a game with Jordan when he scored a lot of points. I don't have that much free time. :)

King wasn't on the Bulls in '86 when Jordan scored 63, which combined with an incorrect name, makes the quote inaccurate. Now that someone has given me a correct name, a quick search finds that Stacey did play in the regular season game in 1990 where Jordan scored 69 and he scored 1. It's been reported that he said that he and Jordan combined for 70, so it did happen.

Hundley's quote happened, too, but 30 years earlier.

[Obstructed_View]

I tried to explain what is thought process was, so shutty.
It's apparently as flawed as your own.


"The popular use of the phrase derives from the fact that Wonder Bread, the first mass-marketer of sliced bread as a product, launched a 1930s ad campaign touting the innovation"----Morris, Evan, "Ever Wonder Where the First Sliced Bread and Other Famous Foods got Their Names?" Reader's Digest, January 2006, 155.

It has nothing to do with time. It is used to praise good ideas. If the quote from Francis is accurate, then he mangled the expression.

[Bruno]

For more funny quotes :
http://www.shamsports.com/content/pages/thefunstuff/quotes.jsp

[MrChug]

Because I didn't try to piece together every player that had ever been in a game with Jordan when he scored a lot of points. I don't have that much free time. :)

King wasn't on the Bulls in '86 when Jordan scored 63, which combined with an incorrect name, makes the quote inaccurate. Now that someone has given me a correct name, a quick search finds that Stacey did play in the regular season game in 1990 where Jordan scored 69 and he scored 1. It's been reported that he said that he and Jordan combined for 70, so it did happen.

Hundley's quote happened, too, but 30 years earlier.

WOW...you're right.











YOU DON'T HAVE ALOT OF FREE TIME Mr 10.80 posts per day...







It doesn't take free time jackass...just a memory. :rolleyes

[Obstructed_View]

WOW...you're right.











YOU DON'T HAVE ALOT OF FREE TIME Mr 10.80 posts per day...







It doesn't take free time jackass...just a memory. :rolleyes

That comment was an indication of how many times Jordan has scored a lot of points, but congrats for getting your panties in a twist due to not being smart enough to understand the humor.

[MrChug]

That comment was an indication of how many times Jordan has scored a lot of points, but congrats for getting your panties in a twist due to not being smart enough to understand the humor.

...and a to reciprocate a sarcastic kudos to you for understanding of what humor is, or rather lack thereof.

[Roxsfan]

It's apparently as flawed as your own.


"The popular use of the phrase derives from the fact that Wonder Bread, the first mass-marketer of sliced bread as a product, launched a 1930s ad campaign touting the innovation"----Morris, Evan, "Ever Wonder Where the First Sliced Bread and Other Famous Foods got Their Names?" Reader's Digest, January 2006, 155.

It has nothing to do with time. It is used to praise good ideas. If the quote from Francis is accurate, then he mangled the expression.

I agree with you on the "praise good inventions," but 1930 WAS a long time ago and so when it is used today--it can have a time-factor involved.

BTW, I do realize how stupid our conversation is and I accept full responsibility. :smokin

[Cry Havoc]

"If Shaq was 6'2" he'd be one of the best point guards in the league."

- Bill Walton

[carina_gino20]

"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
-Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh

I have a shirt that shows this quote. I think it's witty, not dumb, because it actually makes sense. I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long on time takes.

[MrChug]

"If Shaq was 6'2" he'd be one of the best point guards in the league."

- Bill Walton

:lol I also remember one game that he was calling in his son Luke's rookie season after a nice post pass to a cutter inside to the effect of: "That must be easily one of the greatest passes in basketball history..."

[Mr.Bottomtooth]

For more funny quotes :
http://www.shamsports.com/content/pages/thefunstuff/quotes.jsp


"Not really. I'm not a fan of Chinese food"

- Bobby Simmons, asked about whether he's looking forward to playing in Japan.

"I thought LeBron James was just going to be another addition to help me score,"

- Ricky Davis

"I think I am upsetting the coach."

- Yao Ming, after Jeff Van Gundy told him that on a scale of 1 to 10, a recent performance was a 1.

"Sometimes I screw up in the game, I miss a shot or I miss a rebound, and I fight myself. I am like, 'Why I miss that shot? Come on, what are you doing?' I am fighting myself."

- Mehmet Okur.

"Those Europeans, they know how to negotiate."

- Donyell Marshall, on buying number 42 from new teammate Mengke Bateer, who is actually Mongolian.

[Mr.Bottomtooth]

"I don't have the first clue who he is talking about, because all I worry about is Jerome."

- Jerome James, on Nate McMillan's comments about players on Seattle being selfish.

"Name 12 players better than me."

- Jalen Rose, 2002, on whether or not he should make the All -Star team.

"Winning is the best deodorant."

- Jason Kidd.

"Half Man, Half Sit-Out-The-Season."

- Charles Barkley, talking about Vince Carter.

"Isiah Thomas: "I've got some bad news. We're trading you to Phoenix."

Antonio McDyess: "What's the bad news?"

"Eddie Robinson is about one word: winning and losing."

- Paul Collier (his agent)

"It will work out, somehow. That's a hell of a duo right there, Marbury, Crawford and Houston."

- Carmelo Anthony assessing the future of the 2004 -05 Knicks

[Mr.Bottomtooth]

And the Macdaddy of them all:

"Why would I want to help them (the T -Wolves) win a title? They’re not doing anything for me. I’m at risk. I have a lot of risk here. I got my family to feed."

- Latrell Sprewell turning down a meagre $21 million contract.

[duncan228]

And the Macdaddy of them all:

"Why would I want to help them (the T -Wolves) win a title? They’re not doing anything for me. I’m at risk. I have a lot of risk here. I got my family to feed."

- Latrell Sprewell turning down a meagre $21 million contract.

We have the winner!

[dallaskd]

For more funny quotes :
http://www.shamsports.com/content/pages/thefunstuff/quotes.jsp


best one...

"Not really. I'm not a fan of Chinese food"

- Bobby Simmons, asked about whether he's looking forward to playing in Japan.

[dallaskd]

"I speak a little Spanish, so I'm able to communicate."

- Marcus Camby, on communicating with teammate Nene Hilario, who speaks Portuguese and not Spanish.

:lol

[Kriz-Maxima]

Thats actually not too bad. An spanish speaking person understands a portuguese better than an english speaking person. Some words are a lot alike. Even if Camby cant speak portuguese he might be able to communicate a little with nene through spanish.

[dallaskd]

Thats actually not too bad. An spanish speaking person understands a portuguese better than an english speaking person. Some words are a lot alike. Even if Camby cant speak portuguese he might be able to communicate a little with nene through spanish.

and your telling a person who is almost fluent in portuguese

[Obstructed_View]

"I don't have the first clue who he is talking about, because all I worry about is Jerome."

- Jerome James, on Nate McMillan's comments about players on Seattle being selfish.
^^^^^My nominee. :lol

[slayermin]

"My game is like the Pythagorean theorem, no one has an answer," - Snaq

[Kriz-Maxima]

and your telling a person who is almost fluent in portuguese

Spanish is my primary language and I have talked with people from Brasil, being able to understand them (and them understand me) enough to sustain a conversation.