Hook Dem
12-23-2004, 02:26 PM
The following is supposedly an actual question given
on a University
of
Washington chemistry
mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound"
that the
professor
shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which
is, of course, why
we
now
have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat)
or endothermic
absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is
compressed) or some
variant.
=/SPAN
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
changing in time. So we
need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell
and the rate at
which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume
that once a soul
gets
to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look
at the different
Religions what exist in the world today. Most of
these religions state
that
if you are not a member of their religion, you will
go to Hell. Since
there
is more than one of these religions and since people
do not belong to
more
than one religion, we can project that all souls go
to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect
the number of
souls
in
hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the
rate of change of
the
volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in
order for the
temperature
and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
Hell has to
expand
proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the
rate at which souls
enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until
all
Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in
Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until
Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
during my Freshman
year
that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
with you", and
take
into
account the fact that I slept with her last night,
then number 2 must
be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and
has already
frozen
over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
frozen over, it
follows
that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore,
extinct...leaving
only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which
explains
why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A
on a University
of
Washington chemistry
mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound"
that the
professor
shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which
is, of course, why
we
now
have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat)
or endothermic
absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is
compressed) or some
variant.
=/SPAN
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
changing in time. So we
need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell
and the rate at
which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume
that once a soul
gets
to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look
at the different
Religions what exist in the world today. Most of
these religions state
that
if you are not a member of their religion, you will
go to Hell. Since
there
is more than one of these religions and since people
do not belong to
more
than one religion, we can project that all souls go
to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect
the number of
souls
in
hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the
rate of change of
the
volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in
order for the
temperature
and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
Hell has to
expand
proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the
rate at which souls
enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until
all
Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in
Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until
Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
during my Freshman
year
that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
with you", and
take
into
account the fact that I slept with her last night,
then number 2 must
be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and
has already
frozen
over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
frozen over, it
follows
that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore,
extinct...leaving
only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which
explains
why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A